Class of January 2019 part 3
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 1,055
Welcome back, Alice. I'm sorry you're going through this terrible first days, but I'm glad you've made it back. Thank you for the warning or reminder of what relapse can do to us. Awful stuff.
listae, I'm glad you made it through that craving. Close call, but you did it. Building sober muscles; good job.
Congrats to all of you for making it this far. This is quite a road. I'm kinda of blah again today so I don't have much to say. We are cooped up and I'm going nuts in the house. Thankful to have a working furnace.
Love to all and a good night.
listae, I'm glad you made it through that craving. Close call, but you did it. Building sober muscles; good job.
Congrats to all of you for making it this far. This is quite a road. I'm kinda of blah again today so I don't have much to say. We are cooped up and I'm going nuts in the house. Thankful to have a working furnace.
Love to all and a good night.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 987
Thanks Quit4Now: I'm still reeling from the almost "slip." But this saying is really true: "you never regret not picking up a drink." (Something like that.) Anyway, since I am dealing with deep feelings of regret, drinking over regret would have been a critical mistake. I would have compounded regret over drinking again with all my other regret. But it was close and I was scared about how the compulsion to pick up suddenly invaded my brain and by the forcefulness of the urge.
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Posts: 211,445
Just to re-iterate...
We'll move this thread at the end of the month so that the new monthly thread (February 2019) can take its place here in Newcomers forum.
This thread stays intact, but moves to the Daily Support forum.
Some members, especially those struggling, may prefer to move to February, but there's no rule about that at all - stay here, move, or post in both - it's really up to you
I wanted to let everyone know you're all very welcome to keep posting in this thread.
It will keep going
Dee
Moderator
SR
We'll move this thread at the end of the month so that the new monthly thread (February 2019) can take its place here in Newcomers forum.
This thread stays intact, but moves to the Daily Support forum.
Some members, especially those struggling, may prefer to move to February, but there's no rule about that at all - stay here, move, or post in both - it's really up to you
I wanted to let everyone know you're all very welcome to keep posting in this thread.
It will keep going
Dee
Moderator
SR
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Day 31
Alice - it’s great to hear from you. I’m sad that you drank again and that it gave you the hangover from hell but thank you for posting it up as a warning. Yes I suppose my life is full of stuff to do (when you put it like that) and the thought of you being lonelier by way of comparison really made me sad. It serves as a reminder to me how selfish I can be in not seeing things as blessings and opportunities as opposed to curses. I so much wish to just be left all alone at times - and it seems you wish for more interaction? I wonder if we all want what we don’t have as part of the natural human psyche? If we are drunk we want to be sober? If we are sober we wish we could drink? If we have a complicated job we wish for simplicity? If we have a dull job we crave more issues to sort? LOL - high powered business people going on trips to wear hessian sacks and sing in the woods all weekend barefoot comes to mind.... Anyhow Alice... thanks for being here if only briefly from the beloved Augustonians. Say hello to them from me.
I don’t know what else to write really? Last day of January. I’m 13 pounds lighter. I’ve been to the gym every day except four in the whole month. I’m stronger, fitter, healthier and more energetic. I’m richer. My wife is happier (much, much happier). I don’t want to drink.... but I don’t want to not drink (if that makes sense?) I know tomorrow won’t be a trigger as I have got really big things to do all day on Saturday, which means I’ll get over the hump of Friday night and the stuff to do SHOULD see me circumnavigate Saturday too. I’ve had that scenario playing out in my head for a couple of weeks now.
But after Dry January is gone and the weekend is over safely then I almost feel like I’m stepping into completely unplanned territory? I’m not sure what happens then and how I resist any triggers? I know I’m still massively vulnerable going into this time despite the fact that drinking ANY alcohol would make no sense whatsoever. It would give me nothing but a headache, regret, depression and most likely a period of rotten overall existence and a very upset wife.
So why do I feel so....... I don’t know..... uncertain what will happen? It should be a ‘no brainer’ shouldn’t it?
Love and Support
JT
Alice - it’s great to hear from you. I’m sad that you drank again and that it gave you the hangover from hell but thank you for posting it up as a warning. Yes I suppose my life is full of stuff to do (when you put it like that) and the thought of you being lonelier by way of comparison really made me sad. It serves as a reminder to me how selfish I can be in not seeing things as blessings and opportunities as opposed to curses. I so much wish to just be left all alone at times - and it seems you wish for more interaction? I wonder if we all want what we don’t have as part of the natural human psyche? If we are drunk we want to be sober? If we are sober we wish we could drink? If we have a complicated job we wish for simplicity? If we have a dull job we crave more issues to sort? LOL - high powered business people going on trips to wear hessian sacks and sing in the woods all weekend barefoot comes to mind.... Anyhow Alice... thanks for being here if only briefly from the beloved Augustonians. Say hello to them from me.
