Class of March 2016 Support Part 13
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Hey Marchers! I’m back! DW and I have settled down and agreed to counseling, which starts next week. So, I can cautiously and safely post here, which my recovery needs. Day 9 today for me.
I’ve been lurking, and it was hard to do as this is such a lively group. I thank MITA, Casey, and Bobbieka for your kinds comments, and to all for understanding my hiatus. Sorry if I missed anyone. When reading Bobbiekas comments (just in case), I thought for sure I was her favorite, but the record was quickly set straight. LOL. Anyway, it’s good to post again, as I need to do that for my recovery.
Glad you feel good BBG! I do to, and also had a great sleep last night. Makes all the diff in the world, huh?
I took that test, and came back ENTP-T, “the debater”. Oh, so true. I’ve taken it many times over the years since college, and the NT have always rung true for me. In fact, I was amazed at how many of us are N – intuitive, but I guess our lives experiences have developed our intuitions, huh?
While lurking, I couldn’t help but notice the prevailing positivity of this group! I really like that, and am glad to be a part of it. It really helps. That’s why I can’t just lurk; I need to participate for my own recovery.
I also have noticed over my years at SR how articulate and expressive most are on this site. There are a lot of great writers on SR, and many artists of various sorts, I’ve noticed.
As far as high school personality goes, I was identified as a band geek of sorts and was first chair trumpet from 7th to 12th grade. Marched for a year, but had concert and stage band throughout. My parents rewarded me with a sterling silver Bach Strad b flat trumpet in high school which I cherished. I went on to play in concert band in college as well as jazz ensemble, but by then my drinking and pot use was interfering with my creative ability to improvise, so jazz only lasted a semester. I also worked at a steakhouse – the cafeteria style type – through high school, and worked my way from busboy to asst manager. I liked that job, and learned to cook while there. Also developed tastes for different foods.
Was never any good at sports, but I did ride a lot of motocross; bicycle until I was 14 and then motorcycle. Loved it.
Life came tumbling down for me starting in my 2nd semester freshman year of college. I won’t bore with details, but in the end, I was kicked out of my family’s home and never lived at home again, because of my smart/hurtful mouth. I then lived in my college town year-round, and persevered in school on the 5-1/2 yr plan, taking lesser loads and some semesters off to work. I worked 20-40 hrs/wk for all but my freshman year. I was evening shift mgr for a private pizzeria. Enjoyed that work. Also worked for the college.
Many poor decisions and bad behavior led to me selling my $1600 trumpet for $250 in my sophomore year. I still refer to that as the day I sold my soul. Music has never been back in my life to any significant degree as an artist since then. I also developed a coke habit that year that landed me in a 30 day rehab, and started my first sober stint, which lasted for 1.5 yrs. Then I returned to pot, which had been a daily habit prior, since age 15, and after pot came back booze. Never really did much more than that afterward. I also had other experiences in high school that I won’t dwell on here. Lets just say I was the problem child of the 4 children in our household.
Anyway, the fact that I survived alive, and have been blessed in so many ways since then is entire proof of the existence of a loving and forgiving God. I don’t deserve the life I have now. And I’m determined to not just thumb my nose at it and throw it away. It’s not perfect, mind you, but so much more than I deserve.
Glad to be back among the writing. Peace to all. Glad also to be among the sober. It’s been an anxious week with many words I wish had not been uttered, but today is a new and sober day, and for that I am grateful.
I’ve been lurking, and it was hard to do as this is such a lively group. I thank MITA, Casey, and Bobbieka for your kinds comments, and to all for understanding my hiatus. Sorry if I missed anyone. When reading Bobbiekas comments (just in case), I thought for sure I was her favorite, but the record was quickly set straight. LOL. Anyway, it’s good to post again, as I need to do that for my recovery.
Glad you feel good BBG! I do to, and also had a great sleep last night. Makes all the diff in the world, huh?
I took that test, and came back ENTP-T, “the debater”. Oh, so true. I’ve taken it many times over the years since college, and the NT have always rung true for me. In fact, I was amazed at how many of us are N – intuitive, but I guess our lives experiences have developed our intuitions, huh?
While lurking, I couldn’t help but notice the prevailing positivity of this group! I really like that, and am glad to be a part of it. It really helps. That’s why I can’t just lurk; I need to participate for my own recovery.
I also have noticed over my years at SR how articulate and expressive most are on this site. There are a lot of great writers on SR, and many artists of various sorts, I’ve noticed.
