Class of November 2016 Support Thread Part 3
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 131
Steely and Phoenix, you both have a way with words. Maybe you should be writers!
Day 14 for me today. Unheard of!!
My son is 8 years old. Recently he has been getting up in the morning and doing exercises. Push ups, sit ups, lunges and then the rowing machine (recently bought a cheap one to try and help me to exercise, he is the only one who's used it
).
It's super cute watching him do this as he's not really a sporto, a little bit gangly and kind of weedy.
Anyway this morning I hear him saying to himself "I am never taking a vacation (that's a US word we would usually say holiday...too much television??) from exercise again!" He had been to his dads on the weekend and did not do his exercises. I asked him why and he said 'because I lose momentum and then I don't do them'. My brain just went ding ding ding. He was so right! What a keen insight from a little boy.
Same for me. With exercise, housework, study if I'm doing it AND not drinking. Let the ball slip and it just keeps rolling.
Thanks little man! You are my teacher!!
Day 14 for me today. Unheard of!!
My son is 8 years old. Recently he has been getting up in the morning and doing exercises. Push ups, sit ups, lunges and then the rowing machine (recently bought a cheap one to try and help me to exercise, he is the only one who's used it
).It's super cute watching him do this as he's not really a sporto, a little bit gangly and kind of weedy.
Anyway this morning I hear him saying to himself "I am never taking a vacation (that's a US word we would usually say holiday...too much television??) from exercise again!" He had been to his dads on the weekend and did not do his exercises. I asked him why and he said 'because I lose momentum and then I don't do them'. My brain just went ding ding ding. He was so right! What a keen insight from a little boy.
Same for me. With exercise, housework, study if I'm doing it AND not drinking. Let the ball slip and it just keeps rolling.
Thanks little man! You are my teacher!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 2,100
Welcome FacingFuture!! I just joined recently myself, and sooo glad I did.
SunFlower- Sending a virtual hug and love your way. Stay with us, your AV only has power if you allow it, no matter how loud and insistant she gets. She only adds to our guilt and problems.
Kimmy2002, Sunflower and everyone else who sent the great vibes. thank you so much! It did help. I am home and safe from my demons for today. I got most of my shopping done, I did sit in the parking lot at one point, read your posts and others here on SR, wrote in my journal, centered myself again. I did skip the grocery store though, husband called me to see how the shopping was going, talked about general stuff than he mentioned a family member who is a massive trigger for me, I cannot think about the part of the family without running to any hidden stash and chugging, and wishing I had more. I realized sitting in the car that I didn't trust myself not to give in, I have been sober for 6 days, I am feeling better, sleeping better, all things the AV biotch feeds on to validate buying a bottle or two, so I turned the car towards home and here I am, safe, sober with nothing to hide. This a big thing for me, I still have stuff in town to do tomorrow, but that's tomorrow and will deal with that than.
So thank you all for the kind words and encouragement.
SunFlower- Sending a virtual hug and love your way. Stay with us, your AV only has power if you allow it, no matter how loud and insistant she gets. She only adds to our guilt and problems.
Kimmy2002, Sunflower and everyone else who sent the great vibes. thank you so much! It did help. I am home and safe from my demons for today. I got most of my shopping done, I did sit in the parking lot at one point, read your posts and others here on SR, wrote in my journal, centered myself again. I did skip the grocery store though, husband called me to see how the shopping was going, talked about general stuff than he mentioned a family member who is a massive trigger for me, I cannot think about the part of the family without running to any hidden stash and chugging, and wishing I had more. I realized sitting in the car that I didn't trust myself not to give in, I have been sober for 6 days, I am feeling better, sleeping better, all things the AV biotch feeds on to validate buying a bottle or two, so I turned the car towards home and here I am, safe, sober with nothing to hide. This a big thing for me, I still have stuff in town to do tomorrow, but that's tomorrow and will deal with that than.
So thank you all for the kind words and encouragement.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by Sunflowerlife 
Good morning everyone. Thank you for the support and even the words that stung a little. I am 100% taking responsibility for my actions, I just believe in the early days it is best to avoid those things that tempt us, at least that's what they taught me in rehab many years ago.
Having said that, I cannot avoid going to North Carolina for Thanksgiving so I will have to rely on my own strength at the moment to get me by. And I obviously can't expect my husband to help me by not drinking around me for the first month so I won't ask that of him.
I am on my own. All my life I have felt alone and this is no exception to that. I know I am a strong person when I want to be but I also know that this has quite a grasp on me right now.
