Class of November 2018 Part 3
Rd2quit... 46 days is great!! That is significantly longer than any streak I have had this year. Have you found that cravings for alcohol have gradually faded the longer you are sober?
Your previous alcohol intake sounds very similar to mine... at least over the last three years leading up to about March of this year. Minimum of 6 drinks on weeknights... up to 20 some weekends.
I have never blacked out for some strange reason... I can remember the drunkest of drunken moments in my life. From back in college, when my father and his girlfriend had to carry me up to my bedroom to about 2 years ago when I tripped on the way out of the garage to put an 18 pack of empty beer cans in the recycling bin. I remember it all. Many very embarrassing moments... I'm not sure if remembering those embarrassing moments is a good thing or not.
Now that I think about it, the fact that I haven't ever blacked out is just another excuse to justify that my problem is not "that bad"... same with not having a DUI (even though I could have easily had one). There is no doubt that I do have a problem!!
There is definitely a chronological order from my wife's demands to stop drinking and her becoming silent about it. She pushed it heavily 3-5 years ago but then eventually backed off. (She basically said that "I don't even want to talk about it anymore because I am afraid you are just going to get up and leave me.")
Then, I got a job a year ago that requires us to be apart during the week... so that is why I think she is doing the "eggshell" thing. I think she just wants to spend time together with the least amount of resistance as possible. Not the healthiest relationship we have... I know. I will definitely talk to her about it this weekend.
Your previous alcohol intake sounds very similar to mine... at least over the last three years leading up to about March of this year. Minimum of 6 drinks on weeknights... up to 20 some weekends.
I have never blacked out for some strange reason... I can remember the drunkest of drunken moments in my life. From back in college, when my father and his girlfriend had to carry me up to my bedroom to about 2 years ago when I tripped on the way out of the garage to put an 18 pack of empty beer cans in the recycling bin. I remember it all. Many very embarrassing moments... I'm not sure if remembering those embarrassing moments is a good thing or not.
Now that I think about it, the fact that I haven't ever blacked out is just another excuse to justify that my problem is not "that bad"... same with not having a DUI (even though I could have easily had one). There is no doubt that I do have a problem!!
There is definitely a chronological order from my wife's demands to stop drinking and her becoming silent about it. She pushed it heavily 3-5 years ago but then eventually backed off. (She basically said that "I don't even want to talk about it anymore because I am afraid you are just going to get up and leave me.")
Then, I got a job a year ago that requires us to be apart during the week... so that is why I think she is doing the "eggshell" thing. I think she just wants to spend time together with the least amount of resistance as possible. Not the healthiest relationship we have... I know. I will definitely talk to her about it this weekend.
Day 35
I had a very restless night and have been awake since 4 am. I feel so unsettled on really on the brink of drinking. I don't know what to do.
My Dr won't give me Valium to calm me down as she thinks I will become dependent on them-probably right but I do feel like I need some sort of intervention. I don't want to throw the last 35 days away.
HELP
RAL I hope you wake up feeling better today x
My Dr won't give me Valium to calm me down as she thinks I will become dependent on them-probably right but I do feel like I need some sort of intervention. I don't want to throw the last 35 days away.
HELP
RAL I hope you wake up feeling better today x
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 388
Teejay - I want to address your first four paragraphs with the same response. I also justified my drinking. While I certainly would blackout a couple times a month I figured I was never that bad because I never had any physical withdrawals from not drinking. I had very significant physical withdrawals when I quit smoking cigarettes cold Turkey 10 years ago so I am using that as comparison.
I say that because I dont really think I would say I have craved a drink since I quit. Certainly not like I craved a cigarette after the first couple weeks of quiting. I have certainly been very tempted to drink many times. That may sound like semantics but to me there is a difference.
that being said, overall it is getting easier but some aspects are overwhelming. I am learning how to live without drinking everyday so that helps. I am noticing so many positives to being sober I am really staying motivated. As I have mentioned thousands of times before Fridays are still difficult. What scares me most right now is how I'm handling what I say to other people. For the most part those who have obviously noticed I am not drinking I have led on that this is temporary. Well now I'm getting a little more brave. I posted before how told a family member via email I quit drinking. After I sent it I almost had a heart attack. What was I thinking saying that?! How could I really quit drinking, just the notion seems so daunting. Well anyway, I have my first therapy appointment in a week. I an very excited, I hope she can help. I know there is no magic bullet but she specializes in alcoholism and substance abuse.
so on to your last two paragraphs. I totally get why your wife wants to spend what little time you have together without getting into an argument. Maybe if you let her know supporting you while you are sober is very helpful and will ultimately help you stay sober, which means no need to deal with drunk TeeJay in the future. Or something along those lines.
