Class of April 2018 Part 10
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 34
Hope everyone has been doing well. Still hanging in there. Had about 4 good days last week. I still feel ok but not back to normal. My anxiety has been lingering for quite some time. Makes me wonder if I知 going to have to take medication. I知 against meds and do not like to take anything unless I have to. Just hoping it goes away eventually, I致e been fighting for so long and I知 not one to give up or give in. Just wondering if anyone else still battles with anxiety frequently and what helps them? I just feel like the rest of my symptoms would be less severe if I learned how to manage my anxiety better. I have been meaning to get on here but have been busy with work. Hope everyone is doing well and staying clean
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Hi Aprils, Just doing my usual pre bed check in and out. I hope you've all had a good day. xx
Update on the bullying situation. The headteacher phoned my daughter, apologised profusely, the boys concerned are excluded from going on the residential trip, Wed, Thur, Fri this week and a meeting is to be held in school with the parents. There were no incidents today and no nasty comments or dirty looks. Phew, please God the rest of the week goes smoothly. The school closes on Friday for 2 weeks, so hopefully things will have settled down by the time the children return.
Suzy, I'm glad you met your sponsor for coffee and a chat. Completing step 4 with her is a good idea, it should put a stop to any bad feelings on her side. Did you manage to get your garden furniture up? We've just sent for a new garden bench, hopefully it will come tomorrow.
Hi Erratic and thank you for your kind words, it means a lot. I read all of your post lovely lady and I just want to say that I don't find what you wrote to be either negative or cr*p, in fact I think it is possibly the longest post you've ever written on here and just the fact that you have shared all that about your appointment today and your family and not deleting it all shows that you are beginning to change your way of thinking, slowly but surely. What happened to you didn't happen overnight and your recovery won't happen overnight either. You are very hard on yourself.
I was wondering if you would think about posting on the gratitude threads, I post every morning on the 'morning gratitude' and every evening in the 'bedtime gratitude.' You don't have to post war and peace but gratitude has helped me a lot in staying sober, there is always, always something to be grateful for and writing it down helps me to stay positive, it really does.
I'm sorry about what happened in the past with your sister and her family, but the past needs to stay in the past, you can't change what has happened, you can only learn from it and move on. You know we have your back. xxxx
See you in the morrow.
xxxxx
Update on the bullying situation. The headteacher phoned my daughter, apologised profusely, the boys concerned are excluded from going on the residential trip, Wed, Thur, Fri this week and a meeting is to be held in school with the parents. There were no incidents today and no nasty comments or dirty looks. Phew, please God the rest of the week goes smoothly. The school closes on Friday for 2 weeks, so hopefully things will have settled down by the time the children return.
Suzy, I'm glad you met your sponsor for coffee and a chat. Completing step 4 with her is a good idea, it should put a stop to any bad feelings on her side. Did you manage to get your garden furniture up? We've just sent for a new garden bench, hopefully it will come tomorrow.
Hi Erratic and thank you for your kind words, it means a lot. I read all of your post lovely lady and I just want to say that I don't find what you wrote to be either negative or cr*p, in fact I think it is possibly the longest post you've ever written on here and just the fact that you have shared all that about your appointment today and your family and not deleting it all shows that you are beginning to change your way of thinking, slowly but surely. What happened to you didn't happen overnight and your recovery won't happen overnight either. You are very hard on yourself.
I was wondering if you would think about posting on the gratitude threads, I post every morning on the 'morning gratitude' and every evening in the 'bedtime gratitude.' You don't have to post war and peace but gratitude has helped me a lot in staying sober, there is always, always something to be grateful for and writing it down helps me to stay positive, it really does.
I'm sorry about what happened in the past with your sister and her family, but the past needs to stay in the past, you can't change what has happened, you can only learn from it and move on. You know we have your back. xxxx
See you in the morrow.
xxxxx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Hi Matthew, we must have crossed posts earlier, lovely to see you checking in here again. I'm sorry to read that you are still suffering with anxiety and I hope it passes soon. I myself don't suffer too badly with anxiety, just the occasional bout, but I'm pretty sure that the others do and will advise you soon. xx
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi Matthew 
I have always been anxious so I had to factor that into my recovery.
