soberbythesea

Briansy, I do have a really active social life which has been tough for me in the past regarding sobriety. I'm also more of an introvert myself. I've put my foot down with bf that there are certain types of events I won't go to -- a dinner where people are having a glass of wine or two is fine, but not drinks/happy hour/parties where drinking is the only thing going on. As a result, he's usually out with friends on his own 1-2 nights a week, which is fine by me as I get my recharging time.

I also eat out entirely too much, as my weight this morning is reminding me. Ugh. Needless to say living in NYC there's an endless plethora of options, which can be a blessing and a curse.

Day 62. Should be a quiet day at work, I have a long list of things I'm already hoping to accomplish and then tonight we're going to a friend's house for Peking duck with a bunch of people. The host doesn't drink so at least I know there will be some La Croix or other decent nonalcoholic option.

Will check back later

taplow

Hello everybody. I completed my first sober day yesterday. I felt absolutely terrible. This time I was drinking for less than 3 weeks but it seemed to really take it's toll on me. I drank loads in that time. Yesterday's sober day was miserable but also strange, dreamlike.
If I look back over the last 15 months. I reckon 12 of them have been sober ones. If I compare that with the preceding 5 years when I was almost constantly drunk then my current situation isn't quite so bleak.
The last sober period, I started with absolute certainty. My thought was that the act of drinking was a complete impossiblity so that I wouldn't get into a tangled maze of mixed metaphors. I didn't want to get into some internal wrangling, fighting the urge. It was "I don't drink" and not "I'm going to try not to drink." This time I know that it's there lurking for me in some dark alleyway when I'm least expecting so it seems far more difficult.
Sadly I won't be able to be sober for the whole year as I missed New Year's Day. Moderate drinking isn't good for me either. The intention doesn't last long. The weekends extend and merge together.
Over the next few days I'm going to eat lots of bad things - pizzas and chips etc - to help me get a sober run started. Like others here I'm a vegetarian - 15 years now.
Anyway, that's where I am. I hope you're all doing well.

Best wishes everybody.

Briansy

Good stuff, Taplow. Yeah, eating junk to get the run going is what I usually do. The first proper run at Sobriety I did the opposite as my anxiety was so high that I barely are anything at all. I lost loads of weight and looked amazing after a month!!! That was 16 months ago - various ups and downs between then and now. Feels more stable now though. I think we all have to go through a long adjustment period. People who get it in one go are very rare but apparently vocal.

Glad you have a full day behind you and are in to day 2. Stay with it!

I had a vegan burger from KFC for lunch. Not terrible but largely garbage food!

soberbythesea

Tap, I'm so glad to hear you completed day 1.

Re: lurking in alleyways. Yes, this thing can hit out of nowhere. On the other hand, I really think it's possible to achieve that certainty again if you get clear on why you want this. I went back to drinking after over four years of sobriety, and it took me a while to trust myself again, but now I do. I believe this is it for me. At the same time, I know that part of that is staying vigilant and putting the work in to stay sober every day. I'm not an AA person but I agree with them that this problem is "cunning, baffling and powerful." We can't just beat it into submission and lock it in a closet, it will rear its ugly head again. I think the real solutions are a lot more complicated than that.

venuscat

So glad to see you tap. s ❤️

venuscat

Love and good morning dear SBTS. s

This is just gold love. ❤️❤️

Outonthetiles

Congrats on day 1, tap. You can do this.

soberbythesea

Quiet in here today. All ok? Or maybe it's just that yesterday was super active lol.

Heading home in less than an hour to try to grab a few minutes to myself before this Peking duck dinner with bf's friends tonight. Then tomorrow we are meeting bf's parents at 10 am at Home Depot to pick out stuff for the ongoing renovation of his (soon to be our) apartment. Why are they involved in this, you ask? Well, they helped him financially with buying the apartment (by giving him a loan which he's since mostly paid back), and even though they live on the opposite coast, they have been heavily involved in the renovation. His dad is now here basically supervising the contractor until late January. I think the answer is that bf is very busy and having his parents involved makes things easier for him, so he just lets them do their thing. I do kind of wonder how that's going to be for us moving forward, but in the meantime, we're all meeting at Home Depot tomorrow morning to spend hours together picking out stoves and tiles, then we have a family dinner starting at 4 pm at his aunt and uncle's house.

I can't complain because I'm happy that I'm involved in picking out the apartment stuff and happy to be included in the dinner of course, but... bleh. I'm so tired from the week. I really wish I could get out of at least one of these things sometimes. I haven't had much time to myself since he was out with his friend Monday night and now it's Friday. It's all part of adjusting to living together, I suppose. On Sunday I expect I'll have more time alone since he normally works on Sundays.

See everyone later. x

Briansy

SBTS that sounds like tough going!! Conversely I've got all this time on my hands and I'm just trying to do my best to not go near any situations that I deem stressful. Granted it's not that fulfilling but for now I'm good with it. This figuring out a new way of approaching life stuff is tricky when you're adding stuff and not looking to take it away!

Briansy

PS take a pic of the Peking Duck!

Outonthetiles

Quiet here. Reconnected with my riding trainer, going to start again on Saturday.
Picked up a new client today.
Working on a reply document to file before 5 p.m.
Client calling in about an hour to gripe about stuff I have nothing to do with.
Paid some bills.
Life is better sober!

venuscat

Why is it not that fulfilling dear Briansy? s xx

Took a break today and did lots of me stuff, so I haven't been around.
I think we should PM dear SBTS, and I can help you with your in laws to be going forward..... If you like that is. I certainly have major insights here.

Awesome stuff Tiles....bet it all feels good.

soberbythesea

Haha Venus, I don't know if they are my in-laws-to-be. Though they are certainly the closest thing I can ever imagine having again. If this partnership doesn't work out, right on the heels of my failed marriage, I'm taking myself off the dating grid forever. Either way, I welcome any and all insights

Dee74

welcome back Taplow.

I started in April 2007 so I didn't have a full year b y Jan 1 either. So what?
Everyday sober really is its own reward.

D

Willow00

I’m glad to see you back Tap

It’s 9.30am here Saturday morning, so while you guys were having a quiet day, I was in bed trying to sleep. With varying success. I tossed and turned and had weird dreams in between. My mind goes crazy places in my sleep sometimes! Woke up feeling a bit disjointed, so I’m off for a walk soon to clear my head

Willow00

So I’m thinking it’s been a quiet day here, because now it’s 7.30pm and I’m in bed early. Had a really weird kind of day, just felt anxious and unsettled and overwhelmed today about everything, but I decided to go to bed early and hopefully get a good sleep tonight. I think that when I’m tired from not sleeping, I feel less able to deal with things. Anyway, goodnight from here. I hope you have a good day in other parts of the world

venuscat

Seems to be a lot of Aussies in the December class thread, but I guess time zones mean it is a bit quiet in this thread for you love.....huge hugs, hope you are having a wonderful sleep. xx s ❤️

Outonthetiles

New client talked until 6;20 on a Friday night. Well, that's self employment, got to do what it takes. Anyway, she's on board and I think it will be a good case.
Off of the gym.
7 a.m. on the west coast.

venuscat

Awesome tiles. s xx

Briansy

never mind...