Class of January Support Thread 2018 Part 6
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 754
Good morning. It’s a stormy Friday and I’m headed to Costco. I am going to take my own advice and give myself some grace today. I am my own worst enemy.
Hope everyone is doing ok
Milly, Scotty, BT how are y’all?
Hope everyone is doing ok
Milly, Scotty, BT how are y’all?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 984
Hi All!
So apologies again for ghosting the forum the last couple days, things got a little busy with work and I was down to the wire for an assignment for my evening Diploma course which I had kind of left to the last minute (as always!). I was working on it straight through until 10pm last night, but i'm pretty happy with the final product and I know I gave my best, so here's hoping it's reflected in the grade! It was also a good refresher and practice for good old academic research, referencing and formatting ahead of commencing my Masters Degree in September!
@Scotty: It must be difficult to bite your tongue and try to make peace with your partners parenting choices when they clash with your own perspective, especially when you care for your partners children also! I suppose it's much like any relationship, when we disagree with the choices or decisions our partner, parents, children, friends, colleagues make, yet we know that we are limited in our authority or welcome to intervene or offer advice, so we have to just sit tight and support their decisions as best possible. It's tough!
@Numblady: I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling a bit ill and that things have mounted up. I hope the headaches have passed and that work and life are at least kicking your butt a little less! Your work trip sounds like a really difficult space to navigate, and I actually think I understand the sentiment you are trying to convey. It's difficult to come to terms with the realisation that sobriety doesn't just mean giving up alcohol - it also means giving up or letting go of certain constructs that we created around that lifestyle, elements of our life that had become so intertwined with our drinking habits that for so many of us, the personas we have carefully and painstakingly curated over the years are often codependent with our drinking patterns and more often, the driving force or influences for those habits. We are all having to face the demolition of those constructs now, and to evaluate their meaning and value for us, and learn to navigate the world without the masks of our past, if that makes sense? It can be easy and encouraging to retire some of those shrouds, but it can also be really hard to let go of some of the more purposeful characteristics and attributes, because we've come to depend on them, and even to define ourselves by them. Anyway, I hope I've understood a little of what you meant and not totally misread your post!
@Sunflower: I'm really happy to hear that you are being gentle with yourself and not being to harsh with your expectations. How did the meeting go, has it helped? I totally get what you mean by 'crazy brain' I've suffered from the BIG TIME over the last two weeks. Thankfully it seems to be dissipating now and I have some grasp on rationality again. I guess it's all part of the process, learning to ride out those waves and accept that they're a normal part of life rather than trying to numb them with alcohol.
@Palmer: Catering for 30 people? You are a SAINT. Being 'that mom' is pretty great if you ask me. The fact that you're even willing to partake in the activities is such a huge gesture. I don't know how you mommas do it all. Honestly, I feel like I barely get a minute and i only have myself and hubby to think about. I raise my cup (of water - lol!) to y'all! I'm sorry your son had a bad attitude - some day he'll look back and appreciate all you do! That meme about not knowing why you're tired etc. even though you eat and sleep badly etc. - I actually laughed out loud at that, it is SO true of me at the moment!! Wondering why I'm still carrying some pudge, lethargic and my skin is acting up. Hmmm..maybe because I'm only getting to bed at 1am and eating crap 24/7, drinking more diet coke than water? Lol.
I have to say, I've been doing some thinking, and @Sunflower's post about making sobriety the primary focus for the first year has really resonated with me. I think maybe I'm just trying to take on too much at once (something of which I'm regularly guilty), and the result is that i become overwhelmed and don't do particularly well at any of them. In that spirit, I've decided to narrow my focus to sobriety as a priority, with work and study thereafter. Weight loss, fitness, diet etc. are just going to have to take a back seat for now. I will try to do my best of course, and not use this as a 'free for all' pass, but rather use healthy eating and exercise as a tool for sobriety and mental health for now, and leave the weight loss and aesthetic focus until I am more stable in sobriety, work and life. I feel good about this decision, and I hope it means that I can perform better in the areas I am focusing on for now!
