Class of March 2013 part 31
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
(((North))), so sorry you've been sick.
17 months is amazing! When I get there I will be so proud and I am bursting at the seams over your success (and I'll bet that one of you jokesters will treat me to a pic or cartoon of me bursting at the seams!)
Support is the most valuable thing for me. It makes a huge difference to be with a group of people that "gets it"
Life, you will make it when inside you are ready. I hope you know I am here to support you, as are the other Marchers. It can be a long, hard journey but it's not impossible. They don't call us the stubborn Dutch for no reason ;-)
17 months is amazing! When I get there I will be so proud and I am bursting at the seams over your success (and I'll bet that one of you jokesters will treat me to a pic or cartoon of me bursting at the seams!)
Support is the most valuable thing for me. It makes a huge difference to be with a group of people that "gets it"
Life, you will make it when inside you are ready. I hope you know I am here to support you, as are the other Marchers. It can be a long, hard journey but it's not impossible. They don't call us the stubborn Dutch for no reason ;-)
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
LTP - none of us can tell you what you should or shouldn't do. I can only relate my own experience.
I know you're facing tough decisions, but for me, to even have the choice to get help is a privilege. I didn't get that chance. I didn't get to choose when to become sober. I didn't get to chose when to put down the bottle. I didn't get the opportunity to ask for help until it was already too late.
That's because the window of opportunity to make that choice is forever shrinking until it's gone. And when it's gone, the result is basically being strapped to a board in the back of an ambulance while they haul you away to a psych ward, or death.
My rehab wasn't posh. I slept on a 2 inch thick mattress with plastic pillows. Two working pay phones for almost 100 people. No tv, internet, radio, or cell phones. My days were spent either in group sessions, AA meetings or doing mandatory chores like picking up cigarette butts and doing dishes. I went there with only the clothes on my back and a few things my mom could scrounge together in a pinch; some clothes she found in her house I wore 15 years ago in high school and a toothbrush she got at the hospital. I had to beg and borrow for the rest when I got there.
There were many people in there who were either on the verge of losing their jobs or had no job at all. Who had no place to live once they got out. But those people realized getting clean was the most important first step to rectifying every other issue in their life. Many went on to live in recovery houses, which are very affordable. These houses give you accountability like mandatory meetings and drug/alcohol testing, as well as the freedom to find work. I have several friends that still live in recovery houses.
There will always be a reason not to seek help immediately. But there are also always reasons why not seeking help when you have the chance will have disastrous consequences, more painful than you can even imagine. And that's if you're lucky to wake up like I did. You can take yourself further down the rabbit hole if you wish. But as someone who also chose not to get help until it was too late to have that choice, I can tell you first hand that it's not a pretty sight. I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone. It haunts me in my dreams. It haunts me when I'm awake. And even sober, I probably would have already killed myself if I didn't work AA to the best of my ability.
I wish you all the best and I'm here if you need me. But it's not my place to tell you what decision to make. That needs to come from inside you. Because if your'e not ready to take getting help seriously, as if your life depends on it, then any help won't work.
I know you're facing tough decisions, but for me, to even have the choice to get help is a privilege. I didn't get that chance. I didn't get to choose when to become sober. I didn't get to chose when to put down the bottle. I didn't get the opportunity to ask for help until it was already too late.
That's because the window of opportunity to make that choice is forever shrinking until it's gone. And when it's gone, the result is basically being strapped to a board in the back of an ambulance while they haul you away to a psych ward, or death.
My rehab wasn't posh. I slept on a 2 inch thick mattress with plastic pillows. Two working pay phones for almost 100 people. No tv, internet, radio, or cell phones. My days were spent either in group sessions, AA meetings or doing mandatory chores like picking up cigarette butts and doing dishes. I went there with only the clothes on my back and a few things my mom could scrounge together in a pinch; some clothes she found in her house I wore 15 years ago in high school and a toothbrush she got at the hospital. I had to beg and borrow for the rest when I got there.
There were many people in there who were either on the verge of losing their jobs or had no job at all. Who had no place to live once they got out. But those people realized getting clean was the most important first step to rectifying every other issue in their life. Many went on to live in recovery houses, which are very affordable. These houses give you accountability like mandatory meetings and drug/alcohol testing, as well as the freedom to find work. I have several friends that still live in recovery houses.