After my god-awful morning with the kids and DH spending 7 hours on the car, I left the house for a movie. Well I was an hour early with no place to go so I guess what I chose to do? Stop for a glass of wine. I felt like crap from the night before and thought it would help me feel better and who doesn't like watching a movie buzzed?
I never made it to the movie.
I am a mess today. I have to reschedule my appointments because I am an anxious mess and don't want to talk with people today.
I hope to god this is my last DAY 1 because this is a feeling I will never forget. I barely ate a thing yesterday which didn't help matters.
I feel disgusted with myself. Angry, lonely, anxious- I just want this feeling to go away. Maybe this was just what I needed to stop for good- let's hope so.
Having said that, I cannot avoid going to North Carolina for Thanksgiving so I will have to rely on my own strength at the moment to get me by. And I obviously can't expect my husband to help me by not drinking around me for the first month so I won't ask that of him.
I am on my own. All my life I have felt alone and this is no exception to that. I know I am a strong person when I want to be but I also know that this has quite a grasp on me right now.
After my god-awful morning with the kids and DH spending 7 hours on the car, I left the house for a movie. Well I was an hour early with no place to go so I guess what I chose to do? Stop for a glass of wine. I felt like crap from the night before and thought it would help me feel better and who doesn't like watching a movie buzzed?
I never made it to the movie.
I am a mess today. I have to reschedule my appointments because I am an anxious mess and don't want to talk with people today.
I hope to god this is my last DAY 1 because this is a feeling I will never forget. I barely ate a thing yesterday which didn't help matters.
I feel disgusted with myself. Angry, lonely, anxious- I just want this feeling to go away. Maybe this was just what I needed to stop for good- let's hope so.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by badgerden
hello all, asking for positive thoughts, I am off to do necessary shopping, and am on my own, (this is my weekend). this is a bad combo for me, I haven't gone without a bottle, or two on these 2 days in well, forever I think. I am a wino and I hide everything, pour it into water bottles, throw the bottles away somewhere, ( not my can, usually a parks or fast food can) and hide them so that my husband doesn't find out, which I am sure is a lie I tell myself. Anyway I have been stressing over today and tomorrow all weekend.
I do have a plan, I have a journal that I keep on my phone, also some meditational apps that I go to. Am going to keep a jug of iced lemon water with me at all times, and check in here and keep that biotchy AV voice down to an annoying whisper. I am on day 6 and have no plans on screwing that up.
Stay strong all, remember staying sober is worth the fight because YOU are worth the fight! We can do this together!
Badge
I do have a plan, I have a journal that I keep on my phone, also some meditational apps that I go to. Am going to keep a jug of iced lemon water with me at all times, and check in here and keep that biotchy AV voice down to an annoying whisper. I am on day 6 and have no plans on screwing that up.
Stay strong all, remember staying sober is worth the fight because YOU are worth the fight! We can do this together!
Badge
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by Emzeh
So I am back on day two, have had an obligatory day of self pity before jumping back up with the determination. I got to day 10 on first attempt and thats a hell of a lot further than I could have expected considering my drinking habit history.
So keeping that pride in the forefront of my mind. I clearly CAN stop, lets hope its for longer this time! (Like forever, please, brain?)
Congrats to everyone adding another day to their achievement and I see some others have slipped as well, lets just get back up and crack on shall we?? X
So keeping that pride in the forefront of my mind. I clearly CAN stop, lets hope its for longer this time! (Like forever, please, brain?)
Congrats to everyone adding another day to their achievement and I see some others have slipped as well, lets just get back up and crack on shall we?? X
We can do this! Unfortunately, it has nothing to do with hope, Emzeh, because if that were the case, we'd all be cured and there would be no SR!
It's work. And it is sometimes minute by minute work that can be so emotionally draining. But you know if you can make it to 10 days you can make it to another 10 days and another 10 days.
Keep checking in. Someone is always here. Hugs
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by FacingFuture
Hey everyone,
I'd like to join up if you'll have me.
Been drinking pretty much daily since July and hiding it from my wife and kids. Over the weekend, my wife found increasing evidence of my drinking, and I finally came clean last night (while drunk). I really really need to quit drinking for good. I'm scared and anxious about this being day 1. So I figured that I'd post here and see what you all have to say..
I'd like to join up if you'll have me.
Been drinking pretty much daily since July and hiding it from my wife and kids. Over the weekend, my wife found increasing evidence of my drinking, and I finally came clean last night (while drunk). I really really need to quit drinking for good. I'm scared and anxious about this being day 1. So I figured that I'd post here and see what you all have to say..
