Class of January Support Thread 2018 Part 6
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Join Date: Dec 2017
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Hi all! NewChapter, I'm glad you checked in and I hope you're surviving your in-laws. I love mine, but extended visits are always challenging. I have a super busy weekend planned, which will really start on Friday, and then I'm supposed to leave town for work on Monday. This is a trip I should cancel due to more important commitments at home, but I feel like it's the 11th hour and to do so would cause problems at work, or at the very least, resentments among colleagues I care about. On the other hand, obviously my family is the most important thing and people need to understand that. Ugh. I find myself driven by guilt so often, to the point where I postpone decision-making until the 11th hour and make everything worse. On the bright side, I'm lucky to have these choices at all, since many people don't. Anyway, sorry for the rambling...I'll check back in later!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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Yes. Thanks for popping by NC and Sunflower.
Palmer I swear I wouldn’t have gotten half as far without the crushing weight of guilt. Or maybe I’d be as far but I’d be less stressed who knows. Basically I completely get it and making a decision that protects me at a cost to others is basically not in my lexicon. Ok that sounds like I’m trying to portray myself as a saint. I just mean it’s hard for me to be my own advocate sometimes. Kind of like in all you said you didn’t talk about what you needed
Well did three whopping minutes of yoga before the whole house got up. Ugh. Oh well! Good lesson to get my behind out of bed earlier I suppose.
Palmer I swear I wouldn’t have gotten half as far without the crushing weight of guilt. Or maybe I’d be as far but I’d be less stressed who knows. Basically I completely get it and making a decision that protects me at a cost to others is basically not in my lexicon. Ok that sounds like I’m trying to portray myself as a saint. I just mean it’s hard for me to be my own advocate sometimes. Kind of like in all you said you didn’t talk about what you needed
Well did three whopping minutes of yoga before the whole house got up. Ugh. Oh well! Good lesson to get my behind out of bed earlier I suppose.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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Hi All!
Thanks for the supportive posts, I survived the visit! Haha Luckily I get on quite well with my in-laws, but as you say, an extended visit with ANY family can be taxing, and my husband gets very uptight about his parents visiting as he can clash a little with his mom, and of course those vibes then get directed at me! I woke up this morning ready to have a super productive day and of course every thing that could have gone wrong did - you couldn't make it up, it was like a really bad comedy. Of course this culminated in a series of blow ups between hubby and I, I trying to take the higher road as he sulked and stormed away, eventually returning to utter some silly hurtful comments - with which I didn't engage and ignored until he came around. A joyful start to the day! Haha
I bought some Bee Pollen today to add to my breakfast in the mornings as it is supposed to be a superfood with lots of benefits including energy boosting, fatigue blasting and its also supposed to be great for clearing skin - both of which I am in dire need! I'll keep you posted as to results!
@Sunflower: I hope you enjoyed your visit with your daughter!
@Palmer: I'm so glad you had a nice time with your friend and that you were able to socialise of Diet Cokes! I understand what you mean though about it being a little more challenging to make conversation in those sober interactions. I'm finding that I have to almost re-learn social skills for small talk and conversation as I can get so bored in people's company, and alcohol used to be my go-to for curing that boredom.
@Numblady: Fun in the sun over the weekend sounds awesome. I'm really sorry that your husband is being a bit challenging at the moment. I'm sure it can feel isolating at times. I definitely understand the feeling of restlessness. As I mentioned to @Palmer above, I'm finding it hard to engage in certain social situations and have definitely drifted lately into a state of not really having anything that really energises or excites me. Things just feel a little..nothing. I hope this lifts as we push through the first few months. I'm really sorry that you seem to be between a rock and a hard place with family and work commitments. That is never easy and can really feel like you're just being stretched in so many directions that there is no elasticity left to sustain your own being. If that makes any sense! I hope you can some to an arrangement re: work trip that feels comfortable and assuages that guilt somewhat. Perhaps try to put yourself first in the decision making process (I know, this is WAY harder to do in practise, and easy for me to say, right?) - but maybe if it's a situation where you feel governed by guilt on either end of the decision spectrum, this might be the perfect opportunity to take a 'damned if you do, damned if you don't' situation and use it to exercise some self care and kindness by putting your own needs first. Just a thought - and apologies if this suggestion is frustrating, I know sometimes well meant advice like this can be more irritating than anything, please know that is not how it is intended!
