soberforme06061

Good morning people!

JG: Funny you bring up your husband drinking and how it makes you mad. My husband drinks almost everyday, not as much as he used to but he does drink alot. It doesn't quite bother me when I'm awake but for some reason lately I've been having these dreams that I'm drinking a beer and then I freak out. Like I picked up his beer and took a swig and set it back down like WTF. I think subconsciously his drinking actually does bother me and it's because it's in my face every day. If I didn't have to see it all the time I don't think it would bother me the way that it does. You have a reason to be bothered as do I. I'm sorry you're dealing with that, I am too.

Congrats NMD on your progress.

2 days until my surgery and I have mix emotions about it. Not looking forward to doing this at all but tired of feeling like crap and know this is really a mandatory surgery. My fear is the non exercising part, and my mental state during recovery. I'm sure from my previous posts yall know that the reason i run everyday is because I'm mean if I don't. I'm really nervous about that part. I don't mean to be mean but it calms my anxiety after I quit drinking and helps stabilize my moods. *sigh*

I'll check in tomorrow before my surgery and I'll also check in after surgery to let y'all know I didn't die on the operating table. That would seriously suck. LOL

Happy SOBER Tuesday!!!!

JG62

sfm - fingers crossed that you don't die! I understand what you mean about running, although I haven't run for a good few months but I was walking 10 miles a day when I stopped drinking back in June, I think it kept my mind in a good place. Exercise releases the happy hormones, maybe we both need to relax too to release our stresses, maybe it's a woman thing. Maybe try some meditation tapes until you can be up and running again. Even sitting outside helps me, just some good old fresh air. Keep checking in and maybe we can help you not be so grumpy
Well good news, both houses now sold and cash in bank I am now officially 'Of no fixed abode' Whoop. Hopefully our purchase will complete by the end of the month. Of course this now means the husband will probably want to celebrate when he gets here after work. I think I am just being mean to him. Although when he said the other night that he wouldn't drink to show his support, I could have throttled him! Almost 7 months down the line and he thinks I need support and he also said it might help me stay sober. Told him not to turn it around to me. I don't have a problem, I DON'T drink and that my comment re his drinking was just me pointing out to him that he was drinking EVERY night. He still says to me that I am not an alcoholic, but I always say to him 'what is an alcoholic?' No I don't sleep on the street and I had a job but most people that have a bad relationship with alcohol aren't your stereotypical drunk' It's almost as if he is trying to say that now I have had a bit of a detox I would be OK to drink now - sh&t who needs an AV when you have a dumb husband!?? I think it's because it makes him question his own drinking, maybe not such a bad thing.
sfm - we will be waiting for you to check in after your op.

Dee74

Best wishes SFM - I'm sure you'll be ok

D

nmd

Good luck on the surgery SFM tomorrow. I get what your saying about running, but hopefully you will be able to just take some time off and relax. You'll need it

Sorry if i wasn't clear before, I didn't mean to say your spouses drinking shouldn't bother you, so much as mine worries me more than bothers me. She does drink alcoholicly and every day. We talked about it last night, which again is a positive thing. She plans on dealing with it after a vacation we have coming up in February. Sigh. I just expressed my worry about her health and asked why not deal with it now. That and how hard it is to not be able to do something, the choices are all hers. She's in denial, at least partially.

Powers out here and the wind woke me up a few hours ago. hopefully it will be back on in the morning. Take care class!

JG62

nmd - I hope you got your power sorted?
sfm - hope you aren't feeling too rough?

U75

!Hello all. I meant to drop in at six months, but the holidays were busy busy. Hope Everyone is doing well. Life is good from Wisconsin. It will be 7 months on the 20th for me.

Take care all, and have a wonderful New Year!

nmd

JG - Yup, power came back after about 4 hours. All good.

Hope everything went well SFM, sending my well wishes

Good to see you around u75, don't be a stranger

I have a lot to do today and I'm procrastinating, lol. Finished cleaning the chicken coop and I want to get some work done on our bathroom remodel. Have a great sober day everyone!

nmd

I hope everything is well post surgery sfm, sending well wishes

Any luck on the home purchase JG?

Not too much going on here. Just a lot of 12 year old boy drama/attitude, and me driving them all over the place, helping them study, etc.

I'm tired of being overweight , so I decided to try to restart my diet and exercising. I have a calorie counter app and trying to exercise 60 minutes a day (p90x2 dvds). No running though. My hip is better, but I modify anything high impact and you can't really modify running. (It just becomes walking) I was afraid of dieting for a long time because being hungry triggered cravings to drink, but at this point I realize I'm just hungry. Go figure.