As far as high school personality goes, I was identified as a band geek of sorts and was first chair trumpet from 7th to 12th grade. Marched for a year, but had concert and stage band throughout. My parents rewarded me with a sterling silver Bach Strad b flat trumpet in high school which I cherished. I went on to play in concert band in college as well as jazz ensemble, but by then my drinking and pot use was interfering with my creative ability to improvise, so jazz only lasted a semester. I also worked at a steakhouse – the cafeteria style type – through high school, and worked my way from busboy to asst manager. I liked that job, and learned to cook while there. Also developed tastes for different foods.
Was never any good at sports, but I did ride a lot of motocross; bicycle until I was 14 and then motorcycle. Loved it.
Life came tumbling down for me starting in my 2nd semester freshman year of college. I won’t bore with details, but in the end, I was kicked out of my family’s home and never lived at home again, because of my smart/hurtful mouth. I then lived in my college town year-round, and persevered in school on the 5-1/2 yr plan, taking lesser loads and some semesters off to work. I worked 20-40 hrs/wk for all but my freshman year. I was evening shift mgr for a private pizzeria. Enjoyed that work. Also worked for the college.
Many poor decisions and bad behavior led to me selling my $1600 trumpet for $250 in my sophomore year. I still refer to that as the day I sold my soul. Music has never been back in my life to any significant degree as an artist since then. I also developed a coke habit that year that landed me in a 30 day rehab, and started my first sober stint, which lasted for 1.5 yrs. Then I returned to pot, which had been a daily habit prior, since age 15, and after pot came back booze. Never really did much more than that afterward. I also had other experiences in high school that I won’t dwell on here. Lets just say I was the problem child of the 4 children in our household.
Anyway, the fact that I survived alive, and have been blessed in so many ways since then is entire proof of the existence of a loving and forgiving God. I don’t deserve the life I have now. And I’m determined to not just thumb my nose at it and throw it away. It’s not perfect, mind you, but so much more than I deserve.
Glad to be back among the writing. Peace to all. Glad also to be among the sober. It’s been an anxious week with many words I wish had not been uttered, but today is a new and sober day, and for that I am grateful.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,343
Have you ever felt like jumping off a bridge? Yep, it's that kinda day. I would never do that, of course, but I sure would like to right now. You know it's going to be a tough one, especially when looking at your precious dog makes you want to scream. 
HALT... Not hungry... I am angry... not lonely (as a matter of fact, I'd love to be alone right now), and I'm not tired. Working on the angry part... trying to stay calm and breathe. I know I'll get through it.... sober. Thanks for letting me vent.
Hope you all have a better day than I am having today. I'm hoping that Day #4 gets better as the day goes on. Trying to stay positive.
HALT... Not hungry... I am angry... not lonely (as a matter of fact, I'd love to be alone right now), and I'm not tired. Working on the angry part... trying to stay calm and breathe. I know I'll get through it.... sober. Thanks for letting me vent.
Hope you all have a better day than I am having today. I'm hoping that Day #4 gets better as the day goes on. Trying to stay positive.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 7,334
Good to see you, Lofty. Glad you are working things out.
S2W - so sorry you are having a bad day. Hopefully it will turn around. It sounds like it's too peoply.
Missy - Good luck getting through next few days.
S2W - so sorry you are having a bad day. Hopefully it will turn around. It sounds like it's too peoply.
Missy - Good luck getting through next few days.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,343
Bobbie... that must be it! Too peoply. Actually, it's an adult daughter that makes horrible, poor choices. Ugh... I keep hoping she'll turn it around.
Applekat... I hope you feel better soon and have a wonderful vacation. I think that's what I need too... aaaahhhhhh the beach somewhere would be nice right about now (alone) haha.
Applekat... I hope you feel better soon and have a wonderful vacation. I think that's what I need too... aaaahhhhhh the beach somewhere would be nice right about now (alone) haha.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 7,334
Fabela - I hope you get to enjoy the family and not play hostess! Or maybe you enjoy that part. I suspect you do! I wish I could smell your house.
BBG - Good to hear you sounding so chipper today.
Kayak - what the heck are you talking about?!? Did I miss something or were you dreaming?
Pelagic - are you kidding me?!? We need you here as much as I suspect you need us.
Samantha - I hope things settle down for you soon.
Jemma - You seem good today as well. I hope things are going better for you.
MITA - Hey. I woke up at 3:00 am also. I liked a few posts and watched Dance Moms. (stop judging people) Felt like I went back to sleep in time for my alarm.
Rah - Good morning! Great job avoiding that cocktail. Glad you got to spend time with your daughter and granddaughter. Sounds like an awesome evening.
BBG - Good to hear you sounding so chipper today.
