Class of August 2014 Part 16
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 522
Your back, Cleareyes-that's what matters. Well done!
Feeling good can be just as tough to manage as feeling bad. I think we figure out how to handle the rough stuff right away-because our lives and relationships are in a bad state when we first get sober. Feeling great is a huge trigger for me as well. For me, it's more of an urge to get back to equilibrium- I used alcohol to fix feeling too bad, but feeling too good was also uncomfortable and I have to work on coping with that as well.
I was just thinking about the summer and the urge surfing I'm planning on doing. I think it's Jack Trimpey who asserts that wanting to drink is a sign of good health. Although it comes up less and less, there will be a strong urge here and there. If we could have cut back or drank occasionally, we wouldn't be here.
Glad the knee is feeling better, doingsomething! I've been off exercise for a month, and I'll be happy to return as well! Really, really mood affecting.
I think you are doing great, Scooter! You are doing whatever it takes, and your are dealing with reality very, very well!
I caught up on some housework and errands so that we are ready for the week, then went to a bar to meet some friends. I thought it would be a restaurant, but it was a peanut shell covered dive. Had a Virgin Mary, some surprisingly good coffee, and soda with a twist. I love how bartenders understand that you are reaching for something non alcoholic to drink for the duration! I also love how normal drinkers don't care that I'm not drinking.
Had a great movie night with the family, and attended a family style Italian lunch today, so I've consumed all of my carbs for the week in one sitting! I still have one intense family gaming session (if I can't beat em'...) and some sewing to do before the weekend is over.
Still committed to a sober and fulfilling life of integrity and contentment! Even if I'm halfway up a mini mole hill at the moment.
Grateful for:
lemons
a pretty sweet gaming rig for a middle aged soccer mom
peanut M&Ms
Virgin Mary's
having my family together at one table
RFP!!!
Feeling good can be just as tough to manage as feeling bad. I think we figure out how to handle the rough stuff right away-because our lives and relationships are in a bad state when we first get sober. Feeling great is a huge trigger for me as well. For me, it's more of an urge to get back to equilibrium- I used alcohol to fix feeling too bad, but feeling too good was also uncomfortable and I have to work on coping with that as well.
I was just thinking about the summer and the urge surfing I'm planning on doing. I think it's Jack Trimpey who asserts that wanting to drink is a sign of good health. Although it comes up less and less, there will be a strong urge here and there. If we could have cut back or drank occasionally, we wouldn't be here.
Glad the knee is feeling better, doingsomething! I've been off exercise for a month, and I'll be happy to return as well! Really, really mood affecting.
I think you are doing great, Scooter! You are doing whatever it takes, and your are dealing with reality very, very well!
I caught up on some housework and errands so that we are ready for the week, then went to a bar to meet some friends. I thought it would be a restaurant, but it was a peanut shell covered dive. Had a Virgin Mary, some surprisingly good coffee, and soda with a twist. I love how bartenders understand that you are reaching for something non alcoholic to drink for the duration! I also love how normal drinkers don't care that I'm not drinking.
Had a great movie night with the family, and attended a family style Italian lunch today, so I've consumed all of my carbs for the week in one sitting! I still have one intense family gaming session (if I can't beat em'...) and some sewing to do before the weekend is over.
Still committed to a sober and fulfilling life of integrity and contentment! Even if I'm halfway up a mini mole hill at the moment.
Grateful for:
lemons
a pretty sweet gaming rig for a middle aged soccer mom
peanut M&Ms
Virgin Mary's
having my family together at one table
RFP!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Thanks for your honesty ClearEyes so glad your back on track, I've never managed 6months but can relate to the self sabotage aspect of your post.
I have felt like a failure at recovery in the past but I feel Ive learnt from past mistakes and come back stronger in my resolve to stay sober one day at a time. Pushed it to the absolute limit and put my brain and body through some serious self abuse which I wish I had avoided. Finally, finally realise that alcohol does not enhance my life, mood or character one little bit in fact it erodes them all among other things....