I don’t know what else to write really? Last day of January. I’m 13 pounds lighter. I’ve been to the gym every day except four in the whole month. I’m stronger, fitter, healthier and more energetic. I’m richer. My wife is happier (much, much happier). I don’t want to drink.... but I don’t want to not drink (if that makes sense?) I know tomorrow won’t be a trigger as I have got really big things to do all day on Saturday, which means I’ll get over the hump of Friday night and the stuff to do SHOULD see me circumnavigate Saturday too. I’ve had that scenario playing out in my head for a couple of weeks now.
But after Dry January is gone and the weekend is over safely then I almost feel like I’m stepping into completely unplanned territory? I’m not sure what happens then and how I resist any triggers? I know I’m still massively vulnerable going into this time despite the fact that drinking ANY alcohol would make no sense whatsoever. It would give me nothing but a headache, regret, depression and most likely a period of rotten overall existence and a very upset wife.
So why do I feel so....... I don’t know..... uncertain what will happen? It should be a ‘no brainer’ shouldn’t it?
Love and Support
JT
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Morning everyone and thank you for your kind words after my near meltdown of self pity last evening 
Congrats to all of you hitting 30 days today.
Tony- sorry you are still feeling down but great news you didn't drink. I know exactly how you feel as have often felt like that at 30-60 days once the initial euphoria wears off. It does get better though. I had 3.5 years sober once and felt great. I would not have stayed sober if I felt so down the whole time - no one would. My advice would be keep on doing what you keep on doing.
Drinking for years or even months of sobriety then picking up again alters the brain chemistry, as you know. It aint gonna be fully fixed after 30 days.
I hope you all get through tomorrow and the weekend. Maybe just look on it as another day and forget it's a new month.
I feel ill from eating badly. It makes me sleep badly. Like when drinking I sleep badly. It's so true isn't it you are what you eat. I must start to eat better today.
Last day at work for 10 days. It has been a difficult week with lack of focus, I love my job but cant concentrate fully and nearly cried yesterday. So some time off will be good. I work for the government( always feel like a spy/James Bond when I say that although the reality is very boring ) so they have excellent paid compassionate leave for bereavement so that's a weight off my mind. So just to get through today and then relax tomorrow before setting off to family on Saturday.
Have a good day everyone,
RAL
Congrats to all of you hitting 30 days today.
Tony- sorry you are still feeling down but great news you didn't drink. I know exactly how you feel as have often felt like that at 30-60 days once the initial euphoria wears off. It does get better though. I had 3.5 years sober once and felt great. I would not have stayed sober if I felt so down the whole time - no one would. My advice would be keep on doing what you keep on doing.
Drinking for years or even months of sobriety then picking up again alters the brain chemistry, as you know. It aint gonna be fully fixed after 30 days.
I hope you all get through tomorrow and the weekend. Maybe just look on it as another day and forget it's a new month.
I feel ill from eating badly. It makes me sleep badly. Like when drinking I sleep badly. It's so true isn't it you are what you eat. I must start to eat better today.
Last day at work for 10 days. It has been a difficult week with lack of focus, I love my job but cant concentrate fully and nearly cried yesterday. So some time off will be good. I work for the government( always feel like a spy/James Bond
when I say that although the reality is very boring ) so they have excellent paid compassionate leave for bereavement so that's a weight off my mind. So just to get through today and then relax tomorrow before setting off to family on Saturday.Have a good day everyone,
RAL
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
you've resisted every temptation trigger and eff it moment in January Tony - February's no different - or it need not be.
Some in my first week here told me it took them 20 years to walk into the woods - you can't expect to then get out of the woods in a day, a week...or a month.
But the way did get easier. and it didn't take 20 years either.
All I can do is reassure you that not drinking is the way out and the way towards change.
I believe that in my bones
D
Some in my first week here told me it took them 20 years to walk into the woods - you can't expect to then get out of the woods in a day, a week...or a month.
But the way did get easier. and it didn't take 20 years either.
All I can do is reassure you that not drinking is the way out and the way towards change.
I believe that in my bones
D
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 449
Morning
Day 17 here!
Surprisingly still not having any cravings or obsessions! It is going a lot smoother this week than I expected.
Definitely noticing that a lot of struggle comes from looking too far ahead or not questioning snap judgements.
So for instance, if I'm having a down day and feel depressed it is easy to start thinking, 'oh what's the point of I just keep feeling like this'. Or if people feel bad about having cravings and they think it is a flaw in their behalf and start thinking they will never get over it. Yet, it seems gentler on the psyche to just stop and think short-term. That the feeling will eventually pass. It doesn't determine how the rest of your day, week, month or life is going to be like.
And just the obvious evaluation that however you feel, the drink will prolong that not ease it. It soon has diminishing returns and you end up having to pick yourself up again when you really didn't need to.
But we all have our journeys and regardless of how many times people pick a drink up, I still believe they can do it in time. And I won't forget how often I have picked a drink up in the past when I was convinced I wouldnt! So I will never judge anyone for that. I will only support them in trying to get better!
Day 17 here!
Surprisingly still not having any cravings or obsessions! It is going a lot smoother this week than I expected.
