Class of April 2020 Part One
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Day 15
The time is 03:45 as I start to write this in my sleepy rural village in the middle of England. The candles are lit - the silence is deafening - and a mug of freshly brewed coffee sits beside me as I catch up with the April class of 2020. This is my routine - the ‘safe place’ where I start my day - and it has to be my favourite time as I can be mindful, considered and calm.
Like many others words escape me with respect to your situation Karen. I’ll say no more as he is your son and you love him (obviously) but... well.... speechless.
Red - I hope your day went ok?
BWCA - your body and organs thank you for the two weeks rest you gave them. The liver doesn’t count days. The days are not lost (only in your head do they feel they are lost - something all of us in here can relate to). But the days are not lost - it’s just time to start the arbitrary counter again. Welcome.
I have a busy day today. I am on a Microsoft 365 Teams Board Meeting for most of my working hours (Teams is like Skype but on steroids for those not familiar with it). We will be discussing how we try and save the Company and 6,000 jobs. It’s amazing to think that two weeks ago I would have been leading this meeting hungover, foggy, suicidal and riddled in physical pain. Today I feel ready and clear of mind to do my best for everyone. Thank goodness it was COVID-19 that put the business in this jeopardy and not my drinking. I couldn’t have lived with it if it was alcoholism that was putting these jobs at stake. But it could have been. Oh so easily it could have been.
Mrs JT shaved my head with clippers (number one all over) a week ago. I’m not sure what the Board will make of their CEO looking like a war veteran? I think it goes nicely with my seven day old beard? I look a bit like one of those action men I had when I was a kid in the late seventies / early eighties. Just uglier. And a bit fatter! I have lost a ton of weight though in the last two weeks. Goodness I was in a really bad way. But the 12 pounds lost in 14 days through walking seven miles a day (-800 calories) versus drinking 3 to 4 bottles of wine a night (+2,200 to 3,000) calories a day (a -3,000 calorie swing) takes effect quickly. I’m amazed I’m only about a stone off being around my fighting weight again. Vanity has always been a rather ugly, yet welcome saviour for me.
I entered this class saying I had reached my rock bottom - that I would NEVER drink again. We become so absolute and definite don’t we? However I will not lie. The bank holiday weekend, with the sun beating down hard, gave my AV it’s own chair next to me on the patio. “Wouldn’t it be nice to have a glass of red with Mrs JT? You deserve it. We can start again tomorrow! Why are you so all or nothing? Come on! We will just drink one night a week. You don’t have to be all or nothing. We will set up rules and stick by them this time. The wife would be happier too you know? She would love a ‘normal’ drink with her husband now and then. Hey! We could fire up House Party and talk to a few friends and have a laugh! Go ooooonnnnnnn!”
That was the internal dialogue. Both Saturday and Sunday night. I didn’t post on here as I wasn’t ever close to bending my will but the voice was powerful. Convincing. Slippery. I’m not a religious man at all (sorry) but it did feel exactly how I imagined Adam, Eve and the serpent would have played out... a cooing, convincing yet insidious voice... Anyhow that’s my ‘confession’. We all start out at 100% but no matter how poorly we became... no matter how convinced we are that ‘this time is definitely it’... that AV will never be far away.... so be prepared.
Wow I’m 35 minutes in (4:20 am) now. How time flies when one is writing and on a roll. I’ll go and make coffee number two now and wish you all the best for the day no matter where you are in the World.
Stay safe. Stay home. Stay Sober.
J “religious or not the holy book has a lot to teach us” T.
The time is 03:45 as I start to write this in my sleepy rural village in the middle of England. The candles are lit - the silence is deafening - and a mug of freshly brewed coffee sits beside me as I catch up with the April class of 2020. This is my routine - the ‘safe place’ where I start my day - and it has to be my favourite time as I can be mindful, considered and calm.
Like many others words escape me with respect to your situation Karen. I’ll say no more as he is your son and you love him (obviously) but... well.... speechless.
Red - I hope your day went ok?
BWCA - your body and organs thank you for the two weeks rest you gave them. The liver doesn’t count days. The days are not lost (only in your head do they feel they are lost - something all of us in here can relate to). But the days are not lost - it’s just time to start the arbitrary counter again. Welcome.
I have a busy day today. I am on a Microsoft 365 Teams Board Meeting for most of my working hours (Teams is like Skype but on steroids for those not familiar with it). We will be discussing how we try and save the Company and 6,000 jobs. It’s amazing to think that two weeks ago I would have been leading this meeting hungover, foggy, suicidal and riddled in physical pain. Today I feel ready and clear of mind to do my best for everyone. Thank goodness it was COVID-19 that put the business in this jeopardy and not my drinking. I couldn’t have lived with it if it was alcoholism that was putting these jobs at stake. But it could have been. Oh so easily it could have been.