So glad to be sober, its a miracle for me as an alcoholic to truthfully say that I haven't thought, needed or wanted alcohol today.
My girls loved the cinema and I enjoyed it too, Im truly blessed to have them in my life. When I was in the midst of booze I only lived to have the next drink, life past me by and its so good to be the real me again and I want to grow more and I will do that if I don't drink, Im actually excited by that!
Love and best wishes A-team.
I have felt like a failure at recovery in the past but I feel Ive learnt from past mistakes and come back stronger in my resolve to stay sober one day at a time. Pushed it to the absolute limit and put my brain and body through some serious self abuse which I wish I had avoided. Finally, finally realise that alcohol does not enhance my life, mood or character one little bit in fact it erodes them all among other things....
So glad to be sober, its a miracle for me as an alcoholic to truthfully say that I haven't thought, needed or wanted alcohol today.
My girls loved the cinema and I enjoyed it too, Im truly blessed to have them in my life. When I was in the midst of booze I only lived to have the next drink, life past me by and its so good to be the real me again and I want to grow more and I will do that if I don't drink, Im actually excited by that!
Love and best wishes A-team.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,629
Welcome back cleareyes 
I really can't overemphasise how important it is to reach out. It may be the last thing on Earth you want to do, but it's really the only thing to do if we want change.
D
I really can't overemphasise how important it is to reach out. It may be the last thing on Earth you want to do, but it's really the only thing to do if we want change.
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
ClearEyes, happy to have you back; please keep reading and posting. It really helps.
1Step, you sound great!
Thanks to all for your encouragement, prayers, thoughts and support.
I have had a good day. After the Y this morning Bob and I went for a ride to Newport, RI, by the beaches and mansions and stopped for a late lunch - - he had two drinks while I had seltzer water and lemon. No phone calls today - - that could mean things are on the upswing or it could mean that my brother has finally taken my advice and called other family members. Whatever, it is a bit after 6:00pm, I am turning off both phones shortly and reading the Sunday papers, walking Scooter and getting into bed.
I feel guilty doing it, but it is the only way I can relax and get the sleep I need. The daily pill seems to have worked for the first time today, and I am not planning to take the heavy duty one at all.
BUG HUGS to one and all. We must keep on keeping on.
1Step, you sound great!
Thanks to all for your encouragement, prayers, thoughts and support.
I have had a good day. After the Y this morning Bob and I went for a ride to Newport, RI, by the beaches and mansions and stopped for a late lunch - - he had two drinks while I had seltzer water and lemon. No phone calls today - - that could mean things are on the upswing or it could mean that my brother has finally taken my advice and called other family members. Whatever, it is a bit after 6:00pm, I am turning off both phones shortly and reading the Sunday papers, walking Scooter and getting into bed.
I feel guilty doing it, but it is the only way I can relax and get the sleep I need. The daily pill seems to have worked for the first time today, and I am not planning to take the heavy duty one at all.
BUG HUGS to one and all. We must keep on keeping on.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,347
Clear, thanks for sharing that. Makes sense now why I find spring like weather outside and the AV went nuts! Warm air wakes that little bastard up! Note to self...
Pink, choobie and one step, great posts! You just made me feel really good before calling it a night. Great to see how we are in this together.
Just did some work and sent my boss a few presentation slides. On a Sunday night!! You guys get why that is just too cool.
Dreams.
Pink, choobie and one step, great posts! You just made me feel really good before calling it a night. Great to see how we are in this together.
Just did some work and sent my boss a few presentation slides. On a Sunday night!! You guys get why that is just too cool.
Dreams.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
Good morning,
I am going to the Y, then to the library to read the shelves. I guess my meds is not up to 24 hours yet; I woke depressed and in a bit of a panic because I have not heard from my brother since Friday. I am praying that means he has found someone else to talk to or things are a bit better. This is really taking a toll on me.
I am going to put one foot in front of the other and try to have a normal day and try to keep busy.