I say that because I dont really think I would say I have craved a drink since I quit. Certainly not like I craved a cigarette after the first couple weeks of quiting. I have certainly been very tempted to drink many times. That may sound like semantics but to me there is a difference.
that being said, overall it is getting easier but some aspects are overwhelming. I am learning how to live without drinking everyday so that helps. I am noticing so many positives to being sober I am really staying motivated. As I have mentioned thousands of times before Fridays are still difficult. What scares me most right now is how I'm handling what I say to other people. For the most part those who have obviously noticed I am not drinking I have led on that this is temporary. Well now I'm getting a little more brave. I posted before how told a family member via email I quit drinking. After I sent it I almost had a heart attack. What was I thinking saying that?! How could I really quit drinking, just the notion seems so daunting. Well anyway, I have my first therapy appointment in a week. I an very excited, I hope she can help. I know there is no magic bullet but she specializes in alcoholism and substance abuse.
so on to your last two paragraphs. I totally get why your wife wants to spend what little time you have together without getting into an argument. Maybe if you let her know supporting you while you are sober is very helpful and will ultimately help you stay sober, which means no need to deal with drunk TeeJay in the future. Or something along those lines.
I had a very restless night and have been awake since 4 am. I feel so unsettled on really on the brink of drinking. I don't know what to do.
My Dr won't give me Valium to calm me down as she thinks I will become dependent on them-probably right but I do feel like I need some sort of intervention. I don't want to throw the last 35 days away.
HELP
RAL I hope you wake up feeling better today x
My Dr won't give me Valium to calm me down as she thinks I will become dependent on them-probably right but I do feel like I need some sort of intervention. I don't want to throw the last 35 days away.
HELP
RAL I hope you wake up feeling better today x
I had a very restless night and have been awake since 4 am. I feel so unsettled on really on the brink of drinking. I don't know what to do.
My Dr won't give me Valium to calm me down as she thinks I will become dependent on them-probably right but I do feel like I need some sort of intervention. I don't want to throw the last 35 days away.
HELP
RAL I hope you wake up feeling better today x
My Dr won't give me Valium to calm me down as she thinks I will become dependent on them-probably right but I do feel like I need some sort of intervention. I don't want to throw the last 35 days away.
HELP
RAL I hope you wake up feeling better today x
Good luck!
stay with us Kaily - drinking just makes us more anxious in the long run.
All you need to do today is get through the day. It doesn't always have to be graceful and hopefully tomorrow will be better
D
All you need to do today is get through the day. It doesn't always have to be graceful and hopefully tomorrow will be better
D
Please don't drink kaily don't throw all that you have achieved away. I promise you if you drink you won't feel better just much much worse.
can you go for a walk ?clearly your head.
I've slept better but don't really feel like exercise. I will get a walk though.
please don't drink kaily. We are all here for you.
can you go for a walk ?clearly your head.
I've slept better but don't really feel like exercise. I will get a walk though.
please don't drink kaily. We are all here for you.
Thanks. I have just been out for an hours walk. Home again now. Got some errands to run. I think the funeral I attended yesterday might of triggered my PTSD. This is why I isolate, as the slightest little thing sends my mental health haywire.
Glad you slept well RAL and I hope you manage to at least have a walk.
Glad you slept well RAL and I hope you manage to at least have a walk.
Hi everyone,
Kaily, I'm so glad you checked in and didn't drink. Yesterday probably did trigger things but it will pass. I did 5 mins on the cross trainer-not much but better than nothing. The wetaher here is dreadful but I will go for a walk. I work in a garden so plenty of opportunity for walking. there is no excuse I have valium although don't take it often but do agree with your doc. It is highly addictive and although it helps once taken when it wears off it's awful even just after 1 or 2. plus I get such a bad headache too when it wears off I often wonder if it's worth it. Do you tkae anything? I take citalopram 10mg which keeps my anxiety at bay.
Drunkexpat- good to see you checking in. hpe all is ok.
Hi Tinkerbeau -how are things?
TJ - it's great you're recognising and talking with your wife. Is living apart a strain for you?
Chaisson-sorry to hear you had a crappy weekend. hope you have a better week.
Breakfree-how are you? Have you packed for your hols? I hope you are feeling a little more positive and have a firm plan.
Mechanic -hope you are ok?
Strawberry, I think I need to do keto too -feel so much better when I do.
Clearpath-good on you for avoiding the cravings the other night. It's great you're sober and able to help your daughter.
Bonnie=giving up toxic friends is such a good idea. Well done on having the courage to do it and put your own needs first.
jimmy-god on you for not drinking over the last couple of days.