So apologies again for ghosting the forum the last couple days, things got a little busy with work and I was down to the wire for an assignment for my evening Diploma course which I had kind of left to the last minute (as always!). I was working on it straight through until 10pm last night, but i'm pretty happy with the final product and I know I gave my best, so here's hoping it's reflected in the grade! It was also a good refresher and practice for good old academic research, referencing and formatting ahead of commencing my Masters Degree in September!
@Scotty: It must be difficult to bite your tongue and try to make peace with your partners parenting choices when they clash with your own perspective, especially when you care for your partners children also! I suppose it's much like any relationship, when we disagree with the choices or decisions our partner, parents, children, friends, colleagues make, yet we know that we are limited in our authority or welcome to intervene or offer advice, so we have to just sit tight and support their decisions as best possible. It's tough!
@Numblady: I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling a bit ill and that things have mounted up. I hope the headaches have passed and that work and life are at least kicking your butt a little less! Your work trip sounds like a really difficult space to navigate, and I actually think I understand the sentiment you are trying to convey. It's difficult to come to terms with the realisation that sobriety doesn't just mean giving up alcohol - it also means giving up or letting go of certain constructs that we created around that lifestyle, elements of our life that had become so intertwined with our drinking habits that for so many of us, the personas we have carefully and painstakingly curated over the years are often codependent with our drinking patterns and more often, the driving force or influences for those habits. We are all having to face the demolition of those constructs now, and to evaluate their meaning and value for us, and learn to navigate the world without the masks of our past, if that makes sense? It can be easy and encouraging to retire some of those shrouds, but it can also be really hard to let go of some of the more purposeful characteristics and attributes, because we've come to depend on them, and even to define ourselves by them. Anyway, I hope I've understood a little of what you meant and not totally misread your post!
@Sunflower: I'm really happy to hear that you are being gentle with yourself and not being to harsh with your expectations. How did the meeting go, has it helped? I totally get what you mean by 'crazy brain' I've suffered from the BIG TIME over the last two weeks. Thankfully it seems to be dissipating now and I have some grasp on rationality again. I guess it's all part of the process, learning to ride out those waves and accept that they're a normal part of life rather than trying to numb them with alcohol.
@Palmer: Catering for 30 people? You are a SAINT. Being 'that mom' is pretty great if you ask me. The fact that you're even willing to partake in the activities is such a huge gesture. I don't know how you mommas do it all. Honestly, I feel like I barely get a minute and i only have myself and hubby to think about. I raise my cup (of water - lol!) to y'all! I'm sorry your son had a bad attitude - some day he'll look back and appreciate all you do! That meme about not knowing why you're tired etc. even though you eat and sleep badly etc. - I actually laughed out loud at that, it is SO true of me at the moment!! Wondering why I'm still carrying some pudge, lethargic and my skin is acting up. Hmmm..maybe because I'm only getting to bed at 1am and eating crap 24/7, drinking more diet coke than water? Lol.
I have to say, I've been doing some thinking, and @Sunflower's post about making sobriety the primary focus for the first year has really resonated with me. I think maybe I'm just trying to take on too much at once (something of which I'm regularly guilty), and the result is that i become overwhelmed and don't do particularly well at any of them. In that spirit, I've decided to narrow my focus to sobriety as a priority, with work and study thereafter. Weight loss, fitness, diet etc. are just going to have to take a back seat for now. I will try to do my best of course, and not use this as a 'free for all' pass, but rather use healthy eating and exercise as a tool for sobriety and mental health for now, and leave the weight loss and aesthetic focus until I am more stable in sobriety, work and life. I feel good about this decision, and I hope it means that I can perform better in the areas I am focusing on for now!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,914
Hey, hey, hey! Good evening!
Can I just say I got quite a kick earlier tonight after reading through posts and thinking, “Sunflower’s sponsor probably has no idea she’s got all these invisible sponsees reading her good advice here on SR!”
