Ayers

Good morning, Sunday am

Hi Bob, wonderful to hear from you. Miss you here in our group.

Thanks , Dee, for having faith in me . And all of you who supported me .

I didn't drink. I came to SR first. Then I went for a stroll in the garden in the dark - paused a while at the pond trying to pinpoint exactly where Kermit was, couldn't find him. Went back in, dumped the wine , made coffee , ate a huge piece of chocolate and settled down with my book.

I just felt let down by myself. Sure , I have had cravings throughout this time, at times none whatsoever, but this was different. It was sudden and immensely strong . Blocked out all reasoning. Just sort of took over my mind. And that's the part that I found very scary.

Anyhow, I tried to talk myself through it by using the advice I would normally give to someone else. Actually we do have the answers, although we feel we don't at that moment.

And in hindsight, it wasn't an ambush. I should have taken notice about the fact that I was so unsettled the whole day. I'm sure that was my warning.

Thanks so much for the support .Knowing I am not alone made all the difference.

Love and hugs to all . Have a good Sunday xxxxxxxx

Dee74

Yeah I learned there is always usually a run up to a cravings storm - but you handled those thoughts great Ayers - you didn't drink. You won

D

Bekindalways

I'm breathing a sigh of relief for you Ayers. Thanks for letting us know. I hope a night of sleep kind of reset your frame of mind.

Dinner with my nephews has certainly reset mine. They have an ongoing argument about who would win in a battle Gengis Khan or Alexander the Great. This heated discussion has been going on for years now. They draw whoever they can into it too. They swam afterwards and managed to both get hurt . . . laughing the entire time. The 16 year old threw the 12 year olds shirt in the pool . . . and this all probably sounds like miserable chaos but I enjoyed it . . . .

So passing the torch on to you all . . . hope to wake up to some messages.

Ayers

Thanks Dee and Bee. grouphug:

Sunflower84

Morning,

9am here now... Not much to say this morning, moods very flat / low.
Woke around 3:30am with extreme itching on my upper arms again, worrying having a raised blood platelet and the itching, not a good sign reading bits online.

I'm going to call the Docs in the morning an get an appointment tomorrow so I can find out whats going on, the itching is so extreme and comes worse at night. I didn't get to the meditation yesterday, I did have a good walk but didn't go there. This afternoon we're going on the train over to my parents house for a meal with them, hope I can lift my mood, I just feel it's rock bottom on the floor, no life in me today, no positivity at all. Really need to try and pick up for my mum and dads sake, they have enough on worrying about my Dads cancer without me turning up all doom and gloom...

Sorry a bit morbid this morning just feeling low, probably be bouncing full of life again in no time, up and down constantly...

Hope everyone is ok.



Katy xxx

Ayers

Hi Katy

Sometimes it helps to just wallow in feeling down for a bit. Just a bit.
You will feel better again, promise.

Sorry about your itching. It must be very frustrating. You don't perhaps suffer from eczema? Maybe you have developed an allergy for something, although I have heard some people complaining about itching when quitting. Good idea to see the Doc.

Enjoy your visit with your parents , and I'm sure you will feel better soon. Maybe try and fit in an afternoon nap?

(((())))

Sunflower84

Thanks Ayers x

I'm trying to just roll with it today and accept I feel this way.
I'm having a coffee then I'll get sorted and go for a little walk, fresh air and a walk always helps

Hope you're ok today and glad you got through some bad cravings!
I've kind of read over posts this morning, just a glance really...

I'll be back on form more later I hope.

Katy x

zoeydog

Ayers, so glad you got through your rough AV. That sounded like a doozy. How funny that your croaky frog helped you through it!
Katy, spoil yourself today. I agree with Ayers, a nap helps me!
Bob, thanks for checking in to say hello. Good luck, and I'm glad you're finding strength with December group.
BeKind, I also love mayhem with young people. It makes me smile. Sounds like a wonderful time.
We're all coming up on New Years Eve, a difficult night for some (and a great night to stay in and watch a movie on TV sober for others). I'm wishing you all strength … Happy Sunday!

Bekindalways

Good morning all waking up here and hoping to carry the torch today to the best of my ability.

Kids sleeping all over the apartment and grandfather telling stories. Things are good.

DarklingSong

Katy, hope your mood is lifting as the day goes on.

DarklingSong

Ayers, glad you got through it......and yes for me a few hours of agitation/frustration is often a sign that the AV has awoken.
Hope you get to do something nice for yourself today.
Wonderful to see you Bob.

