Class of June 2016 Support Thread Part 4
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Western New York
Posts: 2,447
After some sober time, i think my plan was working for the most part. Dealing with holidays or special occasions and not drinking had been tough and my downfall twice. My wedding this year, and thanksgiving way back in 2014. Accepting I can't do something is a toughie
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Western New York
Posts: 2,447
I'm trying. I have more time ahead of me to build acceptance at least. Yes, the holidays are coming, but I know I can make it through them, they aren't a personal occation. Sober time itself seems to be the strongest factor is accepting sobriety. Drinking makes you want to drink.
I have a lot of logical reasons not to drink which help in the short term at least. I have to go back to week 1 mentality of avoiding triggers, building support, divesting myself of anything drinking related
(Sorry for hijacking the June thread!)
I have a lot of logical reasons not to drink which help in the short term at least. I have to go back to week 1 mentality of avoiding triggers, building support, divesting myself of anything drinking related
(Sorry for hijacking the June thread!)
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 159
Day 94
NMD: yeah special occasions and holidays are going to be tough I think for everyone. I have to come up with a plan also. Hopefully by the time i get there I will have enough sober time under my belt that it'll be easier. I celebrated Halloween drinking and I'm so glad it falls on a week night this year because I'll have work the next day and it wont be a extended night for us like it usually is. One holiday at a time ya know just like one day at a time.
As for me... I'm telling you guys I'm being tested in so many areas I don't really understand it. From the rent house issues, to the lice issues (thankfully my daughter doesn't have it), to my husband thinking he's dying and now my son beat up another kid at school yesterday! So, apparently there's a bully at school and he messes with people all the time. My son goes to a catholic school but is new to private school and is used to the public school ways. He started this school in March of last year so only 2 months of the school year. He's now in 8th grade at this school but since he started this kid has been calling him shorty and a pu$$y. So, in athletics yesterday my son was getting ready for basketball practice and that kid said something to him. My son lost his temper and beat the kid up. All of the kids are being quiet about it and not telling the teachers. The kids have thanked my son because of the bully and him always messing with people. The issue is now the kid is saying he's telling on my son and going to get him expelled etc. I'm preparing myself for this phone call or meeting, I can't stand the principle at all shes very snotty. I don't condone going around beating people up but I do condone standing up for yourself against a bully. Nobody wants to be harassed constantly and with so many children committing suicide due to bullying, I'm sorry but I stand behind my son for putting a stop to it. I do teach my children to stand up for themselves. I'm preparing for the worst because he's new to the school and they look at him as a broken child since he's new to Catholic school and doesn't know all their prayers or any of that stuff. All I can say is, I'm no longer a drunk hot head and know that when confronted about it I will respond with class but matter of fact. *sigh*
Why am I being tested...
Hope everyone has a good SOBER Thursday!
As for me... I'm telling you guys I'm being tested in so many areas I don't really understand it. From the rent house issues, to the lice issues (thankfully my daughter doesn't have it), to my husband thinking he's dying and now my son beat up another kid at school yesterday! So, apparently there's a bully at school and he messes with people all the time. My son goes to a catholic school but is new to private school and is used to the public school ways. He started this school in March of last year so only 2 months of the school year. He's now in 8th grade at this school but since he started this kid has been calling him shorty and a pu$$y. So, in athletics yesterday my son was getting ready for basketball practice and that kid said something to him. My son lost his temper and beat the kid up. All of the kids are being quiet about it and not telling the teachers. The kids have thanked my son because of the bully and him always messing with people. The issue is now the kid is saying he's telling on my son and going to get him expelled etc. I'm preparing myself for this phone call or meeting, I can't stand the principle at all shes very snotty. I don't condone going around beating people up but I do condone standing up for yourself against a bully. Nobody wants to be harassed constantly and with so many children committing suicide due to bullying, I'm sorry but I stand behind my son for putting a stop to it. I do teach my children to stand up for themselves. I'm preparing for the worst because he's new to the school and they look at him as a broken child since he's new to Catholic school and doesn't know all their prayers or any of that stuff. All I can say is, I'm no longer a drunk hot head and know that when confronted about it I will respond with class but matter of fact. *sigh*
Why am I being tested...