Please be aware of the withdrawal symptoms and if your's get bad, seek medical help immediately.
Glad to have you in our class!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by Steely
Good morning everyone,
I'm a woos. Got scared to open SR because I thought my long unwieldy post to you, Sunflower would be seen as a whole lot of wankery. Cringey stuff, where there's me pontificating about sobriety, and the role of spouses when I'm just 22 days sober sitting unshowered in a messy tip. Strike me lucky!
I've read everyone's posts, but with a head such as mine can only pull the common threads that run between us, and (yay) that unbending desire to never drink again, and to (eventually) reap those promises.
I don't have an AV going on in my head just the chilling realisation that alcohol is OUT and I'm IN, and who is this I? Therein lies the hard work for me. WTF!
I have a bit of trouble with the AV thing. I mean my AV is ME and my bent thinking
and it is my thinking that has to change, and that AV is used only loosely to describe our own thinking when we retreat to alcohol for escape.
Alcohol is no longer a default position for me and for the first time am really sitting on my Pat Malone wondering how it all happened, and how I am going to change.
I am an aethiest but good story about God.
I used to do a lot of fishing off a wharf, water bottle filled with wine. This fishing spot never delivered any fish but I used to like sitting there, and sometimes I'd catch a Blue Swimmer crab to cook for dinner.
I swallowed my aethiesm and asked God to help me, and to please send me a sign, even though I know you shouldn't play dice with God.....according to A Einstein.
Man, at that very thought my rod was wrenched from my hand by the biggest fish I've ever felt on my line. I didn't land it but thought later that I'd only asked for a sign. I bolted home, but continued to drink. I didn't read the sign, it was a bit cryptic
I'm raving on again and want to get myself motivated with breakfast and first shower in a couple of days. I'll close now with my deepest effections for you all because I know you understand.
Congratulations to everyone for making it another day be that Day 1 or Day forever.
Boy, do I ever know that feeling of just having one drink before going to the movies Sunflower, you'll see me slumped on the bar as the curtain falls. It helps to know I am not alone.
Let's keep it up Nobenders. No drinking, and reclaiming our lives sounds like a really good idea.
I'm a woos. Got scared to open SR because I thought my long unwieldy post to you, Sunflower would be seen as a whole lot of wankery. Cringey stuff, where there's me pontificating about sobriety, and the role of spouses when I'm just 22 days sober sitting unshowered in a messy tip. Strike me lucky!
I've read everyone's posts, but with a head such as mine can only pull the common threads that run between us, and (yay) that unbending desire to never drink again, and to (eventually) reap those promises.
I don't have an AV going on in my head just the chilling realisation that alcohol is OUT and I'm IN, and who is this I? Therein lies the hard work for me. WTF!
I have a bit of trouble with the AV thing. I mean my AV is ME and my bent thinking
and it is my thinking that has to change, and that AV is used only loosely to describe our own thinking when we retreat to alcohol for escape.
Alcohol is no longer a default position for me and for the first time am really sitting on my Pat Malone wondering how it all happened, and how I am going to change.
I am an aethiest but good story about God.
I used to do a lot of fishing off a wharf, water bottle filled with wine. This fishing spot never delivered any fish but I used to like sitting there, and sometimes I'd catch a Blue Swimmer crab to cook for dinner.
I swallowed my aethiesm and asked God to help me, and to please send me a sign, even though I know you shouldn't play dice with God.....according to A Einstein.
Man, at that very thought my rod was wrenched from my hand by the biggest fish I've ever felt on my line. I didn't land it but thought later that I'd only asked for a sign. I bolted home, but continued to drink. I didn't read the sign, it was a bit cryptic
I'm raving on again and want to get myself motivated with breakfast and first shower in a couple of days. I'll close now with my deepest effections for you all because I know you understand.
Congratulations to everyone for making it another day be that Day 1 or Day forever.
Boy, do I ever know that feeling of just having one drink before going to the movies Sunflower, you'll see me slumped on the bar as the curtain falls. It helps to know I am not alone.
Let's keep it up Nobenders. No drinking, and reclaiming our lives sounds like a really good idea.
Love the God story, Steely. I am a woman of faith and that incident was God. He's in your head and doesn't want to leave, LOL!
I can relate to the "unshowered" story too. At my worst, I think I went almost a week without showering. I lived by myself and if I left the house, I'd spray some Gain fabric softener on my clothes, throw on my baseball cap , run a toothbrush over my teeth and do what I needed to do. I'm sure I was a sight but I didn't really care.