Sunflower84

Hey everyone, 5:50pm now and we're just back from visiting my parents.

After my last post this morning I got a lot worse, my tiredness and low mood turned to extreme anxiety, I had a full panic attack, it was awful. After that I managed to lay down on the couch and nod off for a little nap which helped. I got over to my Mum and Dads and picked right up My Mum did a lovely Buffet, had a little walk with the dogs. It was really relaxing and quality family time.

Home now, Me, my Bf and pooch are all on the couches with the fire on and tv.

Feeling very relaxed now which is good. Thanks for all the kind words all of you!!!

Looking forward to tomorrow, one of my closest friends is coming for me and my bf at 10:30 in the morn with her son and we're all heading up to Coniston Lake, having a nice walk around the lake then a hot chocolate at the cafe there. Nice way to spend the last day of the year
Tomorrow night is as you mentioned Zoeydog, definitely a SOBER night and tv/movies.
New Years Day as most of you have probably seen me mention on previous posts, a nice scenic walk and a New Years Day dinner at home.

I'll be glad to reach 6 weeks sober on Friday, the last few times I've stopped I relapsed around 4-5.5 weeks so getting to 6 weeks and beyond will feel good!

Thinking of you all, keep posting everyone! Love hearing each story / journey on this recovery path from all parts of this crazy world we share. This site is fantastic!!!! Can not praise it enough!!!

Hope you're well Dee, such a strong part of this lifeline we all have here! Love and respect to you.

Katy xxx

Ayers

Hi all my favourite people, Sunday evening

Thanks so much Darkling , Zoey, Katy, Barbs and you all for your thoughts on my near mishap.

It rained the whole day. H and I watched "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society" - was lovely. I read the book about 5 yrs ago, enjoyed watching it very much.

My son and I were outside now in the dark catching flying ants - he swears by them for his fishing - when we heard this loud groaning sound (no, it wasn't Kermit) and then a huge crash. A huge branch from our 70+ yr old Pin Oak came crashing down and landed in between the pergola and swimming pool - right on the edge, missing the pergola structure. It is a huge, huge branch - but if it had fallen inches to either side , it would have caused major destruction.

Got such a fright.

Hope your visit was lovely with your parents, Katy, and that you are feeling a bit better?

Bee, it sounds wonderful with a house full of kiddies and a grandpa telling stories.

Zoey, I go with you on the staying in and watching movies for New Years. Never been a big fan celebrating it anyway.

I remember years ago , we would always spend Xmas and NY at our holiday place at the coast. The kiddies (ours and all the nephews & nieces, cousins etc) were small , and we would have to wake them up and prop them up on loungers on the patio to watch the fireworks display. Now the tides have turned and I am the one who would have to be woken and propped up.

Lots of hugs to you all. Nearly bed and booktime here. See you in the morning - hope we all sleep well.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

matrac

Glad you’re doing better now Ayers and Katy.
Nice to hear from Bob and quit.

My mom is coming to stay with me. She will be moving into a senior building, but there’s a wait list and she had to leave the apt she shared with my sister. I am very nervous about it. I love my mom, but we couldn’t be more different in some of the most basic ways. My upbringing was very dysfunctional and Ihope that I have reconciled it enough. Im afraid of what my emotional state could become and how that will affect my husband and the kids. One day at a time guess. Yikes

Barbs

Ayers, so glad you made it through unscathed! You managed beautifully

Katy, I can relate to the full-blown panic attacks. They are awful. Glad you were able to enjoy your visit with your mom and dad. How is your dad doing?

Bekind, having kids around can be so fun, albeit, exhausting. I hope you’re taking good care of yourself.

I am feeling pretty good today, although a bit unsettled. Had lunch with hubby and his brother. They were drinking beer and tequila…yup, I had a twinge of jealously. But now hubby seems to be out for the night and it’s only 7:30. No jealousy now, lol. It is so easy to slip, I know I have to be on my toes. I don’t think I want to be around anyone drinking for a while.

