November 29, 2018


CrossYourHeart ~ 10 months! ♥
joandmelandhan ~ 1 year & 4 months! ♥

Hi 24s,

Tough day. Woke up with severe neck pain. It’s been building up slowly over time. Handling a very strong, large, rambunctious young dog for the past four months, work pressures, and just regular chores in the house and yard have created a big problem that just blew up. It’s scary and discouraging. How do I stop everything and get better? I’ve been in a good patch, I thought. Now I am barely able to turn my head at all. Can barely drive -it’s dangerous.

So so I called in to work, took my poor dog to the boarding kennel, nearly had an accident in morning traffic and was sent down for X-rays. Waiting for results. I know something major is going on, but need to believe I can handle it. Worried about my job, taking care of basics, caring for my pets..where is this leading? Yet I haven’t gotten specific information yet. Neck has been a chronic problem since my 20’s, and RA-related stuff—it’s not fun but no big surprises. Why am I stunned? You go into a good patch and that’s it..you’ve got this, you’re better and your brain closes on what might happen later.

I still don’t know. Need to relax but be ready for big changes. I am very sad about my pup. It looks like I need to consider that I may not be physically able to care for him properly. He may not be able to stay. Still in the ‘mays’ and ‘mights’, though.

When I was drinking my worries were facts. It was always worse-case scenario. Today I can see more of a continuum; best case, worst case, and those grey middle parts better. Yes I worry too much, and go negative but I see maybe it’s not all true. I can see that I will probably be able to work even though holding my head up is painful right now. I can always lay down with a laptop at worst. Things have solutions. I will get through this though getting better will be tough.

I have a great group of friends and a loving family. Most of all, I am sober. I’ll just think about that, creep into the kitchen to make popcorn and cocoa and watch The Crown and kinda disappear. Worry really is optional. There’s also a delightful, purring Maine Coon lazy kitty here. I’m blessed.

24, for sure.

Bug hugs to you, sweet JoJo .You are burning out—and totally did the right thing. Stop being like me and identifying with your career so much Take the time you need to feel well. (Of course, that only applies to you...haha. I can relate!) Let’s help each other. It’s a sign. Love you. Xxoo

Love to everyone, and good night

Chatterbox Red (I should be forced to post scrum-style...time called!).

22:15 EST and another 24 for me!