Class of December 2020 Part 7
s ❤️
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 729
Good morning/evening Team D,
So am in Sydney. At my mum house with the kids until weekend. A visit with Gran on the way home. So not totally home free just yet. But after Easter weekend it still feels much much easier. 😂 I can handle her drinking. Not like I haven’t seen it before. And it is easier when it is her house , not mine.
Although I did note to self last night , as I did a bit of battling with drinking urges, that last time I was here, was for a few days between lockdowns in Melbourne. I drank all the beer she had bought for me on first day and stole several bottles of wine from her cellar. also went and bought more beer and vodka. The vodka I drank in my room. 🙄🙄 So nice not to be in that place anymore.
So am in Sydney. At my mum house with the kids until weekend. A visit with Gran on the way home. So not totally home free just yet. But after Easter weekend it still feels much much easier. 😂 I can handle her drinking. Not like I haven’t seen it before. And it is easier when it is her house , not mine.
Although I did note to self last night , as I did a bit of battling with drinking urges, that last time I was here, was for a few days between lockdowns in Melbourne. I drank all the beer she had bought for me on first day and stole several bottles of wine from her cellar. also went and bought more beer and vodka. The vodka I drank in my room. 🙄🙄 So nice not to be in that place anymore.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 729
Originally Posted by CBS62 
Hello Class D. Hope everyone is doing well on this Monday. Day 110 sober for me. I feel like some of the PAWS symptoms are lifting. However, I know they often return in waves. Numbness in my arms in the morning is better. Anxiety is better. Appetite is back. I still have persistent dizziness/rocking sensation and balance issues, numbness in my heels and tingling in my back.
I want to post some pictures but I am struggling with the technology.
Best to all of you!
I want to post some pictures but I am struggling with the technology.
Best to all of you!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 729
Originally Posted by Zura
Good Morning All,
...
Im making small steps towards healthfulness and Im slowly getting fitter and I think I'm starting to loose weight even though my diets not that great yet. So baby steps. I'm afraid my life isn't very exciting, I live a very solitary life, but that's how i need it to be atm and I quite enjoy it when Im not feeling sorry for myself 🤣
...
Im making small steps towards healthfulness and Im slowly getting fitter and I think I'm starting to loose weight even though my diets not that great yet. So baby steps. I'm afraid my life isn't very exciting, I live a very solitary life, but that's how i need it to be atm and I quite enjoy it when Im not feeling sorry for myself 🤣
I learned quite a lot about myself by putting myself under the blowtorch over Easter. Not that I am recommending it as a sensible course of action, in early sobriety. But it has made the penny drop a bit more on a few things. Like how important re-establishing a healthy respect for and relationship with my body is. My body is not my enemy. It does not deserve punishment and neither do I. Not quite ready to quit smoking yet or get real about exercise, but definitely coming soon.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 729
Originally Posted by EllyB
Well, made it through Easter weekend relatively unscathed, except... picked up the wrong coffee and had a gulp of Irish coffee that our friend who was visiting our cabin had made! They were in paper cups with lids and all looked the same. How crazy is that? I am planning on not thinking or worrying about it, as it had zero effect, but man, it was weird to go from thinking about drinking and not doing it to NOT thinking about drinking (in the AM) and accidentally drinking!
Definitely not restarting my count... but it was the weirdest mistake ever. Thought this friend didn’t drink much, but am now starting to wonder. The whiskey was sitting on the counter from the previous night, but....
Definitely not restarting my count... but it was the weirdest mistake ever. Thought this friend didn’t drink much, but am now starting to wonder. The whiskey was sitting on the counter from the previous night, but....
