Midwest1981

It is a wonderful feeling when you wake up and the first thoughts are "what did I do last night?" Then the next thought is "nothing silly you are sober" lol

Midwest1981

I did do the dishes. enjoy your lazy day. You deserve it.

brynn

Good morning all you early birds!

I have to agree...waking up sober with no regrets is the best! That's one of the first things I latched onto when I joined this site. I read post after post of people waking up with no anxiety or panic or regret and I was hooked!! Yay!

Hope everyone has a great day!

Hugs to everyone, especially those who haven't posted in a while! We haven't forgotten you! ❤️

Copper442

Morning all.

This is going to be my last downer post as I am annoyed with myself so I can only assume this is aggravating to the rest of you. I'm just having a rough go of things. I'm dealing with a severe episode of depression. Feeling isolated, excluded, unwanted, unloved, detached, etc. That is just barely scratching the surface. I'm in a dark place and I'm a bit frightened by my own mind. I'm sure it is all situational so I'm doing my best to push through but I have not even an ounce of hope or positivity left in me at this point.

Earlier this week I sabotaged myself and my new living arrangement so I'm back in the same hellish nightmare I was before. Outpatient is on hold due to the weather and I'm not sure I even want to take that route at the moment. I'm having some new issues with one of my ankles which is also taking a toll on my mood. Constant pain is hard to deal with but I refuse to take anything stronger than some tylenol because I'm so over jeopardizing my sobriety.

I'll probably take a few days away from here just to give everyone a break. I'm too all over the place. Once minute I'm disgustingly positive, the next, well you all get it. All of you are learning how to live and here I am complaining over the consequences of slowly trying to die from alcohol and drugs. I care about all of you more than I thought was even possible but I'm not sure where, or even how I fit in here anymore.

I'm sorry for droning on (again) and bringing the group mood down. I hope you all have a lovely weekend.

BBQBiker

Yes. We are thinking of you.

MariahGayle

MLD.....I thought Monday was 80 days for us? Any Who, another sober, Saturday morning. I've had periods of my drinking where I did the bar thing. In my younger years I was a bartender, so have always been comfortable to stroll into a bar myself. This last couple of years of my drinking, I started going to this little bar right down the street from me, met a Man (this was after a 12 year stretch of not dating & not stepping foot into a bar) & fell hard for him (why wouldn't I....an alcoholic with bullet holes & stab wounds), it was at this time that my drinking was really progressing, & this man & my "best friend" didn't really know what to do about me, so they decided to (well, you get the pic) anyway, needless to say, that only fueled my reason to drink & I would go into that bar & quietly make an ass out of myself. I'm happy to say, I haven't stepped foot in there in quite a while.....I did see someone who hangs out there the other day & she did not recognize me & when I went up to give her a hug, she said "Wow, I don't have to ask how your doing." Made my Day.

Have a good day Peeps

Midwest1981

Copper,

We love you no matter what. I enjoy reading your posts no matter what mood you are in. I wouldn't want you to be anything but who you are. I am sorry about your ankle and whatever happened earlier in the week. Don't beat yourself up over it. Today is a new day.

I am sorry outpatient got delayed because of the weather. I hope you try it. I think you would meet a lot of nice people.

Don't stop posting on the account you think we need a break from you if anything we need you and each other.

MariahGayle

((Copper)) you fit right in here in the middle where we can keep an eye on you It's a tough road & not one to be traveled alone. You're here, your wanting sobriety, that's a good thing. You are NOT alone in this. We loves you here!

Midwest1981

that's awesome!

brynn

((Copper))...you fit in here just like everybody else! That is just pure nonsense you're talking!! Nows the time you really need to keep talking and be a part of something! Now...I know we aren't much...but we love you and care about you! That's gotta count for something!! . You're going to feel a billion times worse if you let yourself isolate!

I strongly suggest you give outpatient a fair chance! Don't dismiss it before you've even tried it! If you want change, you have to be willing to make a change! Right?!?! ❤️

brynn

Oh Mariah! I love that! So so proud of you! Yay!!

Della1968

Cooper we love you happy or sad, sober our not, in good times and bad. He'll we just plain love you.

BBQBiker

Copper, please know that what you are saying sometimes is what we are feeling. You are able to say it. Sometimes I can't. Please continue here and saying what you say and helping us all to put into words what we all feel to one degree or another.
I'm lazy - sometimes if you say something then I do not have to - I can just nod.
Please continue.
So sorry about your ankle. Constant pain is so debilitating. (((Copper)))

BBQBiker

Mariah, that is awesome. I love when people look at us and acknowledge that we are looking good. What a great reward.

MLD51

Mariah - today is day 80 for us! I have a sobriety counter/Big Book app on my iPad, so I don't have to keep track - app does it for me.

Copper - we all have dark days. That's called being human. Sounds like you really are having a rough time but please please know that in no way are we tired of you. We are all here to help and support each other, no matter what. You DO deserve our friendship and support. We got your back.

Midwest1981

Copper- I agree with BBQBIker. You are expressing what some of us can't. That is a real gift. It is better out then in.

Tonks

I think that about says it.

Love you Copper. Please be safe.

Jsbodhi

Hi Copper!

No one wants you to go or thinks you're bringing the mood down, we all need each other, I was going to take a break too, but I think its better to stay with the group, its too isolating otherwise, I have other people in my life, but only the people here really know what we're going through.
Xxxx

castdown

Reading this as I enjoy a maple vindaloo chicken pita. Frozen pizza sorta makes me cringe. I can appreciate the quick and easy part as I often don't have time to cook but I have yet to find any frozen pizza I like. I do have a thousand guilty pleasures (none of which are chicken minuets at least) that are probably cringe worthy so this is not a judgement. Frozen pizza just inspired this post. Lately been indulging in far too much chocolate. Don't judge me... Also burning an average of 4k calories a day. Hmm should go get some chocolate.

castdown

Hardly my friend... No need for apologies. we share our struggles. In doing so I believe we find solace and direction towards the path we wish to take.