Oh, I never want to go back there...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by PhoenixJ
In recovery, lifetime gig- I find my self plagued with fear of change and the future. I find myself doubting and not trusting myself- reasonable for a sober mind to dwell on given my drinking career. I sometimes get all gloomy and think I am not any different than the first day I stopped drinking. I feel sometimes my loneliness caused by the irreversible damage I caused myself and others is a God-given punishment that I need- because pain is there to make me suffer.
Well folks- unfortunately I am not all that special. God did not serve me up for 'special friends with punishment' privileges. I just have to buckle down and remind myself that feeling crap is normal. I remind myself the anxiety goes away with effort that I am not drinking. THAT is a good thing.
Well folks- unfortunately I am not all that special. God did not serve me up for 'special friends with punishment' privileges. I just have to buckle down and remind myself that feeling crap is normal. I remind myself the anxiety goes away with effort that I am not drinking. THAT is a good thing.
The anxiety will go away. Mine, on Day 4 yesterday was horrific but today, not a twinge. I do suffer from whatever the anxiety disorder is, but I'm pretty sure the alcohol didn't help. Just hang i there, you're doing great.
I'm not drinking either! Yes, that is a good thing!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by Miramira
Steely and Phoenix, you both have a way with words. Maybe you should be writers!
Day 14 for me today. Unheard of!!
My son is 8 years old. Recently he has been getting up in the morning and doing exercises. Push ups, sit ups, lunges and then the rowing machine (recently bought a cheap one to try and help me to exercise, he is the only one who's used it).
It's super cute watching him do this as he's not really a sporto, a little bit gangly and kind of weedy.
Anyway this morning I hear him saying to himself "I am never taking a vacation (that's a US word we would usually say holiday...too much television??) from exercise again!" He had been to his dads on the weekend and did not do his exercises. I asked him why and he said 'because I lose momentum and then I don't do them'. My brain just went ding ding ding. He was so right! What a keen insight from a little boy.
Same for me. With exercise, housework, study if I'm doing it AND not drinking. Let the ball slip and it just keeps rolling.
Thanks little man! You are my teacher!!
Day 14 for me today. Unheard of!!
My son is 8 years old. Recently he has been getting up in the morning and doing exercises. Push ups, sit ups, lunges and then the rowing machine (recently bought a cheap one to try and help me to exercise, he is the only one who's used it
).It's super cute watching him do this as he's not really a sporto, a little bit gangly and kind of weedy.
Anyway this morning I hear him saying to himself "I am never taking a vacation (that's a US word we would usually say holiday...too much television??) from exercise again!" He had been to his dads on the weekend and did not do his exercises. I asked him why and he said 'because I lose momentum and then I don't do them'. My brain just went ding ding ding. He was so right! What a keen insight from a little boy.
Same for me. With exercise, housework, study if I'm doing it AND not drinking. Let the ball slip and it just keeps rolling.
Thanks little man! You are my teacher!!
Love, love, love the story about your son <3 From the mouth of babes...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by badgerden
Welcome FacingFuture!! I just joined recently myself, and sooo glad I did.
SunFlower- Sending a virtual hug and love your way. Stay with us, your AV only has power if you allow it, no matter how loud and insistant she gets. She only adds to our guilt and problems.
Kimmy2002, Sunflower and everyone else who sent the great vibes. thank you so much! It did help. I am home and safe from my demons for today. I got most of my shopping done, I did sit in the parking lot at one point, read your posts and others here on SR, wrote in my journal, centered myself again. I did skip the grocery store though, husband called me to see how the shopping was going, talked about general stuff than he mentioned a family member who is a massive trigger for me, I cannot think about the part of the family without running to any hidden stash and chugging, and wishing I had more. I realized sitting in the car that I didn't trust myself not to give in, I have been sober for 6 days, I am feeling better, sleeping better, all things the AV biotch feeds on to validate buying a bottle or two, so I turned the car towards home and here I am, safe, sober with nothing to hide. This a big thing for me, I still have stuff in town to do tomorrow, but that's tomorrow and will deal with that than.
So thank you all for the kind words and encouragement.
SunFlower- Sending a virtual hug and love your way. Stay with us, your AV only has power if you allow it, no matter how loud and insistant she gets. She only adds to our guilt and problems.
