I Will Not Drink/Use Today Part 4
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 2,100
Tomls- no it isn't alcohol related, I have always over reacted and read way more into other peoples comments or actions. That was not helped by drinking at all,, oh ee vay. On another note, I still cannot look at a recycle box with empty water bottles and not consider taking one for the wine that I am not going to have, habits they are hard to break!
Badge
Badge
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Badge - It takes a long time to break habits and drinking references. I came to realize that just because I think about drinking or the behaviors associated with drinking does not mean that I will drink.
Early in my sobriety, when I was deluged by drinking references, I found that going to an AA meeting or posting on SR was a great place to state my sober intentions. I needed to do that every day to stay on the sober beam.
I shared about things happening in my life too. I found a different way to handle life's stresses. I found recovery.
That's a frustrating situation with your friends. I know people in a group of friends have all different sorts of connections, but it would hurt my feelings to be the odd one out. It happened to me about a year ago with a group of hockey moms.
At first it ratcheted up my insecurity. With time working through my feelings through the 12 steps I grew to accept it with confidence. AA and the 12 steps really offer an amazing blue print for living.
Early in my sobriety, when I was deluged by drinking references, I found that going to an AA meeting or posting on SR was a great place to state my sober intentions. I needed to do that every day to stay on the sober beam.
I shared about things happening in my life too. I found a different way to handle life's stresses. I found recovery.
That's a frustrating situation with your friends. I know people in a group of friends have all different sorts of connections, but it would hurt my feelings to be the odd one out. It happened to me about a year ago with a group of hockey moms.
At first it ratcheted up my insecurity. With time working through my feelings through the 12 steps I grew to accept it with confidence. AA and the 12 steps really offer an amazing blue print for living.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
Good morning!
Tom, the avatar looks great on you
Badger, that would bug me too. I'd start to withdraw from them, and then resent it if they didn't come running to me, and then isolate completely. And get that much nearer a drink. Are you close enough to either one of them to tell her that something feels awkward? If not, remember that *you* may be the most psychologically self-aware person in the group. Whatever they're doing comes from their own weirdnesses, and isn't a reflection on you.
More important, you moving straight from the social insecurity to looking for bottles for wine worries me. I find that the reason I'm thinking about drinking is usually super-obvious and staring me in the face, and I'm just pretending "it isn't alcohol-related."
I may be completely wrong, badge. If so, I'm sorry -- and I hope it's helpful to someone else.
I'm sober and staying that way today.
Tom, the avatar looks great on you
Badger, that would bug me too. I'd start to withdraw from them, and then resent it if they didn't come running to me, and then isolate completely. And get that much nearer a drink. Are you close enough to either one of them to tell her that something feels awkward? If not, remember that *you* may be the most psychologically self-aware person in the group. Whatever they're doing comes from their own weirdnesses, and isn't a reflection on you.
More important, you moving straight from the social insecurity to looking for bottles for wine worries me. I find that the reason I'm thinking about drinking is usually super-obvious and staring me in the face, and I'm just pretending "it isn't alcohol-related."
I may be completely wrong, badge. If so, I'm sorry -- and I hope it's helpful to someone else.
I'm sober and staying that way today.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,181
SR is a wonderful community. It is heartwarming to see we care about each other...yet, in most cases, have never even met. (exception noted, GF )
I need to jump on the dreaded conference call soon, so I will be brief.
Relapse triggers to me are interesting. My last relapse happened when I was more than a year sober. I was all into my sobriety the day before...heck, even that day...then, all of a sudden, seemingly out of the blue, there I was walking around and around that Mexican bar/restaurant.
When I finally went inside I told myself that same old lie of just a couple....I ended up being dropped off after closing the bar with my two new best friends - never saw them again. I literally crawled up my front steps and to my bed on the second floor.
Sure, I had regret - but, the genie was out of the bottle...I was off on my last run.
My point to all this - for me - sober time was not a factor - hell, I relapsed after 11.5 years....
Now, at approaching 4 years, I feel spiritually fit. My problem isn't drinking - but my thinking.
Working hard to stay spiritually connected (no not religious at all) combined with a toolbox has me further from a drink at 43 some odd months than 11.5 years ever had.
Have a good one, ALL. Oh...no, no, no - not happenin' today.
)I need to jump on the dreaded conference call soon, so I will be brief.
Relapse triggers to me are interesting. My last relapse happened when I was more than a year sober. I was all into my sobriety the day before...heck, even that day...then, all of a sudden, seemingly out of the blue, there I was walking around and around that Mexican bar/restaurant.