There will always be a reason not to seek help immediately. But there are also always reasons why not seeking help when you have the chance will have disastrous consequences, more painful than you can even imagine. And that's if you're lucky to wake up like I did. You can take yourself further down the rabbit hole if you wish. But as someone who also chose not to get help until it was too late to have that choice, I can tell you first hand that it's not a pretty sight. I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone. It haunts me in my dreams. It haunts me when I'm awake. And even sober, I probably would have already killed myself if I didn't work AA to the best of my ability.
I wish you all the best and I'm here if you need me. But it's not my place to tell you what decision to make. That needs to come from inside you. Because if your'e not ready to take getting help seriously, as if your life depends on it, then any help won't work.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
DD, thanks for your wise words! When I met with the addictions program director, he (and later the addictions counselor) made it crystal clear to me where I was headed. I knew I needed help but kept putting it off. It used to be easier to quit but the older I get, the harder it is to stop. Both clinicians said inpatient rehab was a good option for me and they aren't sure if I'll make it with the IOP. So if I don't, inpatient is what I will need. That really scared me because if I thought the alcohol was disrupting my life, having to go that route would mess up so much that I've worked so hard for. I don't think I'd be able to go to the retirement community I've worked so hard to do. So I have a whole lot of reasons now; well, I guess I've always had all of those reasons but kept kidding myself that I had plenty of time and thought I'd just be able to quit when I wanted to. However, now I do know that if the IOP doesn't work for me, there won't be any real choice because if I choose to continue to drink, I doubt I'd last more than a few years if that long. And then I won't get to do all those things I planned on, either. So inpatient is better than continuing to drink. At least I might live. And so I have lots of reasons to work the IOP *exactly* how I'm supposed to and as seriously as I can. It's my next to the last chance and I don't want to blow it.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Good morning (just 11.59) Marchers 
It's a lovely morning in Paradise, it's Sunday, I'm just back from the local Produce Markets -- it doesn't get much better than this. I picked up all-local mandarins, avocados, tomatoes, lettuce, baby bok choy, mushrooms, strawberries, broccoli, broad beans and peas. Love that it's all reasonably local, organic and so fresh you can hear it snapping.
We had dinner out with friends last night, quite a nice dinner but my new-found patience and calm took a hammering. This is my oldest friend, we went to school together but we are both quite different people to what we were as young adults and I find her hard to get along with these days. Mr Marcher, who likes everyone (and everyone likes him) finds her hard going too.
Well a bottle of wine was opened and I made a mistake of saying "Ah a Marlborough Chardonnay, that'll be good." That opened the floodgates with my friend -- didn't I want a glass? etc etc I said thanks but no, I was just remarking. She is kind of bossy, kept at it for five minutes on and off. Like Sass had to do with one of her friends I think I may need to draw a firm line.
Life I hear what you are saying about pay. DD and Sass have spoken of their experiences, I'll just add one thing: for all of us this is a matter of life or death as Dee clearly reminds us. We might be on a continuum but each time we pick up we are getting closer to the end.
Take care peeps.
It's a lovely morning in Paradise, it's Sunday, I'm just back from the local Produce Markets -- it doesn't get much better than this. I picked up all-local mandarins, avocados, tomatoes, lettuce, baby bok choy, mushrooms, strawberries, broccoli, broad beans and peas. Love that it's all reasonably local, organic and so fresh you can hear it snapping.We had dinner out with friends last night, quite a nice dinner but my new-found patience and calm took a hammering. This is my oldest friend, we went to school together but we are both quite different people to what we were as young adults and I find her hard to get along with these days. Mr Marcher, who likes everyone (and everyone likes him) finds her hard going too.
Well a bottle of wine was opened and I made a mistake of saying "Ah a Marlborough Chardonnay, that'll be good." That opened the floodgates with my friend -- didn't I want a glass? etc etc I said thanks but no, I was just remarking. She is kind of bossy, kept at it for five minutes on and off. Like Sass had to do with one of her friends I think I may need to draw a firm line.
Life I hear what you are saying about pay. DD and Sass have spoken of their experiences, I'll just add one thing: for all of us this is a matter of life or death as Dee clearly reminds us. We might be on a continuum but each time we pick up we are getting closer to the end.