All I can tell you is the longer I'm sober the less my anxiety is - it will probably never go away but it's not the crippling thing it was.
I had a little counselling help in the beginning but a lot of the change has come from me simply facing problems and fixing them., and having support and using it.
I think reaching my 50s is a factor too - I'm less inclined to worry about what people think of me these days & and I don't need everyone to like me anymore
Glad it looks like they have the situation in had at school DB
Erratic - I always look for your posts It took me a while to deal with all my baggage but it does get easier in time, I promise
Have a good rest Snitch
sounds like a good ride Vipe - you must be feeling better
D
I have always been anxious so I had to factor that into my recovery.
All I can tell you is the longer I'm sober the less my anxiety is - it will probably never go away but it's not the crippling thing it was.
I had a little counselling help in the beginning but a lot of the change has come from me simply facing problems and fixing them., and having support and using it.
I think reaching my 50s is a factor too - I'm less inclined to worry about what people think of me these days & and I don't need everyone to like me anymore
Glad it looks like they have the situation in had at school DB
Erratic - I always look for your posts
It took me a while to deal with all my baggage but it does get easier in time, I promise Have a good rest Snitch
sounds like a good ride Vipe - you must be feeling better
D
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
morn all x
mathew its good to see u and do understand about the anxiety and u are doing good in hanging on with trying also x hope to see u back x
daisy glad things were better yesterday for no 1 gson, and will be interesting how that meeting with the other parents go as u know what people are like. so i hope that the school keeps to there word and keeps them still excluded from trip and things will be forgotten over the hols, as we know kids even though can be nasty can also have short memories xx so fingers crossed for the rest of this week that all things go smoothly for him. x
also special thanks to u daisy and dee for your reply to my post and daisy i have actually been looking around more on the forum again and the gratitude thread seems appropriate i think on keeping me focused on the positive and and in the day. dee ur comment also made me uplifted this morning x
i had sober day yesterday, today i will keep it in the day my thinking as much as possible.
Oh yesterday something funny happened in the evening i was smoking outside and hub was in garden with dog and my youngest nephew walked past so wierd that as from sunday i was worried about him and he isnt looking to bad but not great. we just said u know where we are. right thats yesterday out of the way! xx
see u all later will be back later xx
mathew its good to see u and do understand about the anxiety and u are doing good in hanging on with trying also x hope to see u back x
daisy glad things were better yesterday for no 1 gson, and will be interesting how that meeting with the other parents go as u know what people are like. so i hope that the school keeps to there word and keeps them still excluded from trip and things will be forgotten over the hols, as we know kids even though can be nasty can also have short memories xx so fingers crossed for the rest of this week that all things go smoothly for him. x
also special thanks to u daisy and dee for your reply to my post and daisy i have actually been looking around more on the forum again and the gratitude thread seems appropriate i think on keeping me focused on the positive and and in the day. dee ur comment also made me uplifted this morning x
i had sober day yesterday, today i will keep it in the day my thinking as much as possible.
Oh yesterday something funny happened in the evening i was smoking outside and hub was in garden with dog and my youngest nephew walked past so wierd that as from sunday i was worried about him and he isnt looking to bad but not great. we just said u know where we are. right thats yesterday out of the way! xx
see u all later will be back later xx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Good morning all
I hope you're all well, I'm just back from doing my morning running about, I've stuck a load in the washing machine, sorted the breakfast dishes out, washed Lulu cats dishes and fed her and now I'm sitting down with a coffee for half an hour.
