Class of July 2013 Part 46
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,481
Hi Lulu - you're not the first Julyer to drink again -I've been there too - all of us understand how difficult this is.
As much as you want to run away keep posting. Make different decisions.
Great waves start as small ripples
D
As much as you want to run away keep posting. Make different decisions.
Great waves start as small ripples
D
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
I'm still here too off and on for two or three more hours, Lulu. Like Gilmer said, remember the Newcomers Forum is also a great place to reach out for help. Love our July class, but it's limited in how many people actually read it.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,481
I'm sorry I missed you too Lulu - the advice to post elsewhere is good tho - even when the usual gang's not around someone will be.
I'm taking a few days off - nothing wrong, just a break - back in a few
D
I'm taking a few days off - nothing wrong, just a break - back in a few
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Originally Posted by Mags1 
It's not easy Lulu. But you're coming here, so I'm guessing you want sobriety but perhaps don't want to give up the booze?
I know that's how I was. I wanted to be like everyone else and it wasn't fair!
.
That's how I felt and I was on 3 bottles of wine a day, at least! So I understand you've really got to want this otherwise the AV gets to us every time.
So when I stopped, I didn't drink anymore, whatever it took! And in the end it worked. I'm sober. And I'm sad, for all those who've gone before me who didn't stop and I'm sad for all those who'll come after me who don't stop, because there really is life after alcohol.
I know that if so many of us here, warts and all, did it, You can too Lulu.
Love Mags xx
I know that's how I was. I wanted to be like everyone else and it wasn't fair!
. That's how I felt and I was on 3 bottles of wine a day, at least! So I understand you've really got to want this otherwise the AV gets to us every time.
So when I stopped, I didn't drink anymore, whatever it took! And in the end it worked. I'm sober. And I'm sad, for all those who've gone before me who didn't stop and I'm sad for all those who'll come after me who don't stop, because there really is life after alcohol.
I know that if so many of us here, warts and all, did it, You can too Lulu.
Love Mags xx
Dear Lulu I'm so sorry you are suffering . It's not that long ago that I was where you are now . I think it would be a great idea to go into a detox centre and get the heavy ball rolling girlfriend.
You just need to be able to put a week between you and the alcohol to give you a chance to the think without the alcohol fog.
It's really time honey, I don't want you feeling like this anymore. I know how you must be feeling about yourself. Work must be hell. Are you drinking at work ? How is your daughter with you at the moment.
What can WE do to help you. Xxxxx
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Croissant, I found your post really helpful. I think even when we stop drinking we need to remember how horrific thoughts really were at times!
I remember feeling very much the way you described. It's a viscious cycle. You feel depressed..you drink...you feel more depressed...you drink some more. You don't care about anything because you are numb.
I remember distinctly during my last eoesode, the feelings of disappointment when I woke up, cos it was all just getting too hard.
I was feeling and looking like shittt and people were starting to notice. I had always hidden it so well previously but the cracks were beginning to appear.
My hangovers were going into their second and third days. So to combat this I needed to drink to get drunk again to stop that nauseated feeling.
Omg I can't believe how sick I actually feel writing this post. I remember that taste of stale vomit. I remember not being able to do anything about it as cleaning my teeth would make me gag.
I remember being dizzy, holding onto the shower wall so as I wouldn't fall over.
It's hideous.
I can't imagine never wanting to wake up now. Life is good irrespective of the challenges.
At least I can face things with feeling and no regrets now. Yes it's hard to feel at times, but it's a lot harder not to feel.
We are human and we all need each other. I know I need you guys in my life. I would never have been able to do this on my own.
Xxxxx
I remember feeling very much the way you described. It's a viscious cycle. You feel depressed..you drink...you feel more depressed...you drink some more. You don't care about anything because you are numb.
I remember distinctly during my last eoesode, the feelings of disappointment when I woke up, cos it was all just getting too hard.
I was feeling and looking like shittt and people were starting to notice. I had always hidden it so well previously but the cracks were beginning to appear.
My hangovers were going into their second and third days. So to combat this I needed to drink to get drunk again to stop that nauseated feeling.
Omg I can't believe how sick I actually feel writing this post. I remember that taste of stale vomit. I remember not being able to do anything about it as cleaning my teeth would make me gag.
I remember being dizzy, holding onto the shower wall so as I wouldn't fall over.
It's hideous.
I can't imagine never wanting to wake up now. Life is good irrespective of the challenges.
At least I can face things with feeling and no regrets now. Yes it's hard to feel at times, but it's a lot harder not to feel.
We are human and we all need each other. I know I need you guys in my life. I would never have been able to do this on my own.
Xxxxx
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Reflected today that July 25, 2013 was the last day I really drank unfettered without realising the next day would begin my road to sobriety. Even though I failed a few times, July 25 and the 26th, 2013 - the day I woke up so shame filled and had to call in sick for work, were pivotal into the journey to becoming sober.
Sometimes I even wished I'd never stopped drinking that day, that I could have lived in denial about my problem a little longer. But once you have the seed planted - that you KNOW you cannot drink....your mind has a way of not letting you forget you know deep down sobriety is the only answer.
You know it too, Lulu. That's why it's even more painful I think, the knowing deep down we deserve better, but being a slave to the AV.
I believe in sober Lulu. She is there, and she wants you to put down that drink.
Sometimes I even wished I'd never stopped drinking that day, that I could have lived in denial about my problem a little longer. But once you have the seed planted - that you KNOW you cannot drink....your mind has a way of not letting you forget you know deep down sobriety is the only answer.
You know it too, Lulu. That's why it's even more painful I think, the knowing deep down we deserve better, but being a slave to the AV.
I believe in sober Lulu. She is there, and she wants you to put down that drink.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Good to see you, LuLu.
You can definitely get through this day without taking a drink.
The really bottom-of-the-barrel garbage feeling of hangover will likely go away in a few days' worth of sobriety.
I hope you are able to take the long-term view: you are unique, and your life has a purpose and real value. There are gifts and viewpoints you bring to the table that nobody else can.
When you embrace sobriety, the key is not just giving up drinking. There is more. The ultimate by-product of recovery is not the complete deliverance from hangovers and screwing up. It is becoming a serene, competent, confident person who stands free and has nothing to hide.
That's the goal to shoot for, LuLu!
You can definitely get through this day without taking a drink.
The really bottom-of-the-barrel garbage feeling of hangover will likely go away in a few days' worth of sobriety.
I hope you are able to take the long-term view: you are unique, and your life has a purpose and real value. There are gifts and viewpoints you bring to the table that nobody else can.
When you embrace sobriety, the key is not just giving up drinking. There is more. The ultimate by-product of recovery is not the complete deliverance from hangovers and screwing up. It is becoming a serene, competent, confident person who stands free and has nothing to hide.
That's the goal to shoot for, LuLu!
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