Take care peeps.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Congratulations DD
and yeah Marcher I'm not the melodramatic type but it really is life or death.
I heard from a former member here today - not of this group - they were saying they wished they had done something about this years back cos things were really bad now...
I kept putting off the changes I knew I had to make because I knew I'd have to face things I didn't want to face...
The irony being in the end, by putting recovery off, I faced things far far worse.
D
and yeah Marcher I'm not the melodramatic type but it really is life or death.
I heard from a former member here today - not of this group - they were saying they wished they had done something about this years back cos things were really bad now...
I kept putting off the changes I knew I had to make because I knew I'd have to face things I didn't want to face...
The irony being in the end, by putting recovery off, I faced things far far worse.
D
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I kept putting off the changes I knew I had to make because I knew I'd have to face things I didn't want to face...
The irony being in the end, by putting recovery off, I faced things far far worse.
D
The irony being in the end, by putting recovery off, I faced things far far worse.
D
DD, congrats on 500 days! You do give me hope that if I haven't already done too much damage that I, too, can get ba k to a sober, productive life again.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Originally Posted by digdug
just finishing my 500th day sober. That is all. 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Thanks Gilmer! Yep, we have our American and Australian dates ironed out, Twin and I had 17 months yesterday/today depending where you are.
Ken I multiplied our 17 months by 30, we must have reached our 500 days about the turn of the month.
Ken I multiplied our 17 months by 30, we must have reached our 500 days about the turn of the month.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,733
Congratulations, DD, Marcher & Budd!! You're all an inspiration to the rest of us
Trying to keep my anxiety in check this morning. Getting ready for school to start, a birthday party next week and then our labor day bbq in a few weeks. So much to be done - it's really a house warming / labor day party and we're having at least 50 people. Not sure why I'm all tied up in knots - it's just a party. Anyways, off for a run to try to get these nerves in check before it gets too hot here.
Sass, I'm praying for good results next month.
North, so good to see you.
I hope everyone had a good weekend.
Trying to keep my anxiety in check this morning. Getting ready for school to start, a birthday party next week and then our labor day bbq in a few weeks. So much to be done - it's really a house warming / labor day party and we're having at least 50 people. Not sure why I'm all tied up in knots - it's just a party. Anyways, off for a run to try to get these nerves in check before it gets too hot here.
Sass, I'm praying for good results next month.
North, so good to see you.
I hope everyone had a good weekend.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 891
DD as always such wise words and such food for thought. It is truly inspirational how you have managed to turn your life around. From following you since you first joined the Marchers, I do of course know your story.........but it is really good to be reminded now and again. I don't have a working printer at home but I am most def going to print out your last couple of long posts and keep them in my diary to be able to pull out at any time for support, I have your words ringing in my ear.......in a good way.
Sass, I really hope the IOP works out for you, we can do this Sass, listen to every word your addictions counsellor says, absorb it and think of it over and over again. I really hope your scans and LFT's come back ok..........if they do come back worse than last time, use it as even more inspiration to ensure this IOP works. Use that stubbornness to prove to yourself and the Docs that they will be improved next time they're checked. I'm thinking of you as we each battle this.
North, thanks for your supportive words of advice. Again more words for me to absorb and use as a deterrent to drink. I'm sorry to hear you've been unwell and happy to hear that you are now on the mend. I never knew about the Chemo. I must have missed that at some point........is that now in the past and you are now in remission? Take care and keep on writing.....perhaps you'l give us the details of a book you'w written that we can read assuming you write under a false name.
Duff, sorry to hear the anxiety is kicking in. It can be absolutely debilitating at times so I can completely relate with you. Great advice from you for me to run. It's winter and it's so hard to motivate when it's pouring, dark and windy. I hope your run goes well and you feel better. Yesterday I couldn't have ran.....most def in withdrawals. I've been lucky, managed to just sleep it off between yesterday and today.
I didn't manage to get to the pharmacy today. It closes at 3pm on a Sun. I was still in bed trying to sleep off the withdrawals, sweating and shaking it out.
I received a text from someone I met in AA last week. She reminded me she would collect me in an hour. There was no way I would have gone without her.
