Class of January Support Thread 2018 Part 3
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 754
Originally Posted by ubntubnt 
Yeah, thats usually what gets me. Walking past a bar and out of nowhere the AV says "ah, a nice cold beer, its summer" or "remember those summer evenings sharing a nice chilled bottle of wine or champagne" or "you just paid for a really nice steak, c'mon you know a steak is pointless without a nice bottle of red" and on and on.
But's its total BS. Yeah that first drink is nice and then you almost kill yourself. To stay in recovery I am going to have to develop strategies to handle those moments where you think..."ah, I have done so well and yeah it IS summer, maybe one of two nice beers and then I will stop".
We are NOT normal drinkers. We are ALCOHOLICS with screwed up brain chemistry that cannot handle ever one sip of alcohol. EVER. I accept that now and I am cool with it. Now I need to never forget it.
But's its total BS. Yeah that first drink is nice and then you almost kill yourself. To stay in recovery I am going to have to develop strategies to handle those moments where you think..."ah, I have done so well and yeah it IS summer, maybe one of two nice beers and then I will stop".
We are NOT normal drinkers. We are ALCOHOLICS with screwed up brain chemistry that cannot handle ever one sip of alcohol. EVER. I accept that now and I am cool with it. Now I need to never forget it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Southern US
Posts: 626
Originally Posted by ubntubnt
We are NOT normal drinkers. We are ALCOHOLICS with screwed up brain chemistry that cannot handle ever one sip of alcohol. EVER. I accept that now and I am cool with it. Now I need to never forget it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 984
@Komplex: Thank you for taking the time to provide that input, I will definitely consider it down the line. Right now I’m still in the early days and working through residual anxiety/trying to re-establish my routines, so I will be relying on SR and our class in the meantime. Best of luck with your continued meetings, and it would be great if you could post every now and then letting us know how you are getting on there.
@ubntubnt: That’s exactly it. We’re not like everyone else, so we can’t enjoy alcohol like everyone else. It doesn’t matter ‘why’ or that it’s ‘unfair’ - those are the facts, and the power lies with us and only us in how we live with that fact. I’m starting to realize that in order to make my sobriety work long term, I have to let go of the notion (that I now realize has been lurking in my subconscious during all my other failed attempts at sobriety) that I ‘just have to stay sober until’ I work through that, or wait until I’m not stressed, my body image is better, bla bla bla - when in reality, I have to make peace and acknowledge that I can never drink, not one drop, ever again. Full stop. Right now I’m processing that and find that in actually dealing with my feelings around facing that fact, im building a solid foundation for pre-emptively creating strategies to stay sober for when that AV starts whispering false promises and manipulations again, which is sure to happen. This time, I’ll be ready.
Thanks again for the awesome insight and support, class.
@ubntubnt: That’s exactly it. We’re not like everyone else, so we can’t enjoy alcohol like everyone else. It doesn’t matter ‘why’ or that it’s ‘unfair’ - those are the facts, and the power lies with us and only us in how we live with that fact. I’m starting to realize that in order to make my sobriety work long term, I have to let go of the notion (that I now realize has been lurking in my subconscious during all my other failed attempts at sobriety) that I ‘just have to stay sober until’ I work through that, or wait until I’m not stressed, my body image is better, bla bla bla - when in reality, I have to make peace and acknowledge that I can never drink, not one drop, ever again. Full stop. Right now I’m processing that and find that in actually dealing with my feelings around facing that fact, im building a solid foundation for pre-emptively creating strategies to stay sober for when that AV starts whispering false promises and manipulations again, which is sure to happen. This time, I’ll be ready.
Thanks again for the awesome insight and support, class.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
End of the working week for me. 3 days off. Going to do plenty of reading some spring cleaning and baking tomorrow. Off to beach caravan tomorrow evening.
Made some decisions today . You know when somethings on your mind and you can't decide which way to go. Anyway when you make the decision and feel relieved and know you've made the right decision it helps doesn't it. Nothing serious just something I needed to deal with.
Some great posts this afternoon which I've loved reading thanks every ☺
Good night from Scotland 😀
Made some decisions today . You know when somethings on your mind and you can't decide which way to go. Anyway when you make the decision and feel relieved and know you've made the right decision it helps doesn't it. Nothing serious just something I needed to deal with.
Some great posts this afternoon which I've loved reading thanks every ☺
Good night from Scotland 😀
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 984
Enjoy your long weekend, RAL!
I totally know what you mean about making decisions and having clarity around something that’s been hanging over you. Glad you worked it out and I hope it’s a weight off!
Goodnight all - another day that we’ve gotten through together.
I totally know what you mean about making decisions and having clarity around something that’s been hanging over you. Glad you worked it out and I hope it’s a weight off!