Kimmy2002, Sunflower and everyone else who sent the great vibes. thank you so much! It did help. I am home and safe from my demons for today. I got most of my shopping done, I did sit in the parking lot at one point, read your posts and others here on SR, wrote in my journal, centered myself again. I did skip the grocery store though, husband called me to see how the shopping was going, talked about general stuff than he mentioned a family member who is a massive trigger for me, I cannot think about the part of the family without running to any hidden stash and chugging, and wishing I had more. I realized sitting in the car that I didn't trust myself not to give in, I have been sober for 6 days, I am feeling better, sleeping better, all things the AV biotch feeds on to validate buying a bottle or two, so I turned the car towards home and here I am, safe, sober with nothing to hide. This a big thing for me, I still have stuff in town to do tomorrow, but that's tomorrow and will deal with that than.
So thank you all for the kind words and encouragement.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Welcome FF and welcome back Emzeh.
Congrats on your milestone Kimmy (and anyone else hittign a milestone today)
Noones going to think badly of you for a long post Steely - you're one of the family
Way to go badgerden
D
Congrats on your milestone Kimmy (and anyone else hittign a milestone today)
Noones going to think badly of you for a long post Steely - you're one of the family
Way to go badgerden
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
SIGH. The end of another day. Home safe sound and sober on my couch.I don't want to drink anymore. I don't want one more wasted moment. Each time I get a little sober time under my belt, I get a taste of what life should be and its awesome. I FEEL good. I LIKE myself. I'm a BETTER person. Life isn't focused on alcohol and self pity and shame and hangovers.
I see lots of folks struggling right now, back on day 1, full of despair.
These crazy thoughts we have. Alcohol is not medication. Alcohol is not therapeutic in any way shape or form. Alcohol is poison. It makes matters worse. I have no idea why we keep turning to it. Nothing is going to stick until we apply ourselves.
I see lots of folks struggling right now, back on day 1, full of despair.
These crazy thoughts we have. Alcohol is not medication. Alcohol is not therapeutic in any way shape or form. Alcohol is poison. It makes matters worse. I have no idea why we keep turning to it. Nothing is going to stick until we apply ourselves.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Perth Western Australia
Posts: 2,671
Good Morning fellow Novemberians!!!
Well i woke up this morning and couldn't actually remember what day I was at-think that's a good thing right? Anyway it is day 8 for me and I am feeling better and better! Slept ok ish last night-only waking once, and life is keeping me busy so little time to overthink!
I've rediscovered my love for non-caffeinated herbal teas which does the trick at night when I'm usually downing 2-3 bottles of champagne, and my boys have even been watching TV in the same room as me!!!
In the past I've usually been a lot more active in SR and I'm sure I will be again once I've found my balance again!
I resume studying on Monday, and am trying to organise myself and my time so I succeed...
Anyway I am at work right now so better go and do some!!! Have a fabulous Tuesday everyone xxxx
Well i woke up this morning and couldn't actually remember what day I was at-think that's a good thing right? Anyway it is day 8 for me and I am feeling better and better! Slept ok ish last night-only waking once, and life is keeping me busy so little time to overthink!
I've rediscovered my love for non-caffeinated herbal teas which does the trick at night when I'm usually downing 2-3 bottles of champagne, and my boys have even been watching TV in the same room as me!!!
In the past I've usually been a lot more active in SR and I'm sure I will be again once I've found my balance again!
I resume studying on Monday, and am trying to organise myself and my time so I succeed...
Anyway I am at work right now so better go and do some!!! Have a fabulous Tuesday everyone xxxx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,911
Hello, Fellow "No-benders!" Made it through another day sober, thank goodness! Speaking of the AV, mine is a mouthy little b---- as well. I love how Dee says that the AV is like a tantrum-throwing toddler, and that's it's never a good outcome when we give in.....just makes it worse the next time around.....
Great class we've got here! Thanks everyone!
Great class we've got here! Thanks everyone!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: North East
Posts: 621
Originally Posted by Optimist4ever57
Yeah!!! Congratulations onf 2 weeks!!!! Keep up the good work.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,911
Thanks Dee for sharing the Thanksgiving Survival Guide. Number 10 jumped out at me:
"Think through the drink. If you start romancing how nice "one drink" would be, remember how many times you told yourself you were only going to have one and failed. Having one is harder than having none, because once alcohol is in your system the obsession comes alive."
"Think through the drink. If you start romancing how nice "one drink" would be, remember how many times you told yourself you were only going to have one and failed. Having one is harder than having none, because once alcohol is in your system the obsession comes alive."
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