I feel I've not really checked in properly the last few days. Yes I feel rubbish but just got to keep plodding on. The time of years doesn't help as I'm sure you can all relate to. anyway i'm trying to be positive today and maybe cut down on coffee too which I think may have fuelled my agitation.
So a baking question. what does a cup mean? I often see this in recipes and have no clue. Is it a cup you drink tea or coffee out of? I have many cups of all different sizes so surely this isnt it Is it a special baking cup. I suppose I wonder how many grams is it? thank you
Have a great day everyone
RAL.x
Kaily, I'm so glad you checked in and didn't drink. Yesterday probably did trigger things but it will pass. I did 5 mins on the cross trainer-not much but better than nothing. The wetaher here is dreadful but I will go for a walk. I work in a garden so plenty of opportunity for walking. there is no excuse I have valium although don't take it often but do agree with your doc. It is highly addictive and although it helps once taken when it wears off it's awful even just after 1 or 2. plus I get such a bad headache too when it wears off I often wonder if it's worth it. Do you tkae anything? I take citalopram 10mg which keeps my anxiety at bay.
Drunkexpat- good to see you checking in. hpe all is ok.
Hi Tinkerbeau -how are things?
TJ - it's great you're recognising and talking with your wife. Is living apart a strain for you?
Chaisson-sorry to hear you had a crappy weekend. hope you have a better week.
Breakfree-how are you? Have you packed for your hols? I hope you are feeling a little more positive and have a firm plan.
Mechanic -hope you are ok?
Strawberry, I think I need to do keto too -feel so much better when I do.
Clearpath-good on you for avoiding the cravings the other night. It's great you're sober and able to help your daughter.
Bonnie=giving up toxic friends is such a good idea. Well done on having the courage to do it and put your own needs first.
jimmy-god on you for not drinking over the last couple of days.
I feel I've not really checked in properly the last few days. Yes I feel rubbish but just got to keep plodding on. The time of years doesn't help as I'm sure you can all relate to. anyway i'm trying to be positive today and maybe cut down on coffee too which I think may have fuelled my agitation.
So a baking question. what does a cup mean? I often see this in recipes and have no clue. Is it a cup you drink tea or coffee out of? I have many cups of all different sizes so surely this isnt it Is it a special baking cup. I suppose I wonder how many grams is it? thank you
Have a great day everyone
RAL.x
I dunno if your gran had something like this but mine did RAL - little cups measurement thingys
Pyrex make an all in one measuring cup too, as do many other companies.
In Australia a cup is 250ml - must be roughly the same everywhere?
D
Pyrex make an all in one measuring cup too, as do many other companies.
In Australia a cup is 250ml - must be roughly the same everywhere?
D
I think I’m at Day 23.
I’m glad to say that the reporter and looky-loo traffic is starting to slow down in our neighborhood. Yesterday there were a couple of guys with a big TV camera filming shots of the entrance for some reason, and still a few cars following other cars through the security gates so they can drive slowly by that house and gawk at residents who are just trying to walk their cute Labrador retriever puppies. But mostly, things are quiet, which is nice.
Anyway, today’s plan:
1. Long walk, although it’s pretty cold out today. (It’s 41 degrees right now, too cold for a houstonian.)
2. More knitting. The little one likes the hat I made for her, so I’m making another. This one will have a pom-pom.
3. Cleaning the house. Bleh.
4. Coffee
5. Not drinking
I’m glad to say that the reporter and looky-loo traffic is starting to slow down in our neighborhood. Yesterday there were a couple of guys with a big TV camera filming shots of the entrance for some reason, and still a few cars following other cars through the security gates so they can drive slowly by that house and gawk at residents who are just trying to walk their cute Labrador retriever puppies. But mostly, things are quiet, which is nice.
Anyway, today’s plan:
1. Long walk, although it’s pretty cold out today. (It’s 41 degrees right now, too cold for a houstonian.)
2. More knitting. The little one likes the hat I made for her, so I’m making another. This one will have a pom-pom.
3. Cleaning the house. Bleh.
4. Coffee
5. Not drinking
Quick check-in before heading out the door. Started this class a month ago. Driving home yesterday, some obscure information from my distant past popped into my mind. A prayer I used to say as a kid. Could recite it in detail, though I hadn't thought about it for years and years. I'm going to chalk this up to my brain repairing itself. It made me smile. Onward and upward from here.
Yes RAL I take Escitalopram for anxiety, Campral to help with cravings and Zopiclone at night as I suffer insomnia. I have previously had Valium.
I'm glad others answered the baking question as I wouldn't have a clue!
I'm glad others answered the baking question as I wouldn't have a clue!
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