Still trying to fit in a little guitar practice each day. I was doing well, but have now slacked off for a week. Still going to try to stick with it though. I have plenty of time wasters that i can get rid of to make the time.

soberforme06061

Hey guys- surgery took longer than expected and when I was in recovery my organs decided to not work properly so they kept me! Ughh, I was stuck in the hospital for about 48 hours. Once I was discharged and got home my husband came down with the flu so guess who has it now! Yep I have the damn flu and if I keep on running fever I have to go back to the hospital. So this really sucks! Guess what though, internally I feel great and have not had a single headache since they removed my uterus!!! I lost 6 pounds too so I'm weighing in at 110 now and feel pretty good besides this flu. I'm in good spirits at this point I'm waiting on the emotional episodes everyone keeps talking about but I feel okay. I can't drive so that makes me angry but other than that I really think this was a way to slow me down and get me where I need to be health wise. I'm forced to sleep, sit around and do nothing. I color... like a fricking 7 year old I just color adult coloring books! Lol

Glad everyone is checking in and staying sober. My husband hasn't drank since last Thursday and because he was stuck in the hospital with me too. He is having withdrawals and honestly I'm glad because he's opening his eyes that he has a problem. He actually told me this morning he was having withdrawals.

Anyhow, NMD take it slow but stick with exercise it will help you mentally too. P90x is some hardcore stuff though. I'm in pretty good shape and I personally couldn't do p90x! Dang man!!!

JG: since you closed on the house, what's your next move?

U75: so glad you're going strong and checking in!

nmd

Thank you for keeping us up to date sfm. Ugh, glad you got out of surgery ok and it is helping at least with the headaches. Sorry you had the complications and now the flu. :-( rest is the right thing though, let yourself get better. Color away, lol. Hopefully your fever subsides and you don't have to go back to the hospital.

I'm glad your husband is at least talking about his drinking. My wife is about at the same point, opening up but not ready to take a first step until mid February after a trip we are going on. She hasn't had any days of from drinking though, so I don't know what her withdrawal will be like. that's a little scary because her blood pressure runs high

I've done several rounds of p90x before, I'm just bad about the diet part, and i let myself fall out of shape. I'm up over 200 lbs now. X2 had more stretching and stability and less weight training, which I think is what I need and will help avoid injuries. That and stick to a diet. Part of my problem in the past was alcohol calories, but now I'm just taking in healthy food and not sacrificing nutrition or going over in calories

Dee74

(((SFM))) I hope you won't have to go back to hospital!

D

JG62

Glad to see everyone checking in and all sort of healthy
Take care of yourself sfm, take as much rest as possible and you will be up and running very soon. Meanwhile, keep colouring.
I am now waiting to hear a date for completing on our new home. I am getting really bored here at the holiday let. Having spent almost 7 months selling houses and dealing with emails etc I now have nothing to do but wait. My intention was to be out and walking but the good old UK weather has put a stop to that. It's really miserable and foggy here and has been since I came here almost 2 weeks ago. Just bored though with no cravings or nagging AV so that's all good. Husband hasn't had a drink either for a few days, he never drank very much but he had started to drink every day and I was getting annoyed about it. When I got here there was the mandatory bottle of 'welcome wine', which I used to think was a normal thing to leave for a guest but now I am wondering why it's assumed by almost everyone, that people drink to relax when on holiday, would have prefered a nice packet of biscuits! Oh well my daughter will get a freebie bottle when I see her.
It's still dark here and I am hoping the damn fog has cleared up today as I am going a little stir crazy. I have a collection of exercise to do but all this 'doing nothing' is making me lethargic, I need to kick my ass and get the dumbbells out of the boot of my car.
Almost at 7 months now and it's no longer a daily struggle, just a way of life. Off to kick my ass, before it gets big from sitting on this sofa.
Have a great day everyone

nmd

JG, same kind of weather here today, rainy and foggy. Two weeks ago I was downhill skiing with my boys. Our county has one park with a free downhill skiing slope and a tow rope up the hill. Great for getting out to practice with the kids. I like cross country skiing too and go around my local town on the bicycle path if they haven't plowed it. There's some ski resorts too, but taking the kids is $$$.

Today will be indoors though. My diet and exercise are going ok. I'm trying to count calories in an app. For the most part I've needed portion control and need to skip the junk food. I'm not too sore from exercising but definitely need to watch I don't end up in sleep deficit. I want to see instant results though and I know it will take months. Trying to get into the mindset that it's a life change and not a quick fix.