Kayak - what the heck are you talking about?!? Did I miss something or were you dreaming?
Pelagic - are you kidding me?!? We need you here as much as I suspect you need us.
Samantha - I hope things settle down for you soon.
Jemma - You seem good today as well. I hope things are going better for you.
MITA - Hey. I woke up at 3:00 am also. I liked a few posts and watched Dance Moms. (stop judging people) Felt like I went back to sleep in time for my alarm.
Rah - Good morning! Great job avoiding that cocktail. Glad you got to spend time with your daughter and granddaughter. Sounds like an awesome evening.
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
S2W...There is a good technique for anger in the book "The Here and Now..." By Byrn. The book is about mindfulness as a meditation. The technique is, ironically, SOBER. S = Stop. O = observe. B = breathe. E = expand your awareness of the situation (kind of like separating yourself and looking at it as a 3rd party). R = Respond mindfully. The technique works for me to quell that insidious anger, which is an issue for me, and a trigger. The book was highlighted here on SR and the author is Byrn.
Glad you checked in. Take it easy
Glad you checked in. Take it easy
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 7,334
A little drunk humor. Sorry it's so long.
There was this old drunk, of the worst variety, sleeping under a bridge next to the river. As he is bedding down for the night, pulling the daily news around him for warmth, a sleek black limo pulls up and out steps the most beautiful woman he has ever seen!
The beautiful woman says to him, "You there!! What are you doing?"
The drunk says, "Going to bed"
Beautiful woman, "Nonsense!! I won't have it!! Come with me! I will take you to my mansion for the night and in the morning I will take you to my factory and put you to work, please get in my limo"
So the astounded drunk gets in and off they go. They arrive at her mansion and are greeted by the butler. The beautiful woman instructs her servant to show the drunk to the guest suite, draw him a bath, discard his rags and lay out new cloths. After the bath the man is treated to a fine meal! Clean, belly full and snuggled under the covers, the drunk is ready for sleep.
The beautiful woman passes his room and notices the light still on. She knocks and enters. She is wearing a very revealing and very sexy black neglige. The beautiful woman asks the drunk why he is still up. Are you not satisfied? Are the clothes ok? Was your bath warm enough? Was your meal sufficient? To all this the drunk responds with enthusiasm and ensures her that he could NOT ask for more!! He had been sleeping on cement and eating trash when she rescued him!! To that the beautiful woman states that obviously he must be very lonely and could use some company under the covers until he falls asleep. She approached the bed and asked him to move over so that she may join him. The drunk rolled over to give her room and promptly fell into the river...
The moral of this story is: Better to be Sober having a drunk dream then to be drunk, having a sober dream...
There was this old drunk, of the worst variety, sleeping under a bridge next to the river. As he is bedding down for the night, pulling the daily news around him for warmth, a sleek black limo pulls up and out steps the most beautiful woman he has ever seen!
The beautiful woman says to him, "You there!! What are you doing?"
The drunk says, "Going to bed"
Beautiful woman, "Nonsense!! I won't have it!! Come with me! I will take you to my mansion for the night and in the morning I will take you to my factory and put you to work, please get in my limo"
So the astounded drunk gets in and off they go. They arrive at her mansion and are greeted by the butler. The beautiful woman instructs her servant to show the drunk to the guest suite, draw him a bath, discard his rags and lay out new cloths. After the bath the man is treated to a fine meal! Clean, belly full and snuggled under the covers, the drunk is ready for sleep.
The beautiful woman passes his room and notices the light still on. She knocks and enters. She is wearing a very revealing and very sexy black neglige. The beautiful woman asks the drunk why he is still up. Are you not satisfied? Are the clothes ok? Was your bath warm enough? Was your meal sufficient? To all this the drunk responds with enthusiasm and ensures her that he could NOT ask for more!! He had been sleeping on cement and eating trash when she rescued him!! To that the beautiful woman states that obviously he must be very lonely and could use some company under the covers until he falls asleep. She approached the bed and asked him to move over so that she may join him. The drunk rolled over to give her room and promptly fell into the river...
The moral of this story is: Better to be Sober having a drunk dream then to be drunk, having a sober dream...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 74
hi, guys & girls! still here- still clean & sober! haven't been on this forum much the last few days- life is in a mess- some r/t my issues, some totally not- & totally out of my control. hubby & i are managing it all as well as we can. i got really sad & depressed about it last evening, but knew that that feeling would pass- & life goes on. when i am not around- don't worry- just otherwise occupied. ya'll all take care!
