A Different Path Part 14
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Kathy,
Here's one for you:
Dogs letters to God.
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one
another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it going
to be the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a
dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice
ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler
Beagle'?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears
him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals,
whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy
fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to
get in?
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to
apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must
remember to be a good dog:
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it
up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I
like the way they smell!
3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they
are tasty, they are not food.
4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
5. The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps, or the
oriental rugs.
6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's
driver's license and registration.
9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the
toilet.
10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of
saying 'hello.'
11. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the
coffee table.
12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
13. I will not throw up in the car.
14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across
the carpet.
15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch
when company is over.
16. The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes
that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
And, finally my last question;
Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?
__________________
Here's one for you:
Dogs letters to God.
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one
another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it going
to be the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a
dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice
ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler
Beagle'?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears
him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals,
whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy
fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to
get in?
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to
apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must
remember to be a good dog:
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it
up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I
like the way they smell!
3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they
are tasty, they are not food.
4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
5. The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps, or the
oriental rugs.
6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's
driver's license and registration.
9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the
toilet.
10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of
saying 'hello.'
11. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the
coffee table.
12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
13. I will not throw up in the car.
14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across
the carpet.
15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch
when company is over.
16. The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes
that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
And, finally my last question;
Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?
__________________
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,517
Originally Posted by Gilmer 
Since there’s such a huge bandwagon here, maybe we could get a cheap group customization rate and get ourselves an SR-logoed colorful set of compression stockings!
I’m half serious! Sports teams and schools are constantly getting special shirts, etc., made up.
I’m half serious! Sports teams and schools are constantly getting special shirts, etc., made up.
s
waking down
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,641
Originally Posted by Itchy
Kathy,
Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?
__________________[/I][/B]
Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?
__________________[/I][/B]
Thank you,
Zero
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,877
Itchy 
. Thank you; I have tears running down my face. I started howling st the Chrysler Beagle! It got me thinking. How about a Chevy Shitzu or a Toyota Toy Poodle or a Honda Hound Dog or a Nissan Neopolitan Mastiff?
Suze, love the kittens!
As for our customized compression sock, what would be a good logo for a Gilmerite?
. Thank you; I have tears running down my face. I started howling st the Chrysler Beagle! It got me thinking. How about a Chevy Shitzu or a Toyota Toy Poodle or a Honda Hound Dog or a Nissan Neopolitan Mastiff?Suze, love the kittens!
As for our customized compression sock, what would be a good logo for a Gilmerite?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: SF Bay Area, CA
Posts: 33,514
Kathy, You're a trendsetter! Compression hose/socks seem to be all the rage. I think I may get some too, now that I remember how comfortable they were.
As always, prayers, love, and hugs to our girl and all the Gilmerites!
All my love. ♥♥♥
As always, prayers, love, and hugs to our girl and all the Gilmerites!
All my love. ♥♥♥
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