Sunflowerlife

I am feeling really crummy. I've been feeling like this since yesterday. I know my sleep hasn't been good but this is more than just being tired, I'm irritable and short and want to be left alone. I hate feeling like this. I worked out this morning but it didn't help. I meditated for 5 minutes but it wasn't enough. I was going to go to yoga at 10:30 but I'm just not up for it.

I just had a super filling fatty protein shake and I'm still hungry. Ugh. I'm not going to binge but I don't want to be hungry right now. I don't normally eat this early. Maybe I just need more water? Ugh.

Sunflower79

Maybe a relaxing bath? 💕

Sunflowerlife

Okay, well these uncomfortable feelings are causing some urges so here I go, I'll be the guinea pig in the process I shared above and try it out: (I am saying these out loud which is part of the protocol)

I'm aware that I'm having the thought to rent a movie and binge instead of painting the windows.

I'm aware that I'm having the sensation of a pit in my stomach, racing thoughts and elevated heart rate.

These thoughts and sensations are just my brain responding to triggers. I can survive this and I don’t have to act on the urges.

(and now I'm in tears..)

STEP 2:
I’m aware that I’m having the feelings of irritability, sadness, loneliness, exhaustion and confusion.

STEP 3:
STEP THREE: FIND THE FUNCTION

"Identify how the behavior may be functioning as an attempt to meet legitimate needs in your life."
Examples:

Power

Voice

Control

Choice

Safety

Routine

Familiarity

Escape

Relief From

Guilt

Shame

Fear/Anxiety

Identity

Significance

Admiration

Accomplishment

Love

Acceptance

Inclusion

Intimidation

I think my needs to feel like I am being useful in terms of work/career are causing these feelings. I have been stressing about money lately and about finding part time work. Also been thinking a lot about my long term career goals and that is stressful too. I also need connection today.

I also started working on forgiveness of the past, using H'oponomo and that is very draining.

STEP 4:

STEP FOUR: IMAGINE RECOVERY BEHAVIORS

Visualize how you can act as you find healthy ways to meet your needs.

Rather than imagining yourself using behaviors, visualize acting on recovery behaviors and how they positively affect you.




Okay, well I can't do anything today about my long term goals (I've already signed up for my next Reiki training which is the next step.) But I could use some connection. Maybe I'll see if my Mom can stop by after work. And I will go work on my living room right now although all I want to do is lie down and watch a movie. I don't feel well. Maybe my need is for rest?



STEP FIVE: REFOCUS

If the urges persist, focus your attention on something requiring concentration. This is more than distraction. Immerse your mind as fully as possible into something other than the behavior. This focus, along with abstaining from the behavior, rewires the brain to learn new, healthy behaviors. Examples:

Examples:

Deep breathing or yoga exercises

Calm.com

Games that require strategy

Listen intently to music

Learn a new, challenging skill

Talk with a friend and practice good listening (try and identify different instruments)

ReflectivePrayer.com

Solve a challenging puzzle

Read/watch a mystery

Tetris.com


I feel better, I think. But now I'm thinking about the stupid bagels in the kitchen. I am not going to eat one. I am worth this recovery...

Sunflowerlife

That tool above really helped.
And I got some distance Reiki from a FB group and feel much better. I was inspired out of no where to go mow the lawn, something I've never done before (hubby always does it.) The Universe is funny how it comes up with ways to help out ...

Sunflowerlife

How have you been these last couple of days? I’d love to hear from you.

Sunflowerlife

Day 4 coming to an end. Hallelujah. I haven’t made it this far in weeks.

venuscat

Well that is lovely news. ♥♥♥

Sunflowerlife

Yes it is, thank you my friend.

Took me well over an hour to snooze this morning- not sure what is going on buy my body seems to need some healing and lots of sleep.

I wish us all a lovely Friday...this week went by fast, didn't it?

venuscat

Yes......I had NO idea it was Friday.....are we really sure it is?

Sunflowerlife

haha, nope, not sure at all.
How is your day going? I feel like this thread is slowly dying...

PeacefulWater12

Checking in gratefully having enjoyed my food today.

Pleasantly aching from my Pilates class.

Sunflowerlife

Glad you are doing well PW

Sunflowerlife

I’m having cravings galore today! I had the most intense spin class of my life (my first time with this instructor and I am hooked!). So everything I look at that I “can’t have” looks so good! My sons veggie straws, his cheese sandwich, the bagels on the counter. I have eaten a ton already so I know I am not hungry. I took a bite of the remains of his cheese sandwich and put the rest down the garbage disposal. I am not upset about it. I will not binge today.

PeacefulWater12

Sorry to hear you are having cravings. I hope they pass soon and you get relief from them, SunFlower Life

Sunflowerlife

Thank you PW. It’s been nonstop today and my withdrawals are horrendous. I really don’t feel well.

venuscat

Thinking of you love. ♥♥

venuscat

No.....not at all love.....

I know for me I needed to post a bit less this week to get into my schoolwork....

I may not have mentioned this, but since you started this thread I have almost gotten back to my perfect size and I am passionate about exercise again...and I am obsessing less about food. That is huge for me.

I have been 'alone' with my food demons forever.....I don't feel that way anymore. ♥

AAPJ

SFL I don't think this thread is dying but the location of the original thread in the newcomers section got a lot more views/traffic.

I do think that many of my AA member friends would benefit from this thread. You should see how many of them suck down any cookies or cake that is brought to meetings. And then there are the two old-timers that always show up with a large soda (not diet) in hand. Did I mention that they are significantly overweight? To this group I probably did not need to mention this because we understand that sugar is the fastest way to obesity.

My guess is that many of them have all sorts of food issues but compared to their former alcohol problems this one is just way down on their priority list. My issues with food are less intense than most of the regular posters here. But many of the posts here strongly echo the struggles of my wife who like most of you recognizes the need for no sugar low carb eating and is trying to make it day by day. It helps me to better understand the issue by reading your posts.

I have said it before and I will say it again. IMO Food issues are much more difficult to resolve than alcohol issues because the solution of just quitting completely is not an option for food.

I wish everyone here success! Have a great day.

Sunflowerlife

Hey Arp, thank you for that input, it makes a lot of sense. And I agree that this is harder than drugs and acohol. For me I just wish I could ban all bread and sugar for the house for a month to get a handle on things and I don't know how to do it with 2 little boys. I will talk to my husband and see what we can do.

I'm struggling big time. I'm sorry that your wife is struggling too but am happy that this thread is giving you insight into her daily life.

Have a great weekend friend...

Sunflowerlife

This makes me really happy to hear- That loneliness can be so brutal. Glad to know this thread is helping you and I am so glad that you have been a part of it...xoxo