Thanks for the supportive posts, I survived the visit! Haha Luckily I get on quite well with my in-laws, but as you say, an extended visit with ANY family can be taxing, and my husband gets very uptight about his parents visiting as he can clash a little with his mom, and of course those vibes then get directed at me! I woke up this morning ready to have a super productive day and of course every thing that could have gone wrong did - you couldn't make it up, it was like a really bad comedy. Of course this culminated in a series of blow ups between hubby and I, I trying to take the higher road as he sulked and stormed away, eventually returning to utter some silly hurtful comments - with which I didn't engage and ignored until he came around. A joyful start to the day! Haha
I bought some Bee Pollen today to add to my breakfast in the mornings as it is supposed to be a superfood with lots of benefits including energy boosting, fatigue blasting and its also supposed to be great for clearing skin - both of which I am in dire need! I'll keep you posted as to results!
@Sunflower: I hope you enjoyed your visit with your daughter!
@Palmer: I'm so glad you had a nice time with your friend and that you were able to socialise of Diet Cokes! I understand what you mean though about it being a little more challenging to make conversation in those sober interactions. I'm finding that I have to almost re-learn social skills for small talk and conversation as I can get so bored in people's company, and alcohol used to be my go-to for curing that boredom.
@Numblady: Fun in the sun over the weekend sounds awesome. I'm really sorry that your husband is being a bit challenging at the moment. I'm sure it can feel isolating at times. I definitely understand the feeling of restlessness. As I mentioned to @Palmer above, I'm finding it hard to engage in certain social situations and have definitely drifted lately into a state of not really having anything that really energises or excites me. Things just feel a little..nothing. I hope this lifts as we push through the first few months. I'm really sorry that you seem to be between a rock and a hard place with family and work commitments. That is never easy and can really feel like you're just being stretched in so many directions that there is no elasticity left to sustain your own being. If that makes any sense! I hope you can some to an arrangement re: work trip that feels comfortable and assuages that guilt somewhat. Perhaps try to put yourself first in the decision making process (I know, this is WAY harder to do in practise, and easy for me to say, right?) - but maybe if it's a situation where you feel governed by guilt on either end of the decision spectrum, this might be the perfect opportunity to take a 'damned if you do, damned if you don't' situation and use it to exercise some self care and kindness by putting your own needs first. Just a thought - and apologies if this suggestion is frustrating, I know sometimes well meant advice like this can be more irritating than anything, please know that is not how it is intended!
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Join Date: Dec 2017
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Hi all! Numblady, it seems like you got some good advice regarding your beach trip. It sounds like it could be very relaxing, with no kids or husbands demanding your attention (I know you have a family trip planned, but "we" will cross that bridge when we come to it). 
Question: You mentioned that you quit before, how long did you stay stopped? I made it for 8 months once, but that was years ago, and ever since it's just been short bouts of a few months here and there. I'm trying to crack the relapse code, as far as when, where, and how I've slipped up in the past, so I'm curious about other peoples' experiences in that regard.
NewChapter, I'm glad you're doing OK despite your husband's shenanigans. I do think it helps to laugh sometimes, because their reactions can just be so ridiculous. I'm intrigued by the bee pollen too, please let us know if it works as advertised!
Question: You mentioned that you quit before, how long did you stay stopped? I made it for 8 months once, but that was years ago, and ever since it's just been short bouts of a few months here and there. I'm trying to crack the relapse code, as far as when, where, and how I've slipped up in the past, so I'm curious about other peoples' experiences in that regard.NewChapter, I'm glad you're doing OK despite your husband's shenanigans. I do think it helps to laugh sometimes, because their reactions can just be so ridiculous. I'm intrigued by the bee pollen too, please let us know if it works as advertised!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 325
Hi everyone,
Things are a bit tricky with my son at the moment so haven’t been online much. I’m fine it’s just a bit of a challenge. No temptation to drink though.