Hope everyone has a good SOBER Thursday!
I look young for my age.
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 932
No worries about hijacking, nmd. We're your family, and we want to see you get it back together. Sounds like you know what to do to tackle the first few days, and now it's time to commit. Today can be your day 1. Seize it!
p.s.: day 80.
p.s.: day 80.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Western New York
Posts: 2,447
Thanks guys, it's great being able to come back here to people I already know even if we've never met. Day 2
Sfm, the whole bullying thing is tough. My kids have had it the worst on the school bus. Bullies take advantage of there being no adults besides the driver. They cause trouble and then lie about who is doing it. We are in a semi-rural area with no sidewalks, so basically every kid takes the bus. Locker rooms can be a problem as kids get older too. Luckily the schools don't seem to tolerate bullying much these days, but fighting is a tough one. Hopefully your son doesn't get expelled, I would expect not though. My experience with my boys getting into a scuffle has been a call from the principal. both of the boys called to his office and given a long talk. Repeated fighting would be a problem though
U75, your username is very short now, lol.
Sfm, the whole bullying thing is tough. My kids have had it the worst on the school bus. Bullies take advantage of there being no adults besides the driver. They cause trouble and then lie about who is doing it. We are in a semi-rural area with no sidewalks, so basically every kid takes the bus. Locker rooms can be a problem as kids get older too. Luckily the schools don't seem to tolerate bullying much these days, but fighting is a tough one. Hopefully your son doesn't get expelled, I would expect not though. My experience with my boys getting into a scuffle has been a call from the principal. both of the boys called to his office and given a long talk. Repeated fighting would be a problem though
U75, your username is very short now, lol.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Day 111. I was out for lunch with an old friend the other day. I hadn't seen him much since his wedding 10 years ago. His daughter at the time was 6 months old and he showed me a recent family photo with his daughter being 10. It was a weird moment for me as I realized how much time had gone by. I was drinking alcoholically at this friend's destination wedding in Barbados and I continued for another ten years. It's all a blur.
I look young for my age.
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 932
You too Dee!
Day 82. The house will soon be filled with the shrieking of 7yo girls for my daughter's b-day party. Thank goodness that was never a trigger for me, or I'd be in BIG trouble today!
Day 82. The house will soon be filled with the shrieking of 7yo girls for my daughter's b-day party. Thank goodness that was never a trigger for me, or I'd be in BIG trouble today!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 159
Day 96
U75: have fun with that!!! My daughter is going to sleepover tonight for her best friends 9th birthday. Lots of 8-9 year old girls for more than an hour for me would throw me over the edge! Lol
Day 96 for me and I feel pretty good. I lost weight I guess from not drinking so much because I haven't changed my diet other than cut beer out of it.
Today should be relaxing for me. We have light showers this morning and a cool front coming through. After I post this I'll go jogging and enjoy this Fall like weather. I already bought and burning my Fall scented candles (I have a bath and body works candle obsession). My house smells like pumpkin spice right now! I love being sober y'all my outlook on life is so nice. Clear head, I look better, I feel better, my hair is shiny again, my weight has dropped, everyday is different. I'm loving life right now. I spent my entire summer sober and now I'm changing seasons sober. I'm excited for this new life finally.
Happy SOBER Saturday!
Day 96 for me and I feel pretty good. I lost weight I guess from not drinking so much because I haven't changed my diet other than cut beer out of it.
