Class of April 2014 Part 16
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
Thanks Freen 
Yea it's a positive step in the right direction for me...I move in next week I'm off tomorrow and gonna start going thru all my stuff, boxing up and tossing out unnecessary clutter, for the first time in my life I can say I'm fat lol I've gained a lot of weight from the meds I'm on, but I really don't care, i would rather be fat and happy then skinny and on crack lol...I'm gonna donate all my old clothes that don't fit me anymore, I have childhood toys that are just cultivating dust, so conscidering it's close to the holidays I'm gonna donate those as well, no use in my life I'm a video gamer now hahaha...but yea, I don't feel "stuck" anymore...it's funny too now that I'm more aware of the codependant tendencies in my current living situation, I can see it...my mom was telling me to get the F out of the house and now that I am she's sad and making me feel crappy for what I'm doing, but I'm not letting it dictate my actions...I also think we have been getting along better recently, but I'm only going one town over, and will be checking in on her almost daily, she just got an iPhone so we can FaceTime also if I'm wrapped up
Yea it's a positive step in the right direction for me...I move in next week I'm off tomorrow and gonna start going thru all my stuff, boxing up and tossing out unnecessary clutter, for the first time in my life I can say I'm fat lol I've gained a lot of weight from the meds I'm on, but I really don't care, i would rather be fat and happy then skinny and on crack lol...I'm gonna donate all my old clothes that don't fit me anymore, I have childhood toys that are just cultivating dust, so conscidering it's close to the holidays I'm gonna donate those as well, no use in my life I'm a video gamer now hahaha...but yea, I don't feel "stuck" anymore...it's funny too now that I'm more aware of the codependant tendencies in my current living situation, I can see it...my mom was telling me to get the F out of the house and now that I am she's sad and making me feel crappy for what I'm doing, but I'm not letting it dictate my actions...I also think we have been getting along better recently, but I'm only going one town over, and will be checking in on her almost daily, she just got an iPhone so we can FaceTime also if I'm wrapped up
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
I love all of you guys <3 this site has been a huge factor in my journey, I don't know how I got along without SR honestly...well I wasn't haha...I feel so hopeful and greatful today...something I haven't felt in years and years
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
Depression is no friggen joke man, holy crap! Now that I'm kinda pulling myself out and working hard at the clinic...I can't believe people that believe depression dosent exist...my older brother is that way, he's like "JUST SUCK IT UP!" But he's like a super guys guy, he's a cop and was a cop in Brooklyn years ago, he's a tough man....I'm not the same way tho! I'm a more sensative person and I'm into things that would be labeled as "girly" and I love it that way...I'm very emotional and care about feelings very much, my own and for others as well...I can't just "suck it up" it's way deeper then that....not to sound like an ass but my brother isn't as deep as I am...he's easily entertained by a super hero movie where I would get more pleasure out of an amazing song or a good book/story or creating some artwork...not intellectually he's a smart man...I'm just deeper I guess...I'm seeing that it's not a bad thing at all, I just can't let my crazy up and down emotions dictate my actions...I can act impulsively off a feeling or thought...my therapist is showing me how to look at things a bit more rationally and not thinking with my emotions...and the impending doom that I precieve on a daily basis is not entirely true, I got a lot going on up in my noggin and I can't believe EVERYTHING that runs thru my head...when things go wrong I always got really upset and just locked myself in a room and hide from it...I have to remain calm and take each situation as it comes...I can't freak out and have a meltdown every time things don't go my way....I was thinking with my "wounded child" part of myself and not my adult rational 28 year old mind...
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Good day Fools.
ST glad you are doing good. Such a great change from months ago. I really like the trampoline quote.
I completely agree with you about how some people have no clue about depression. Of course I spent most of my life depressed and didn't truly realize it. Even when I tried to discuss things with my ex during a truly dark time her answer was "just stop" then she turned and walked away.
Good luck with your trip and getting to spend time with your relatives, and not stuck working the whole time Adna.
Keeping you all in my thoughts, both those who are posting those who aren't.
Have a great day.
ST glad you are doing good. Such a great change from months ago. I really like the trampoline quote.
I completely agree with you about how some people have no clue about depression. Of course I spent most of my life depressed and didn't truly realize it. Even when I tried to discuss things with my ex during a truly dark time her answer was "just stop" then she turned and walked away.
Good luck with your trip and getting to spend time with your relatives, and not stuck working the whole time Adna.
Keeping you all in my thoughts, both those who are posting those who aren't.
