Class Of January 2016 Support Thread part 8
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,221
Originally Posted by bandicoot2 
Evening Jannies,
So to piggy back off 'you can only control your own actions', I'm reading a very insightful book. The Resilience Factor, 7 Essential Skills for Overcoming Life's Inevitable Obstacles. It's very detailed and sometimes I only fit in a chapter a day (with some homework) but it's helping me realize that my lack of resilience in most areas of my life led to my alcoholism.
With that said, sometimes there are just people in our lives that are toxic and we must decide how to handle them in order to maintain our sanity and sobriety. Due to some wise advice on SR, I'm not making any major personal changes during my first year of Sobriety other than returning to work. The toxic people in my life will have to wait their turn, until I'm strong enough to deal with them and any fallout from my decisions.
I also think my years of therapy, both single and couples, helped me grow as a person and was one of the catalysts for getting sober. It can be a blessing as long as the therapist is a good fit.
Night all....take care
So to piggy back off 'you can only control your own actions', I'm reading a very insightful book. The Resilience Factor, 7 Essential Skills for Overcoming Life's Inevitable Obstacles. It's very detailed and sometimes I only fit in a chapter a day (with some homework) but it's helping me realize that my lack of resilience in most areas of my life led to my alcoholism.
With that said, sometimes there are just people in our lives that are toxic and we must decide how to handle them in order to maintain our sanity and sobriety. Due to some wise advice on SR, I'm not making any major personal changes during my first year of Sobriety other than returning to work. The toxic people in my life will have to wait their turn, until I'm strong enough to deal with them and any fallout from my decisions.
I also think my years of therapy, both single and couples, helped me grow as a person and was one of the catalysts for getting sober. It can be a blessing as long as the therapist is a good fit.
Night all....take care
And you are right about the therapist- are you still seeing one now? I can't wait to get back into it and have someone to talk to.
EnjoyingTheJourney
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 3,847
Pa Thump sounds like a wise man.....Sorry for your loss
Hi Olivia, the Resilience book is authored by Reivich and Shatte.
I believe Sober in Syracuse did the amino acid therapy with good results. She's offline line now but may be available by PM?
Sunflower, I too am trying the 5htp!
Wishing everyone a peaceful and Sober day. Take care Jannies
Hi Olivia, the Resilience book is authored by Reivich and Shatte.
I believe Sober in Syracuse did the amino acid therapy with good results. She's offline line now but may be available by PM?
Sunflower, I too am trying the 5htp!
Wishing everyone a peaceful and Sober day. Take care Jannies
EnjoyingTheJourney
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 3,847
Hi Sunflower, not right now. We saw a therapist for marital issues for several years and in the process i learned a lot about myself. I really respect my therapist though and will see her on my own if the need arises.
Hope all goes well with your little one this week as you transition more time away from him
Hope all goes well with your little one this week as you transition more time away from him
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Missouri
Posts: 515
Mornin!
Sun - age makes a HUGE difference in controlling your reactions. I'm sure it can be learned in an adult manner throughout your life early.
I'm off and running! I have my coffee to 1.5 cups a day. I like to top off my first cup. I keep thinking about stopping that too. Mostly from the teeth stain! Husband quit that too on Jan 1 ! I did cut out the creamer, be it fat free or sugar free! I used to drink it black. Why gooble it up with that crap!
Ahhh French vanilla!
Take care all.
Marcia
Sun - age makes a HUGE difference in controlling your reactions. I'm sure it can be learned in an adult manner throughout your life early.
I'm off and running! I have my coffee to 1.5 cups a day. I like to top off my first cup. I keep thinking about stopping that too. Mostly from the teeth stain! Husband quit that too on Jan 1 ! I did cut out the creamer, be it fat free or sugar free! I used to drink it black. Why gooble it up with that crap!
Ahhh French vanilla!
Take care all.
Marcia
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
Good morning Jannies.
Delilah, you really are a great mom! I remember when my children went through that sensitive age (13-15), I tried very hard to get them to speak with a counselor, but they refused. I even put a magnet on the refrigerator with the employee assistance phone numbers clearly listed, and explained that it would be completely confidential. They both made it through and are well adjusted, but it does show that you are a positive influence for your daughter!
The new job is going well, with a few more weeks of training ahead of me. I like the company's mission and values, and the employee morale is very upbeat and positive!
Thank you for the book recommendation, Bandi, I need to start reading again and I've added it my list.
I too am a big fan of supplements, having used herbs and vitamins for decades. I took 5HPT in the past, with no noticeable results, but Sam-E and Rhodiola have worked well for me.
