Class of October 2014 Part 15
02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,802
That's great to hear. I hope you have a really good Father's Day.
On a lighter note, Arbor – every time I deal with anything related to trees, I think of you. We have this lovely little Santa Rosa plum tree that has just started dropping its fruit:
Plum time in our house is pretty intense. They fall like crazy for two weeks and liquefy almost immediately. Every day I’m dealing with them in one way or another. We eat the good ones fast and let the others soften until I can pull them apart and make freezer jam. I’ll probably take pics of that process for you guys to enjoy. It’s pretty fun actually, and the jam is ridiculously good with some brie and crackers. It also saved the day one Thanksgiving when someone forgot to bring the cranberry sauce (not me, truth). It was an excellent stand in.
At this point I’m just letting them fall naturally and picking them up off the ground. When we get a little further along, I’ll start shaking the branches to get the clingers, and at the very end I’ll send my tall husband up a ladder to get the real tenacious ones. Here’s what I’ve picked up from the driveway in the past two days:
Of course, since the tree hangs over the driveway, we get plenty of this:
The stains last for months. It’s okay, though. The jam is bomb. And my daughter thinks it’s Easter, so I have plenty of help picking them up.
On a lighter note, Arbor – every time I deal with anything related to trees, I think of you. We have this lovely little Santa Rosa plum tree that has just started dropping its fruit:
Plum time in our house is pretty intense. They fall like crazy for two weeks and liquefy almost immediately. Every day I’m dealing with them in one way or another. We eat the good ones fast and let the others soften until I can pull them apart and make freezer jam. I’ll probably take pics of that process for you guys to enjoy. It’s pretty fun actually, and the jam is ridiculously good with some brie and crackers. It also saved the day one Thanksgiving when someone forgot to bring the cranberry sauce (not me, truth). It was an excellent stand in.
At this point I’m just letting them fall naturally and picking them up off the ground. When we get a little further along, I’ll start shaking the branches to get the clingers, and at the very end I’ll send my tall husband up a ladder to get the real tenacious ones. Here’s what I’ve picked up from the driveway in the past two days:
Of course, since the tree hangs over the driveway, we get plenty of this:
The stains last for months. It’s okay, though. The jam is bomb. And my daughter thinks it’s Easter, so I have plenty of help picking them up.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 3,805
Boy what a treat Briar. That's a real benefit to living out there. I have clients that always try to grow the stone fruit varieties out here and it's always a struggle. Not the best environment for it. Would love to see your plum processes for sure.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 6,831
I really like plum jelly. Those look good Briar.
Been enjoying some pool time around here too Arbor. I hope y'all are having a nice time. I can't remember how to turn the chiller on for the pool, I forget every year. The water is over 90 now so I guess a bit of research would be prudent.
Do y'all have mimosa trees in your respective parts of the world? I noticed one on my run earlier in full bloom. It's the kind of tree I'm drawn to with its prolific sweet smelling blooms. Once they take root in your yard though they become a problem because they are great re-seeders and begin to push out the good things. They are also quite messy under their spreading canopy. I think I'd regret getting one.
Regret is a bitter pill. On occasion I'm forced to taste that when I look back at the years of not being 100% present for my children while I indulged my taste for alcohol. They aren't little anymore. I'll never know to what degree my distraction affected my ability to lead them as their father. I'll never completely get over that.
Those of you with young children have a gift. Things are shiny and fresh on your parenting path. I've not not been a bad dad, but there's the key question. Would I have been a better, more mindful dad if alcohol had not been my almost constant weekend distraction? For me and only me I know the answer is yes. Too late for that Mark. I hate regret.
Onward...
Been enjoying some pool time around here too Arbor. I hope y'all are having a nice time. I can't remember how to turn the chiller on for the pool, I forget every year. The water is over 90 now so I guess a bit of research would be prudent.
Do y'all have mimosa trees in your respective parts of the world? I noticed one on my run earlier in full bloom. It's the kind of tree I'm drawn to with its prolific sweet smelling blooms. Once they take root in your yard though they become a problem because they are great re-seeders and begin to push out the good things. They are also quite messy under their spreading canopy. I think I'd regret getting one.
Regret is a bitter pill. On occasion I'm forced to taste that when I look back at the years of not being 100% present for my children while I indulged my taste for alcohol. They aren't little anymore. I'll never know to what degree my distraction affected my ability to lead them as their father. I'll never completely get over that.
Those of you with young children have a gift. Things are shiny and fresh on your parenting path. I've not not been a bad dad, but there's the key question. Would I have been a better, more mindful dad if alcohol had not been my almost constant weekend distraction? For me and only me I know the answer is yes. Too late for that Mark. I hate regret.