On a related note and speaking of showing grace to ourselves, I showed myself so much freaking grace tonight that I walked out of the house to go pick up a prescription for my son — and I nabbed a plastic spoon from our drawer to take with me — so I could plow throw a giant piece of chocolate cake in my mini van, parked at the grocery store parking lot? This is not a very good explanation but basically after interrupted sleep and distress on my son’s part since Monday I finally just went to the urgent care clinic to see if they could help us with his poison ivy. Which sounds ridiculous but after several nights of not sleeping well at all we were motivated and a little desperate. They did help us and they called in an rx for steroids. I went home and had dinner and husband was being kind of a patoot. And by kind of I mean really. So I left in a very irritated mood. But I remembered I had a half a piece of this gigantic slice of cake left and I’d forgotten it in my van. (I took it out of the fridge at the end of the day so it hadn’t been in there long at all). So, like any classy lady would do under the circumstances, I grabbed a plastic spoon to take with me so I could eat the cake from my van in the parking lot, undisturbed by children, husbands, cats or anything other than my own let’s just call it grace.
Today was interesting. I started off with an empowering yoga class about choosing to have.a good day. And I set an intention to not be put upon by the load I am carrying. Which I promptly followed with breaking my work computer (it will go nicely with my broken personal computer) by dumping my entire giant water on it in my bag without realizing it. Then had about 7 hours of boring and also annoying meetings. Then I found out I’ll get a small raise, which is super cool. And well then you know the whole cake part already
Now I am in bed trying to keep my eyes open. It is the very late hour of 9:30 p.m. after all.
Palmer, I actually read your post before my empowering yoga class and wanted to come back sooner. What a nice start to the day — just seeing your post but especially the part about noticing the unfurling of spring and all its beauty. Thank you also for helping me think about playing the tape forward. I think what I especially need to remember is not just the one night but like you say the chronic lifestyle of it. Even if I could have fun one night I’d get all habitual about it and end up as you say hungover and only partially functional each day.
Sunflower, thanks for letting me benefit from your sponsor and all you are learning.
NewChapter, you absolutely got my post and articulated it better than I ever could. You are going to be such a## bad a researching, source checking, articulating, writing fool when you start that Masters program. Except, you won’t be a fool. You know what I mean. What I am trying to say, and what I came back in part to edit, is that I think you are a really good writer.
Mmkay. Time for me to head toward bed.
HI to Dee and all others!
Can I just say I got quite a kick earlier tonight after reading through posts and thinking, “Sunflower’s sponsor probably has no idea she’s got all these invisible sponsees reading her good advice here on SR!”
On a related note and speaking of showing grace to ourselves, I showed myself so much freaking grace tonight that I walked out of the house to go pick up a prescription for my son — and I nabbed a plastic spoon from our drawer to take with me — so I could plow throw a giant piece of chocolate cake in my mini van, parked at the grocery store parking lot? This is not a very good explanation but basically after interrupted sleep and distress on my son’s part since Monday I finally just went to the urgent care clinic to see if they could help us with his poison ivy. Which sounds ridiculous but after several nights of not sleeping well at all we were motivated and a little desperate. They did help us and they called in an rx for steroids. I went home and had dinner and husband was being kind of a patoot. And by kind of I mean really. So I left in a very irritated mood. But I remembered I had a half a piece of this gigantic slice of cake left and I’d forgotten it in my van. (I took it out of the fridge at the end of the day so it hadn’t been in there long at all). So, like any classy lady would do under the circumstances, I grabbed a plastic spoon to take with me so I could eat the cake from my van in the parking lot, undisturbed by children, husbands, cats or anything other than my own let’s just call it grace.
Today was interesting. I started off with an empowering yoga class about choosing to have.a good day. And I set an intention to not be put upon by the load I am carrying. Which I promptly followed with breaking my work computer (it will go nicely with my broken personal computer) by dumping my entire giant water on it in my bag without realizing it. Then had about 7 hours of boring and also annoying meetings. Then I found out I’ll get a small raise, which is super cool. And well then you know the whole cake part already
Now I am in bed trying to keep my eyes open. It is the very late hour of 9:30 p.m. after all.
Palmer, I actually read your post before my empowering yoga class and wanted to come back sooner. What a nice start to the day — just seeing your post but especially the part about noticing the unfurling of spring and all its beauty. Thank you also for helping me think about playing the tape forward. I think what I especially need to remember is not just the one night but like you say the chronic lifestyle of it. Even if I could have fun one night I’d get all habitual about it and end up as you say hungover and only partially functional each day.