Thanks again for all the kind thoughts, prayers and pm's. I cannot imagine what state I would be in without my August team.
I am going to the Y, then to the library to read the shelves. I guess my meds is not up to 24 hours yet; I woke depressed and in a bit of a panic because I have not heard from my brother since Friday. I am praying that means he has found someone else to talk to or things are a bit better. This is really taking a toll on me.
I am going to put one foot in front of the other and try to have a normal day and try to keep busy.
Thanks again for all the kind thoughts, prayers and pm's. I cannot imagine what state I would be in without my August team.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
So I've morphed from counting days, to months, to not counting.
As I near my next 'month' I've been thinking about this more and more. Since I don't drink, and won't drink (I write this with humility) tossing a quarter in a mason jar to track my progress doesn't hold the value I initially thought it would.
And, it makes me feel like I'm still in a competition that I've already won (again, I write this with humility) rather than reminding me of how far I've come.
To be clear, I think there is phenomenal value in celebrating and recognizing ones accomplishments and genuinely get excited for teammates who reach goals. In fact, I make it a policy to try to "thank" every message in the Newcomers section that references a amount of time that is important to the poster ("Made it to Day 6!").
I've had a pretty non traditional journey and approach to this thing and I guess this is just another example!
Let's have a strong week Team!
As I near my next 'month' I've been thinking about this more and more. Since I don't drink, and won't drink (I write this with humility) tossing a quarter in a mason jar to track my progress doesn't hold the value I initially thought it would.
And, it makes me feel like I'm still in a competition that I've already won (again, I write this with humility) rather than reminding me of how far I've come.
To be clear, I think there is phenomenal value in celebrating and recognizing ones accomplishments and genuinely get excited for teammates who reach goals. In fact, I make it a policy to try to "thank" every message in the Newcomers section that references a amount of time that is important to the poster ("Made it to Day 6!").
I've had a pretty non traditional journey and approach to this thing and I guess this is just another example!
Let's have a strong week Team!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: London, Uk
Posts: 1,694
Hey all
Late checking in today, I didn't charge up my battery.
Hope everyone is good.
Cleareyes I am glad you posted. Stick with it.
1step - you sound really good mate.
Pink - eye is great, I think a little cheaper than the shard. Only thing is on the eye you cannot tell them to stop, ha ha. Whereas at the shard more time to spot things and more time for photos. I haven't done the shard. I think both would be superb if the weather holds for a clear sky. I haven't helped there not suggesting one or the other. Ha ha, sorry.
Hope everyone has had / is having a great Monday. I am off out for dinner tonight. Monday discount special for a HUGE steak.
I did some running today and pushed myself to 50 mins non stop. Wow! Very happy with that. Super slow pace but I have plenty of time to get faster. Key is to aviod any injury.
Late checking in today, I didn't charge up my battery.
Hope everyone is good.
Cleareyes I am glad you posted. Stick with it.
1step - you sound really good mate.
Pink - eye is great, I think a little cheaper than the shard. Only thing is on the eye you cannot tell them to stop, ha ha. Whereas at the shard more time to spot things and more time for photos. I haven't done the shard. I think both would be superb if the weather holds for a clear sky. I haven't helped there not suggesting one or the other. Ha ha, sorry.
Hope everyone has had / is having a great Monday. I am off out for dinner tonight. Monday discount special for a HUGE steak.
I did some running today and pushed myself to 50 mins non stop. Wow! Very happy with that. Super slow pace but I have plenty of time to get faster. Key is to aviod any injury.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
Choobie another lovely grateful list, they make me cheerful each day, thank you!
London, think I'm going with the shard, trying to get a 5.30 slot so we catch sunset and see the lights of London starting up, the advice all Helps! Thank you. 50 mins running is not in my time frame, that is freaking awesome! Well done, that's a fab achievement in such Little time! You super fit man!
Determined another lovely quote. Sober Mondays never cease to amaze me! Bring it Indeed!
Scooter you are doing so well taking each day another another time, I'm proud of your resolve! Keep going!
