Originally Posted by CrossYourHeart

24 more for me! I’m seeing all of the holiday booze displays at the grocery stores: stay strong people. Spend that money on someone you love, or donate it to charity instead if you’re tempted.

Originally Posted by joandmelandhan

Good morning all.
I am so sorry I'm not posting a great deal right now and I feel just awful I'm out of the loop with everyone's news and struggles. Truth is I'm slipping badly. My moods are just awful and I have a bit of a virus on top of it.
Hannah and I actually came to blows on Saturday. Yes I know. A massive blow up over her flicking the lights off and on. Pathetic I'm ashamed. Then on Sunday I felt so tired and headachy I went to bed for 4 hours in the afternoon. Boy did that mess with my mind. It felt like I'd been drinking when I woke up and had lost half the day.
I've decided to take a day off work today just to try and regroup. Sounds a good idea but if I am being honest I'm throwing a sickie. This is the kind of thing I did when drinking and I feel pretty anxious doing it today but I just couldn't go in. I feel sick inside at the idea of skipping work but I'm just so out of sorts I think I'll end up having a bit of a meltdown today if I go in. So I actually feel like today is a sick day due to mental illness as much as anything else. It wouldn't wash if I said that so I've lied.
I have no intention of drinking - I m lucky that the holidays don't trigger me (and my thoughts go out to those battling the cravings right now).
My plan is to try and do some chores around the house, walk the dog and cook something healthy for dinner. That's about as much as I'm prepared to commit to and to be honest the idea of slobbing around appeals to me far too much right now. Oh dear I am having a moan today aren't I?
Again I am sorry for going awol but in my head there is a wall between the things I know will help me and actually doing them. Even down to the basics like cleaning my teeth. Yes I know it gets like this sometimes and I am thinking abut PJ's advice that sometimes just the absolute basics are good enough. So we shall see. In my mind I must make today count (given that I have let work down). Posting here is helping - apologies if it has come across as self absorbent and hard to follow.
I feel like although I am not craving alcohol I am taking a step further down the relapse ladder each week. It's dangerous territory for us addicts and somehow I need to find a way to regroup and steady my mind.
Committing to 24 more please and lots of love to all

Originally Posted by Guener

Looking to hear about my boss, only recently from my new job in the past five months, is going to go on a sabbatical. This will probably mean more responsibilities for me, but I would look forward to the challenge. Soberly! In for another 24 today.

Originally Posted by Chaisson

Hello and 24 more for me today please. Have a long day and night ahead so extra caffeine on the horizon.

I hope everyone who is struggling or down finds some peace along the way today.

Originally Posted by Sunflowerlife

Wednesday morning, 6:13 am
Decided to take a rest day from working out.
I woke up really feeling shot and tired- and need to listen to my body.

My reading yesterday went ok but it was not phenomenal like I was hoping.
I keep learning the same lesson over and over again- that there is no one outside of me that can tell me my truths and lessons. If I stand still long enough and listen, I can hear them on my own.

She reiterated some things I already knew- like how my marriage problems, in the end, are all about looking at my own flaws and the inner work I need to do (in other words, stop blaming him when I know that I am 50% responsible for the B.S.)

Also, she reminded me that my husband and I are both still in early recovery. He has a little over a year and I have 18 months and considering I had 25 years of drug and alcohol abuse, that is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

I need to find more help so I can work through my issues. I am going to bring it up with my new therapist at my appt. tomorrow- I love that she gives me tools to use at home but I need talk therapy. I want to dig inside. I want to peel the onion layers with her. I need to understand why I was using all those years.

While I do feel better than I did even a year ago, the progress is very slow and I still have a lot of problems handling high stress situations. So does my husband. So does my oldest son. It feels, sometimes, like this house is going to explode from emotions and I wish more than anything that I could take some of that pain away. At the same time I am an empath who struggles with absorbing the chaos around me. I have to find a balance somehow.

Well, I am glad to be working today after 3 days off.
Going to focus on giving, giving giving to everyone I come in contact with. It's the best way, I have found, to get out of my head and away from my ego.

Love you all.
Here for 24 more.

Originally Posted by kenton

Jo, if the virus doing the rounds up there is anything like the one down here, I'm not surprised you're feeling the way you do. This virus is knocking people for 6 and it seems to especially play with people's emotional state. Last week I had a mum from my kids school break down in my car because she couldn't remember where she'd put elf on the shelf. (For anyone who doesn't know, from 1 - 24 December each year, we move a toy elf around our homes so each morning the kids wake up and hunt for elf and see what mischief he's been up to during the night. On Christmas day, elf disappears until the following December). Anyway, this mum packed elf away last Christmas and she couldn't remember where she'd put him and his resulted in her crying her eyes out in my car. And this is a very cheerful, rational woman. But she's been unwell with the virus and she's been super busy and it all got too much for her. I took her home and then took her kids back to my house for a few hours so she could rest. Sometimes life gets to us and when our bodies are fighting off a virus, the smallest things can tip us over the edge. I think taking a day off work is exactly what you need to do, Jo and I think you need to rest and not feel guilty about resting. Your body needs you to be still and quiet so you can get better. Don't beat yourself up for being human - you are far too awesome to be feeling bad about yoursELF. See what I did there??.... little pun about elf. By the way, once my crying friend felt a little better, she found elf …. he was hiding at the back of her sock drawer. This prompted me to tell one of my favourite elf jokes..... If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? Mistle-toe!! Yeah, she didn't think it was that funny either but maybe it was too soon for jokes. Thinking of you Jo and sending you tons of love xxx

Congrats to everyone celebrating a milestone today and love to everyone. 24 more for me please xxxx