Sunflower, thanks for letting me benefit from your sponsor and all you are learning.
NewChapter, you absolutely got my post and articulated it better than I ever could. You are going to be such a## bad a researching, source checking, articulating, writing fool when you start that Masters program. Except, you won’t be a fool. You know what I mean. What I am trying to say, and what I came back in part to edit, is that I think you are a really good writer.
Mmkay. Time for me to head toward bed.
HI to Dee and all others!
Last edited by Numblady; 05-04-2018 at 07:41 PM. Reason: Cake clarification!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 984
Afternoon Class!
So my mother and father in law arrive today for a couple of days. They're staying at a hotel and not with us, but my husband is a bit on edge as he's such a perfectionist when it comes to hosting people or showing them around. He had a whole plan of where to bring them and what to do, primarily dependant on the weather being good as it has been, and unfortunately the weather is as bad as its been since we got here and the forecast isn't great for the rest of the weekend. Oh well. I hope it doesn't impact the visit too much.
I had a client cancel this morning which meant I got to lie in which was desperately needed. I'm so fed up of this intense lethargy, my body clock just feels all over the place. Will be making it my mission next week to get to bed much earlier and force myself to rise early and get some exercise in before work to create a good routine and generate some energy!
@Numblady: I am so happy that you showed yourself some Grace and treated yourself to the well and truly deserved cake. It's the little things in life! I hope that the steroids help to alleviate your sons symptoms somewhat and that your husbands mood improves! I'm sorry to hear about your computer, especially after such a positive start with the power yoga class! I hope a good night's sleep helped. Congratulations on the raise!! From what I can garner, if anyone deserves one, its you and your crazy hard working ethic! I really appreciate your kind comments about my writing and the Masters program - thank you for the support and encouragement!!
@Scotty: I hope things aren't too hectic and that you're managing to take care of yourself amidst the craziness of work and travel. Keep checking in, if only in drive by!
Hoping everyone else out there doing OK! Milly and BTLover, how you been??
Hi @Sunflower, @Palmer, @Dee!!
So my mother and father in law arrive today for a couple of days. They're staying at a hotel and not with us, but my husband is a bit on edge as he's such a perfectionist when it comes to hosting people or showing them around. He had a whole plan of where to bring them and what to do, primarily dependant on the weather being good as it has been, and unfortunately the weather is as bad as its been since we got here and the forecast isn't great for the rest of the weekend. Oh well. I hope it doesn't impact the visit too much.
I had a client cancel this morning which meant I got to lie in which was desperately needed. I'm so fed up of this intense lethargy, my body clock just feels all over the place. Will be making it my mission next week to get to bed much earlier and force myself to rise early and get some exercise in before work to create a good routine and generate some energy!
@Numblady: I am so happy that you showed yourself some Grace and treated yourself to the well and truly deserved cake. It's the little things in life! I hope that the steroids help to alleviate your sons symptoms somewhat and that your husbands mood improves! I'm sorry to hear about your computer, especially after such a positive start with the power yoga class! I hope a good night's sleep helped. Congratulations on the raise!! From what I can garner, if anyone deserves one, its you and your crazy hard working ethic! I really appreciate your kind comments about my writing and the Masters program - thank you for the support and encouragement!!
@Scotty: I hope things aren't too hectic and that you're managing to take care of yourself amidst the craziness of work and travel. Keep checking in, if only in drive by!
Hoping everyone else out there doing OK! Milly and BTLover, how you been??
Hi @Sunflower, @Palmer, @Dee!!
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
Hi all! Numblady, I think I can call it a day, because your post about the cake made my entire weekend. I also love the quote, "I will not be put upon by the load I am carrying." I read that and realized that I'm constantly put upon, playing the martyr and relentlessly adding imaginary "must-dos" which are actually only must-dos to me. I stress and obsess about a lot of things which really mean very little to other people, yet I find myself resenting them, instead of recognizing myself as the manager of my own time, moods, life. We're having friends over tonight, so as I prepare I'll definitely keep repeating that mantra.