Elly, sounds like you did a great job navigating your Easter as well. And agree an unintended mouthful of that doesn’t count. I did similar thing at Xmas time. Took a mouthful of family Xmas pudding that was just pure unmitigated brandy. Briefly considered trying to throw it up at the time. 😂
Hope things are a bit more peaceful for you and you get a break from life challenges . So much ❤️
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 2,698
Good Afternoon Venus ❤️
Tanky - your situation, although not quite so dramatic by the sounds of it, reminds me of the saying "jumping out of the frying pan into the fire" maybe it's more a reversal lol. But you got this, your making amazing progress 😊.
You'll quit smoking when it's the right time for you. I didn't last long, maybe a few days and had a huge PTSD attack and caved. I'll keep trying though, the main thing is to shelter myself until I've got my life balanced and all these things under control 100%. Takes time especially with PTSD, I've never had it this bad, it was sort of this background thing before but now it's very powerful and loud. Part of me thinks it's stronger now to awaken me to people that are toxic, because obviously the subtle approach wasn't working on me lol. Or maybe I'm just more in tune with myself? Who knows!
Tanky - your situation, although not quite so dramatic by the sounds of it, reminds me of the saying "jumping out of the frying pan into the fire" maybe it's more a reversal lol. But you got this, your making amazing progress 😊.
You'll quit smoking when it's the right time for you. I didn't last long, maybe a few days and had a huge PTSD attack and caved. I'll keep trying though, the main thing is to shelter myself until I've got my life balanced and all these things under control 100%. Takes time especially with PTSD, I've never had it this bad, it was sort of this background thing before but now it's very powerful and loud. Part of me thinks it's stronger now to awaken me to people that are toxic, because obviously the subtle approach wasn't working on me lol. Or maybe I'm just more in tune with myself? Who knows!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 363
Tanky, Zura...I think it’s good to get comfortable with conquering one addiction at a time when possible, unless you have to do two together. I had to give up coffee for awhile when I first quit drinking because of PAWS and anxiety (though went back to 1/2 a cup a day).
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 2,698
How are you Elly 😊
I totally understand the conquering one thing at a time approach and that's definitely the way to go for many. For me, having one parent have a very early heartache and then die from massive coronary in their 60s, then watch the other parent slowly waste away from COPD for twenty years with extremely low quality of life I'm pretty motivated to sort this before I've done irreversible damage. Although I'm not quite 40, Ive been far rougher with myself than either of my parents and feel the clocks ticking. I want to be around for my kids to whom I'm pretty much their only source of emotional support.
I totally understand the conquering one thing at a time approach and that's definitely the way to go for many. For me, having one parent have a very early heartache and then die from massive coronary in their 60s, then watch the other parent slowly waste away from COPD for twenty years with extremely low quality of life I'm pretty motivated to sort this before I've done irreversible damage. Although I'm not quite 40, Ive been far rougher with myself than either of my parents and feel the clocks ticking. I want to be around for my kids to whom I'm pretty much their only source of emotional support.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 2,693
Hey Team D
Sorry I'm been missing the last week or 2. Pretty rough time mentally lead to drinking. No excuses just it was. Then feel even worse. trying day 1 for a week and failing, Anyway day 1 was yesterday so woke up on day 2 today. Took no sleeping tablets or relaxants either yesterday whcih I usually do when I stop drinking. Total cold turkey. Off work so good opportunity to get totally clean.
How are you all doing? I haven't read the thread yet but I will
Love to you all.x
Sorry I'm been missing the last week or 2. Pretty rough time mentally lead to drinking. No excuses just it was. Then feel even worse. trying day 1 for a week and failing, Anyway day 1 was yesterday so woke up on day 2 today. Took no sleeping tablets or relaxants either yesterday whcih I usually do when I stop drinking. Total cold turkey. Off work so good opportunity to get totally clean.