Goodnight all - another day that we’ve gotten through together.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Iowa
Posts: 627
Wow, such amazing shares and enlightening posts out here today. Good stuff. Thank you January class for being so awesome and willing to share. I just love to come out here and read your posts. I probably look silly on my laptop because I'm like "yep", hmm, hmm" "Been there!" lol
Have a great evening friends
Have a great evening friends
Welsh member.
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Ireland
Posts: 328
I'm starting my ketogenic diet tomorrow so I absolutely"carbed" out to the max today. My teeth are aching from all the sugar consumed!
It reminds me of the time I turned up for my first residential rehab. I was supposed to have been abstinent for 2 weeks and property detoxed. I lied that I had been, but I was a trembling, dishevelled wreck, having been on a non-stop, one last time, bender for the previous 3 days. What utter madness.
Still, thank goodness it's only carbs this time.
Bedtime for me.
Have a great whatever time of day it is with y'all.
See you tomorrow, class.
It reminds me of the time I turned up for my first residential rehab. I was supposed to have been abstinent for 2 weeks and property detoxed. I lied that I had been, but I was a trembling, dishevelled wreck, having been on a non-stop, one last time, bender for the previous 3 days. What utter madness.
Still, thank goodness it's only carbs this time.
Bedtime for me.
Have a great whatever time of day it is with y'all.
See you tomorrow, class.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 296
Kgirl, you nailed it again. We quit drinking so life should be perfect. If only life worked like that. How much easier is it to deal with life and all of its curveballs without a massive hangover? Every day that i drink i regret it. Every day that i am sober i may have regrets but they are far less.
Ubntubnt and newchapter, more outstanding insights. I have convinced myself, or let that pesky AV convince me, that after so many days or some accomplishment that I would be able to drink normally. Ask me how well that has worked out.
There is still a struggle in my mind where the AV tries to feed me completely unrealistic memories of drinking. In reality, my "great time" drinking, for the past 10 years or more, is sitting on the couch alone, arguing with the cat. Or, better yet, "sneaking" out to the garage to drink and then trying to act like I am not drunk. Wow, real fun and romantic. I don't know why I am not starring in a beer commercial.
Ubntubnt and newchapter, more outstanding insights. I have convinced myself, or let that pesky AV convince me, that after so many days or some accomplishment that I would be able to drink normally. Ask me how well that has worked out.
There is still a struggle in my mind where the AV tries to feed me completely unrealistic memories of drinking. In reality, my "great time" drinking, for the past 10 years or more, is sitting on the couch alone, arguing with the cat. Or, better yet, "sneaking" out to the garage to drink and then trying to act like I am not drunk. Wow, real fun and romantic. I don't know why I am not starring in a beer commercial.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 158
Originally Posted by Chase01
There is still a struggle in my mind where the AV tries to feed me completely unrealistic memories of drinking.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 158
Congrats on everyone's milestones!
Kgirl 14 days, yay! I love the 90/90 idea.
Congrats on day 10 Sunflower79! Congrats on day 4 StartingOver and ubntubnt! Congrats on day 11 Maive, I hope you get some peaceful sleep! Congrats on Day 7 Komplex! And everyone else!!
Palmer 38 days this morning! Way to go. I saw you posted in the December class. I lurk over there all the time. I don't know why I ended up in the January class, but here I am
RAL sorry about your car. Hope the warranty covers it! Have a great restful weekend and enjoy the beach.
Good luck starting your diet Trohyn tomorrow!
Kgirl 14 days, yay! I love the 90/90 idea.
Congrats on day 10 Sunflower79! Congrats on day 4 StartingOver and ubntubnt! Congrats on day 11 Maive, I hope you get some peaceful sleep! Congrats on Day 7 Komplex! And everyone else!!
Palmer 38 days this morning! Way to go. I saw you posted in the December class. I lurk over there all the time. I don't know why I ended up in the January class, but here I am
RAL sorry about your car. Hope the warranty covers it! Have a great restful weekend and enjoy the beach.
Good luck starting your diet Trohyn tomorrow!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,222
Originally Posted by NewChapterJan18
I’m starting to realize that in order to make my sobriety work long term, I have to let go of the notion (that I now realize has been lurking in my subconscious during all my other failed attempts at sobriety) that I ‘just have to stay sober until’ I work through that, or wait until I’m not stressed, my body image is better, bla bla bla - when in reality, I have to make peace and acknowledge that I can never drink, not one drop, ever again. Full stop.