I am thinking about you guys and hope to catch up properly soon
Things are a bit tricky with my son at the moment so haven’t been online much. I’m fine it’s just a bit of a challenge. No temptation to drink though.
I am thinking about you guys and hope to catch up properly soon
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 984
Good Afternoon Class!
@Numblady: I hope you got a little more uninterrupted time for your workout this morning!
Well this morning I could barely drag myself out of bed for lack of energy, as has been the unseemly theme lately. BUT I started my day off with my new superfood solution, adding my newly purchased Bee Pollen to my yogurt and fruit this morning, and going to attempt to cull the processed foods and sugar intake (no diets for aesthetics or weight loss, just trying to wrestle back control of my energy levels and mood!) over the next few days and see if I can notice any improvement!
Looks like my post crossed with Palmer and Scotty, so editing to say Hi!
@Palmer: I will keep you posted re: Operation Bee Pollen! Haha Regarding sobriety history, I’ve made it to 3 months a few times, maybe 4 months, and always relapsed thereafter. I think for me, the trigger to relapse has usually been boredom or malaise, so I really need to be vigilant at this stage as I approach the 4 month mark. I don’t feel like drinking at all, but I do feel that sense of anhedonia seeping in which could be a warning sign. Have you identified any trigger patterns for your past relapses?
@Scotty: I’m sorry things are challenging for you with your son right now. Thinking of you and sending positive energy and a huge hug! Please do check in even as a drive by here and there, just as an outlet and for some support!
@Numblady: I hope you got a little more uninterrupted time for your workout this morning!
Well this morning I could barely drag myself out of bed for lack of energy, as has been the unseemly theme lately. BUT I started my day off with my new superfood solution, adding my newly purchased Bee Pollen to my yogurt and fruit this morning, and going to attempt to cull the processed foods and sugar intake (no diets for aesthetics or weight loss, just trying to wrestle back control of my energy levels and mood!) over the next few days and see if I can notice any improvement!
Looks like my post crossed with Palmer and Scotty, so editing to say Hi!
@Palmer: I will keep you posted re: Operation Bee Pollen! Haha Regarding sobriety history, I’ve made it to 3 months a few times, maybe 4 months, and always relapsed thereafter. I think for me, the trigger to relapse has usually been boredom or malaise, so I really need to be vigilant at this stage as I approach the 4 month mark. I don’t feel like drinking at all, but I do feel that sense of anhedonia seeping in which could be a warning sign. Have you identified any trigger patterns for your past relapses?
@Scotty: I’m sorry things are challenging for you with your son right now. Thinking of you and sending positive energy and a huge hug! Please do check in even as a drive by here and there, just as an outlet and for some support!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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So I accidentally signed out of my SR account on my desktop and now I can’t get back in as I forget my password! I can’t change the password through my phone as I need the current password and I can’t access the email address I used to set up my profile on SR as I forget the password for that too and can’t recover it. I’ll keep trying, but looks like I may have to set up a new profile to keep posting here :-(
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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Originally Posted by NewChapterJan18 
Oh that would be wonderful - thanks Dee!! Forgive my ignorance, but to PM Anna, do I just go to Messages > Private Message and put ‘Anna’ in the ‘to’ field? Thank you!!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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Hi all! Will hopefully do a better catch up soon. NC thanks for all the advice here and in newcomer forum (same goes for Palmer and Dee as well)! Hi to everybody else but it’s time for me to get to sleep. It’s nigh on ten o’clock (to borrow Dee’s terminology 
)!
Scotty especially thinking of you. But really thinking of everyone and hoping all is well. Sleep tight sober buddies!
)!Scotty especially thinking of you. But really thinking of everyone and hoping all is well. Sleep tight sober buddies!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 984
Hi Class!
Missing some of our quieter peeps on here - please pop by for a check in if you can, no matter what is going on with you right now. We miss you and are here for you!
Had a bit of a crappy day yesterday for no one reason in particular other than just feeling a bit at sea at the moment. I need to take some time out to regroup, use some visualisation and write down some goals over the weekend as life just feels a little untethered at the moment - not in the sense of being out of control, but rather just a little directionless. Apart from sobriety, I'm not sure what I'm working towards, which means I'm just walking around with my head in the clouds, going through the motions and feeling as though I'm not accomplishing anything and time is just passing me by.