It was absolutely great, I loved it. I went to the same meeting last week. I'd had a few beers before I went. Attending tonight was so different, I just took so much in. I felt so positive leaving, almost on a high. Cleaned the house which i'd ignored all weekend. The girl who gave me a lift there even bought the big blue book for me. She said just to read the stories at the back for now reading about outer peoples experience. I said i'd give her money for the book, I couldn't accept but she said to me..........when she first attended her first meeting.........someone bought the book for her. When she tried to give this lady money she said no..........instead you buy for someone else but wait until the time is right. She's 8 years sober and has attended meeting consistently for those 8 years..........tonight as she handed it to me she said..........for some reason......now the time is right!
Sorry, i've rambled but i'm just a bit stunned at what happened tonight. I feel my scepticism is dissipating. I'm feeling so strong. I've to meet with my PDoc tomorrow. Only one day ago I was dreading tomorrows appointment knowing full well he would reiterate that he is very close to writing to the nursing board to withdraw his letter of recommendation. I feel so so ready to make every possible attempt for him to give me this last chance........this last chance i've begged for the past several weeks.......i've then of course fallen off the wagon, just as told me he expected. This time it's different, i'm going into that appointment strong and feeling full of defence.
Oh dear, I have rambled so much..........i'm not reading back over. Big hello to Shoes, toots, Gilmer, WeHave, Ken, Marcher, Snaggle if you're lurking , Dee and if i've missed you, you, next time you'll get a special shout out of your own.
Bed time.
Nite and much love folks.
A rather excited LP xx
Sass, I really hope the IOP works out for you, we can do this Sass, listen to every word your addictions counsellor says, absorb it and think of it over and over again. I really hope your scans and LFT's come back ok..........if they do come back worse than last time, use it as even more inspiration to ensure this IOP works. Use that stubbornness to prove to yourself and the Docs that they will be improved next time they're checked. I'm thinking of you as we each battle this.
North, thanks for your supportive words of advice. Again more words for me to absorb and use as a deterrent to drink. I'm sorry to hear you've been unwell and happy to hear that you are now on the mend. I never knew about the Chemo. I must have missed that at some point........is that now in the past and you are now in remission? Take care and keep on writing.....perhaps you'l give us the details of a book you'w written that we can read assuming you write under a false name.
Duff, sorry to hear the anxiety is kicking in. It can be absolutely debilitating at times so I can completely relate with you. Great advice from you for me to run. It's winter and it's so hard to motivate when it's pouring, dark and windy. I hope your run goes well and you feel better. Yesterday I couldn't have ran.....most def in withdrawals. I've been lucky, managed to just sleep it off between yesterday and today.
I didn't manage to get to the pharmacy today. It closes at 3pm on a Sun. I was still in bed trying to sleep off the withdrawals, sweating and shaking it out.
I received a text from someone I met in AA last week. She reminded me she would collect me in an hour. There was no way I would have gone without her.
It was absolutely great, I loved it. I went to the same meeting last week. I'd had a few beers before I went. Attending tonight was so different, I just took so much in. I felt so positive leaving, almost on a high. Cleaned the house which i'd ignored all weekend. The girl who gave me a lift there even bought the big blue book for me. She said just to read the stories at the back for now reading about outer peoples experience. I said i'd give her money for the book, I couldn't accept but she said to me..........when she first attended her first meeting.........someone bought the book for her. When she tried to give this lady money she said no..........instead you buy for someone else but wait until the time is right. She's 8 years sober and has attended meeting consistently for those 8 years..........tonight as she handed it to me she said..........for some reason......now the time is right!
Sorry, i've rambled but i'm just a bit stunned at what happened tonight. I feel my scepticism is dissipating. I'm feeling so strong. I've to meet with my PDoc tomorrow. Only one day ago I was dreading tomorrows appointment knowing full well he would reiterate that he is very close to writing to the nursing board to withdraw his letter of recommendation. I feel so so ready to make every possible attempt for him to give me this last chance........this last chance i've begged for the past several weeks.......i've then of course fallen off the wagon, just as told me he expected. This time it's different, i'm going into that appointment strong and feeling full of defence.