NewChapter, I absolutely love that you have taken Sunflower's sponsor's message to heart, and I totally need to do the same. I think we're all such overachievers that we tend to forget how new our sobriety actually is. I checked an online date counter recently, and it said that I've been sober for something like 19 weeks. I thought, that's it?! Only 19 weekends? But it serves as a reminder that we were in hell fairly recently...so the fact that we are still sober, adopting a few new good habits even if we don't have ALL the good habits, is exactly where we need to be.
I had a nice moment yesterday. Since I have a long commute and spend a lot of time in my car, I listen to quite a few podcasts, and I discovered one about Bravo shows (how dare you judge me, all of my other podcasts are from NPR!) Anyway, it is so funny that I was literally crying laughing, which really brought me back to my old self, before alcohol numbed me out into a miserable, essentially humorless existence. I'll take these small moments as a sign of what's to come, if I stay on my current path and continually look for ways to incrementally move towards the person I ultimately want to be.
Milly, if you're out there, please check in! We miss you!
NewChapter, I absolutely love that you have taken Sunflower's sponsor's message to heart, and I totally need to do the same. I think we're all such overachievers that we tend to forget how new our sobriety actually is. I checked an online date counter recently, and it said that I've been sober for something like 19 weeks. I thought, that's it?! Only 19 weekends? But it serves as a reminder that we were in hell fairly recently...so the fact that we are still sober, adopting a few new good habits even if we don't have ALL the good habits, is exactly where we need to be.
I had a nice moment yesterday. Since I have a long commute and spend a lot of time in my car, I listen to quite a few podcasts, and I discovered one about Bravo shows (how dare you judge me, all of my other podcasts are from NPR!
) Anyway, it is so funny that I was literally crying laughing, which really brought me back to my old self, before alcohol numbed me out into a miserable, essentially humorless existence. I'll take these small moments as a sign of what's to come, if I stay on my current path and continually look for ways to incrementally move towards the person I ultimately want to be.Milly, if you're out there, please check in! We miss you!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 984
Hi @Palmer,
I think you are absolutely right regarding the over achieving streak in many of us here. It's interesting that so many of us in this class seem to struggle with and demonstrate similar propensities for taking on excessive workloads and activities, and a shared inclination for harsh self criticism derived from the high expectations of ourselves. Your post made me realise how this may be feeding into a mindset of overwhelming and I recognise a lot of myself in your comments about putting that pressure on ourselves and resenting others without perhaps taking responsibility for that pressure as it starts and stops with us. Thank you for effectively holding up a mirror of clarity!
19 weekends - WOW. That's crazy. It feels like an age since i've had a drink, but in reality, and relatively, it's really just a drop in the ocean, and that's really something we need to keep in mind at this early stage for so many reasons! As you put so eloquently, even if we haven't adapted in all of the ways that we hope to, we are at least on the right track and making progress, however fast or slow is irrelevant - it's the direction that counts!
I also love your anecdote about connecting with your old sense and reawakening that simple pleasure of just laughing and being free to be goofy and enjoy the simple, silly things in life. I hope to be able to recreate that part of my personality too, and push past the morose, anhedonic and anxious cloud that seems to sometimes accumulate in the midst of early sobriety. What a positive and hopeful note to pitch on a sober Saturday!
I hope everyone else is doing OK out there - please check in over the weekend if you can, even if just for a drive by!
I think you are absolutely right regarding the over achieving streak in many of us here. It's interesting that so many of us in this class seem to struggle with and demonstrate similar propensities for taking on excessive workloads and activities, and a shared inclination for harsh self criticism derived from the high expectations of ourselves. Your post made me realise how this may be feeding into a mindset of overwhelming and I recognise a lot of myself in your comments about putting that pressure on ourselves and resenting others without perhaps taking responsibility for that pressure as it starts and stops with us. Thank you for effectively holding up a mirror of clarity!
19 weekends - WOW. That's crazy. It feels like an age since i've had a drink, but in reality, and relatively, it's really just a drop in the ocean, and that's really something we need to keep in mind at this early stage for so many reasons! As you put so eloquently, even if we haven't adapted in all of the ways that we hope to, we are at least on the right track and making progress, however fast or slow is irrelevant - it's the direction that counts!