1 step, glad you're doing ok my friend, nearly 1 month for you!
Ultra after your oust I realised I have forgotten my days and had to get another calendar to count them. I think that's progress! You are doing a fabulously good job, and inspire me. I have chosen my tattoo, it's is a watercolour flying phoenix, symbolising strength, rising above it all. I will be having this on my shoulder when the time is right. Yours sounds just perfect.
Clear eyes, how you doing my sweet? Thinking of you xxx
Cute you about?
Doing something, how you doing? Still all good?
Blackbird?
Chris?
Hobbers?
MV?
Dry?
Ee?
Rahh?
Brach?
Tx?
Max?
Apple?
Ph7?
Grateful?
Thinking of you all xxxxx
Manic Monday here. Work done, gym done, dinner done, now to study. Rinse and repeat. Looking forward to my 3 day weekend in london baby! We need THIS! Have a jam packed itinerary to look forward to, so very happy to be doing this with such a special man. I'm a lucky girl.
Hope you are all well my lovelies, you are all so wonderful and important, thank you for your endless support xxx
Much love
Xxx
London, think I'm going with the shard, trying to get a 5.30 slot so we catch sunset and see the lights of London starting up, the advice all Helps! Thank you. 50 mins running is not in my time frame, that is freaking awesome! Well done, that's a fab achievement in such Little time! You super fit man!
Determined another lovely quote. Sober Mondays never cease to amaze me! Bring it Indeed!
Scooter you are doing so well taking each day another another time, I'm proud of your resolve! Keep going!
1 step, glad you're doing ok my friend, nearly 1 month for you!
Ultra after your oust I realised I have forgotten my days and had to get another calendar to count them. I think that's progress! You are doing a fabulously good job, and inspire me. I have chosen my tattoo, it's is a watercolour flying phoenix, symbolising strength, rising above it all. I will be having this on my shoulder when the time is right. Yours sounds just perfect.
Clear eyes, how you doing my sweet? Thinking of you xxx
Cute you about?
Doing something, how you doing? Still all good?
Blackbird?
Chris?
Hobbers?
MV?
Dry?
Ee?
Rahh?
Brach?
Tx?
Max?
Apple?
Ph7?
Grateful?
Thinking of you all xxxxx
Manic Monday here. Work done, gym done, dinner done, now to study. Rinse and repeat. Looking forward to my 3 day weekend in london baby! We need THIS! Have a jam packed itinerary to look forward to, so very happy to be doing this with such a special man. I'm a lucky girl.
Hope you are all well my lovelies, you are all so wonderful and important, thank you for your endless support xxx
Much love
Xxx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
Great run London!
It's totally not about speed for me. Worrying about my speed lessens my enjoyment. I'm lucky that the Ultra I'm doing has a 10 hour time limit. The average runner completes a 50k in 6 1/2 hours. I'll probably be around 8.
Pink- The Pheonix! Powerful.
It's totally not about speed for me. Worrying about my speed lessens my enjoyment. I'm lucky that the Ultra I'm doing has a 10 hour time limit. The average runner completes a 50k in 6 1/2 hours. I'll probably be around 8.
Pink- The Pheonix! Powerful.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 125
Originally Posted by ScooterBoo 
Pink, every word you said is true, and I appreciate them. I lost my temper, SCREAMING at him at phone call # 8 or 9 today. I told him I cannot take it; it is making me sick. I don't think he realized I was serious, but on the next phone call he said that he talked to her quietly and they are going for the divorce instead of the counseling. Then he started sobbing about how he doesn't want to leave the three kids. And, I told him, if he is in a mental hospital he won't be seeing those kids. I also told him that I think the kids will be better off having quality time with each parent rather than living in a house with that much tension.