Onward...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,697
(((Arbor))) Im glad you're here and happy to hear that you and your wife are on the same page. Your thoughts on freedom really felt familiar to me. When I slipped about a month ago, I was testing the boundaries that I set for myself in October, now feeling like "not drinking" was restricting my fun, limiting my freedom. A little reflection time the next day, looking back at the 7 months of sobriety I had in my back pocket, helped me to remember that I'm truly free when I'm sober. I can go anywhere, do practically anything, and say whatever without the physical and emotional burdens that accompany most of my experiences with booze.
Will I be abstain forever? I don't know. But today, I will because I'm truly free and much happier when I do. (Plus, like Mark said, regret is just a bear that I don't want to wrestle.) Keep at it friend! You're doing great!
I love the plum splat pic, Briar! Meyer lemons in winter and plums in spring. How totally awesome
Will I be abstain forever? I don't know. But today, I will because I'm truly free and much happier when I do. (Plus, like Mark said, regret is just a bear that I don't want to wrestle.) Keep at it friend! You're doing great!
I love the plum splat pic, Briar! Meyer lemons in winter and plums in spring. How totally awesome
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
But I've known for a while that I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a heavy problematic drinker.
Heavy problematic drinkers can destroy their lives and that of their loved ones too, and they can die as well - I had a few close shaves.
I'm really glad you're back on the right road today arbor
D
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,509
I wanted the freedom to drink for a long time. I resented the fact that anything or anyone could tell me I couldn't. So I embraced that freedom until I finally realised that I had become a slave. The Chardonnay was my master. Life was just fine as long as I could have a wine when I came home at night. But of course my tolerance built up, and a few glasses was no longer enough. It became a bottle a night. And then it became a bottle and a half.
I remember how horrified I was the morning I woke up to find I had drunk two whole bottles. I remember the horrible hangover, and the pain in my kidneys. I was pretty scared. I swore I would never do it again. But I did.
How did this happen? Where was the freedom I had been searching for?
Well, for me it was an illusion. I had been fooling myself. And even though I knew this with my whole heart, I still couldn't stop. Until I got here. I realised pretty quickly that my story was here on these pages over and over again. I began to believe there was a way out of the mess I had made. I really could stop, and finally I did.
Regret....I still wake up every morning in a swirl of how could I have done this...look how much work I have to do in order to make a decent life for myself. It's hard. I forge ahead, but I so wish I hadn't carved out such a difficult path for myself.
Yes, this is just me. My story. I just don't wish this kind of pain on anyone else, and all of you mean a great deal to me.
I am beginning to find the kind of freedom Conquest spoke of, and that is an enormous blessing for me. I am not going back.
Love and good morning to everyone. ♥
I remember how horrified I was the morning I woke up to find I had drunk two whole bottles. I remember the horrible hangover, and the pain in my kidneys. I was pretty scared. I swore I would never do it again. But I did.
How did this happen? Where was the freedom I had been searching for?
Well, for me it was an illusion. I had been fooling myself. And even though I knew this with my whole heart, I still couldn't stop. Until I got here. I realised pretty quickly that my story was here on these pages over and over again. I began to believe there was a way out of the mess I had made. I really could stop, and finally I did.
Regret....I still wake up every morning in a swirl of how could I have done this...look how much work I have to do in order to make a decent life for myself. It's hard. I forge ahead, but I so wish I hadn't carved out such a difficult path for myself.
Yes, this is just me. My story. I just don't wish this kind of pain on anyone else, and all of you mean a great deal to me.
I am beginning to find the kind of freedom Conquest spoke of, and that is an enormous blessing for me. I am not going back.
Love and good morning to everyone. ♥
02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,802
It's so true. I regret all the evenings I spent plastered when I could have been writing, enjoying the places we traveled to, pursuing more education, furthering my career, learning to do any of the many things I could have done. Instead I sat around watching tv with one eye closed. And I thought I was free to do whatever I wanted. What could I have been if I had real freedom?
I hoped that having a kid would straighten me out, give me something to clean up for. I thought I wouldn't need to drink so much if I had a purpose. I was wrong, now I wonder what I've already missed with her.
But, I mean, everyone is restricted by something, whether it's money, health, location. We all have to accept the hand we're dealt. I accept that I'm an alcoholic and drinking will kill me, but I don't always accept the restrictions that come with that deal. Sometimes I feel like I'm willing to die to protect my free will.
Real freedom for me is being able to make choices about what I'm actually going to do with my life, not just what I'm going to drink tonight.
I hoped that having a kid would straighten me out, give me something to clean up for. I thought I wouldn't need to drink so much if I had a purpose. I was wrong, now I wonder what I've already missed with her.
But, I mean, everyone is restricted by something, whether it's money, health, location. We all have to accept the hand we're dealt. I accept that I'm an alcoholic and drinking will kill me, but I don't always accept the restrictions that come with that deal. Sometimes I feel like I'm willing to die to protect my free will.