I also love your anecdote about connecting with your old sense and reawakening that simple pleasure of just laughing and being free to be goofy and enjoy the simple, silly things in life. I hope to be able to recreate that part of my personality too, and push past the morose, anhedonic and anxious cloud that seems to sometimes accumulate in the midst of early sobriety. What a positive and hopeful note to pitch on a sober Saturday!
I hope everyone else is doing OK out there - please check in over the weekend if you can, even if just for a drive by!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,914
Hey dudes and dudettes! About to head to bed. Hoping that tonight will be the night my son doesn’t wake me up for a poison ivy report. Last night he came in and again and this morning doesn’t even remember doing it so I’m afraid he’s formed some kind of habit. Eeek. Love my kids but I view the time period of my life when I was up so much during the night as a very dark one. I really do live in mortal fear of going back to it. Anyhow, I digress. Was a pretty good day. We are doing screen free week as I mentioned before I think and that is definitely a mixed bag. LIttle pockets of sheer joy experiencing my children. Interspersed with some serious complaint sessions. But today in between the jonesing for screens (yes I even told them one day at a time, one hour at a time, even just 5 minutes at a time) we got some work done in the yard, went to a spring festival at their school, played lots of family games, to the point that they were both talking about how fun the day was once it was coming to a close. Tomorrow it’s bike ride then going to some friends’ neighborhood pool, then giving up on screen free week early.
Scotty, hope to see you back soon. LIfe sounds nutty. Love hearing your catch ups when you can!
NC, I so hear you on the lethargy. I’m about to go have my iron levels checked or something. I hope you are able to level out and find some relief. I’m sure the stressful life of a perfectionist probably doesn’t help.
Palmer, ha! Glad you got a kick out of the cake post. It was hard to explain just how ridiculous but also amused I felt at myself. Speaking of amused, loved your little bit about the podcast. I have had a couple of moments where I thought, oh yeah, maybe this is a taste of what it can be. One time laying on the trampoline looking up at the sky and enjoying a beautiful day with my daughter (this lasted about two minutes before she started jumping by my head but oh well!) and one evening by a fire my husband built thinking, this is so relaxing and I’m having nothing to drink (I may have posted). I mean, there have been others but there are a couple that stand out for feeling so happy without missing booze. I think you are also talking about something more. Getting back to the childlike pre-booze state where you are more your authentic self. there’s a chapter in one ofthe sobriety memoirs I really liked about the author looking at a picture of her young self. I can’t remember exact age. Maybe 11, maybe 8, maybe 13. But just trying to think about what kind of life she would want to tell that girl she would grow up to have.
Speaking of memoirs, at one time I recommended Wild. It’s still a really good book but I wouldn’t call it an ode to sobriety or anything. There are definitely some scenes singing the praises of alcohol so if anyone was tempted to read it for any reason I’d still say it’s worth a read but you’ll definitely feel longing in some places. Or I did.
Okay missing lots of members and hope to see and hear from them soon regardless of what’s going on. Good night all!
Scotty, hope to see you back soon. LIfe sounds nutty. Love hearing your catch ups when you can!
NC, I so hear you on the lethargy. I’m about to go have my iron levels checked or something. I hope you are able to level out and find some relief. I’m sure the stressful life of a perfectionist probably doesn’t help
. Palmer, ha! Glad you got a kick out of the cake post. It was hard to explain just how ridiculous but also amused I felt at myself. Speaking of amused, loved your little bit about the podcast. I have had a couple of moments where I thought, oh yeah, maybe this is a taste of what it can be. One time laying on the trampoline looking up at the sky and enjoying a beautiful day with my daughter (this lasted about two minutes before she started jumping by my head but oh well!) and one evening by a fire my husband built thinking, this is so relaxing and I’m having nothing to drink (I may have posted). I mean, there have been others but there are a couple that stand out for feeling so happy without missing booze. I think you are also talking about something more. Getting back to the childlike pre-booze state where you are more your authentic self. there’s a chapter in one ofthe sobriety memoirs I really liked about the author looking at a picture of her young self. I can’t remember exact age. Maybe 11, maybe 8, maybe 13. But just trying to think about what kind of life she would want to tell that girl she would grow up to have.