To be honest, for me, that is not the full picture. What I need is to accept that I can NEVER, EVER drink again. Its needs to be a complete mind shift, not just a sequence of days hanging in there. I need to reexamine big things like how I spend my time, how I manage my friendships, how I reward myself when things so well, how I deal with stress. It all needs to change. I understand that if I focus day to day and don't drink then eventually it will resolve itself but there is also a total change needed and I need to accept that. Sorry for the wandering thoughts...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,222
Originally Posted by Chase01
Wow, real fun and romantic. I don't know why I am not starring in a beer commercial.
My AV is at its strongest when I have become a little complacent and I feel good. Or I have worked hard, achieved something and feel I deserve a reward or celebrate in some way. It just runs the commercial and I think "ah, life is good". 24 hours later I am sweating, shaking, anxious, lying on the couch passed out with spilled glass on wine, my wife furious and my son not sure what is happening" Yeah, great commercial.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,222
Day 5....no cravings but quitting and alcoholism on my mind, a lot. Chinese New Year party today...thankfully no alcohol involved. Will be finished by 7pm and then pick my son and go watch a movie. Will dedicate my weekend to spending time with my son and learning about kindling and AVRT when he goes to bed. Have a great day everyone. The group seems to be doing really well.
Welsh member.
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Ireland
Posts: 328
Good morning classmates.
Just had a strong, sugarless coffee. Yuk.
AV suggested it would have been better with a good slug of vodka in it. Even yukkier. Stupid AV.
I've added a daily to-do list to my journal. Not a long list, but a daily, doable list. I'm finding a great sense of satisfaction and pleasures being able to tick the little jobs off as "done". I've spent years procrastinating just about everything and getting drunk instead.
Lying down body check meditation this morning.
Love you loads.
Just had a strong, sugarless coffee. Yuk.
AV suggested it would have been better with a good slug of vodka in it. Even yukkier. Stupid AV.
I've added a daily to-do list to my journal. Not a long list, but a daily, doable list. I'm finding a great sense of satisfaction and pleasures being able to tick the little jobs off as "done". I've spent years procrastinating just about everything and getting drunk instead.
Lying down body check meditation this morning.
Love you loads.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 325
Good evening everyone.
Congratulations on the respective milestones. I love the idea of the daily to do list Trohyn, there is something quite satisfying in crossing it off, I think adding ‘no alcohol today” to mine would be especially pleasing to put a check mark next to it.
Getting towards the end of day ten for me (I lost count and thought yesterday was day ten, thank goodness for sober apps keeping the count).
So I was in a bar today, don’t worry no drinking. My friend and I were out for a river walk in a bit of an isolated spot, got back to her car and it was dead. No cellphone reception and you guessed it,the nearest place to walk to with a phone was of course a bar/restaurant by the river.
The good news is I felt zero temptation, it’s sweltering hot at midday in NZ at the moment so we did wait in the ac for roadside recovery. It was a weird experience for a moment, like sober me was imagining what me of ten days ago would have chosen to and then kept on doing once I went home.
I do know to try to avoid bars, they never were part of my drinking pattern so perhaps that is why no cravings were triggered today, but it still felt like a win.
Seriously though, the middle of nowhere and a damn bar!!
Congratulations on the respective milestones. I love the idea of the daily to do list Trohyn, there is something quite satisfying in crossing it off, I think adding ‘no alcohol today” to mine would be especially pleasing to put a check mark next to it.
Getting towards the end of day ten for me (I lost count and thought yesterday was day ten, thank goodness for sober apps keeping the count).
So I was in a bar today, don’t worry no drinking. My friend and I were out for a river walk in a bit of an isolated spot, got back to her car and it was dead. No cellphone reception and you guessed it,the nearest place to walk to with a phone was of course a bar/restaurant by the river.
The good news is I felt zero temptation, it’s sweltering hot at midday in NZ at the moment so we did wait in the ac for roadside recovery. It was a weird experience for a moment, like sober me was imagining what me of ten days ago would have chosen to and then kept on doing once I went home.
I do know to try to avoid bars, they never were part of my drinking pattern so perhaps that is why no cravings were triggered today, but it still felt like a win.
Seriously though, the middle of nowhere and a damn bar!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 984
Good Morning Class,
Checking in for 12/12 of 90/90. Last night I went to the gym after work and then drove home with my husband. I may have mentioned that I have just started learning to drive (at 27, I know, I know - but I've always cycled and used public transport!) and I have my test coming up in February. Things have been going well, but yesterday evening driving home, a series of rude incidents of impatient people with road rage beeping me (I was doing nothing wrong, just the speed limit and being cautious at busy junctions as it was dark and very very busy), I totally crumbled, pulled in to a car park for my husband to take over and started crying. I was shaken, my confidence was shot and I felt stupid, weak and pathetic. Instead of allowing this feeling to snowball and carry on through the night, however, when I got home I dusted myself down, acknowledged the feelings and let them go, and calmed myself before starting my volunteer shift until midnight. It is very tough work emotionally, so it is imperative to be in a good place when going on. I was able to refocus my thoughts and channel my energy into supporting the clients, and putting my miniature blip into context. This morning, I drove to work without incident. I know this sounds ridiculously mundane to most of you, but it really is a big win for me right now!