When I finally went inside I told myself that same old lie of just a couple....I ended up being dropped off after closing the bar with my two new best friends - never saw them again. I literally crawled up my front steps and to my bed on the second floor.
Sure, I had regret - but, the genie was out of the bottle...I was off on my last run.
My point to all this - for me - sober time was not a factor - hell, I relapsed after 11.5 years....
Now, at approaching 4 years, I feel spiritually fit. My problem isn't drinking - but my thinking.
Working hard to stay spiritually connected (no not religious at all) combined with a toolbox has me further from a drink at 43 some odd months than 11.5 years ever had.
Have a good one, ALL. Oh...no, no, no - not happenin' today.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 2,100
Hi all and thank you for your replies-
Courage- I need to clarify, I wasn't searching for the bottles, there is a big box of them in the corner of my section, and it was more of a "I remember when" moment. I am so happy being sober, I just cant tell ya.
Tomls- They do not know why I stopped drinking, just that I have. We have gone out to lunches together and they drank while I stuck to my tea, without issues. They like the fact that the arguement over the designated driver has been cured.
IWLSAST- Now, at approaching 4 years, I feel spiritually fit. My problem isn't drinking - but my thinking.
Perfect!! love that,, so true for me!
Glee- It takes a long time to break habits and drinking references. I came to realize that just because I think about drinking or the behaviors associated with drinking does not mean that I will drink. Yup, that is where I am at right now.
Love ya all, hope your day went wonderfully!
Badge
105 days
Courage- I need to clarify, I wasn't searching for the bottles, there is a big box of them in the corner of my section, and it was more of a "I remember when" moment. I am so happy being sober, I just cant tell ya.
Tomls- They do not know why I stopped drinking, just that I have. We have gone out to lunches together and they drank while I stuck to my tea, without issues. They like the fact that the arguement over the designated driver has been cured.
IWLSAST- Now, at approaching 4 years, I feel spiritually fit. My problem isn't drinking - but my thinking.
Perfect!! love that,, so true for me!
Glee- It takes a long time to break habits and drinking references. I came to realize that just because I think about drinking or the behaviors associated with drinking does not mean that I will drink. Yup, that is where I am at right now.
Love ya all, hope your day went wonderfully!
Badge
105 days
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
If I make dire warnings, it's to remind myself -- not because I don't have confidence in anyone else's sobriety. Given my deluded life, it's absolutely reasonable to assume I might pick up a substance again at the drop of a hat.
One of my students gave me flowers today!
And I didn't drink.
One of my students gave me flowers today!
And I didn't drink.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Originally Posted by courage2 
If I make dire warnings, it's to remind myself -- not because I don't have confidence in anyone else's sobriety. Given my deluded life, it's absolutely reasonable to assume I might pick up a substance again at the drop of a hat.
Courage - Seeing the early warning signs is one of the tools that keeps me on the beam. I appreciate when my sober friends to point them out to me.
There is so much healing here. I find it humbling to know that I'm just a drop of booze away from spiraling into a tailspin.
With that, no booze for me!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,181
Hi All,
About to start my day and feeling grateful that the thoughts of drinking or drugging aren't in my plans.
Some coffee and quiet time reading to be followed by work, kayaking then body combat class. I eat a rather strict diet and yesterday broke out and had sushi for dinner, where rice and soy are not part of my regular diet. It was good and worth the stray.
When I was active in my addiction, I let extreme emotions of the day dictate my level of peace and serenity....haha, or, better put, lack of peace and serenity. Today, I try to take out highs and lows and frame my day with whatever level of humility and acceptance I can muster. Turns out, for me, living in the middle of an emotional spectrum offers peace and serenity vs elation and anger....and further from rather than closer to another drink.
Hope it's a good one, all.
Carlos
About to start my day and feeling grateful that the thoughts of drinking or drugging aren't in my plans.
Some coffee and quiet time reading to be followed by work, kayaking then body combat class. I eat a rather strict diet and yesterday broke out and had sushi for dinner, where rice and soy are not part of my regular diet. It was good and worth the stray.
When I was active in my addiction, I let extreme emotions of the day dictate my level of peace and serenity....haha, or, better put, lack of peace and serenity. Today, I try to take out highs and lows and frame my day with whatever level of humility and acceptance I can muster. Turns out, for me, living in the middle of an emotional spectrum offers peace and serenity vs elation and anger....and further from rather than closer to another drink.
Hope it's a good one, all.
Carlos
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