Speaking of memoirs, at one time I recommended Wild. It’s still a really good book but I wouldn’t call it an ode to sobriety or anything. There are definitely some scenes singing the praises of alcohol so if anyone was tempted to read it for any reason I’d still say it’s worth a read but you’ll definitely feel longing in some places. Or I did.
Okay missing lots of members and hope to see and hear from them soon regardless of what’s going on. Good night all!
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
Hi all, I read everyone's posts this morning, but somehow forgot to post myself! NewChapter, I'm glad we all seem to relate around the issue of self-imposed stress. I totally indulged in that last night, even though I vowed to repeat Numblady's mantra: "I will not be put upon by the load I am carrying." I was able to be somewhat relaxed about the condition of my house and the presentation of the food, but not really. I also struggled a bit to make conversation with one of my friends, which never seemed to be a problem in the past, although I was usually drinking, which often helped me. She isn't a big drinker and drank diet Coke with me last night, which was nice. This morning, I slept in until 9:30 and it was HEAVEN.
Numblady, you're my hero with a screen-free week (even a day would be a challenge over here!) I always run into trouble because they have to do their homework online, which leads right into playing games, etc.
Numblady, you're my hero with a screen-free week (even a day would be a challenge over here!) I always run into trouble because they have to do their homework online, which leads right into playing games, etc.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,914
Hi all!
Sunflower safe (and enjoyable) travels! And sorry I didn’t even give you a shout out last time I posted. My fingers didn’t keep up with my brain. Or something like that. My brain is so tired I have a hard time imagining it besting anything but whatever.
Palmer and others, I am so glad we can all relate on the self-imposed martyrdom. It breeds so much resentment. I’m failing at being cool about it today. Though today it’s more out and out irritation with my husband. He just seems so irritated so often. It’s lonely.
Was out in the sun way too much today which was actually pretty nice but I”m spent. First the bike ride and then later pool hopping. It was kind of the first day I think a lot of families in the neighborhood we were visiting came out to their pools. Kind of the first official hot day. Water was cold but it was fun to be out.
Sorry to be a dud today. I’m just in a crap mood with my husband. I want to like him more but it’s not working at all lately. So I’m going to go read and get some sleep then hopefully get up in time to do yoga before the kids wake up. That is if they ever go to sleep. Mr. Poison Ivy himself is laying in here because he can’t sleep in his own bed somehow. Because of poison ivy???
I need a nap that lasts a week. Xxxooo
Sunflower safe (and enjoyable) travels! And sorry I didn’t even give you a shout out last time I posted. My fingers didn’t keep up with my brain. Or something like that. My brain is so tired I have a hard time imagining it besting anything but whatever.
Palmer and others, I am so glad we can all relate on the self-imposed martyrdom. It breeds so much resentment. I’m failing at being cool about it today. Though today it’s more out and out irritation with my husband. He just seems so irritated so often. It’s lonely.
Was out in the sun way too much today which was actually pretty nice but I”m spent. First the bike ride and then later pool hopping. It was kind of the first day I think a lot of families in the neighborhood we were visiting came out to their pools. Kind of the first official hot day. Water was cold but it was fun to be out.
Sorry to be a dud today. I’m just in a crap mood with my husband. I want to like him more but it’s not working at all lately. So I’m going to go read and get some sleep then hopefully get up in time to do yoga before the kids wake up. That is if they ever go to sleep. Mr. Poison Ivy himself is laying in here because he can’t sleep in his own bed somehow. Because of poison ivy???
I need a nap that lasts a week. Xxxooo
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
Hi all, checking in on a chilly Monday! I notice myself becoming less and less vigilant about checking and posting on SR first thing. It seems small, but I'm trying to notice all the little things that start to slip as they often signal a shift in my mindset.
Numblady, I'm sorry your husband is being so draining, I know how annoying that can be. Not to mention Mr. Poison Ivy (sounds like a terrible superhero who just complains all the time!) I hope you woke up for yoga this morning, or slept in instead!
Time to wake up kids and get this party started...
Numblady, I'm sorry your husband is being so draining, I know how annoying that can be. Not to mention Mr. Poison Ivy (sounds like a terrible superhero who just complains all the time!) I hope you woke up for yoga this morning, or slept in instead!