Matthew, my post to you was a bit short last night, I was very tired so please excuse me. What I should have said was that I do suffer from bouts of anxiety, in particular when my wayward son is on one of his destruction missions, but at this moment in time I'm in a good place, I'm fine, calm and quite relaxed. That's today, tomorrow could be a different story. I have had medication in the past for anxiety, on a temporary basis, but not for a good while now. I'm learning to ride the waves as they say. As per Dee, I don't care what people think or say about me, that's their business, I know I'm a good person, I've done some stupid things in the past, but that's in the past.
It may be worth having a chat with your doctor about your issues, what have you got to lose, I don't like taking medication either, but it doesn't have to be a permanent solution. What do you do with yourself when you aren't working? What hobbies do you have, what are you into? Gardening is my therapy, just getting out there in the fresh air and being at one with nature. Keeping busy really helps me, it gives me less time to dwell on my shortcomings.
Could you possible post here more, then maybe we can help you more?
Thanks Erratic, the school will keep their word regarding the residential trip, there is no doubt about that. I'll be interested to know what is said at the meeting, I'll keep you posted when I find out.
I shall look out for you on the gratitude threads, though there are quite a few of them, I just stick to the morning and bedtime one, otherwise I'd be here all day.
You said the right thing to you nephew, at least he knows you are there for him if he needs you.
Thanks Dee, the school are taking the bullying incident very seriously, I'm glad to say.
See you all later, stay safe and sober. xx
I hope you're all well, I'm just back from doing my morning running about, I've stuck a load in the washing machine, sorted the breakfast dishes out, washed Lulu cats dishes and fed her and now I'm sitting down with a coffee for half an hour.
Matthew, my post to you was a bit short last night, I was very tired so please excuse me. What I should have said was that I do suffer from bouts of anxiety, in particular when my wayward son is on one of his destruction missions, but at this moment in time I'm in a good place, I'm fine, calm and quite relaxed. That's today, tomorrow could be a different story. I have had medication in the past for anxiety, on a temporary basis, but not for a good while now. I'm learning to ride the waves as they say. As per Dee, I don't care what people think or say about me, that's their business, I know I'm a good person, I've done some stupid things in the past, but that's in the past.
It may be worth having a chat with your doctor about your issues, what have you got to lose, I don't like taking medication either, but it doesn't have to be a permanent solution. What do you do with yourself when you aren't working? What hobbies do you have, what are you into? Gardening is my therapy, just getting out there in the fresh air and being at one with nature. Keeping busy really helps me, it gives me less time to dwell on my shortcomings.
Could you possible post here more, then maybe we can help you more?
Thanks Erratic, the school will keep their word regarding the residential trip, there is no doubt about that. I'll be interested to know what is said at the meeting, I'll keep you posted when I find out.
I shall look out for you on the gratitude threads, though there are quite a few of them, I just stick to the morning and bedtime one, otherwise I'd be here all day.
You said the right thing to you nephew, at least he knows you are there for him if he needs you.
Thanks Dee, the school are taking the bullying incident very seriously, I'm glad to say.
See you all later, stay safe and sober. xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Hi all
Well done for sharing Erratic. It's good to get all those thoughts out. Otherwise they just go round and round in the head! Just come here and share share share!
Hi Matthew. I get anxious sometimes which I think is normal? Whatever normal is lol. But I dont really suffer from anxiety as such. You are doing an amazing job and as we know alcohol only makes anxiety worse ugh!
Ahhh Daisy, good to hear the school is taking action. Maybe this will just blow right over? I really hope so for your grand son's sake 🙏🙏
Today I managed to get all my new garden furniture up. Feel quite proud of myself. I have so many jobs to do but I have to take them one job, one day at a time. There is only one of me and I cant get everything all done in one day. And that's ok.
I'm still feeling confused about my sponsor, about AA and about my life. But again, am taking things one day at a time. I'm sure everything will all work out. As long as I don't pick up a drink everything will be ok!
Night all x x
Well done for sharing Erratic. It's good to get all those thoughts out. Otherwise they just go round and round in the head! Just come here and share share share!