Mrs JT shaved my head with clippers (number one all over) a week ago. I’m not sure what the Board will make of their CEO looking like a war veteran? I think it goes nicely with my seven day old beard? I look a bit like one of those action men I had when I was a kid in the late seventies / early eighties. Just uglier. And a bit fatter! I have lost a ton of weight though in the last two weeks. Goodness I was in a really bad way. But the 12 pounds lost in 14 days through walking seven miles a day (-800 calories) versus drinking 3 to 4 bottles of wine a night (+2,200 to 3,000) calories a day (a -3,000 calorie swing) takes effect quickly. I’m amazed I’m only about a stone off being around my fighting weight again. Vanity has always been a rather ugly, yet welcome saviour for me.
I entered this class saying I had reached my rock bottom - that I would NEVER drink again. We become so absolute and definite don’t we? However I will not lie. The bank holiday weekend, with the sun beating down hard, gave my AV it’s own chair next to me on the patio. “Wouldn’t it be nice to have a glass of red with Mrs JT? You deserve it. We can start again tomorrow! Why are you so all or nothing? Come on! We will just drink one night a week. You don’t have to be all or nothing. We will set up rules and stick by them this time. The wife would be happier too you know? She would love a ‘normal’ drink with her husband now and then. Hey! We could fire up House Party and talk to a few friends and have a laugh! Go ooooonnnnnnn!”
That was the internal dialogue. Both Saturday and Sunday night. I didn’t post on here as I wasn’t ever close to bending my will but the voice was powerful. Convincing. Slippery. I’m not a religious man at all (sorry) but it did feel exactly how I imagined Adam, Eve and the serpent would have played out... a cooing, convincing yet insidious voice... Anyhow that’s my ‘confession’. We all start out at 100% but no matter how poorly we became... no matter how convinced we are that ‘this time is definitely it’... that AV will never be far away.... so be prepared.
Wow I’m 35 minutes in (4:20 am) now. How time flies when one is writing and on a roll. I’ll go and make coffee number two now and wish you all the best for the day no matter where you are in the World.
Stay safe. Stay home. Stay Sober.
J “religious or not the holy book has a lot to teach us” T.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Greece
Posts: 943
Good morning ! Great post Tony !
Im waiting for a friend to come over and see with we can jump start my car ! Yesterday I wanted to go to the pharmacy for my husbands drugs and it would t start .
Yeayerday my laptop also decided it would keep cutting out
and I need it to home school the kids .
Well best get dressed ! I will not drink or smoke today !
Im waiting for a friend to come over and see with we can jump start my car ! Yesterday I wanted to go to the pharmacy for my husbands drugs and it would t start .
Yeayerday my laptop also decided it would keep cutting out
and I need it to home school the kids . Well best get dressed ! I will not drink or smoke today !
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 2,229
Hi all! The movie was really intense and kept me awake. A series about young people getting led into isis. Odd name, can't quite recall it, "Katchopi"? No, oh well.
So, just popping in here to see what goes on in the middle of the night. Funny to see you all getting up! Let's me know I am up way too late.
Great post Tony. So glad that AV didn't get the best of you.
Thanks to all of you for your support with my son. You have inspired me, and I am going to tell him absolutely no more of that. No argument, just the facts.
Thanks and good middle-of-the-night from Georgia.
So, just popping in here to see what goes on in the middle of the night. Funny to see you all getting up! Let's me know I am up way too late.
Great post Tony. So glad that AV didn't get the best of you.
Thanks to all of you for your support with my son. You have inspired me, and I am going to tell him absolutely no more of that. No argument, just the facts.
Thanks and good middle-of-the-night from Georgia.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 268
Hi guys...
My torch now...11:20pm in Vancouver lol
I guess our Province has pretty much the same plan as yours Wastinglife... We are looking ahead to June at this point.. I just hope my my job still exists when we get the all clear to go back... We're still allowed to go out, with social distancing etiquette.. I went riding the trails on my bike today, ordered a bluetooth speaker so I can listen to tunes too... I'm lining them all up on Spotify
The bears are awake...just gotta keep an eye out, they're hungry...
My torch now...11:20pm in Vancouver lol
I guess our Province has pretty much the same plan as yours Wastinglife... We are looking ahead to June at this point.. I just hope my my job still exists when we get the all clear to go back... We're still allowed to go out, with social distancing etiquette.. I went riding the trails on my bike today, ordered a bluetooth speaker so I can listen to tunes too... I'm lining them all up on Spotify
The bears are awake...just gotta keep an eye out, they're hungry...