Thinking of you all and hoping all is well

bobdrop

Hi all. Sorry, but I've just got to type some and December doesn't really know me yet. We are in South Florida visiting my wife's step mother until New Years Day. I came down with a cold on Friday and have not been feeling well because of that. I think Katy said something about itching? Well I do have eczema and was worried when my wife got a different body wash. Yes, now a couple of days later, I'm just sitting scratching like a dog from head to toe. The bad thing is that even getting back to normal with soap will still take days for my skin to calm down. Combine that with the cold, coughing congestion, and I'm left here not able to sleep in the middle of the night. Didn't bother me as I watched my wife's step mother pour glass after glass of straight vodka , except to feel sorry for her. (Learned that one from Barbs ) She said she was cutting back and was proud of me for not drinking. OK. Anyway, no one else around here has a clue what it's like to go through what we do, so I really needed to share. Tomorrow when the sun comes up(hopefully will have slept some) I'll be back to 10 days and ready for the New Year. Hope all of you are doing well.

David

Ayers

Monday morning, last day of 2018

Well, here we are , on the last day of 2018. Never one for big whoo-hahs surrounding New Year, but now if I think about it, it does have some meaning – if only to break up the ongoing day to day to day cycle and laying down a line or distinction , separating it .And it is nice to feel excited about a whole brand spanking New Year waiting for us all . Full of possibilities, opportunities and hope.

And it is absolutely fantastic welcoming a new year sober. Never in my dreams did I think that would be possible. And it is wonderful being able to share it with all my new friends that I have made in 4 months time. (actually you feel more like close family)

Dee, I like your new avatar. So cute.

Bob, I love that you came here, back to the fold when you’re not feeling well. Congrats on 10 days !Shame, I’m sorry about your flu and your eczema. My daughter suffers from it and we’ve gone through all the products on earth – but one thing I learned – and you probably already know – is to stay away from products containing Paraben. I was surprised by how few products are available that don’t contain it. But she did see an improvement after that. And of course , stress always brings on a new attack.

Matrac, I can imagine your mixed feelings with having to have your mother coming to stay. First of all , she’s so lucky to have such a good daughter , and secondly good luck. You will need to make plans for escaping when the going gets rough. Hopefully there will be an opening at the Senior facility soon. I dread the day that I have to look my children in the eye if ever that type of situation arises.

Barbs , isn’t it just a great feeling when it is someone else snoring on the couch and not you ? I feel that way most Saturdays after H comes back from playing golf. I can count on having the remote and TV all to myself on those evenings. 😊

Katy, enjoy Coniston Lake today and have a hot chocolate for me? Sounds just absolutely lovely.

Today will not be a quiet day – the cutting up of that branch that fell – I think I might hit the road while it is being done. Two sounds I absolutely hate – a weed eater and a chainsaw. Ugh !!!

Also hate New Year’s resolutions, but this year I have to say it out loud to commit.
I will be sober in 2019 – everyday .
And as from tomorrow I will start killing my other crutch – sugar. It has to stop . I have the coping skills now and will use them to stop ingesting sugar. Maybe start by weaning ?
Haha- this sounds so familiar doesn’t it? If anyone has any tips or tricks to help with this, please share.

Have a great, wonderful, meaningful last day of the year.
Lots of hugs and love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

DarklingSong

Happy New Years Eve.
Grateful to be at day 7.....after all it could be day 1. Trying to look on the bright side for once.

Barbs, I don't want to be around alcohol at all either. Only my husbands beer in the house now and I am ok with that until the holidays are over.

Bob, you have my sympathies.....hope you feel better soon.

My only resolutions this year are to stay sober, try some new recovery approaches (exercise for one) and to stay away from Dr. Google.
Strength to all today.

Barbs

Ayers, I will join you on that resolution. I will also be sober everyday of 2019! Breaking the sugar habit, wow, it’s really tough. I started with replacing one sugar snack with nuts, drank a lot of water/tea and kept myself busy. The first three days are awful, but gets easier after that. You just have to make up your mind that sugar is off limits. That said, I did start years ago with cutting out most carbs, bread, pasta, rice. I think that made it a bit easier to cut out the sugar. Although, I have to say, I have relapsed in the sugar department, lol. Maybe I’ll join you in that resolution too

Bob, so sorry you are sick. You sound miserable. Hope you feel better and find relief from the itching. One of the small benefits of being sick, no desire to drink (hopefully) Glad to see you still posting with us.

Darkling, great job on 7 days, a whole week!

Happy New Years Eve and Happy New Year to those on the other side of the globe

Bekindalways

Katy and Bob, that itching sounds miserable. Weird too. They say skin is our largest organ . . . or something like that. Ugh. I have crappy skin myself. I use a lot of pure lanolin and aloe vera but that may not help you two. It seems like with how hard you two have worked to stop drinking, you deserve some peace and comfort but that isn't how reality works - ugh!