Real freedom for me is being able to make choices about what I'm actually going to do with my life, not just what I'm going to drink tonight.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,509
Originally Posted by Briar 
Real freedom for me is being able to make choices about what I'm actually going to do with my life, not just what I'm going to drink tonight.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Wow, a lot of deep discussion here today.
Arbor, having been the wife in the 9 month sobriety adventure, I can understand the feeling when it ends. I very much remember my first 2 glasses of wine after having my first baby. Sooner than I thought I would, since I was breast feeding. But, glad to read you and your wife are looking towards sober living after few days of relaxing and trying to have a normal, celebratory drink.
I would characterize my drinking as heavy, problematic, bad habit, but, it still left me hungover many times, left me obese at one time and with less than great health. So, while not drinking all day, or always everyday, it was limiting me in many ways. I admit I struggle with forever. We all know that about me. I do continue making progress on the journey, though.
Been a busy couple of days. Last night, driving my daughter to and from a friend's and attending a grad party across the street. It was nice. Having to drive was a good thing. V, I made chocolate chunk and white chip with dried cranberry cookies. I make good cookies, if I do say so myself. I am known for them by family, friends and teachers.
We visited a dog shelter today. Son was nervous. He cried when a very nice but playful dog grazed his knuckle with teeth. It was playful, but the young dog still needs manners. Not a bad dog, he was really lovely, but son was clearly isolating, and the dog wanted his attention or to play. So, this will need to be to careful process so son can feel comfy with a dog if we do get one.
Watching a movie together now. Fantastic Four. Seen it before, but we like all the superhero movies.
Mark, cooling a pool seems so funny to me! But of course, they must get hot in the south! Here, they stay pretty chilly without heaters, even in summer.
V, so glad you feel better today.
Conquest, glad you are healing and got a nice run in. I dream about running! It has never felt good on my flat feet and fussy knees. I do love swimming. But the pool membership here is so outrageously priced.
Kids still in school for 4 more days, but then we got a week on Cape Cod through our time share. We go one week from today. It is relaxing there. Will be nice.
Arbor, having been the wife in the 9 month sobriety adventure, I can understand the feeling when it ends. I very much remember my first 2 glasses of wine after having my first baby. Sooner than I thought I would, since I was breast feeding. But, glad to read you and your wife are looking towards sober living after few days of relaxing and trying to have a normal, celebratory drink.
I would characterize my drinking as heavy, problematic, bad habit, but, it still left me hungover many times, left me obese at one time and with less than great health. So, while not drinking all day, or always everyday, it was limiting me in many ways. I admit I struggle with forever. We all know that about me. I do continue making progress on the journey, though.
Been a busy couple of days. Last night, driving my daughter to and from a friend's and attending a grad party across the street. It was nice. Having to drive was a good thing. V, I made chocolate chunk and white chip with dried cranberry cookies. I make good cookies, if I do say so myself. I am known for them by family, friends and teachers.
We visited a dog shelter today. Son was nervous. He cried when a very nice but playful dog grazed his knuckle with teeth. It was playful, but the young dog still needs manners. Not a bad dog, he was really lovely, but son was clearly isolating, and the dog wanted his attention or to play. So, this will need to be to careful process so son can feel comfy with a dog if we do get one.
Watching a movie together now. Fantastic Four. Seen it before, but we like all the superhero movies.
Mark, cooling a pool seems so funny to me! But of course, they must get hot in the south! Here, they stay pretty chilly without heaters, even in summer.
V, so glad you feel better today.
Conquest, glad you are healing and got a nice run in. I dream about running! It has never felt good on my flat feet and fussy knees. I do love swimming. But the pool membership here is so outrageously priced.
Kids still in school for 4 more days, but then we got a week on Cape Cod through our time share. We go one week from today. It is relaxing there. Will be nice.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,509
Oh phoebe, now I really really want some of those cookies. Yum.
I'm sorry that dog grazed your son's knuckles and frightened him. That's not good for anyone, especially the dog. They may re-asses him.
I know that you are looking forward to your vacation. I hope it's a wonderful relaxing time for all of you. With lots of swimming ~ that you don't have to pay for! 
I'm sorry that dog grazed your son's knuckles and frightened him. That's not good for anyone, especially the dog. They may re-asses him.
I know that you are looking forward to your vacation. I hope it's a wonderful relaxing time for all of you. With lots of swimming ~ that you don't have to pay for!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 3,805
Oh I'm well aware of the freedom all. I've accomplished so much in nine months. Really. That's honestly the best part about sobriety. All bets are off the minute I pick up that glass. Thanks for all your support. I have to remind myself that I have come along way. A couple slips isn't going to stop me from the life I've always dreamed of.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Out for the day so time for a new thread
Join us here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-16-a.html
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