Regarding my previous post regarding allergy symptoms of a sore throat and hoarseness, it seems to be sporadic lately, and I'm beginning to think that it's a progression of symptoms tied to Sjogren's Syndrom, an autoimmune disorder. I was diagnosed with Aide's Pupil Eye Syndrom around 10 years ago (one pupil much larger than the other - more noticeable in direct sunlight), which was backed by lack of normal reflex testing as a child (tapping knee). The dry-eye syndrome label was added 5 years ago. The dry skin and sore throat started earlier this year. No, I'm not being paranoid in self-diagnosing, I read up about Adie's eye years ago, and that it was often tied to Sjogren's Syndrom. I'll follow-up by requesting further testing, but even with a firm diagnosis, there is no cure, only learning to live with the uncomfortable symptoms. I'm already taking the suggested oil supplements; Fish Oil, Flaxseed, Borage and Primrose.
In reality, I've had many of the symptoms for years, I just never tied them together (or held steadfast to denial!) and apparently my doctor, dentist and opthamologist haven't connected the dots either.
One of my sisters was diagnosed with lupus years ago, and my mom mentioned another relative has raynaud's, so it appears there is an autoimmune disorder in the genes.
Well, that's all I have time for this morning, I'll check in this evening.
Oh, Marcia, I find the almond butter much lower in sugar and carbs than the typical hazelnut/peanut butter spreads (Justin's brand), without compromising taste and flavor. Just a nice "healthier" treat that I'll resume, since the almond allergy was wishful thinking....
Delilah, you really are a great mom! I remember when my children went through that sensitive age (13-15), I tried very hard to get them to speak with a counselor, but they refused. I even put a magnet on the refrigerator with the employee assistance phone numbers clearly listed, and explained that it would be completely confidential. They both made it through and are well adjusted, but it does show that you are a positive influence for your daughter!
The new job is going well, with a few more weeks of training ahead of me. I like the company's mission and values, and the employee morale is very upbeat and positive!
Thank you for the book recommendation, Bandi, I need to start reading again and I've added it my list.
I too am a big fan of supplements, having used herbs and vitamins for decades. I took 5HPT in the past, with no noticeable results, but Sam-E and Rhodiola have worked well for me.
Regarding my previous post regarding allergy symptoms of a sore throat and hoarseness, it seems to be sporadic lately, and I'm beginning to think that it's a progression of symptoms tied to Sjogren's Syndrom, an autoimmune disorder. I was diagnosed with Aide's Pupil Eye Syndrom around 10 years ago (one pupil much larger than the other - more noticeable in direct sunlight), which was backed by lack of normal reflex testing as a child (tapping knee). The dry-eye syndrome label was added 5 years ago. The dry skin and sore throat started earlier this year. No, I'm not being paranoid in self-diagnosing, I read up about Adie's eye years ago, and that it was often tied to Sjogren's Syndrom. I'll follow-up by requesting further testing, but even with a firm diagnosis, there is no cure, only learning to live with the uncomfortable symptoms. I'm already taking the suggested oil supplements; Fish Oil, Flaxseed, Borage and Primrose.
In reality, I've had many of the symptoms for years, I just never tied them together (or held steadfast to denial!) and apparently my doctor, dentist and opthamologist haven't connected the dots either.
One of my sisters was diagnosed with lupus years ago, and my mom mentioned another relative has raynaud's, so it appears there is an autoimmune disorder in the genes.
Well, that's all I have time for this morning, I'll check in this evening.
Oh, Marcia, I find the almond butter much lower in sugar and carbs than the typical hazelnut/peanut butter spreads (Justin's brand), without compromising taste and flavor. Just a nice "healthier" treat that I'll resume, since the almond allergy was wishful thinking....
Alive in the Superunknown
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: 30.47ºN, 98.15ºW
Posts: 1,460
G'morning, Jannies. It's my Friday here.
Found my next project last night at work -- I need a utility shelf for my porch, because my trailer is pretty small, and I discovered one at work being discarded by our parent company last night, so I threw it in the back of my truck. I need to put sides and doors on it, and waterproof/finish it, but that will take up my weekend here.
Well, that, and cleaning aforementioned trailer -- I really need to get started on my spring cleaning, it's past due.
I hope all and sundry have a great day.
I hear you. My ex- and I would get into fierce arguments, in large part because I simply responded out of the emotions of the moment. What I'm working on right now is keeping quiet until I understand for myself why I don't like something, and until the initial emotional reaction has worn off.