Hi Matthew. I get anxious sometimes which I think is normal? Whatever normal is lol. But I dont really suffer from anxiety as such. You are doing an amazing job and as we know alcohol only makes anxiety worse ugh!
Ahhh Daisy, good to hear the school is taking action. Maybe this will just blow right over? I really hope so for your grand son's sake 🙏🙏
Today I managed to get all my new garden furniture up. Feel quite proud of myself. I have so many jobs to do but I have to take them one job, one day at a time. There is only one of me and I cant get everything all done in one day. And that's ok.
I'm still feeling confused about my sponsor, about AA and about my life. But again, am taking things one day at a time. I'm sure everything will all work out. As long as I don't pick up a drink everything will be ok!
Night all x x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Thanks Suze, I hope it all blows over too, ,the school breaks up on Friday for 2 weeks so hopefully....
Well done for tackling your garden furniture and getting it up and yes you can only do what you can do.
Try not to worry too much about your sponsor, things always have a way of working out, you'll see.
I'm off to bed now, so goodnight all. xx
Well done for tackling your garden furniture and getting it up and yes you can only do what you can do.
Try not to worry too much about your sponsor, things always have a way of working out, you'll see.
I'm off to bed now, so goodnight all. xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Omg the child above me has only just stopped screaming. It's been going on for about an hour. I am really trying to be compassionate but it is hard although what can I do? It was a beautiful day here yesterday but as soon as I walked in the door I could hear them upstairs. She just doesnt seem to take him out and he is stuck in a one bedroom flat all day with no garden and all the windows down and the curtains drawn except the kitchen window which is where she always is, smoking, which overlooks my garden! I am trying to see the positive side. She is quite sweet and doesnt play loud music or have parties and loads of people over. It could be worse I suppose. It's just I have lived here 10 years and never experienced anything like this. Luckily we do spend alot of our time out and about plus I am away with work alot. Rant over!
I am meeting with my sponsor for coffee today. I am going to tell her I dont want to continue sponsorship. So, I have written my step 4 which has made me feel better as I can see where I have been selfish, self seeking, dishonest and afraid. The next step is step 5 where I read it all through with her and the bottom line is I dont feel comfortable doing that now. In AA they say this is VITAL to staying sober and If you dont do it you'll relapse etc etc. But I dont believe that. There are plenty of people here not in AA who are sober and there are plenty of people in AA who have done all the steps who have relapsed. The thing is, I have a year of sobriety now and I am figuring out who the real snitch is and what snitch wants. I am more than capable of making my own decisions and changing my thinking. I dont want to drink. I am never going to drink again one day at a time. I want to live! So I am just trying to figure out what is best for ME. I am not quitting AA. It saved my life I will always be grateful, plus I love the spiritual part of the programme and lots of people have strong messages there. But at this moment in time I dont feel I want nor need to read through all my wrongs with my sponsor and one of the main reasons is because of how she reacted to me over the situation with my neighbour. She doesnt have to agree with me on stuff but she let her opinions rule her and I dont need her opinions. I need her experience strength and hope getting through the steps. The trust has gone now and I dont want to share intimate things about my life with her.
So that's where I am at. You know me, i will probably change my mind tomorrow Haha. No, i have thought about it alot and prayed and I feel like I am doing the right thing.
Soooooo, nearly time to get munchkin up for school. Workout for me then (it feels great to be working out again!) then I am going to pop to homebase to buy paint for my shed. It's a rock n roll life here lol
Have a good day everyone.
