Kimmy2002

RainbowBird, hi there. Congratulations on day 3. Was reading your post. Sounds like me. I also done this. No motivation, showering less, no interest in the house. All of which piled onto my guilt and self loathing. I do find that not drinking has helped emensely with my motivation and for sure has made me a better mother which is encouragement in itself. Xx

Kimmy2002

Bblackbirbblackbirdflyy, Good job on the recommendation. Your right, it does feel good to get positive recognition. Xx
Optimist4ever57, Day 5, yeah. X
PJ, Day 10, way to go. X
Sober81, 3 days. X
Mish and Ingeborg, way to go. X

Kimmy2002

emme99. Thinking of you. Be kind to yourself and not to hard on yourself. Like Miramira said, do post. There are lots of people here for you that you can look to for support. Xx

PhoenixJ

Hoping all are good. Keep posting.

Kimmy2002

Thinking of everybody. I wish everybody a good day. Hugs to all. Xx

badgerden

hello all, asking for positive thoughts, I am off to do necessary shopping, and am on my own, (this is my weekend). this is a bad combo for me, I haven't gone without a bottle, or two on these 2 days in well, forever I think. I am a wino and I hide everything, pour it into water bottles, throw the bottles away somewhere, ( not my can, usually a parks or fast food can) and hide them so that my husband doesn't find out, which I am sure is a lie I tell myself. Anyway I have been stressing over today and tomorrow all weekend.

I do have a plan, I have a journal that I keep on my phone, also some meditational apps that I go to. Am going to keep a jug of iced lemon water with me at all times, and check in here and keep that biotchy AV voice down to an annoying whisper. I am on day 6 and have no plans on screwing that up.

Stay strong all, remember staying sober is worth the fight because YOU are worth the fight! We can do this together!

Badge

Kimmy2002

Hi Badge, Hang in there. I too was worried about the weekend as I usually go overboard on the wine because, well it's the weekend and I'm allowed, right?
I kept myself busy. Made a plan of things I wanted to get done over the two days. Thought about the way I feel when I don't drink, motivation, self worth, drive, energy, accomplishment, pride. All of these are reason enough not to give in. That and staying true to yourself and what it is your striving for. You got this. Xx

Kimmy2002

I also done the hiding the bottles. Putting them in trash cans that was not my own. Anywhere I could get rid of them. Even put wine in coke cans to hide the fact that I was drinking. But like you said yourself, you are worth the fight. Xx

Emzeh

So I am back on day two, have had an obligatory day of self pity before jumping back up with the determination. I got to day 10 on first attempt and thats a hell of a lot further than I could have expected considering my drinking habit history.

So keeping that pride in the forefront of my mind. I clearly CAN stop, lets hope its for longer this time! (Like forever, please, brain?)

Congrats to everyone adding another day to their achievement and I see some others have slipped as well, lets just get back up and crack on shall we?? X

Sunflowerlife

Kimmy-Thank you so much. Your comment really lifted me up when I needed it. It's been a really bad day so far and I am almost in tears. Just hate the way I feel right now and despite all of that my AV is strong.

Sunflowerlife

Yes you CAN! Keep on moving forward/ you've got this!

Sunflowerlife

Good luck Bagde and let us know how into went!

Kimmy2002

Emzeh, You can do this. You done it for 10 days. Just goes to show that you have the will, the wanting and determination within you. Xx

Kimmy2002

Sunflowerlife, I'm sorry your feeling low at the moment but remember every step forward is a step towards feeling better in yourself. You got this. Don't listen to that voice. When I hear it, I refair to it as my toxic 'friend' who certainly does not have my best interest at heart. I'm thinking of you and sending my warmest thoughts. Big hugs. Xx

FacingFuture

Hey everyone,

I'd like to join up if you'll have me.

Been drinking pretty much daily since July and hiding it from my wife and kids. Over the weekend, my wife found increasing evidence of my drinking, and I finally came clean last night (while drunk). I really really need to quit drinking for good. I'm scared and anxious about this being day 1. So I figured that I'd post here and see what you all have to say..

Kimmy2002

Hi FacingFuture, you have goined a great group. I'm only on day seven, but the support I have had is overwhelming. Welcome on board. X

Steely

Good morning everyone,

I'm a woos. Got scared to open SR because I thought my long unwieldy post to you, Sunflower would be seen as a whole lot of wankery. Cringey stuff, where there's me pontificating about sobriety, and the role of spouses when I'm just 22 days sober sitting unshowered in a messy tip. Strike me lucky!

I've read everyone's posts, but with a head such as mine can only pull the common threads that run between us, and (yay) that unbending desire to never drink again, and to (eventually) reap those promises.

I don't have an AV going on in my head just the chilling realisation that alcohol is OUT and I'm IN, and who is this I? Therein lies the hard work for me. WTF!

I have a bit of trouble with the AV thing. I mean my AV is ME and my bent thinking
and it is my thinking that has to change, and that AV is used only loosely to describe our own thinking when we retreat to alcohol for escape.

Alcohol is no longer a default position for me and for the first time am really sitting on my Pat Malone wondering how it all happened, and how I am going to change.

I am an aethiest but good story about God.

I used to do a lot of fishing off a wharf, water bottle filled with wine. This fishing spot never delivered any fish but I used to like sitting there, and sometimes I'd catch a Blue Swimmer crab to cook for dinner.

I swallowed my aethiesm and asked God to help me, and to please send me a sign, even though I know you shouldn't play dice with God.....according to A Einstein.

Man, at that very thought my rod was wrenched from my hand by the biggest fish I've ever felt on my line. I didn't land it but thought later that I'd only asked for a sign. I bolted home, but continued to drink. I didn't read the sign, it was a bit cryptic

I'm raving on again and want to get myself motivated with breakfast and first shower in a couple of days. I'll close now with my deepest effections for you all because I know you understand.

Congratulations to everyone for making it another day be that Day 1 or Day forever.

Boy, do I ever know that feeling of just having one drink before going to the movies Sunflower, you'll see me slumped on the bar as the curtain falls. It helps to know I am not alone.

Let's keep it up Nobenders. No drinking, and reclaiming our lives sounds like a really good idea.

Steely

Welcome FacingFuture. Join the rag tag crew, we can do this, everyone so supportive here.

Steely

Being in the moment is not easy.

PhoenixJ

In recovery, lifetime gig- I find my self plagued with fear of change and the future. I find myself doubting and not trusting myself- reasonable for a sober mind to dwell on given my drinking career. I sometimes get all gloomy and think I am not any different than the first day I stopped drinking. I feel sometimes my loneliness caused by the irreversible damage I caused myself and others is a God-given punishment that I need- because pain is there to make me suffer.
Well folks- unfortunately I am not all that special. God did not serve me up for 'special friends with punishment' privileges. I just have to buckle down and remind myself that feeling crap is normal. I remind myself the anxiety goes away with effort that I am not drinking. THAT is a good thing.