It is for me, but like anything it's an imperfect process -- it's very difficult at times to not succumb to flashes of emotion. I believe I'm better about it than I was six months ago, but still have a long way to go.
Found my next project last night at work -- I need a utility shelf for my porch, because my trailer is pretty small, and I discovered one at work being discarded by our parent company last night, so I threw it in the back of my truck. I need to put sides and doors on it, and waterproof/finish it, but that will take up my weekend here.
Well, that, and cleaning aforementioned trailer -- I really need to get started on my spring cleaning, it's past due.
I hope all and sundry have a great day.
Originally Posted by Sunflowerlife
Why it is this hard to actually practice around DH is beyond me. That's why I'm so torn- I do believe we are responsible for our reactions/responses but with some people that anger is triggered so quickly and the flood of emotions seem to take over any rational response that would otherwise be easy.
Originally Posted by Sunflowerlife
I imagine with practice it can get better.
Alive in the Superunknown
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: 30.47ºN, 98.15ºW
Posts: 1,460
Originally Posted by Odelle
Regarding my previous post regarding allergy symptoms of a sore throat and hoarseness, it seems to be sporadic lately, and I'm beginning to think that it's a progression of symptoms tied to Sjogren's Syndrom, an autoimmune disorder. I was diagnosed with Aide's Pupil Eye Syndrom around 10 years ago (one pupil much larger than the other - more noticeable in direct sunlight), which was backed by lack of normal reflex testing as a child (tapping knee). The dry-eye syndrome label was added 5 years ago. The dry skin and sore throat started earlier this year. No, I'm not being paranoid in self-diagnosing, I read up about Adie's eye years ago, and that it was often tied to Sjogren's Syndrom. I'll follow-up by requesting further testing, but even with a firm diagnosis, there is no cure, only learning to live with the uncomfortable symptoms. I'm already taking the suggested oil supplements; Fish Oil, Flaxseed, Borage and Primrose.
In reality, I've had many of the symptoms for years, I just never tied them together (or held steadfast to denial!) and apparently my doctor, dentist and opthamologist haven't connected the dots either.
One of my sisters was diagnosed with lupus years ago, and my mom mentioned another relative has raynaud's, so it appears there is an autoimmune disorder in the genes.
In reality, I've had many of the symptoms for years, I just never tied them together (or held steadfast to denial!) and apparently my doctor, dentist and opthamologist haven't connected the dots either.
One of my sisters was diagnosed with lupus years ago, and my mom mentioned another relative has raynaud's, so it appears there is an autoimmune disorder in the genes.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,056
Hello,
Thanks for the hugs and kind posts about my daughter. I just read them and got a little teary-eyed. I feel so grateful for the little community we have formed.
Thumpa, your dad sounds like he was a great guy, and I love that his little bits of wisdom live on through you.
Sunny, I hope things are better on the Homefront.
Bandi, I ordered the book you shared last night on Amazon, and it should arrive tomorrow. I am currently reading two books, one for work, and one for fun. My kids and husband give me a hard time because I always have a new book that I am reading.
Odelle, I hope you start feeling better. Is there a genetic test for that autoimmune disease? My mom has lupus, she was diagnosed in 1995. Last year when I was dealing with health issues they were doing lots of tests and they found I have an autoimmune disorder called hemochromatosis, which can lead to issues with organs and joints.
I am going to log off and get at least thirty minutes of reading in before my head hits the pillow!!!
Have a great night Jannies!!
❤️ Delilah
Thanks for the hugs and kind posts about my daughter. I just read them and got a little teary-eyed. I feel so grateful for the little community we have formed.
Thumpa, your dad sounds like he was a great guy, and I love that his little bits of wisdom live on through you.
Sunny, I hope things are better on the Homefront.
Bandi, I ordered the book you shared last night on Amazon, and it should arrive tomorrow. I am currently reading two books, one for work, and one for fun. My kids and husband give me a hard time because I always have a new book that I am reading.
Odelle, I hope you start feeling better. Is there a genetic test for that autoimmune disease? My mom has lupus, she was diagnosed in 1995. Last year when I was dealing with health issues they were doing lots of tests and they found I have an autoimmune disorder called hemochromatosis, which can lead to issues with organs and joints.
I am going to log off and get at least thirty minutes of reading in before my head hits the pillow!!!
Have a great night Jannies!!
❤️ Delilah
Alive in the Superunknown
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: 30.47ºN, 98.15ºW
Posts: 1,460
Heavy storm landing here right now ... gosh, I love Texas. Thunder crashing, rain beating on the porch, and no doubt tomorrow will be sunny and hot as usual.