I am meeting with my sponsor for coffee today. I am going to tell her I dont want to continue sponsorship. So, I have written my step 4 which has made me feel better as I can see where I have been selfish, self seeking, dishonest and afraid. The next step is step 5 where I read it all through with her and the bottom line is I dont feel comfortable doing that now. In AA they say this is VITAL to staying sober and If you dont do it you'll relapse etc etc. But I dont believe that. There are plenty of people here not in AA who are sober and there are plenty of people in AA who have done all the steps who have relapsed. The thing is, I have a year of sobriety now and I am figuring out who the real snitch is and what snitch wants. I am more than capable of making my own decisions and changing my thinking. I dont want to drink. I am never going to drink again one day at a time. I want to live! So I am just trying to figure out what is best for ME. I am not quitting AA. It saved my life I will always be grateful, plus I love the spiritual part of the programme and lots of people have strong messages there. But at this moment in time I dont feel I want nor need to read through all my wrongs with my sponsor and one of the main reasons is because of how she reacted to me over the situation with my neighbour. She doesnt have to agree with me on stuff but she let her opinions rule her and I dont need her opinions. I need her experience strength and hope getting through the steps. The trust has gone now and I dont want to share intimate things about my life with her.
So that's where I am at. You know me, i will probably change my mind tomorrow Haha. No, i have thought about it alot and prayed and I feel like I am doing the right thing.
Soooooo, nearly time to get munchkin up for school. Workout for me then (it feels great to be working out again!) then I am going to pop to homebase to buy paint for my shed. It's a rock n roll life here lol
Have a good day everyone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Good morning Aprils, I hope you're all having a good day. I'm back from doing all my usual morning stuff, having a coffee and a peruse now. I should be doing some housework really, but it will still be there later unless the cleaning fairy surprises me.
Arghhh Suzy, how frustrating, all that noise first thing in a morning, not the best start to the day at all. I do feel sorry for that poor child, does she not take him to a mums and tots group or playgroup or whatever?
I hope all goes well with your sponsor today, but you haven't been happy with her for a while really and like you said ending your sponsorship with her doesn't stop you from going to A.A and there's nothing to stop you from getting another sponsor in the future if you do change your mind. As long as you put your sobriety first, I don't think it matters how you do it, just as long as it's not alone, we all need support of some kind.
I'll check in again later, much love to you all. xxx
Arghhh Suzy, how frustrating, all that noise first thing in a morning, not the best start to the day at all. I do feel sorry for that poor child, does she not take him to a mums and tots group or playgroup or whatever?
I hope all goes well with your sponsor today, but you haven't been happy with her for a while really and like you said ending your sponsorship with her doesn't stop you from going to A.A and there's nothing to stop you from getting another sponsor in the future if you do change your mind. As long as you put your sobriety first, I don't think it matters how you do it, just as long as it's not alone, we all need support of some kind.
I'll check in again later, much love to you all. xxx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Mathew, it痴 good to see you! I take meds but wish I never had. I had to at a certain point and that was it. Now I知 on several. I hope sobriety will allow me to stop.
What I can say about anxiety is that it is coming from a deep place inside you. Childhood stuff, who knows. You can work to remove that toxic load from yourself and get your freedom from it. I知 learning to recognize the mechanisms in me, how they work and how I can minimize them, while at the same time, closing in on a giant Kraken hiding in a cave 5000 feet under the sea. The damn thing keeping rising up and dragging me under. It can totally paralyze me mentally and physically. It happens a lot. I知 terrified of the thing. I hoping to blow the F-Er up or get it on the run. Draw it onto dry land and put some bullets in it so it gets the point.
Exercise is huge for anxiety. Meditation. And mindfulness activities like Yoga or gardening or whatever. You need to get out of your head. I知 not really doing those things 😐. I did buy a nice Motocycle and I知 learning to ride and it痴 helping me for sure.
All the best
V 🔥🐍🔥
What I can say about anxiety is that it is coming from a deep place inside you. Childhood stuff, who knows. You can work to remove that toxic load from yourself and get your freedom from it. I知 learning to recognize the mechanisms in me, how they work and how I can minimize them, while at the same time, closing in on a giant Kraken hiding in a cave 5000 feet under the sea. The damn thing keeping rising up and dragging me under. It can totally paralyze me mentally and physically. It happens a lot. I知 terrified of the thing. I hoping to blow the F-Er up or get it on the run. Draw it onto dry land and put some bullets in it so it gets the point.
