Caramel

Welcome, Angie

tekink

slips happen, I've slipped many times myself. I'm at day 19 now, made it 8 weeks once before that. don't beat yourself up about it! I found myself doing that and it drove me into the bottle again. I found accepting it and moving on, trying to learn from the experience made it easier for me to crawl back out of the whole.

I found SR on day 3 of this last quit, and it's proven very helpful to me. I'm having a much easier time than the battles I've been doing the last five months are so.

I was so shook up I misspelled my handle without realizing it for two days.

emme99

Bowski, I am sorry that happened, but please don't get beer. It won't help anything, and will just make things worse.

Welcome Angie Glad you are here.

Dee74

Try not to let it bother you Bowski - someone else made a mistake, not you.
Drinking would just make everything worse and make it more likely things like this will happen again.

A day a week a month from now, you won't care about this.
Rise above it tonight

D

ReadyAtLast

Morning all. Why is it when you can have a lie in and don't have to get up for work you wake at 5.30 !!!!!!!!!!

Welcome Angie.

Bowski - using the behaviour of others as a reason for us to drink is classic 'Beast' behaviour. Any reason to have a drink and all that. We get sober for ourselves and the only thing we can control is ourselves. You can't control what other people say and do but you CAN control how you react to them and what your next steps will be.

Maybe your wife was just having a bad day, maybe she was feeling ill or emotional about her father. Maybe she's worried about something or having work issues. We take things out on those closest to us. Breathe, walk away then give her a hug. (I'm female-hugs work )

As Dee says, it will blow over and it certainly isn't worth drinking over.

Happy Sober Sunday everyone.x

Sazzle

Welcome to the September group Angie. It's an awesome little group. You got this!

Sazzle

Sorry to hear that your wife upset you Bowski. Dee is spot on, beer won't help. I imagine your wife is stressed but that doesn't take away your hurt at being accused of something you didn't do. Take it easy

SoberRobster

Just checking in and wishing everyone a good day. I have spent hours and hours reading posts and as so many people have said we are not alone. I have read so many posts which I can relate to or draw courage from. Just on this thread:

Windancer - You have described me - I don't like to talk to people unless I am drunk, drinking has seriously increased my shyness. Also I had to smile about enjoying music sober this as one of the things I used to really enjoy surfing you tube listening to music for hours whilst I slowly drank myself each night into oblivion

Snarly - Keep fighting it mate - I am going to go to my first meeting tonight.

Sazzle - You mentioned Sober October. One of the worries I have is dealing with my issues as work, not that they have any real idea of my problem. I will ensure they all know I am Going Sober for October.

Sazzle

Morning all. Day 5 here. I've got a lot to do as I've got a house guest coming tomorrow and I need go straighten my home.

I think a celebratory breakfast is in order for surviving Friday and Saturday night.

I'm feeling very peaceful at the moment. Usually I would be sweating and panicking about cooking a dinner tomorrow night and having to entertain. I haven't even had my usual weekend dreaded thoughts about work either.

I have been seeing a counsellor after the breakdown of my most recent relationship and I think it is immensely helping my thought process. I seem to have stopped punishing myself and thinking things were all my fault.

Wishing you all have a peaceful Sunday

Sazzle

Someone else on here mentioned it and as I'm UK I'm going to use that as my explanation over the next 30 days. It's a great idea!!

I've been reading the posts on 'fessing up' to friends and family and I really don't want to give anyone power over my choices. I've quit and failed many times before and I've allowed others to use that as a stick to beat me with. Right now, the only person I feel I owe giving this my best shot to is myself. Other people are well intentioned but I can honestly say I trust people her more than my close friends and family. Not to say I don't trust them, but I don't even want people constantly asking if I'm ok and if I'm finding it hard etc. Last time I remember it being all people wanted to speak to me about when I was out but I love just chatting, getting to know people and not turning social events into a therapy session. Sorry, I've gone on!

Snarly

ReadyAtLast:

Thank you for this response to my BDay post.

It is responses like this that made me and continue to make me dig deeper inside my brain regardless of the physical stuff my body continues to endure.

The physical withdrawal is relatively small price to pay given how poorly I have treated my body. (now 12 days sober)

Eventually I will have to deal with the permanent damage I have done. have to accept that I cannot "fix" every thing TODAY.

You hit yet a whole new set of nerves. Thank you. Forward progress.

I also want to thank you for your ATTENTION TO DETAIL.

Your entire post made me rethink my role in S/R. I have read, reread and gone back to each OP (trying to adopt lingo - but really I am old school and still appreciate and value the beauty of a well written, well anything).

I looked at your # of posts ...wow.... this led me to spend some time reviewing several of your in depth responses (I am not stalking ) and again comparing them to OP posts.

I know -way to much time on my hands - and a brain that tortures me daily wanting to be challenged.

Why did I do this? I sensed a theme building. And then it hit me: ReadyatLast cares not only about the poster, but about what the poster is really talking about. and takes the time to address EACH of the components of the post. I am prior military and if I got anything that i value to carry forward in my life it is ATTENTION TO DETAIL.

So this was a radical new way to approach my role in this community.

I could continue reading and thanking posters for taking the time to post. I value peoples time and am truly grateful every time someone stops their life to respond no matter how small - I get why there is a "thank you" button..
Sometimes I wish you had 3 thank you options:
1. Thanks for recognizing my post - something so small can mean so much especially in the early days.
2. Short response - I read your post. meant something to me type comment
3. OMG you took some real time and put real thought in your response. You shared your story as it relates to ME and even some relevant idea to help in MY recovery. Side benefit these type of comments help more than just original poster

sorry for that side ramble... back to ME

What was my radical new way of thinking for my still booze pickled brain base on your responses?

