Originally Posted by joandmelandhan

Hi Sunflower!
I'm presuming you've decided not to go?
I wouldn't go if it were me. That kind of party is just way out of my comfort zones and it sounds like alcohol will be just everywhere with no escape.
I'm assuming it's your method of declining the invitation that is stressing you out?
If it's a surprise party and your friend doesn't know about it then your main contact is the husband yes? I would call him back and make a big deal of the boys and be very apologetic but you daren't leave them. Then explain properly to your friend once the party is over.
If your friend knows about the party then you can call her and tell her exactly what you've explained to us. Absolutely no shame in that and I'm sure she will completely understand. You and your friend can perhaps have a nice special day out together instead.
Safety first dear.
I honestly think they will be very sweet about it ❤❤❤

Originally Posted by Sunflowerlife

I need some advice please.

One of my besties is turning 40 in August. She knows I don't go out and drink, she's knows about my recovery and has been very supportive. Well her husband sent me a text this morning inviting me and my husband to her Birthday Cruise- on a Friday night in August.

"We're going to get together and take one of those harbor cruises with dinner and drinks...and maybe some dancing (if we drink enough).."

I don't know how to respond to this. I'm surprised that he doesn't know I don't drink (but I respect the fact that she never shared that with him.) For starters, we have never had anyone put the boys to bed. Our youngest is 3 and while they also have a 3 year old who spends the night many times at her parent's house, my parents have never done that and I'm not sure my youngest is ready for it (very attached to me still.)

Secondly and most obviously, I don't want to go out at night and be around drinkers. I don't do that stuff anymore, I haven't gone out for a late night since I had kids honestly and especially since getting sober 13 months ago. I know some people can still live that kind of lifestyle and just not drink but it doesn't appeal to me.

I don't know how to say "no" in a text message.
I know that his wife will understand because she knows me well enough and knows I don't go out for these types of things.

I guess I just don't know how to respond in these situations. Any advice? I'm not good with wording as I tend to overthink these things. Thanks guys...

Originally Posted by venuscat

Originally Posted by kenton

Hi Sunflowerlife, I'd send this ....

Hi (insert name), thank you so much for the invitation, it sounds like you have a wonderful evening planned! Unfortunately we won't be able to be there because our little one needs us to get him to bed (pesky kids!!) but we look forward to catching up with all of you soon. Can't wait to hear about the party! Lots of love, SFL xx

Don't feel guilty, tell the truth, keep it bright & breezy and arrange to see them at a time that suits you. Proper friends always understand xxx

Hope everyone is OK. 24 more for me please xxxx

Originally Posted by venuscat

First of all huge hugs.

My feelings....if it was me....I would call him.
I would let him know how glad you are that they want you with them, but you don't drink anymore and aren't comfortable being around alcohol.....I would imagine he will completely understand.....I would suggest an alternative for the four of you on another day to celebrate your friend's 40th.....perhaps you could offer to take them out for a lovely lunch or buy a ballooning trip for the four of you.....that would be awesome.

But that's me......I am comfortable telling people I don't drink and do not like to be around it....especially in a situation like a boat where I am trapped. I don't tell them that part.

♥

Originally Posted by bandicoot2

(((Jo)))
(((Babs)))
Drinking husband here too.
I sure wish he had what we all have. With that said, 24 more for me please!

Congratulations to everyone celebrating a Milestone!!
Hugs, peace, strength and love to all....xxxx

Originally Posted by Marcutah1

Had to concentrate to make it past lunch without going to the store. Could not believe that I was trying to convince myself that having a "nip" at lunch was acceptable. Remembering what everyone here says when others are in a similar situation, Don't Do IT. And I did not. I will have some more of that sweet 24.

Originally Posted by PhoenixJ

24 more
Bought all the art supplies needed for my course. No more supermarket grade poster paints. They are graded on pigment..very traditional approach to drawing, painting, sculpture..which is what I need..structure, discipline and learnin'.
Support to all.

Originally Posted by Kris47

24 more please, Dear God.

My days are a bit of a challenge right now.

I hold you all close in my heart.

Originally Posted by kenton

Hi Sunflowerlife, I'd send this ....

Hi (insert name), thank you so much for the invitation, it sounds like you have a wonderful evening planned! Unfortunately we won't be able to be there because our little one needs us to get him to bed (pesky kids!!) but we look forward to catching up with all of you soon. Can't wait to hear about the party! Lots of love, SFL xx

Don't feel guilty, tell the truth, keep it bright & breezy and arrange to see them at a time that suits you. Proper friends always understand xxx

Hope everyone is OK. 24 more for me please xxxx

Originally Posted by venuscat

First of all huge hugs.

My feelings....if it was me....I would call him.
I would let him know how glad you are that they want you with them, but you don't drink anymore and aren't comfortable being around alcohol.....I would imagine he will completely understand.....I would suggest an alternative for the four of you on another day to celebrate your friend's 40th.....perhaps you could offer to take them out for a lovely lunch or buy a ballooning trip for the four of you.....that would be awesome.

But that's me......I am comfortable telling people I don't drink and do not like to be around it....especially in a situation like a boat where I am trapped. I don't tell them that part.

♥

Originally Posted by Kris47

24 more please, Dear God.

My days are a bit of a challenge right now.

I hold you all close in my heart.