I don't feel like drinking, but I had a series of odd dreams last night and in one of them I woke up hungover and feeling awful, knowing I had been drinking but not remembering anything. It was a really horrible sensation and I was a little shook when I woke, though relieved it was just a dream. I think my subconscious might be warning me to stay vigilant as the malaise is taking over, and after our discussion around same on here a few days ago, I am wary of noticing any signs of a potential relapse so that they won't have the opportunity to sneak up on me!
I hope everyone is doing OK.
Missing some of our quieter peeps on here - please pop by for a check in if you can, no matter what is going on with you right now. We miss you and are here for you!
Had a bit of a crappy day yesterday for no one reason in particular other than just feeling a bit at sea at the moment. I need to take some time out to regroup, use some visualisation and write down some goals over the weekend as life just feels a little untethered at the moment - not in the sense of being out of control, but rather just a little directionless. Apart from sobriety, I'm not sure what I'm working towards, which means I'm just walking around with my head in the clouds, going through the motions and feeling as though I'm not accomplishing anything and time is just passing me by.
I don't feel like drinking, but I had a series of odd dreams last night and in one of them I woke up hungover and feeling awful, knowing I had been drinking but not remembering anything. It was a really horrible sensation and I was a little shook when I woke, though relieved it was just a dream. I think my subconscious might be warning me to stay vigilant as the malaise is taking over, and after our discussion around same on here a few days ago, I am wary of noticing any signs of a potential relapse so that they won't have the opportunity to sneak up on me!
I hope everyone is doing OK.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,916
NC, sorry I’m just now getting on here and getting back to posts from earlier but some of your descriptions just really hit.a chord. LIfe just feeling kind of ... nothing as you put it. And directionless other than not drinking. Maybe that’s okay given the focus on one year. But then I also think it’s more energizing to feel like we’re really breaking through the crap in ourselves that keeps us stuck. I think I probably should be going to meetings or something rather than passing out to the Big Book, which I read like two pages of every two weeks. But alas. If nothing else we can just not drink. On a somewhat lighter note I totally have days where I wake up worried I secretly drank in my sleep. Especially when I have headaches. I seriously wonder if I’ve become a sleep drinker.
Palmer, how are you holding up? I can’t believe you made it 8 months before. I mean, I can but for some reason I just thought it was a brief stint. I know everything’s relative but 8 months seems like a BIG deal. I did about 90 days one year. Kind of on a dare. I mean, not exactly a dare. I announced I was taking a month off in January one year and a good buddy said to others, why not go until Easter? And I said, why not?! And I did. It was a small taste of what I’m doing now but it was never even up for discussion that I might keep going ... or keep abstaining I guess would be more accurate .... past 90 days. I remember saying cavalierly that if I ever got back to where I was before I stopped I would know I really had a problem. And that I would never, ever, ever buy a box of wine again.
Until I did.
Until I bought a box and went through it in around 2 days.
Until 3 years had passed almost and I came back almost by accident. I don’t know how to explain it. It is what some might call grace. Spiritual people would call God. Others might call happy coincidence. But I had no plans whatsoever to stop. I just didn’t want to go back to it one day. And so far I’ve kept going. As you all know because I’m all up in here yapping about it as often as I can.
Husband is out getting drunk. Again. But this time it’s well not exactly legitimate because he has a reason to drink every day just like I used to. But in this instance a friend of his died suddenly as it turns out from a drug overdose. He had quite a few demons it seems and just couldn’t stay sober. Yet another reminder of the tragic tolls these drugs (including alcohol of course) exact. Working in child protection related field it’s also really just sad and horrific to hear some of the stories involving parents struggling.
So hug your babies and your spouses and your pets and your sweet, sweet life, I reckon.