@Trohyn: Good luck with Keto! I used to do low-carb diets a lot, but found they just encouraged my binge/purge/starvation/extreme diet rollercoaster, so these days I just try to keep it to generally healthy eating and watching calories/carbs in moderation. It's fantastic if you can do it though, let us know how you are getting on :-)
@ubntubnt: Could not agree more. It really is so much more than merely 'not drinking', for successful, long term change, it has to be a shift of outlook, lifestyle and numerous thought processes and behaviours. That is what I am focusing on currently: trying to make small shifts towards a larger, greater, fundamental change. To take your example of anticipating times for celebration, such as achievement - it is crucial to identify alternative mechanisms for celebrating as much as it is for negative times. I think I have perhaps neglected this in the past, and this has partially contributed to my downfall. Alcohol has become so unanimous with so many areas of my life that I need to put a lot of effort into disentangling those associations and over time diminish the reaction of my brain triggering alcohol as the go-to for celebrating, rewarding, coping with anxiety/body image issues/insecurities, etc. Awareness is power I guess, so here's hoping i can build on that to create an airtight, proactive strategy going forward!
Tonight my husband is going out with friends, so I have arranged to go to a yoga class after work, then meet a friend for tea. I'm going to do some baking when I get home to keep my mind busy. I will not drink this weekend, or ever.
Is everyone else prepared for a sober weekend?
Checking in for 12/12 of 90/90. Last night I went to the gym after work and then drove home with my husband. I may have mentioned that I have just started learning to drive (at 27, I know, I know - but I've always cycled and used public transport!) and I have my test coming up in February. Things have been going well, but yesterday evening driving home, a series of rude incidents of impatient people with road rage beeping me (I was doing nothing wrong, just the speed limit and being cautious at busy junctions as it was dark and very very busy), I totally crumbled, pulled in to a car park for my husband to take over and started crying. I was shaken, my confidence was shot and I felt stupid, weak and pathetic. Instead of allowing this feeling to snowball and carry on through the night, however, when I got home I dusted myself down, acknowledged the feelings and let them go, and calmed myself before starting my volunteer shift until midnight. It is very tough work emotionally, so it is imperative to be in a good place when going on. I was able to refocus my thoughts and channel my energy into supporting the clients, and putting my miniature blip into context. This morning, I drove to work without incident. I know this sounds ridiculously mundane to most of you, but it really is a big win for me right now!
@Trohyn: Good luck with Keto! I used to do low-carb diets a lot, but found they just encouraged my binge/purge/starvation/extreme diet rollercoaster, so these days I just try to keep it to generally healthy eating and watching calories/carbs in moderation. It's fantastic if you can do it though, let us know how you are getting on :-)
@ubntubnt: Could not agree more. It really is so much more than merely 'not drinking', for successful, long term change, it has to be a shift of outlook, lifestyle and numerous thought processes and behaviours. That is what I am focusing on currently: trying to make small shifts towards a larger, greater, fundamental change. To take your example of anticipating times for celebration, such as achievement - it is crucial to identify alternative mechanisms for celebrating as much as it is for negative times. I think I have perhaps neglected this in the past, and this has partially contributed to my downfall. Alcohol has become so unanimous with so many areas of my life that I need to put a lot of effort into disentangling those associations and over time diminish the reaction of my brain triggering alcohol as the go-to for celebrating, rewarding, coping with anxiety/body image issues/insecurities, etc. Awareness is power I guess, so here's hoping i can build on that to create an airtight, proactive strategy going forward!
Tonight my husband is going out with friends, so I have arranged to go to a yoga class after work, then meet a friend for tea. I'm going to do some baking when I get home to keep my mind busy. I will not drink this weekend, or ever.
Is everyone else prepared for a sober weekend?
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Thanks Newchapter and good luck with the driving. Thanks trohyn ☺ trohyn I'm trying you look at my food issues like alcohol. Although we have to eat of course I'm trying to make healthier choices and look on sugar as a drug.
Thank shell. Sadly human error not cover ed undress warranty 😀
Hope every has a good sober day and is well prepared for the weekend. It's a lovely sunny day here though freezing.
Happy Australia day dee and anyone else down under ☺
Thank shell. Sadly human error not cover ed undress warranty 😀
Hope every has a good sober day and is well prepared for the weekend. It's a lovely sunny day here though freezing.
Happy Australia day dee and anyone else down under ☺
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