Oh dear, I have rambled so much..........i'm not reading back over. Big hello to Shoes, toots, Gilmer, WeHave, Ken, Marcher, Snaggle if you're lurking , Dee and if i've missed you, you, next time you'll get a special shout out of your own.
Bed time.
Nite and much love folks.
A rather excited LP xx
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
(((Life)))! We will make it through this! You sound the best I've heard you in all this time. The harder part for me is when the lows hit. That's when it's harder for me to keep my resolve but it's life-affirming to stay away from alcohol. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for those tests. The riskier drinking has been for the past month; prior to that, it was a challenge every day but I did manage to very strictly limit and also abstain for some good spells.
I now realize more fully, I think, how much I was deluding myself. From some of our IOP readings, I'm seeing confirmation of what I've experienced - it takes so much time and energy to limit alcohol that it took over my life and didn't leave time and energy for fun. What a waste!
The other concept that is finally getting through to me, both from IOP and some SR members, is that for me, sobriety has to be a lifetime commitment. Like DD, I have a severe anxiety disorder (I've been on klonopin for 20 years). This means that in calm times there are lots of things I can do well. When stressed, as with this recent move, I really struggle from day-to-day and even sometimes minute-to-minute. When that happens, if I've gotten complacent, it's too easy to fall back into addiction - even after 10 years and more. So part of this process for me is also accepting and managing and working on my anxiety levels (psychotherapy, mindfulness, deep and slow breathing, yoga, other exercise, meditation, etc).
I'm trying hard not to use the s... word. I do feel uncomfortable about the fact that I haven't been honest with all of you wonderful people. It wasn't consciously deliberate and wasn't all of the time. Nevertheless, it feels very painful. I'm finding out from my reading that lying is typical with alcoholism. I lied to myself, too.
Life, love, you are helping me be more open and honest about my struggles. DD, your example and open sharing are making a huge difference for me. I'm going to an AA meeting this week! And to all of you, thank you from the bottom of my heart for sticking by me through this!
I now realize more fully, I think, how much I was deluding myself. From some of our IOP readings, I'm seeing confirmation of what I've experienced - it takes so much time and energy to limit alcohol that it took over my life and didn't leave time and energy for fun. What a waste!
The other concept that is finally getting through to me, both from IOP and some SR members, is that for me, sobriety has to be a lifetime commitment. Like DD, I have a severe anxiety disorder (I've been on klonopin for 20 years). This means that in calm times there are lots of things I can do well. When stressed, as with this recent move, I really struggle from day-to-day and even sometimes minute-to-minute. When that happens, if I've gotten complacent, it's too easy to fall back into addiction - even after 10 years and more. So part of this process for me is also accepting and managing and working on my anxiety levels (psychotherapy, mindfulness, deep and slow breathing, yoga, other exercise, meditation, etc).
I'm trying hard not to use the s... word. I do feel uncomfortable about the fact that I haven't been honest with all of you wonderful people. It wasn't consciously deliberate and wasn't all of the time. Nevertheless, it feels very painful. I'm finding out from my reading that lying is typical with alcoholism. I lied to myself, too.
Life, love, you are helping me be more open and honest about my struggles. DD, your example and open sharing are making a huge difference for me. I'm going to an AA meeting this week! And to all of you, thank you from the bottom of my heart for sticking by me through this!
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,168
Life, this isn't specific to you, it is something we can all be guilty of but I feel it is worth noting. Is is in line with What DD had to say about some of the addicts in his rehab.
We can always find excuses to remain where we are rather than acknowledge the reason we need to change. You are running out of time to allow for excuses if you don't make the changes you may well end up jobless and homeless anyway, but still in thrall of the addiction. See you PDoc tomorrow, tell him you will do whatever it takes to get clean. Worry about everything else after that. I know that is easy for me to say from the comfort of my home, but love, you are running out of time.
Sass, much as I know you get support and advice here, it obviously hasn't been enough for you, and I feel you already know that. Your AV is trying to talk you out of f2f help. You are far to intelligent to allow it to. For goodness sake, if needs be, use the opportunity to write a thesis on the good and bad of AA! As North said so beautifully, it is always possible to find a positive in a negative if we only chose to look
North, I am sorry to hear you have been so ill, and I hope you manage to put back the weight in convalescence. You make sure that hubby of yours looks after you or he will have the full might of the Marchers coming down on him! ((((Hugs))))
DD. When I thought of your 500 days sobriety, I thought of it as 500 days of rebirth. Literally. You died and came back, in doing so you managed to shuck off the old you and become the person we now have the pleasure and privilege of knowing. From what you have said about DD mark 1 I don't think I would have liked him very much. DD mark 2 however, has earned my utmost respect and admiration.