Today should be relaxing for me. We have light showers this morning and a cool front coming through. After I post this I'll go jogging and enjoy this Fall like weather. I already bought and burning my Fall scented candles (I have a bath and body works candle obsession). My house smells like pumpkin spice right now! I love being sober y'all my outlook on life is so nice. Clear head, I look better, I feel better, my hair is shiny again, my weight has dropped, everyday is different. I'm loving life right now. I spent my entire summer sober and now I'm changing seasons sober. I'm excited for this new life finally.
Happy SOBER Saturday!
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Botswana
Posts: 384
changing seasons sober.
Spring has sprung here in South Africa, and we had the most beautiful day.
Flowers everywhere, birdsong and new constellations rising in the night sky again.
There is much in my life right now to feel thoroughly miserable about if I choose too.
Today reminded me that there is also much more to be grateful for. And I'm going to wake up sober tomorrow.
Go well, June bugs
Fradley
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 159
Day 98
Good Monday morning June peeps.
DAY 98 for ME!
What a ride this weekend has been. I ran into my sons friends parents that we used to binge drink with. They acted so strange to me like I was a alien. Their son was supposed to hang with with my son and their other friend but they came to pick him anyways. I asked them if he could stay to play tennis and they said, "naaa not this time because we're going to dinner and for drinks" like they intentionally told me that part. So ridiculous but it's okay because guess what, I woke up Sunday morning at 5am without a hang over, I went running, had a green drink for breakfast and my day was spent being productive instead of on the couch nursing a hang over. It's cool, my life is different I understand not everyone was my true friends and really just my drinking buddies. Oh well... I wont start drinking to feel included and I wont start drinking to make someone else feel better about them. *sigh*
Thank you all for being my support and letting me vent on here.
Have a wonderful SOBER Monday!
DAY 98 for ME!
What a ride this weekend has been. I ran into my sons friends parents that we used to binge drink with. They acted so strange to me like I was a alien. Their son was supposed to hang with with my son and their other friend but they came to pick him anyways. I asked them if he could stay to play tennis and they said, "naaa not this time because we're going to dinner and for drinks" like they intentionally told me that part. So ridiculous but it's okay because guess what, I woke up Sunday morning at 5am without a hang over, I went running, had a green drink for breakfast and my day was spent being productive instead of on the couch nursing a hang over. It's cool, my life is different I understand not everyone was my true friends and really just my drinking buddies. Oh well... I wont start drinking to feel included and I wont start drinking to make someone else feel better about them. *sigh*
Thank you all for being my support and letting me vent on here.
Have a wonderful SOBER Monday!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 134
Day 90. Kind of snuck up on me, but there it is.
Had a bunch of small kids to take care of this weekend. Sober, it is way easier. EASIER, not harder. Because you can appreciate their antics instead of getting easily irritated, because you can sense when things are getting out of hand, and because you aren't hung over.
It's Monday morning. Looks like the usual crazy week. But somewhere after day 60 I actually kind of started looking forward to Monday. I'm GLAD to have challenges that I get paid for.
And the new beard still looks OK. People seem to like it. Nobody knows except me that I grew it to mark myself as a new - sober - person.
At 60 days I set a record for the longest period of not drinking in my adult life. 90 is obviously a longer record. But the way I feel about it now, it's not so much record-setting anymore (although that is good) but settling in for the long haul. (And a GOOD long haul.) My "coping mechanisms" have all been tested a few times in response to the AV and have worked! So polishing them and keeping them well-oiled and improving them for the next time.
AV's still out there. "Just one drink," etc. And it's a crafty bugger. But it's getting quieter and it only knows so many tricks.
So good morning from Texas this Day 90!
Had a bunch of small kids to take care of this weekend. Sober, it is way easier. EASIER, not harder. Because you can appreciate their antics instead of getting easily irritated, because you can sense when things are getting out of hand, and because you aren't hung over.
It's Monday morning. Looks like the usual crazy week. But somewhere after day 60 I actually kind of started looking forward to Monday. I'm GLAD to have challenges that I get paid for.