Of course, tomorrow it will probably be back to counseling, or she wants the house, or she wants him to leave, or she doesn't want him to sell the house, or some other *&^%
I am not answering the phones again tonight or tomorrow morning if it is him. He needs to find someone else to talk to. This frustrating horror show has been going on since around Halloween. I am still very worried about him, but now I am also worried about me. I am constantly on edge, constantly rethinking every phone call in my head, jumping when the phone rings, etc. I was in bed with the phones off last night, and a phone rang on a tv show, and I jumped!
I am leaving my phones on in case someone else phones, but I am not answering if it is him. I just don't have anything left in me.
Here's hoping the meds kick in soon.
Thanks for caring.
Of course, tomorrow it will probably be back to counseling, or she wants the house, or she wants him to leave, or she doesn't want him to sell the house, or some other *&^%
I am not answering the phones again tonight or tomorrow morning if it is him. He needs to find someone else to talk to. This frustrating horror show has been going on since around Halloween. I am still very worried about him, but now I am also worried about me. I am constantly on edge, constantly rethinking every phone call in my head, jumping when the phone rings, etc. I was in bed with the phones off last night, and a phone rang on a tv show, and I jumped!
I am leaving my phones on in case someone else phones, but I am not answering if it is him. I just don't have anything left in me.
Here's hoping the meds kick in soon.
Thanks for caring.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 125
Originally Posted by determined99
Sun shinin super sonic sexy sober Saturday!
London, loved your greeting today dude!!
Yesterday I gave myself a test. I made a conscious effort to notice when others or situations were about to take my mood down. Before I allowed that to happen on auto pilot, I paused, went back to mental center and floated above it. A very tough day at work with overreacting people did not get to me. I didn't ignore issues, just calmly reacted and let other people enjoy their bad moods if they so chose. It wasn't easy, but I see now it can be done with practice.
So, today, practice holding on to your own mood of your choosing. Darn near all our bad days result from our interactions with other people. Reliving we have control of this too is enlightening. Another arrow in our quiver.
"The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one though over another." William James.
Just for fun,
"I'm the new Johnny Bravo!" Greg Brady.
Lesson, if you think you are the new Johnny Bravo, then you will be.
Just made myself laugh out loud.
Life has waves, learn to surf.
Laughing to win.
Jump.
London, loved your greeting today dude!!
Yesterday I gave myself a test. I made a conscious effort to notice when others or situations were about to take my mood down. Before I allowed that to happen on auto pilot, I paused, went back to mental center and floated above it. A very tough day at work with overreacting people did not get to me. I didn't ignore issues, just calmly reacted and let other people enjoy their bad moods if they so chose. It wasn't easy, but I see now it can be done with practice.
So, today, practice holding on to your own mood of your choosing. Darn near all our bad days result from our interactions with other people. Reliving we have control of this too is enlightening. Another arrow in our quiver.
"The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one though over another." William James.
Just for fun,
"I'm the new Johnny Bravo!" Greg Brady.
Lesson, if you think you are the new Johnny Bravo, then you will be.
Just made myself laugh out loud.
Life has waves, learn to surf.
Laughing to win.
Jump.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 125
Originally Posted by ClearEyes24
good morning all- apologies upfront for the bummer post…. I am sorry to say that I had a couple of slips in the past week. I could feel it coming and fought it for about 10 days or so before succumbing. I will spare you all of the ugly details but it, quite predictably, did not end well. I am not going to beat myself up over this however, this is a marathon and I am choosing to get back on the right path with you all.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 130
Late check in. Long day at the salt mines (actually working rail cars). Doing very well. Glad to be back in action (and back to work). Knee's not 100% by any means but it feels good to work it out. Also I needed to get out of the house and focus on non-domestic things. All good.
Closed on the house today so it's officially off my books and the money should be in the bank tomorrow. Woo hoo! Time for Act 2.
Ultra I feel ya man. Counting months ain't that interesting any more. I'm sure I'll still take mental note when the anniversaries roll around and a year will still feel like a big deal. But yeah, we're pretty much just (humbly) doing this now. Not that it's not a struggle (it is) from time to time. But I'm hoping the struggles become fewer and farther between. I believe they will.
