Class of December 2014 Part 10
I took my daughter today to a reservoir. One trout. Warm California t shirt weather. There was a BBQ area, and I passed people drinking beer and grilling. Momentary, fleeting twinge of missing that, but it passed quickly. I like not being trapped inside a bottle anymore.
I'm pretty jaded, myself. If it weren't for being in love with my best friend, I'd be fine with not having a relationship anytime soon. I've been in love with him since the first day I met him. It's been a rocky road, but the love is still there. I tried dating a couple of other people in the last few years when I'd get frustrated that he wasn't committing to being my boyfriend, but those relationships crashed and burned for various reasons, not the least of which was that I couldn't get him out of my system. No idea if he and I will ever be anything other than friends, but I'm not ready to give up just yet. Plus the bar is set pretty high for other guys now. And really, the most important thing is for me to work on myself and my underlying issues so that if I ever do have another partner I don't screw it up like I always have before. Plus boys are icky.
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