Not much else to report. Kids both have a sleepover tomorrow which is super cool. Less cool because I’ll just be the Uber driver for my hubby but he’s a pretty all right guy and he buys me dinner. We’re supposed to go to the ballet but it looks like a kind of goofy one so if I have my way we may just hang out in a quiet house at least in part. Got a hard bike ride tomorrow morning. And then on Sunday we are going out to a friend’s ranch (where my son is having a sleepover Saturday). It’s a really cool place. And another chance to exorcise some demons. The last time I went out there I just drank all morning and was so tired driving home. I powered through it and had kept the kids all day only to find my husband used the free time to just go out and get drunk. Are you sensing a theme? I digress. This was mostly about my issues with drinking. I just didn’t want to stop. And I felt like such an out of control person. I mean, I wasn’t like a stumbling idiot or slurring or anything but just dumb. Not this year! I’m drinking a crap ton of coffee and my new favorite thing lemonade. Really it’s SO good.
I like NC am worrying about some of our peeps. All of us really (except Dee; I think he’s most solid). But especially our quieter, less frequent folks. Honestly that’s not even accurate. Thinking of everyone. Even Palmer is quiet. Which worries me!! I hope as many of us as possible are staying safe and sober out there. Good night sweet buddies!
Palmer, how are you holding up? I can’t believe you made it 8 months before. I mean, I can but for some reason I just thought it was a brief stint. I know everything’s relative but 8 months seems like a BIG deal. I did about 90 days one year. Kind of on a dare. I mean, not exactly a dare. I announced I was taking a month off in January one year and a good buddy said to others, why not go until Easter? And I said, why not?! And I did. It was a small taste of what I’m doing now but it was never even up for discussion that I might keep going ... or keep abstaining I guess would be more accurate .... past 90 days. I remember saying cavalierly that if I ever got back to where I was before I stopped I would know I really had a problem. And that I would never, ever, ever buy a box of wine again.
Until I did.
Until I bought a box and went through it in around 2 days.
Until 3 years had passed almost and I came back almost by accident. I don’t know how to explain it. It is what some might call grace. Spiritual people would call God. Others might call happy coincidence. But I had no plans whatsoever to stop. I just didn’t want to go back to it one day. And so far I’ve kept going. As you all know because I’m all up in here yapping about it as often as I can.
Husband is out getting drunk. Again. But this time it’s well not exactly legitimate because he has a reason to drink every day just like I used to. But in this instance a friend of his died suddenly as it turns out from a drug overdose. He had quite a few demons it seems and just couldn’t stay sober. Yet another reminder of the tragic tolls these drugs (including alcohol of course) exact. Working in child protection related field it’s also really just sad and horrific to hear some of the stories involving parents struggling.
So hug your babies and your spouses and your pets and your sweet, sweet life, I reckon.
Not much else to report. Kids both have a sleepover tomorrow which is super cool. Less cool because I’ll just be the Uber driver for my hubby but he’s a pretty all right guy and he buys me dinner
. We’re supposed to go to the ballet but it looks like a kind of goofy one so if I have my way we may just hang out in a quiet house at least in part. Got a hard bike ride tomorrow morning. And then on Sunday we are going out to a friend’s ranch (where my son is having a sleepover Saturday). It’s a really cool place. And another chance to exorcise some demons. The last time I went out there I just drank all morning and was so tired driving home. I powered through it and had kept the kids all day only to find my husband used the free time to just go out and get drunk. Are you sensing a theme? I digress. This was mostly about my issues with drinking. I just didn’t want to stop. And I felt like such an out of control person. I mean, I wasn’t like a stumbling idiot or slurring or anything but just dumb. Not this year! I’m drinking a crap ton of coffee and my new favorite thing lemonade. Really it’s SO good. I like NC am worrying about some of our peeps. All of us really (except Dee; I think he’s most solid
). But especially our quieter, less frequent folks. Honestly that’s not even accurate. Thinking of everyone. Even Palmer is quiet. Which worries me!! I hope as many of us as possible are staying safe and sober out there. Good night sweet buddies!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Not every day has been a good one since I got sober - but I'm a better person than I used to be and the up and downs have less effect on me now.
It took me a while to 'feel' again too.
I was at the point where I was just about resigned to feeling very little as the price I'd have to pay for being sober - but things got a lot better, in time
Keep the faith guys
It took me a while to 'feel' again too.
I was at the point where I was just about resigned to feeling very little as the price I'd have to pay for being sober - but things got a lot better, in time
Keep the faith guys
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