Closed on the house today so it's officially off my books and the money should be in the bank tomorrow. Woo hoo! Time for Act 2.
Ultra I feel ya man. Counting months ain't that interesting any more. I'm sure I'll still take mental note when the anniversaries roll around and a year will still feel like a big deal. But yeah, we're pretty much just (humbly) doing this now. Not that it's not a struggle (it is) from time to time. But I'm hoping the struggles become fewer and farther between. I believe they will.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
doing something your job sounds so interesting. glad you are settling into your new place!!
im on a training day today. im the infection control link for my area so am attending for an updste. I find this area really interesting so should be a good day.
a day closer to our weekend away, im getting more hyper by the day! it will be his birthday, and my 6 months celebration both on Saturday, what are the chances? 100 days was on my birthday, and my 6 months is on his! double celebration!!!!!!!!!
have arranged a jam packed itinery for the weekend.
friday
arrive in London at 11
few hours at the british museum and a light lunch
check in at hotel in canary wharf at 3
shard at 5.50
dinner at strada at 7.30
relax
Saturday his birthday, my 6 months
shloer and cake for breakfast!!
9am tower of London and light lunch
1pm apothecary museum
3pm thames barrier
5pm emirate cable car
6pm early dinner
7.30pm boat show comedy club
Sunday
potter about canary wharf
steak lunch at a jazz bar
hamleys for lego shopping
Selfridges for cake shopping
covent garden just because it was our first date, sitting on the steps drinking slush puppies getting to know one another. how innocent that sounds!!
train home at 8pm
hope you are all well and coping well. each day is a win, a prize, another opportunity to live the good life. take it by the balls and bloody well enjoy it, you did it yourself, by choice, with strength. how cool is that? you chose it! I chose it!
we were in a restaurant chatting the other night, with friends who know, and jo commented, god you save a fortune now you cant drink. my reply? I can, I choose not too. it sounds pedantic, but I needed to say it. it empowers me. I can but I don't. I can buy it any day. I can but I don't. I am in control of that choice today. I pray I am tomorrow.
lets do this folks!!!!!!!!
TOTALLY AWESOME TUESDAY!!!!
im on a training day today. im the infection control link for my area so am attending for an updste. I find this area really interesting so should be a good day.
a day closer to our weekend away, im getting more hyper by the day! it will be his birthday, and my 6 months celebration both on Saturday, what are the chances? 100 days was on my birthday, and my 6 months is on his! double celebration!!!!!!!!!
have arranged a jam packed itinery for the weekend.
friday
arrive in London at 11
few hours at the british museum and a light lunch
check in at hotel in canary wharf at 3
shard at 5.50
dinner at strada at 7.30
relax
Saturday his birthday, my 6 months
shloer and cake for breakfast!!
9am tower of London and light lunch
1pm apothecary museum
3pm thames barrier
5pm emirate cable car
6pm early dinner
7.30pm boat show comedy club
Sunday
potter about canary wharf
steak lunch at a jazz bar
hamleys for lego shopping
Selfridges for cake shopping
covent garden just because it was our first date, sitting on the steps drinking slush puppies getting to know one another. how innocent that sounds!!
train home at 8pm
hope you are all well and coping well. each day is a win, a prize, another opportunity to live the good life. take it by the balls and bloody well enjoy it, you did it yourself, by choice, with strength. how cool is that? you chose it! I chose it!
we were in a restaurant chatting the other night, with friends who know, and jo commented, god you save a fortune now you cant drink. my reply? I can, I choose not too. it sounds pedantic, but I needed to say it. it empowers me. I can but I don't. I can buy it any day. I can but I don't. I am in control of that choice today. I pray I am tomorrow.
lets do this folks!!!!!!!!
TOTALLY AWESOME TUESDAY!!!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
just remember. Not everyone can do this. we see this. so every day you can do this? even for one single day? well that's a pretty damn fantastic day isn't it? every day counts, whether stand alone or consecutive. another 24 hours for me please team A!
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