Exercise is huge for anxiety. Meditation. And mindfulness activities like Yoga or gardening or whatever. You need to get out of your head. I知 not really doing those things 😐. I did buy a nice Motocycle and I知 learning to ride and it痴 helping me for sure.
All the best
V 🔥🐍🔥
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Awww lovely post Vipe.
In bed! So, inwont bore you with all the details, I'll keep it short n sweet. Huge heart to heart with my sponsor. Am sticking with her. Staying in AA. I've accepted that I have the sober condition of alcoholism. The ism so to speak. (I, Self, Me) and that the only solution for me is a spiritual one. I have been fighting it and fighting it, I've been worried that I am being brainwashed etc but after today I truly believe it is the solution to the malady I have and I feel peace this evening. I haven't felt that for a while. I have ceased fighting. Not only alcohol, but everything!
Grateful to be going to bed sober tonight. A young girl from my group has relapsed. No one can get hold of her but her partner told her sponsor he has taken their son. I am praying for her. She had 2 years sobriety, relapsed and ended up in hospital and had a few months and gone again. I am an alcoholic and I accept that today and I have to do whatever it takes to ensure I live a happy, sober life.
So there we go.
I hope everyone else is good!!!!!
Lots of love and worry for my madness! Lol
In bed! So, inwont bore you with all the details, I'll keep it short n sweet. Huge heart to heart with my sponsor. Am sticking with her. Staying in AA. I've accepted that I have the sober condition of alcoholism. The ism so to speak. (I, Self, Me) and that the only solution for me is a spiritual one. I have been fighting it and fighting it, I've been worried that I am being brainwashed etc but after today I truly believe it is the solution to the malady I have and I feel peace this evening. I haven't felt that for a while. I have ceased fighting. Not only alcohol, but everything!
Grateful to be going to bed sober tonight. A young girl from my group has relapsed. No one can get hold of her but her partner told her sponsor he has taken their son. I am praying for her. She had 2 years sobriety, relapsed and ended up in hospital and had a few months and gone again. I am an alcoholic and I accept that today and I have to do whatever it takes to ensure I live a happy, sober life.
So there we go.
I hope everyone else is good!!!!!
Lots of love and worry for my madness! Lol
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Bedtime check in so I'll keep it short and sweet too as I'm very tired.
That's a very thoughtful and meaningful post Viper, you have such an amazing way with words.
I guess you'll be feeling relieved Suze for having that heart to heart and getting it all off your chest. When I hear or read about those who have relapsed it brings it home to me how fragile we really are. I'm just one drink away from being back to exactly where I was 13.5 months ago, I can't go back there! I am so lucky to have been given this chance, I'm grabbing hold of it with both hands and hanging onto it like grim death.
With that I'm off to bed. Good night all, sleep well. xxx
That's a very thoughtful and meaningful post Viper, you have such an amazing way with words.
I guess you'll be feeling relieved Suze for having that heart to heart and getting it all off your chest. When I hear or read about those who have relapsed it brings it home to me how fragile we really are. I'm just one drink away from being back to exactly where I was 13.5 months ago, I can't go back there! I am so lucky to have been given this chance, I'm grabbing hold of it with both hands and hanging onto it like grim death.
With that I'm off to bed. Good night all, sleep well. xxx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
You are so right Daisy. I dont want to love my life in constant fear of alcohol but they say it is good to have a healthy fear in AA. we recoil from liquor like a hot flame. I knownhow my kind works and I realised I do need AA as my mind one day may tell me it is ok to have a drink it is not.
I feel more settled this morning and st peace with my decision I signed up online last night **** yoga studio near me, unlimited classes in 30 days. I've done a few classes before but I am a real beginner and I want something to stretch this old body out and calm the mind. Will go to my first class tomorrow as today I am off to get a tattoo! Just a little one on my ankle. Oh and a new ear piercing!!
I need to get a new tablet too so I can post photos on here!