How are you all doing? I haven't read the thread yet but I will
Love to you all.x
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 729
Team Dddddddddddeeee,
RAL - ❤️❤️❤️❤️ so so glad you are back, dear one. We did miss you so. I am such an alkie that part of me is jealous of your drinking time. 🤦♀️
Zura - wonder whether the PTSD symptoms you are experiencing now are just what you have been suppressing/masking w alcohol for years? Not just that you “notice them” more but that they ARE more. Like, my theory is that alcohol did “work” to “treat” my symptoms to an extent. For many years . It just had very very negative consequences/side effects. Because , as you know my PTSD stuff got pretty bad after I stopped drinking - and fairly rapidly- and I had to medicate. Yet I had been medication-free, treatment-free and largely asymptomatic for 2 or 3 years at end of my drinking. Possibly because I had achieved a type of walking death? No feelings. No depression. No anxiety. Drunk gaming robot. When I have had a chunk of sober time, I will try to wean back off the medication. But I think that is well down the track.
Lixie - brilliant that you were able to tip wine out! Hope you are a little bit chuffed with yourself for that. So glad you have got through intense time relatively unscathed and feel you are ready to get back on track. Xx
Elly - I totally get the one addiction at a time. Originally when I tried to quit last October I did try to quit all three of mine at once - alcohol, cigarettes and gaming/gambling. Didn’t go so well. 🤣 relapsed on all three after a few weeks. But is day 46 alcohol and day 117 gaming now. So progress. 😂
CBS - hope you are continuing to enjoy some small gains on the PAWS front and starting to be able to feel the peace of sobriety a bit more
Hi beautiful vcat and dee. 🙃
RAL - ❤️❤️❤️❤️ so so glad you are back, dear one. We did miss you so. I am such an alkie that part of me is jealous of your drinking time. 🤦♀️
Zura - wonder whether the PTSD symptoms you are experiencing now are just what you have been suppressing/masking w alcohol for years? Not just that you “notice them” more but that they ARE more. Like, my theory is that alcohol did “work” to “treat” my symptoms to an extent. For many years . It just had very very negative consequences/side effects. Because , as you know my PTSD stuff got pretty bad after I stopped drinking - and fairly rapidly- and I had to medicate. Yet I had been medication-free, treatment-free and largely asymptomatic for 2 or 3 years at end of my drinking. Possibly because I had achieved a type of walking death? No feelings. No depression. No anxiety. Drunk gaming robot. When I have had a chunk of sober time, I will try to wean back off the medication. But I think that is well down the track.
Lixie - brilliant that you were able to tip wine out! Hope you are a little bit chuffed with yourself for that. So glad you have got through intense time relatively unscathed and feel you are ready to get back on track. Xx
Elly - I totally get the one addiction at a time. Originally when I tried to quit last October I did try to quit all three of mine at once - alcohol, cigarettes and gaming/gambling. Didn’t go so well. 🤣 relapsed on all three after a few weeks. But is day 46 alcohol and day 117 gaming now. So progress. 😂
CBS - hope you are continuing to enjoy some small gains on the PAWS front and starting to be able to feel the peace of sobriety a bit more
Hi beautiful vcat and dee. 🙃
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 729
Originally Posted by venuscat
Hi Iove. ❤️
StiII in Sydney? xx
❤️StiII in Sydney? xx
and yes, Sydney until Sunday morning. Still managing pretty well. Although was very very flat and exhausted yesterday , possibly a come-down from enormous effort involved over Easter. It affected my ability to be present w kids a bit. Then had some more brief battles with obsession in the evening. But is amazing that the battles are brief .
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 729
Thanks dee and v, helps to be reminded that I did it. And I should be proud of that.
The benefits were even evident at the time, to an extent. My son values the relationship he has with his dad right now, so much. It is important to allow him space for that, even if my preference would essentially be otherwise. And my ex actually sent me a message after she left saying one of the best things to come out of weekend for her was that the two of us seemed to have found a “better rhythm”.
The benefits were even evident at the time, to an extent. My son values the relationship he has with his dad right now, so much. It is important to allow him space for that, even if my preference would essentially be otherwise. And my ex actually sent me a message after she left saying one of the best things to come out of weekend for her was that the two of us seemed to have found a “better rhythm”.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