I do not have to continue going forward as 10 days sober damaged goods. I can follow you and other senior members example and get out of my own head. Enough "poor me".

I am now 10 days sober. I need to act "my age". Enough about me!

I am now ready to accept I have work to do. I have had the tools. Dust off the cobwebs and get to work. It isn't rocket science: lists, inventories, goals, amends rinse, repeat.

I can now give back by sharing openly from ALL of my past experiences with sobriety - the good, the bad ,the ugly and painful. These members deserve this - heck I deserve this.

So armed with my new resolve to save humanity, I am turning "wasted" time into something of value. I now read each post carefully even taking notes.

I am drawn to ones that hit a nerve with me. I am also looking for posts that often get lost - often because of the volume of posts that some of the more interesting posts attract.

Then I try to say why I am answering and to make sure that I address the posters concerns.

There are some posts I will never respond to for a lot of reasons but the main reason is I know I don't have all the answers and there are people far more qualified to respond.

Wow!!!! sorry again for the rambling.... but this is really important to me. If I am overstepping my place, please let me know. It is easier to stay in my own head.

Thanks,

Snarly

WhiskeyBent

Hi Septmber Crew. Sunday morning here. I made it threw the wedding last night. Long night. Watching people get drunk can drag. The wedding it self was fun and im happy for them. Saw a lot of old friends. Come from a small town so it seems like within five minutes the word had spread i had stopped drinking. Like thats big news or something? lol
So i had to explain myself to person after person, people giving me health advise or telling me they could see a difference. Dude the last time you saw me was a year ago. Whatever.
I left at 11pm. Just when the dance floor was heating up. In the past I would be in the middle of the dance floor dancing right to last call. My wife was a bit bummed out I wouldnt dance. I just didnt feel like it. Got in the truck and drove home.
Laying in bed i was thinking, everyone is still having fun. I admit, I was a bit jelous. I guess thats normal.
Im up at 6 this morning, with no hangover, my kids watching dora the explorer, I guess life moves on.

thanks for listening.

ReadyAtLast

Gosh Snarly, thank you. What a lovely thing to say. Your post brought a tear to my eye.

I often think I am too self absorbed and centred talking about me but I remember Dee once saying that people relate to posts where people talk about themselves and their own experiences rather than telling people what they should and shouldn't do. I just try and bear that in mind. stalking on SR is fine btw


Love your idea about the thanking buttons btw

We don't get it right the whole time. I annoyed someone pretty badly this week which hurt when they fired back at me but I just try and understand how raw everyone is, especially in the beginning.

You aren't overstepping your place at all - please delete all thoughts like that from your mind. We are here all for you.

ReadyAtLast

Good stuff not drinking and for getting through the event WB

WhiskeyBent

Thanks! Im trying to spin it as a success. Still working on the idea that this is the new way. Your support helps the process.

HelenofTroy

THIS!!!

AND THIS!!! Such good advice on this forum.

entropy1964

Good Morning Sept.

Geez I'm not doing a good job keeping up with this thread! But congrats to all on staying sober another day.

Bowski, I understand getting angry. Maybe try to look at these emotional situations as an opportunity to practice new coping mechanisms. I can't control the behavior of others, but I can choose how I respond. I try to turn situations like the one you describe around. See it from the perspective of the person on the other side. No one really makes me angry. I choose that response. Anger is usually a sort of protective emotion for me. The emotions behind it are usually more telling...and more painful. The feeling of not being trusted, of not being good enough, maybe even betrayal to a certain degree. When I recognize what I'm really feeling, behind the anger, I can communicate to the person, when the time is right, why I'm reacting the way I am. "I'm angry at you" can cause an equal or greater angry reaction. But "I'm feeling like you don't trust me or feel I'm capable" says something else entirely.

entropy1964

And I should add, my daughter frustrates me non stop. Yesterday, I picked her up from a friends after a pretty strenuous hike. I was hungry and just wanted to go home but she wanted to practice driving (gets her license in about 5 months). So off we go. She's hungry too so we're discussing what to eat etc. She, of course, wants some kind of take away. I want to go to the market and get healthy (and less expensive) food to take home. She agrees. We go to the market. Half way through, she says she wants a burger. Ugh. Relatively cheap so I agree....although at this point I'm Hangry (hungry/angry) but keep a lid on it. So we end up with groceries that we didn't need, a burger, and then I get Chipotle. OK!!! So, this is no big deal right? But I was so irritated. Mostly because I just wanted to eat something. I know I know. It isn't a big deal. It's ALL in how I react. And I know this.

Time for yoga. Have a great day.

HelenofTroy

Good morning folks! (why is it everytime I type that I want to say good morning Vietnam! lol)

I am up to date on all the posts here and I have to say I get a real joy out of seeing the growth of so many of our classmates (Snarly I'm looking at you ). And sometimes for some folks that growth includes slips but seeing them come back and get back to it is growth. What an amazing community!

On day 4 here. I have a busy day ahead. I have a hot date - my brother is coming over for an early dinner and then we are heading out for an Alice Cooper concert. We have always been close but we only get to see each other a few times a year so I am really looking forward to some one on one time with him (our spouses aren't coming). I only recently learned how to make a decent pastry (thank you Paul Hollywood - my British classmates will know what I'm talking about there) so I am making a steak and ale pie with garlicy mashed potatoes. Yum! Normally I would be imbibing a bunch of wine making a meal like this but my brother is not a drinker so it should be easy to stick to my fizzy water.

So I'm off to do some domestic duties here. Wishing everyone a wonderful Sunday.

MyLoves

Good morning all!!

Day 6 starts for me i don't have time to respond lime i would like to but you guys are allam insperation. Its great that we all have eachother to lean on. I'm so glad i have found this group.

Have a great day people!