My wife and I are arguing apparently and I don't exactly know what about. She for the most part didn't speak with me yesterday. The night before she became angry with me because I looked up a date on a calendar, which apparently meant I didn't trust what she was saying about when a event was. She's been out of work because of her back injury and spinal arthritis and her line of work requires lifting. I tried talking to her that night and she got into how she thinks she's depressed, which I understand. I also don't want to let her off the hook either and i told her how she's not doing the things she needs to or could do to make things better and I can't do them for her. She needs to follow up with the spinal Dr even if she doesn't want surgery. Ignoring the problem won't make it better. She's on meds for anxiety (lexapro) but she's drinking alcoholicly and meds don't work well with booze. She's "cut back" but 6beers a day is by no stretch a safe limit for a woman with high blood pressure or anyone really. You're not really supposed to drink at all on lexapro. She's increasingly become a shut in to a large degree over the past year. I tried to talk last night she just said she didn't want to talk because she didn't want to cry again, so I let it be.
On a positive note, things could have been worse. We weren't yelling at each other or anything like that. She asked me if I still loved her and I said of course I do. Being sober, I remember the conversation. I'm just frustrated watching things progress and not being able to do anything at all. The ball has been in her court for a long time on many issues. Her mood swings have become much more dramatic lately, earlier in the week she was having it out with her son. He deserved some of it as he's been acting disrespectful towards her in some ways, but her reaction was over the top. She isn't honest with her doctor about how much she drinks, and I won't agree with her that she needs more meds. The elephant in the room is the drinking. She's said she will deal with that after a trip we are taking in the 2nd week of February. I cant dictate a time line for her so it is what it is. I just asked she doesn't go off the rails drinking in the mean time. I know negotiating with a drinker doesn't work.
Sorry for the long rant. Probably "friends and family" or al anon material, but I don't really feel like dealing with a bunch of new people at the moment. I guess I'll see how the next month plays out. Thanks for listening