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Class of January Support Thread 2018 Part 6

Old 05-01-2018, 03:13 AM
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Full moons can do crazy things Sunflower but I don't think you're any crazier than the rest of us

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Old 05-01-2018, 04:57 AM
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Absolutely, @Dee!!
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Old 05-01-2018, 05:04 AM
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Hi all, checking in on this bright and cool morning. For the first time since 12/18 (I think), I left the house without signing in to SR! I have an early meeting, and I opted for 30 extra minutes of sleep instead. Lately, I am always exhausted, seemingly for no good reason. Well, the fact that I'm up reading until all hours probably doesn't help... I also feel slightly nauseous from taking a bunch of vitamins on an empty stomach, and all I have in my bag is chocolate. Great start to the day, huh?
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Old 05-01-2018, 05:21 AM
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@Palmer: I hear you on the lack of energy front - I'm so lethargic these days also, and my husband had to practically kick me out of bed again this morning to go for my morning run! Doing OK on the eating front but still having major cravings for chocolate and sweets, wishing i could binge!! I really hope this spell passes soon and i feel energised and motivated on the eating/exercise/work fronts - for now, it's just fake it 'til we make it I guess!! The late nights for me have been down to Netflix. I need to break the habit of staying up late watching shows and try to get to bed earlier. I hope your meeting goes well!
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Old 05-01-2018, 05:41 AM
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Hi gang how is everyone doing? Sunflower especially sorry I didn’t get back here yesterday. I think I started to glance at the class forum yesterday and the rest is kind of a blur. A sober blur but I’m exhausted. Got home. Gave Lots of love and as much patience as I could to my kids then worked until almost midnight on a deadline. All while my son got up having a meltdown around 11 because he has poison ivy. It was tough and this morning was tougher. They were both in pretty rotten states. My son improved but my daughter left saying she would have a horrible day like she always does. Feels a little unrelenting right now and I woke with a horrible headache wanting to puke again. It’s either dehydration or sugar. I guess both in my control but I’m not super ready to deal with sugar yet. So more water it is!

Hope to be back later. It’s screen free week so at least while I’m around my kids I’ll be minimizing use. Of course I can’t really read or post when they’re with me anyhow since they are so full of energy so you may not notice my “screen free” habits.

Hope today gets better Palmer. And that today is better than yesterday Sunflower. And that energy returns NC. And that some of our old and new friends come back and let us know how they are.

Dee, loved your pithy perfect post re full moon!

Have a great day out there!
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Old 05-01-2018, 06:51 AM
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@Numblady: I'm sorry to hear you are in the exhaustion brigade too! I hope your son feels better soon and that your daughter's day went a little better than she had anticipated. I love the idea of a 'screen free' week and its such a wonderful value to instil in your kids. I think we're all struggling a little on the sugar front these days. Hopefully we can all beat this slump soon! Have a great day.
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Old 05-01-2018, 07:04 AM
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Good morning. Looks like I’m not the only one struggling.

NumbLady I’m glad you made it home. I want to hear all about your trip and your convo with your husband.
Palmer and NewChapter I’m sorry about the exhaustion. I hope you both get to feeling better.
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Old 05-01-2018, 11:51 AM
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Just popping in quickly on my way to work. Wish I had more time.

Sunflower, I’ve read so many times that moving homes is one of the most stressful life challenges and you have looked, found and moved into a new home all while newly sober, no wonder you have some overwhelmed feelings as the stress of all of that affects you. In a big move like that you can totally deplete serotonin levels in a brain that is currently rewiring itself to be sober. Far from anything being wrong with you, your feelings sound 100% natural, of course they are not pleasant, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. As others have said, let yourself feek what you feel, ride that wave of emotion, the bathtub is a much safer place than my chosen moments to have a wee cry which is while waiting at traffic lights!

@Palmer and Numblady - partners eh? I told mine he was in a poisonous mood and hung up on him last night. Now of course comes the awkward ‘make up’ phone call. He and I deal with stress very differently, most of the time I can cheer him out of a difficult mood, but when I am tired sometimes his negativity (not aimed at me, just life in general) can be draining. He’s a lovely man, usually full of fun, but he does have dark moods at times and living apart means the phone is not the easiest way to communicate at those times.

I know ours is an unorthodox relationship anyway, but I do realise he and I are ‘together, but separate’ when it comes to our life journey. I worry about his sons, but parenting them is not my job and while I don’t understand some of his parenting choices they are his to make. It is hard to be with a person and not judge them at times, especially when their choices affect us too.