Ahhh the birds are chirping outside its only 5am but it's good to wake up hangover free no matter what time it is. 😀😀😀
I feel more settled this morning and st peace with my decision I signed up online last night **** yoga studio near me, unlimited classes in 30 days. I've done a few classes before but I am a real beginner and I want something to stretch this old body out and calm the mind. Will go to my first class tomorrow as today I am off to get a tattoo! Just a little one on my ankle. Oh and a new ear piercing!!
I need to get a new tablet too so I can post photos on here!
Ahhh the birds are chirping outside its only 5am but it's good to wake up hangover free no matter what time it is. 😀😀😀
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Good morning all, hope you're all well, happy and sober. I'm just sat in the car outside school, we're mega early this morning and I don't have my mum with me as I'm going to the dentist's from here. She usually comes on the school run with me, then I drop her in town. The children are playing on the school field, I can see them from where I am, once the classroom doors open I'll go and make sure they've all gone in.
I'm glad you're feeling more settled Suze. What tattoo are you having? O hope it doesn't hurt too much.
See you all later, have the best Friday you can. Lots of love to you all. 💙💚💜
I'm glad you're feeling more settled Suze. What tattoo are you having? O hope it doesn't hurt too much.
See you all later, have the best Friday you can. Lots of love to you all. 💙💚💜
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Good afternoon Aprils, I hope you're all busy doing something good. I've not got much time today as I'm dashing off shortly to school for sports day and the summer fayre. Wishing you all the best Friday possible. xxxx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Good evening peeps.
Well, what can I say? The last 2 days have been TOUGH. I have been white knuckling for sure. I have had so many uncomfortable feelings and it seemed to me the only way to escape from them was to have a drink! However, I am under no illusion I can drink safely or moderately so I knew I couldn't do it. But the obsession was starting to creep in. And I feel this evening I am turning a corner. Thank God.
I have booked me and Seren to go away for 5 nights to Spain on Tuesday. I just thought I need to get away, have a break from everything. I found a hotel with an amazing pool and on a lovely beach, it is great for kids with pool slides and a kids club and is All Inclusive because I dont want to mess around with eating out. I just want it all in one place. Oh by the way, the all inclusive drinks part of it doesnt bother me at all!!! I have zero desire (at this point in time) to be drinking on holiday. I just want a change of scenery, a break from the norm, some sun and sand and rest and relaxation! I realise that the urge to drink was on me because I didnt want to feel how I was feeling. But all feelings pass. Good and bad.
Everytime I (we) get through stuff like this sober it just builds more sober muscles to deal with my feelings in the future. I am grateful to be at home sober tonight for sure.
I've put clean sheets on and dont think can keep my eyes open much longer!
Hope everyone is good?
Happy weekend!
Well, what can I say? The last 2 days have been TOUGH. I have been white knuckling for sure. I have had so many uncomfortable feelings and it seemed to me the only way to escape from them was to have a drink! However, I am under no illusion I can drink safely or moderately so I knew I couldn't do it. But the obsession was starting to creep in. And I feel this evening I am turning a corner. Thank God.
I have booked me and Seren to go away for 5 nights to Spain on Tuesday. I just thought I need to get away, have a break from everything. I found a hotel with an amazing pool and on a lovely beach, it is great for kids with pool slides and a kids club and is All Inclusive because I dont want to mess around with eating out. I just want it all in one place. Oh by the way, the all inclusive drinks part of it doesnt bother me at all!!! I have zero desire (at this point in time) to be drinking on holiday. I just want a change of scenery, a break from the norm, some sun and sand and rest and relaxation! I realise that the urge to drink was on me because I didnt want to feel how I was feeling. But all feelings pass. Good and bad.
Everytime I (we) get through stuff like this sober it just builds more sober muscles to deal with my feelings in the future. I am grateful to be at home sober tonight for sure.
I've put clean sheets on and dont think can keep my eyes open much longer!
Hope everyone is good?
Happy weekend!
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