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Just a quick note. Each day of sobriety I seem to be getting a little more of my cognitive abilities back. I am also getting back the reality that I am SO far behind in my work and my life that it's overwhelming. Just saying this as a note to self to stay on the path so I don't go back to that hopeless uselessness I have had while drinking.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Starting day 54. So much for waking up early. I mean, I did wake up at about 8:15 but I looked at the clock and said Fabela's favorite word, "Pfft" and fell back asleep for two more hours.
Last day off today before a long long long Mother's Day weekend at work. No real plans. I'll probably go to a meeting tonight. Need to run by the grocery store for a few odds and ends so I'm sure my middle finger will be aimed at the beer/wine aisle at some point.
You didn't say anything Tuesday night that you needed to apologize for, Pelagic263. Recommended a couple of good bands for me to listen to. Don't stay away from here--you've sobered up before and can do it again. And you're not going to find a better group of folks to do it with. Pour out any booze you've got at the house right now and jump back on the road to recovery with us please! Dee's right--this place is for those who are struggling too, maybe even more so.
Thanks for answering my question, Fabela. I think National Work in the Yard Day is a great reason for a holiday. As is National Lay Around in Your Pajamas and Watch Television All Day Day or National Give Charlie a Bath Day To answer your question, there was no real desire to get to page 30--I was just being silly AND trying to get some folks to get back in here and post who'd been missing. Plus it kept me sober for another day. Glad you're still feeling good.
Thanks for sharing a little about what ManInTheHighSchoolArena was like. Sorry you're having sleep issues.
I'm with Fabela, Kayak63sc. I sure as heck don't remember you causing any trouble. You have been very much missed and mentioned many times. Glad you checked back in. and had a good weekend. Stay close! We need you.
Darn, I was hoping Dee74 would support my theory that all Australians know each other personally. Anyways, thank you , Dee, for all you do here.
Glad you've recognized that the work stress is getting to you and, more importantly, that your exercise and diet routines play a large part in avoiding that stress, samantha14. Stick close. We've got your back today. Don't take that first drink no matter what!
rah555, give yourself a little sober time, a few months at least, and then look at the whole job situation again. Things might look differently for you by then. Glad you didn't take that drink last night and had a nice visit with your daughter and grandkid. Have a safe rest of your trip and remember we're here 24/7 if you need us. I know we need you.
immri, I identify 100% with your perception of yourself changing in huge ways while trying to quit drinking, even though so many of those quits have not been successful long-term. I am a totally different person than I was a few years ago, and, trying to be modest here, I think I'm a better person. This change in my perception of myself has made lasting sobriety a much more possible goal for myself. Sleep good! So happy you're one of us today.
My stomach just turned at the mention of vodka and Gatorade, Jemma. What a horrible concoction that I drank way too many times. I'm glad I never have to feel that way again. And I'm even more glad that you checked in with us. Keep on doing the next right thing! You've got this.
Sounds like a ribeye and tater are the perfect sleeping pill for you, beerbgone. Have a great day!
67 days is AMAZING, Applekat! Don't forget to have fun as this vacation starts. Cool thing about this modern age is that Class of March 2016 will be right there with you the whole way sitting in your pocket on your phone.
Good night to you and your quirky cat, Mish! Talk to you later today.
Have a wonderful reunion with your husband, Bobbieka. Absolutely love the modern day fable you told us! Great lesson there for all of us.
So glad you're sticking with us, LoftyIdeals, and even more glad for you that you and Mrs. Lofty are trying to work it out. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. So much I can identify and empathize with there. Maybe you can take some of the money you're saving by not buying poison and get yourself another trumpet. Or it's never too late to learn the guitar or drums! I bet playing the drums would be really cathartic for all of us. I should get a set. My neighbor's noisy bird wouldn't stand a chance. Oh, by the way, love the SOBER technique. That's going in my toolbox.
So sorry to hear you're having a bad day, Surrender2Win. Just remember that drinking is a false solution. As is jumping off a bridge. We're here all day if you need to vent or cry or punch some walls. You and your daughter (and your dog) are in my thoughts and prayers...sounds like the Serenity prayer would be a good one for you today.
Congrats on double digits, Missy7! Glad you made time to check in. Keep building those accountability muscles.
Ladyboo! We've missed you! Sorry things have been rough but so happy to hear you're staying sober through it all. Stick close--we need you!
Lot of solid recovery and fellowship happening here today. Feel like I've been writing in here for forever this morning, but that's a good thing.
Remember you don't have to take that first drink today no matter what! Ask for help when you need it. Help others when you can even if it's just lending an ear to listen.