Sobriety brings many gifts, but the clarity it brings to certain realities in our lives doesn’t take away the challenges.

In other news my partner left a huge chocolate bar behind at the weekend, I ate the whole thing in one evening and now plan to buy another to replace it to hide my ‘crime’ lol
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Old 05-01-2018, 07:26 PM
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HI everyone! Just.a very quick drive by for me. My headache ended up getting worse and since I apply the same “if a little is good a lot is better” philosophy to drugs (OTC, non-rx ibuprofen, that kind of stuff) I think I made myself kind of ill. I had the good fortune of having basically no must-attend meetings this afternoon so I came home and crashed for two hours. Insane. I’m really glad I did because it was another rough night with the kids. Some really sweet bright spots and joy but a lot of consternation.

Work and life kicking my butt. Hoping all will be better in light of day and I can do a better catch up soon.

Sleep tight buddies!
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Old 05-02-2018, 06:24 AM
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Good morning everyone.
NumbLady I’m sorry you’re struggling with the kids. Big hug to you. You’ve got a lot on your plate.

I’m headed to a book group this morning. We are reading The Red Sea Rules. I’m enjoying it. Then a meeting after. I haven’t been to one in a couple of weeks and I can feel it. I’ve got crazy brain going on.

Check in people. Hope you’re all doing ok.
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Old 05-02-2018, 12:45 PM
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Hi all, checking in a bit late again today. I had a really early, busy morning at work and now I'm getting ready to host dinner for one of my kids' activities. They always make a big deal about the importance of preparing a meal, being a good example to kids, serving it together, etc. For 30 people. On a weeknight. Sooo, I'm "that mom" and I'll be stopping by the caterer. I know it's super lame, and I feel really guilty, but at least I know it will taste good. Did I mention that I feel really guilty? Plus I'll be running around like crazy anyway trying to get this done on time. Wish me luck!
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Old 05-02-2018, 04:15 PM
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Originally Posted by PalmerSage View Post
Hi all, checking in a bit late again today. I had a really early, busy morning at work and now I'm getting ready to host dinner for one of my kids' activities. They always make a big deal about the importance of preparing a meal, being a good example to kids, serving it together, etc. For 30 people. On a weeknight. Sooo, I'm "that mom" and I'll be stopping by the caterer. I know it's super lame, and I feel really guilty, but at least I know it will taste good. Did I mention that I feel really guilty? Plus I'll be running around like crazy anyway trying to get this done on time. Wish me luck!
Guilty? No need. I’ve been that mom so many times. Enjoy tonight. 😊
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Old 05-02-2018, 04:19 PM
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Well, the dinner was fine although my son had the worst attitude. It was honestly embarrassing, and it's hard not to get sucked into the crazy. Still, I had some nice conversations and everyone seemed OK with the fact that I hadn't cooked. I hope everyone is doing well.
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Old 05-02-2018, 07:30 PM
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Well hello out there!

Worked late as usual for Wednesday. But here I am for at least a quick catch up.

Palmer, I’m impressed you even took on a catered dinner for 30. I basically avoid activities for my own precious children just because it’s too big a commitment. Seriously! They get one activity each. That’s it. And if it comes with a lot of parental involvement I probably won’t do it, period. Thank you as well for the supportive words on my husband situation. I think part of the complaint I had on date night was just that other people could see how much he was drinking. That shouldn’t really matter but for some reason the judgment factor when he was drinking double what it seemed the rest of the world was and then some made me judgy.

Sunflower, hope the meeting went well and it helps you beat some of the malaise and sadness you were feeling the other day. Again, sorry I wasn’t here for support. I echo others in saying your feelings are real. I just try to tell myself they are real even if I question the validity of the ones I have when I feel like I shouldn’t. But also they will pass. I’m saying this as much to myself as anyone since I”m in one of those overwhelmed frames of mind.

Scotty, that has to be so tough. To worry about your partner’s children but know they are his to parent. You’re handling it well and I personally woudln’t have even replaced the chocolate evidence

NewChapter, I don’t even know what the Jinx is, if that makes you feel any less behind the times. Thank you for the supportive, kind words on the husband front. I do think we’re both coming from an overall decent place, and I think you’re right we could each grow in the direction of the other (not in totally quitting or resuming but like you say him possibly drinking less and me getting more comfortable). But most importantly, I’m so glad you noticed my eyeballs

Hi BTLover, Dee, Milly and everyone else!