And the new beard still looks OK. People seem to like it. Nobody knows except me that I grew it to mark myself as a new - sober - person.
At 60 days I set a record for the longest period of not drinking in my adult life. 90 is obviously a longer record. But the way I feel about it now, it's not so much record-setting anymore (although that is good) but settling in for the long haul. (And a GOOD long haul.) My "coping mechanisms" have all been tested a few times in response to the AV and have worked! So polishing them and keeping them well-oiled and improving them for the next time.
AV's still out there. "Just one drink," etc. And it's a crafty bugger. But it's getting quieter and it only knows so many tricks.
So good morning from Texas this Day 90!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: London
Posts: 201
Congrats to everyone on their milestones. Day 83 for me - still so happy to be one day behind you U75.
Things a little stressed here but coping with not drinking.
Have invited some girlfriends for dinner in a few weeks and AV has been a little active, to say the least! 'Just one drink, with your friends' kind of stuff
sure I can handle it. I can't not see friends for fear of giving in to something that's so bad for me and to me. Just need to make sure I am ready for the temptation. Have a great sober week everyone x
Things a little stressed here but coping with not drinking.
Have invited some girlfriends for dinner in a few weeks and AV has been a little active, to say the least! 'Just one drink, with your friends' kind of stuff
sure I can handle it. I can't not see friends for fear of giving in to something that's so bad for me and to me. Just need to make sure I am ready for the temptation. Have a great sober week everyone x
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Day 114. I went to the Blue Jay game with some people from AA. There was a large group of us sitting together so the beer vendor must have been a little frustrated as 30 adults all ignored him when he came around. It was certainly a new experience watching the game sober. For the last 20 years ive been drunk at every sports game and concert I've been to.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: London
Posts: 201
WL - bet you enjoyed that game? Doing things sober is so much more fun and enjoyable. It's like someone cleaned your glasses and ears out!
Day 84 - 12 WHOLE WEEKS - and although that is down to my resolve it's also thanks to everyone being here for me, especially when I was a little crazy, in the early days.
Still waking in the middle of the night but now I tend to go back to sleep. It's always bad dreams that wake me but that's not surprising really. It's a bit stressful here to say the least. I got upset last night and have started to feel panicky again. It's also 12 weeks since my husband left, so whilst my sobriety is to be celebrated it also reminds me that although I am married I no longer live with my husband - everything is OK between us but I don't like this situation. I think he is regretting signing that 6 month lease now, doesn't run out until February next year and that seems a long time to be living like this.
Can you all keep your fingers crossed that the house sale runs smooth for me, although I may be asking someone for a bed, as I have no idea where I am going to live.
Positivity - the sun is out here in the UK but there is a definite Autumnal nip in the air. Going to paint some chairs and then go for a little walk, maybe I might do one of those crazy 10 milers today, it might sort some of the confusion out in my head.
Here's to a fabulous sober day x x
Day 84 - 12 WHOLE WEEKS - and although that is down to my resolve it's also thanks to everyone being here for me, especially when I was a little crazy, in the early days.
Still waking in the middle of the night but now I tend to go back to sleep. It's always bad dreams that wake me but that's not surprising really. It's a bit stressful here to say the least. I got upset last night and have started to feel panicky again. It's also 12 weeks since my husband left, so whilst my sobriety is to be celebrated it also reminds me that although I am married I no longer live with my husband
- everything is OK between us but I don't like this situation. I think he is regretting signing that 6 month lease now, doesn't run out until February next year and that seems a long time to be living like this. Can you all keep your fingers crossed that the house sale runs smooth for me, although I may be asking someone for a bed, as I have no idea where I am going to live.
Positivity - the sun is out here in the UK but there is a definite Autumnal nip in the air. Going to paint some chairs and then go for a little walk, maybe I might do one of those crazy 10 milers today, it might sort some of the confusion out in my head.
Here's to a fabulous sober day x x
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