Delilah, my dad was indeed one hell of a man, flaws and all. I'm too old to idolize him or think of him as perfect, of course, but he did his best with what he had -- inside him and inside me -- and though our relationship was rocky for, and even absent for, a stretch, his lessons, his own insights, never left me wondering about right and wrong.
I think one of the things I have to deal with in my own recovery is how I felt, and feel, that I never lived up to what he wanted of me. Seems I always struggled, and still do to live up to these noble ideals and raucous notions I imbibed from him -- chasing a ghost, y'know?
On an intellectual level I can separate myself from that; I can see his flawed thinking. But on an emotional level leaving behind his vision of his son and who and what that son should be like is bloody hard.
But you're absolutely right -- he was a great guy.
Delilah, my dad was indeed one hell of a man, flaws and all. I'm too old to idolize him or think of him as perfect, of course, but he did his best with what he had -- inside him and inside me -- and though our relationship was rocky for, and even absent for, a stretch, his lessons, his own insights, never left me wondering about right and wrong.
I think one of the things I have to deal with in my own recovery is how I felt, and feel, that I never lived up to what he wanted of me. Seems I always struggled, and still do to live up to these noble ideals and raucous notions I imbibed from him -- chasing a ghost, y'know?
On an intellectual level I can separate myself from that; I can see his flawed thinking. But on an emotional level leaving behind his vision of his son and who and what that son should be like is bloody hard.
But you're absolutely right -- he was a great guy.
Alive in the Superunknown
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: 30.47ºN, 98.15ºW
Posts: 1,460
Thanks, Odie. It's easy to look great online 
It's my Saturday, I'm going to spend the day modifying a cabinet for outside-storage duty. The storm has blown off and it's a beautiful day here.
It's my Saturday, I'm going to spend the day modifying a cabinet for outside-storage duty. The storm has blown off and it's a beautiful day here.
just keep swimming
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 504
Originally Posted by Thumpalumpacus
I think one of the things I have to deal with in my own recovery is how I felt, and feel, that I never lived up to what he wanted of me. Seems I always struggled, and still do to live up to these noble ideals and raucous notions I imbibed from him -- chasing a ghost, y'know?
On an intellectual level I can separate myself from that; I can see his flawed thinking. But on an emotional level leaving behind his vision of his son and who and what that son should be like is bloody hard.
But you're absolutely right -- he was a great guy.
just keep swimming
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 504
Evening all. Have much to say, but not enough energy to put it down.
It's actually my birthday, though... I worked out it's my first ever sober birthday since late teens! 20 odd years. How scary is that?!
Hope all are well. Hopefully will be able to catch up soon xx
It's actually my birthday, though... I worked out it's my first ever sober birthday since late teens! 20 odd years. How scary is that?!
Hope all are well. Hopefully will be able to catch up soon xx
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,602
Happy Birthday Mav - have a great year ahead
It may be easy to look good online Thump but I think we tend to go a bit deeper here than most forums.
You sound like a stand up guy to me and one I'm proud to know
D
It may be easy to look good online Thump but I think we tend to go a bit deeper here than most forums.
You sound like a stand up guy to me and one I'm proud to know
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,056
Originally Posted by Odelle
Thumpa, I think you are a great guy, one that your father would be very proud of!
EnjoyingTheJourney
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 3,847
Originally Posted by Delilah1
Odelle stole my words, I agree that you are a great guy, and your dad would be very proud!
Seriously though Thump, there is real depth to your recovery and we all benefit from your growth and true words. Thank you.
EnjoyingTheJourney
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 3,847
HAPPY Birthday MAV!! 
That's pretty cool that you're celebrating Sober this year....hope it's your best one yet-
You've been super tired for a long time. Sorry you feel that way...are you gonna get yourself checked out anytime soon? Take care!
That's pretty cool that you're celebrating Sober this year....hope it's your best one yet-
You've been super tired for a long time. Sorry you feel that way...are you gonna get yourself checked out anytime soon? Take care!
EnjoyingTheJourney
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 3,847
Ok, my last post tonight.... Cuz I'm tired from a long work day.
Energized that my brain is once again engaged in problem solving but also very tired that my brain is engaged in problem solving!
Glad the Resilience book recommendation was well received. I'm already reaping benefits from practicing my homework and re-reading certain chapters.
Night Jannies....Hugs to all
Energized that my brain is once again engaged in problem solving but also very tired that my brain is engaged in problem solving!
Glad the Resilience book recommendation was well received. I'm already reaping benefits from practicing my homework and re-reading certain chapters.
Night Jannies....Hugs to all
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