Definitely noticing that a lot of struggle comes from looking too far ahead or not questioning snap judgements.
So for instance, if I'm having a down day and feel depressed it is easy to start thinking, 'oh what's the point of I just keep feeling like this'. Or if people feel bad about having cravings and they think it is a flaw in their behalf and start thinking they will never get over it. Yet, it seems gentler on the psyche to just stop and think short-term. That the feeling will eventually pass. It doesn't determine how the rest of your day, week, month or life is going to be like.
And just the obvious evaluation that however you feel, the drink will prolong that not ease it. It soon has diminishing returns and you end up having to pick yourself up again when you really didn't need to.
But we all have our journeys and regardless of how many times people pick a drink up, I still believe they can do it in time. And I won't forget how often I have picked a drink up in the past when I was convinced I wouldnt! So I will never judge anyone for that. I will only support them in trying to get better!
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Originally Posted by ReadyAtLast 
Tony- sorry you are still feeling down but great news you didn't drink. I know exactly how you feel as have often felt like that at 30-60 days once the initial euphoria wears off.
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Originally Posted by JustTony
Thanks RAL - not down as such. Just uncertain what is coming?
I'm trapped in a cycle of staying sober 14-60 days then picking up again. I'm never getting beyond a couple of months but do genuinely believe, and know from past experience, that it does vastly improve.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 543
Made it though January AF. yay! 37 days.
Not sure if i'll make it though Feb. So many things going on. But I know I will not drink today. Looking at February is too hard, so I'm just going to stick to not drinking today. It's been working well thus far.
So on that note, I will not for any reason drink today. Bam!!! take that AV.
Your future self is watching you right now through your memories.
Not sure if i'll make it though Feb. So many things going on. But I know I will not drink today. Looking at February is too hard, so I'm just going to stick to not drinking today. It's been working well thus far.
So on that note, I will not for any reason drink today. Bam!!! take that AV.
Your future self is watching you right now through your memories.
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Originally Posted by Meshelly
Made it though January AF. yay! 37 days.
Not sure if i'll make it though Feb. So many things going on. But I know I will not drink today. Looking at February is too hard, so I'm just going to stick to not drinking today. It's been working well thus far.
So on that note, I will not for any reason drink today. Bam!!! take that AV.
Your future self is watching you right now through your memories.
Not sure if i'll make it though Feb. So many things going on. But I know I will not drink today. Looking at February is too hard, so I'm just going to stick to not drinking today. It's been working well thus far.
So on that note, I will not for any reason drink today. Bam!!! take that AV.
Your future self is watching you right now through your memories.
Well done on you sober days so far.
JT
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 543
Nothing to forgive Tony. You made me think and your right my post does read like that. Im afraid i wont be able to make it. I can already see me drinking and im struggling with it. I don't want to, but i do! But i know i really don't, and i know i'll be sad after. So why does one part of me want to? (I know i don't want to disappoint my husband who likes the drinking me)ughh.. I know i can make it today. But it's easy when you don't have any plans/ social commitments. I'm a social drinker. I can totally go without and not even think about it when i don't have to be entertaining. Maybe i need to rethink. Typing this out is helping me rethink. Maybe I need to quit thinking i need to be entertaining. I'm allowed to just BE. I'm going to think more about this. Thank you so much for making me re-think Tony. Sorry this is a messy post. Just wanted to get this out while it's fresh.
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Originally Posted by Meshelly
Nothing to forgive Tony. You made me think and your right my post does read like that. Im afraid i wont be able to make it. I can already see me drinking and im struggling with it. I don't want to, but i do! But i know i really don't, and i know i'll be sad after. So why does one part of me want to? (I know i don't want to disappoint my husband who likes the drinking me)ughh.. I know i can make it today. But it's easy when you don't have any plans/ social commitments. I'm a social drinker. I can totally go without and not even think about it when i don't have to be entertaining. Maybe i need to rethink. Typing this out is helping me rethink. Maybe I need to quit thinking i need to be entertaining. I'm allowed to just BE. I'm going to think more about this. Thank you so much for making me re-think Tony. Sorry this is a messy post. Just wanted to get this out while it's fresh.
I guess the truth is that I have also been counting the days down to the end of January. I know I should be ok tomorrow and Saturday due to commitments that really shouldn't entail me drinking. But after that I have been worrying for about two weeks now.
In essence - my counsel to you was really a reflection of the internal warnings I'm giving myself.
Best,
JT
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Originally Posted by ReadyAtLast
I really want a drink. i finish work in 1 hour for ten days.
"If I want to drink I can do tomorrow - tonight I will not drink".
Then deal with tomorrow when it comes around RAL?
JT
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Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Texas
Posts: 341
Hi all. Day 2 and it feels like I have a normal hangover now. Still very weak and sick. It just isn't worth it to go backwards. I never got the buzz I was chasing, just a long blackout. I must have fallen because my knees are scraped and bruised. And yesterday was pure hell. Thank you for the advice and words of support. Please don't make the mistake I made.
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