Have a great day.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
Thanks! Yes that's unfortunate cause that makes you feel worse or like wrong for the way you feel, I had the same problem with friends over Facebook when I was expressing how crappy I was feeling...thankfully we do live in an age where mental health is taken more seriously...I did a little family digging and found out that's essentially why my dad took his own life...he didn't have help and REALLY didn't wanna go to jail, both quite understandable...but we live in better times now with that stuff...people are taking it seriously...I really am changing I can feel it and so happy about it...I felt so trapped and life felt impossible...but it's not and I'm moving in the right direction, like literally moving lol...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
Getting this apartment is the "fresh start" I need...I've been in that house my entire life and there are wonderful memories there but also horrible ones...I'm insanely looking forward to having my own space, I know life will feel nicer then being trapped in the same room my baby crib was in...I'm not abandoning my mom either I worry about her daily, I'm a 5 min drive from the house, plus in the summer I'll be helping myself to the beach passes and chars and stuff 
I'm also looking forward to having my own kitchen, I short hand cooked for a few years so Im petty good at cooking, my fiancé has loved everything I made for her, and she's super itilian and her dad and mom taught her some amazing stuff, I'm looking forward to her food as well! It's just gonna be so nice, and nice home cooked meal from my favorite person on the planet and just snuggling up to a nice movie on the couch after, I can't wait!!! Our relationship is even better now she loves my new attitude
I'm also looking forward to having my own kitchen, I short hand cooked for a few years so Im petty good at cooking, my fiancé has loved everything I made for her, and she's super itilian and her dad and mom taught her some amazing stuff, I'm looking forward to her food as well! It's just gonna be so nice, and nice home cooked meal from my favorite person on the planet and just snuggling up to a nice movie on the couch after, I can't wait!!! Our relationship is even better now she loves my new attitude
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 801
ST! I'm so happy for you both . Like Top said, you're optimism is infectious. Sounds like you're learning some great stuff and not giving up is soooo paying off... so proud of you! (as if you're my little bro or something, ha!).
My husband has a major "girl side" to him and I'm so glad. We argue about decorating, which is annoying- lol- But, other than that, being able to watch chick flics and talk about feelings really is nice. Most of the time he's more emotional than me and that's saying somethin'. You're fiance is lucky to have you- yall sound like a great match.!
. Like Top said, you're optimism is infectious. Sounds like you're learning some great stuff and not giving up is soooo paying off... so proud of you! (as if you're my little bro or something, ha!).My husband has a major "girl side" to him and I'm so glad. We argue about decorating, which is annoying- lol- But, other than that, being able to watch chick flics and talk about feelings really is nice. Most of the time he's more emotional than me and that's saying somethin'. You're fiance is lucky to have you- yall sound like a great match.
!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
Thanks izzy this all means a lot to me! Yea she's the best I'm so happy I'm marrying my actual best friend. Yea I love girly stuff I like cooking and sewing, I love women's reality TV and same chick flicks, I would pick one of those over a cheezy horror movie any day of the week! I'm the same exact way, I'm more emotional then she is without a doubt. I like reading her gossip magazines, they are awesome! I even had enough courage to wear a dress one Halloween!!!
I think it's healthy for a man to get in touch with his feminine side, more guys should try it!!!! I couldent see my brother in an apron baking cookies, but i absolutely love it!
I like cooking and sewing, I love women's reality TV and same chick flicks, I would pick one of those over a cheezy horror movie any day of the week! I'm the same exact way, I'm more emotional then she is without a doubt. I like reading her gossip magazines, they are awesome! I even had enough courage to wear a dress one Halloween!!! I think it's healthy for a man to get in touch with his feminine side, more guys should try it!!!! I couldent see my brother in an apron baking cookies, but i absolutely love it!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,315
Hi Fools,
Monday morning, 8.35am
sitting at the desk.....
I'll take some photos of my classroom, office and post them.
ST: You sound good man!
Topspin: Loved the south park drinking commercial....... drink, drink, drink,
Mariah: Awesome effort....
Up: good to have you posting again.....
Dee: Did you see Noel Pearson's speech at GW's funeral.... bloody brilliant...
For any fools interested in recent aussie history, Noel's speech at the state funeral was IMO really emotive and an accurate overview of aussie politics and what a man of honest conviction can achieve.....
I'm not sleeping, really much at all. The wife has made a 'nest' on the floor by our bed. Things are getting slightly weird...!
We're coping pretty well, but I'm finding rest hard to come by.
I think my underlying level of tension is high, too high, I guess I'm panicking about baby Obo.....
Time for form 2A oral class....
Hope all the fools are well, it's good to have an active group again...!
stay tuned.................
Monday morning, 8.35am
sitting at the desk.....
I'll take some photos of my classroom, office and post them.
ST: You sound good man!
Topspin: Loved the south park drinking commercial....... drink, drink, drink,
Mariah: Awesome effort....
Up: good to have you posting again.....
Dee: Did you see Noel Pearson's speech at GW's funeral.... bloody brilliant...
For any fools interested in recent aussie history, Noel's speech at the state funeral was IMO really emotive and an accurate overview of aussie politics and what a man of honest conviction can achieve.....
I'm not sleeping, really much at all. The wife has made a 'nest' on the floor by our bed. Things are getting slightly weird...!
We're coping pretty well, but I'm finding rest hard to come by.
I think my underlying level of tension is high, too high, I guess I'm panicking about baby Obo.....
Time for form 2A oral class....
Hope all the fools are well, it's good to have an active group again...!
stay tuned.................
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Good to hear from you obo. Just remember worrying about baby obo won't help anything. May cause undo stress on the three of you. Plus, when baby obo arrives you won't be getting much sleep then either. Best wishes and prayers.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,477
good to see you ST - glad all is going well
Obo - I understand you worryiong but you got the all clear from the Docs...you worrying about it won't change anything, y'know?
Try and relax mate - baby obo is gonna be a beaut.
Yeah saw Noel's speech - brilliant...Cate Blanchett and Kerry O Brien were pretty good too
D
Obo - I understand you worryiong but you got the all clear from the Docs...you worrying about it won't change anything, y'know?
Try and relax mate - baby obo is gonna be a beaut.
Yeah saw Noel's speech - brilliant...Cate Blanchett and Kerry O Brien were pretty good too
D
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