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
morning x
hmm i came late with this torch thing, was reading through it and my old gaming thoughts came to my head lol, i remember we had to work around time zones for any wars we had to play. In my squad i had so many diffrent time zones and not just including usa and there we had 3 time zones, from est, mountain time, pst, im sure i am missing a 4th is that central time hmm long time ago now lol, and then u got yes we had aussie, to canadian, to south africa, to philapeans, i actually think fondly about it all as it was wonderful to be intouch with so many people at the time around the world x nvm just thinking out loud on the past x
anyhoo i with pledge not to pick up today day 4
back to work tomo, cant wait and see some of my old customers x
hope u all have a nice day where ever u are xx
hmm i came late with this torch thing, was reading through it and my old gaming thoughts came to my head lol, i remember we had to work around time zones for any wars we had to play. In my squad i had so many diffrent time zones and not just including usa and there we had 3 time zones, from est, mountain time, pst, im sure i am missing a 4th is that central time hmm long time ago now lol, and then u got yes we had aussie, to canadian, to south africa, to philapeans, i actually think fondly about it all as it was wonderful to be intouch with so many people at the time around the world x nvm just thinking out loud on the past x
anyhoo i with pledge not to pick up today day 4
back to work tomo, cant wait and see some of my old customers x
hope u all have a nice day where ever u are xx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 127
Originally Posted by StartAnew68 
I wonder whether everything going on in the world has bought home in some way that life can be short - especially when not able to see loved ones.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Greece
Posts: 943
Do we have anyone in Aussie ? If not I think your passing it to me ? Is that right Tony ?
My friend came and jumped my car for me. Thank God it was just the battery from such little use .
My next door neighbor is drinking beer on her veranda and I'm grateful for te lockdown .... Otherwise I would be tempted to join her .
Just sat having a coffee and need to motivate myself to move the goats to the next field .
i also need to motivate myself to do some online workouts !
My friend came and jumped my car for me. Thank God it was just the battery from such little use .
My next door neighbor is drinking beer on her veranda and I'm grateful for te lockdown .... Otherwise I would be tempted to join her .
Just sat having a coffee and need to motivate myself to move the goats to the next field .
i also need to motivate myself to do some online workouts !
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Originally Posted by Strawberry18
Do we have anyone in Aussie ? If not I think your passing it to me ? Is that right Tony ?
My friend came and jumped my car for me. Thank God it was just the battery from such little use .
My next door neighbor is drinking beer on her veranda and I'm grateful for te lockdown .... Otherwise I would be tempted to join her .
Just sat having a coffee and need to motivate myself to move the goats to the next field .
i also need to motivate myself to do some online workouts !
My friend came and jumped my car for me. Thank God it was just the battery from such little use .
My next door neighbor is drinking beer on her veranda and I'm grateful for te lockdown .... Otherwise I would be tempted to join her .
Just sat having a coffee and need to motivate myself to move the goats to the next field .
i also need to motivate myself to do some online workouts !
Burn baby burn, burn.
J "old enough to remember that song" T
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Just had the best sleep ever! I think 10 hours without waking up in the night. I put on a YouTube sleep hypnosis video and drifted away. It was a female voice, British accent that told me to relax..."you can not feel your legs anymore " , "you will sleep now"....last thing I remember....
(Great that I didn't need booze to help it!)
(Great that I didn't need booze to help it!)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Europe
Posts: 711
Holy Moly here we go again.
Checking in as about to be newly sober, April 16th 2020.
Will be telling my story tomorrowmorning - it is nighttime over here - but I need to give it a new try, that's for sure.
Had sobriety between December 3rd 2018 and April 23 2019, and than I was on and off, for on and off.
"Glad" to meet you again.
Stay safe, and sober.
Checking in as about to be newly sober, April 16th 2020.
Will be telling my story tomorrowmorning - it is nighttime over here - but I need to give it a new try, that's for sure.
Had sobriety between December 3rd 2018 and April 23 2019, and than I was on and off, for on and off.
"Glad" to meet you again.
Stay safe, and sober.
s xx ❤️❤️
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 364
Originally Posted by ChopStickCheese
Holy Moly here we go again.
Checking in as about to be newly sober, April 16th 2020.
Will be telling my story tomorrowmorning - it is nighttime over here - but I need to give it a new try, that's for sure.
Had sobriety between December 3rd 2018 and April 23 2019, and than I was on and off, for on and off.
"Glad" to meet you again.
Stay safe, and sober.
Checking in as about to be newly sober, April 16th 2020.
Will be telling my story tomorrowmorning - it is nighttime over here - but I need to give it a new try, that's for sure.
Had sobriety between December 3rd 2018 and April 23 2019, and than I was on and off, for on and off.
"Glad" to meet you again.
Stay safe, and sober.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 237
Hey all I've been MIA but ok. Worked off and on this weekend. I actually thought I kicked the cravings. But tough day. I had gotten into mid day midweek drinking so that would be right about now lol.
Hanging on to I want to jog tomorrow and I cant jog hung over.
Hanging on to I want to jog tomorrow and I cant jog hung over.
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