Last day off today before a long long long Mother's Day weekend at work. No real plans. I'll probably go to a meeting tonight. Need to run by the grocery store for a few odds and ends so I'm sure my middle finger will be aimed at the beer/wine aisle at some point.
You didn't say anything Tuesday night that you needed to apologize for, Pelagic263. Recommended a couple of good bands for me to listen to. Don't stay away from here--you've sobered up before and can do it again. And you're not going to find a better group of folks to do it with. Pour out any booze you've got at the house right now and jump back on the road to recovery with us please! Dee's right--this place is for those who are struggling too, maybe even more so.
Thanks for answering my question, Fabela. I think National Work in the Yard Day is a great reason for a holiday. As is National Lay Around in Your Pajamas and Watch Television All Day Day or National Give Charlie a Bath Day To answer your question, there was no real desire to get to page 30--I was just being silly AND trying to get some folks to get back in here and post who'd been missing. Plus it kept me sober for another day. Glad you're still feeling good.
Thanks for sharing a little about what ManInTheHighSchoolArena was like. Sorry you're having sleep issues.
I'm with Fabela, Kayak63sc. I sure as heck don't remember you causing any trouble. You have been very much missed and mentioned many times. Glad you checked back in. and had a good weekend. Stay close! We need you.
Darn, I was hoping Dee74 would support my theory that all Australians know each other personally. Anyways, thank you , Dee, for all you do here.
Glad you've recognized that the work stress is getting to you and, more importantly, that your exercise and diet routines play a large part in avoiding that stress, samantha14. Stick close. We've got your back today. Don't take that first drink no matter what!
rah555, give yourself a little sober time, a few months at least, and then look at the whole job situation again. Things might look differently for you by then. Glad you didn't take that drink last night and had a nice visit with your daughter and grandkid. Have a safe rest of your trip and remember we're here 24/7 if you need us. I know we need you.
immri, I identify 100% with your perception of yourself changing in huge ways while trying to quit drinking, even though so many of those quits have not been successful long-term. I am a totally different person than I was a few years ago, and, trying to be modest here, I think I'm a better person. This change in my perception of myself has made lasting sobriety a much more possible goal for myself. Sleep good! So happy you're one of us today.
My stomach just turned at the mention of vodka and Gatorade, Jemma. What a horrible concoction that I drank way too many times. I'm glad I never have to feel that way again. And I'm even more glad that you checked in with us. Keep on doing the next right thing! You've got this.
Sounds like a ribeye and tater are the perfect sleeping pill for you, beerbgone. Have a great day!
67 days is AMAZING, Applekat! Don't forget to have fun as this vacation starts. Cool thing about this modern age is that Class of March 2016 will be right there with you the whole way sitting in your pocket on your phone.
Good night to you and your quirky cat, Mish! Talk to you later today.
Have a wonderful reunion with your husband, Bobbieka. Absolutely love the modern day fable you told us! Great lesson there for all of us.
So glad you're sticking with us, LoftyIdeals, and even more glad for you that you and Mrs. Lofty are trying to work it out. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. So much I can identify and empathize with there. Maybe you can take some of the money you're saving by not buying poison and get yourself another trumpet. Or it's never too late to learn the guitar or drums! I bet playing the drums would be really cathartic for all of us. I should get a set. My neighbor's noisy bird wouldn't stand a chance. Oh, by the way, love the SOBER technique. That's going in my toolbox.
So sorry to hear you're having a bad day, Surrender2Win. Just remember that drinking is a false solution. As is jumping off a bridge. We're here all day if you need to vent or cry or punch some walls. You and your daughter (and your dog) are in my thoughts and prayers...sounds like the Serenity prayer would be a good one for you today.
Congrats on double digits, Missy7! Glad you made time to check in. Keep building those accountability muscles.
Ladyboo! We've missed you! Sorry things have been rough but so happy to hear you're staying sober through it all. Stick close--we need you!
Lot of solid recovery and fellowship happening here today. Feel like I've been writing in here for forever this morning, but that's a good thing.
Remember you don't have to take that first drink today no matter what! Ask for help when you need it. Help others when you can even if it's just lending an ear to listen.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 593
Thanks Bobbieka. Here's my all-time favorite long joke, told by Pee Wee Herman on Letterman in 1984. As Pee Wee would say, "I love that story."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTzTKHEjW4Y
Doing OK here, just disappointed. Thanks Casey, we posted same time. Sometimes I just don't know and often would rather not.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTzTKHEjW4Y
Doing OK here, just disappointed. Thanks Casey, we posted same time. Sometimes I just don't know and often would rather not.
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