This sober buddy is headed to bed. Talk to you all soon!
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Old 05-03-2018, 03:28 AM
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Hey all, thanks so much for making me feel better about the dinner. I can be so ridiculous about these things sometimes. The funny thing is, when I was drinking I would have absolutely killed myself to make something to impress people (sad, I know!) but I'm definitely more balanced in sobriety, even though it probably doesn't seem that way. I still have so much work to do, though. Obviously!

Another busy day is planned for today. This week is killing me. I saw a funny meme yesterday, basically saying that someone eats really poorly, doesn't exercise, completely stresses out, and has irregular sleep patterns, and can't figure out why they feel bad? That's me lately. I feel like I'm saying that over and over, but simply can't motivate myself to change.

Another early meeting an hour away, so I'm off. I promise to properly check in and actually respond to people soon! Thanks for listening all.
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Old 05-03-2018, 03:53 AM
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Good morning.
Palmer this is what my sponsor told me and it really resonates with me. She said stay sober for a year and if you make it one year without picking up a drink then start tackling the other stuff. Because honestly if we drink none of the other stuff will matter anyways. Sobriety must be number one.
This always helps me when I’m being hard on myself for eating bad or not working out. 💕
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Old 05-03-2018, 12:27 PM
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Evening All! I’m so sorry I’ve been MIA - it’s been a hectic couple of days! I promise I’ll be back tomorrow to catch up and post. Take care!
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Old 05-03-2018, 07:21 PM
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Miss hearing from all of y’all — but this sure makes catch-up easier .

Sunflower/Palmer, I really like the idea of just focusing on not drinking for a year. I know there is so much more to the AA program but just to oversimplify for my purposes...I have definitely felt pretty ok with where I am in terms of not eating better, not upping the working out too much (though I have managed to be more consistent what with the lack of hangovers and all). But I have been trying to exercise some financial fitness and that’s not going so well. I’m trying to give myself some permission to not have it all together but also not go overboard thinking I have lots of money I don’t actually have. It’s so easy to get carried away with credit. Because things come up that you need for your house. Or your pets get sick. Or you accidentally underpay your taxes on your rent house to the tune of 5k. Etc, etc, etc. I really was liking the idea of paying my debts and doing nothing on credit but well I think I’m already flunking that. I guess all by way of saying I’m not totally giving myself a free pass but trying to eat the elephant in smaller chunks.

Apropos of nothing have been thinking of the tail end of my NOLA trip. It’s me and like eight men having lunch after our hearing—and half of them were drinking. With two of them then going on to even more drinking and a fancy lunch. I have had several times where I too miss being the fun loving hard drinking girl. Though I don’t know why. That doesn’t actually make people like you more. Well, maybe people who like us could have some problem habits. But why do I mourn the possibility of being this heavy drinker? And tasting bourbon with these people from work? Or having drinks with the guys in New Orleans? I”m not doing a great job of explaining it but I guess that was the persona I cultivated all these years. Maybe that’s why I care about the fact that I have to shed it. I feel like I am saying the most stupid obvious words ever spoken but I’m not stopping! I guess this is just all part of the process.

I’ve just written and erased a sentence like five times because I basically can’t explain what I’m trying to say so I’m giving up for now!

NC, sorry things are so hectic.

Wondering how others are. Well, I’m — you may be shocked — tired. I know that is so different from my other posts. Oh well. At least I’m consistent. Sleep tight all!
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Old 05-03-2018, 09:18 PM
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I hope everyone is doing OK too

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Old 05-04-2018, 03:32 AM
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Hi all! I'm sitting here drinking my coffee looking out the window, and it seems like everything has become green and leafy overnight! It's so beautiful. I really need to practice more gratitude and notice things like that.

Numblady, your trip sounds like it could be kind of challenging. And I don't think your post sounds obvious at all, in fact I just don't think it would be normal to not occasionally miss the "old you," even if the old you was mostly problematic as it related to drinking. Of course, there were positive elements or there would have been no reason to tolerate the many negatives, right? I think the trick is to not romanticize the beginning without thinking it through to the inevitable conclusion. If you went out drinking with those guys, would it be embarrassing, or would you be hungover and exhausted the next day, unable to fully function? (the latter always happened to me, especially towards the end of my drinking).

Sunflower, I've heard the same thing about one year, thank you so much for the reminder. Even though I think I'm slacking off related to all the things I think I "should" be doing, you're so right that sobriety is everything.

Well, I guess I should get myself into the office (after I make breakfasts, pack the lunches, etc. etc.) Luckily, my coffee is starting to kick in so I'm ready to do this! Have a great day, everyone.
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