I scheduled guitar lessons for my son and myself for today. He's very excited as he's wanted to play since he was little. Hopefully he sticks with it and practices, but it will be fun to go with him either way.

Have a great sober day!

Dee74

rock on nmd

Have a great weekend everyone

D

soberforme06061

Well, no fever in over 24 hours meaning no return to the hospital. I woke up at 5am and felt great. My daughter had her first Reconciliation this morning so I had to get dressed, get her dressed and be presentable. I made it through, went to breakfast with family after church then went to my sons basketball game. Life is slowly going back to normal for me. Finally, no driving for me yet but I hate driving anyways so I'm cool with others driving me around!

JG: a tub of biscuits made me giggle! You're right though, why do they leave a bottle of wine. Seriously, that is pretty annoying especially knowing there are people out there like you and I who are alcoholics who are working on ourselves. oh well, at least youre at the point in recovery where this is our new life now is to just not drink.
Our weather here has been weird one minute it's pretty and 70 and an hour later it's storming and the temp drops 10 degrees. Just crazy outside now.

NMD: how did the guitar lessons go? You seem pretty serious about the work out and diet plan. Your mental state is strong, you're doing really good. I can't wait to work out again!
My husband started drinking again lastnight so I guess he's either not ready to quit or isn't strong enough to quit and deal with the withdrawals. Sucks... really sucks. I know since I quit drinking he's cut back but it's still an everyday thing.

Have a sober Saturday night!

Dee74

really glad all is well SFM

D

nmd

Sfm, im so glad your fever broke. Hospitals are not a great place to recover. Congrats on your daughters reconciliation!

The guitar lesson went really well. The hardest part about having 4 children is remembering they are all individuals and have different interests and needs, and making sure they all have opportunities to grow. And I had fun too. :-) I went back to basics and learning some techniques of picking. I have a lot of the chords and strumming down but I've had a lot of trouble moving on from there and mixing in picking with chords.

For the diet and exercise, I see it as something I've been putting off since getting sober. I couldn't handle a diet or workout routine in month 1 or 2. I could barely stay sober. But I'm sick and tired of being overweight, tired, out of shape. I know how much better I can feel after a few months and I want my new normal to be healthy. I'm still taking it easy on myself though. My weight loss goal is 1lb per week which is a reasonable calorie restriction. I get hungry before dinner, but I'm not in panic mode.

nmd

My wife and I are arguing apparently and I don't exactly know what about. She for the most part didn't speak with me yesterday. The night before she became angry with me because I looked up a date on a calendar, which apparently meant I didn't trust what she was saying about when a event was. She's been out of work because of her back injury and spinal arthritis and her line of work requires lifting. I tried talking to her that night and she got into how she thinks she's depressed, which I understand. I also don't want to let her off the hook either and i told her how she's not doing the things she needs to or could do to make things better and I can't do them for her. She needs to follow up with the spinal Dr even if she doesn't want surgery. Ignoring the problem won't make it better. She's on meds for anxiety (lexapro) but she's drinking alcoholicly and meds don't work well with booze. She's "cut back" but 6beers a day is by no stretch a safe limit for a woman with high blood pressure or anyone really. You're not really supposed to drink at all on lexapro. She's increasingly become a shut in to a large degree over the past year. I tried to talk last night she just said she didn't want to talk because she didn't want to cry again, so I let it be.

On a positive note, things could have been worse. We weren't yelling at each other or anything like that. She asked me if I still loved her and I said of course I do. Being sober, I remember the conversation. I'm just frustrated watching things progress and not being able to do anything at all. The ball has been in her court for a long time on many issues. Her mood swings have become much more dramatic lately, earlier in the week she was having it out with her son. He deserved some of it as he's been acting disrespectful towards her in some ways, but her reaction was over the top. She isn't honest with her doctor about how much she drinks, and I won't agree with her that she needs more meds. The elephant in the room is the drinking. She's said she will deal with that after a trip we are taking in the 2nd week of February. I cant dictate a time line for her so it is what it is. I just asked she doesn't go off the rails drinking in the mean time. I know negotiating with a drinker doesn't work.

Sorry for the long rant. Probably "friends and family" or al anon material, but I don't really feel like dealing with a bunch of new people at the moment. I guess I'll see how the next month plays out. Thanks for listening

PhoenixJ

Prayers

nmd

Thank you PJ