Time to wake up kids and get this party started...
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,914
Palmer I think it’s so wise of you to notice the little differences. I sort of have been feeling more aggro and self pitying lately but can’t quite put my finger on concrete differences.
But I am up for yoga so that’s a start I suppose! And found a class about not playing the victim card and gaining strength. We’ll see how it goes!
But I am up for yoga so that’s a start I suppose! And found a class about not playing the victim card and gaining strength. We’ll see how it goes!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,914
Ha. Well this is a pretty easy catch-up .
Not much to report here. Feeling a little restless in my sobriety but also just focusing on not drinking. Got some bad financial news today to offset the good news of raise but i’m just sticking with mantra of trying to focus on sobriety. Financial fitness and better eating can come later. Speaking of sobriety, I’m going to post on the newcomer forum for advice about my upcoming beach trip with my girlfriends but your advice is most heartily welcomed.
Just told my daughter good night. I’ve created a small me. She said she forgot to write the fairies again and let out an exasperated “I just have so much to do!” Ack! She’s seven! Her responsibilities are eating her breakfast and tying her shoes. Hard to imagine what it will be like in a few years.
Hope all are getting on okay! Post and let us know.
. Not much to report here. Feeling a little restless in my sobriety but also just focusing on not drinking. Got some bad financial news today to offset the good news of raise but i’m just sticking with mantra of trying to focus on sobriety. Financial fitness and better eating can come later. Speaking of sobriety, I’m going to post on the newcomer forum for advice about my upcoming beach trip with my girlfriends but your advice is most heartily welcomed.
Just told my daughter good night. I’ve created a small me. She said she forgot to write the fairies again and let out an exasperated “I just have so much to do!” Ack! She’s seven! Her responsibilities are eating her breakfast and tying her shoes. Hard to imagine what it will be like in a few years.
Hope all are getting on okay! Post and let us know.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
Hi all (or at least Numblady, guess it's you and me, kid!) Honestly, your daughter sounds like a riot, she is obviously so smart and enterprising...but I can see how it could be exhausting to parent a tiny adult, ha! I'm sorry about the bad financial news, but it seems like you are trying to take it in stride, which is a good thing.
I can totally relate about feeling restless in sobriety. I feel like I'm in a constant state of gratitude/peace/lethargy/feeling-like-something-big-is-missing/malaise. And as we've talked about so many times, there's no off switch anymore, although sleeping is the closest thing I've found (going to bed sober STILL hasn't gotten old). Sometimes I wonder if it's PAWS...other times I remind myself that I felt a lot better when I had healthier habits.
I hope people come back and check in soon!
Honestly, your daughter sounds like a riot, she is obviously so smart and enterprising...but I can see how it could be exhausting to parent a tiny adult, ha! I'm sorry about the bad financial news, but it seems like you are trying to take it in stride, which is a good thing.I can totally relate about feeling restless in sobriety. I feel like I'm in a constant state of gratitude/peace/lethargy/feeling-like-something-big-is-missing/malaise. And as we've talked about so many times, there's no off switch anymore, although sleeping is the closest thing I've found (going to bed sober STILL hasn't gotten old). Sometimes I wonder if it's PAWS...other times I remind myself that I felt a lot better when I had healthier habits.
I hope people come back and check in soon!
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 754
Morning ladies. No news really from me. Just wanted to say hello 👋🏻
NumbLady I’m sorry about the financial news. I know how stressful that can be
Palmer im definitely feeling the restlessness. I’ve had to up my meetings.
NumbLady I’m sorry about the financial news. I know how stressful that can be
Palmer im definitely feeling the restlessness. I’ve had to up my meetings.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 984
Hi All!
Sorry I’ve been a little quiet - we’ve been non stop entertaining my husbands parents while they’ve been visiting, so haven’t had a moment to myself to catch up. They leave today though, so will be back tonight to catch up properly.
Sorry I’ve been a little quiet - we’ve been non stop entertaining my husbands parents while they’ve been visiting, so haven’t had a moment to myself to catch up. They leave today though, so will be back tonight to catch up properly.
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