Marcher, I'm glad you managed to hold your tongue, it can't have been easy. Some 'Normies' are just so thick skinned and insensitive they really don't understand no means no. The only other people who are as insistent are drinkers yet to face their problem. Can I assume your friend falls into one of these categories? Sounds like your morning cleansed you of the discomfort of the previous eve.
Babs, please, whatever your current situation love, you don't need to hover, a word or two would be lovely.
Duff, social anxiety is an ongoing thing for me, I constantly have to force myself out there. You wouldn't believe it from my interactions, I am the life and soul of the party, fun loving, outgoing, I love getting people to tell me all about themselves, bringing shy ones out of their shells. Most of it comes from a 'fake it til you make it' attitude, some from wanting to make others feel more comfortable, some from a inherent desire to know everything about everything, which means listening to people. But when I am in my home thinking about setting foot outside I have to force that first foot over the threshold every time.
How's life in Budsville?! (Pop 3 not counting the fish)
Shoes, are you still a smoke free zone? Does MF smoke? Is he still struggling to find work? Hugs x
All y'all have a nice day ya hear ( that was for you Life! Yes I do use americanisms, but believe it or not I do it deliberately, same as when I say or write cannae, or dunnae it's to do with the accent I am thinking in at the time. Schizophrenic tendencies, I think it's to do with my imagination having free rein constantly! )
We can always find excuses to remain where we are rather than acknowledge the reason we need to change. You are running out of time to allow for excuses if you don't make the changes you may well end up jobless and homeless anyway, but still in thrall of the addiction. See you PDoc tomorrow, tell him you will do whatever it takes to get clean. Worry about everything else after that. I know that is easy for me to say from the comfort of my home, but love, you are running out of time.
Sass, much as I know you get support and advice here, it obviously hasn't been enough for you, and I feel you already know that. Your AV is trying to talk you out of f2f help. You are far to intelligent to allow it to. For goodness sake, if needs be, use the opportunity to write a thesis on the good and bad of AA! As North said so beautifully, it is always possible to find a positive in a negative if we only chose to look
North, I am sorry to hear you have been so ill, and I hope you manage to put back the weight in convalescence. You make sure that hubby of yours looks after you or he will have the full might of the Marchers coming down on him! ((((Hugs))))
DD. When I thought of your 500 days sobriety, I thought of it as 500 days of rebirth. Literally. You died and came back, in doing so you managed to shuck off the old you and become the person we now have the pleasure and privilege of knowing. From what you have said about DD mark 1 I don't think I would have liked him very much. DD mark 2 however, has earned my utmost respect and admiration.
Marcher, I'm glad you managed to hold your tongue, it can't have been easy. Some 'Normies' are just so thick skinned and insensitive they really don't understand no means no. The only other people who are as insistent are drinkers yet to face their problem. Can I assume your friend falls into one of these categories? Sounds like your morning cleansed you of the discomfort of the previous eve.
Babs, please, whatever your current situation love, you don't need to hover, a word or two would be lovely.
Duff, social anxiety is an ongoing thing for me, I constantly have to force myself out there. You wouldn't believe it from my interactions, I am the life and soul of the party, fun loving, outgoing, I love getting people to tell me all about themselves, bringing shy ones out of their shells. Most of it comes from a 'fake it til you make it' attitude, some from wanting to make others feel more comfortable, some from a inherent desire to know everything about everything, which means listening to people. But when I am in my home thinking about setting foot outside I have to force that first foot over the threshold every time.
How's life in Budsville?! (Pop 3 not counting the fish)
Shoes, are you still a smoke free zone? Does MF smoke? Is he still struggling to find work? Hugs x
All y'all have a nice day ya hear ( that was for you Life! Yes I do use americanisms, but believe it or not I do it deliberately, same as when I say or write cannae, or dunnae it's to do with the accent I am thinking in at the time. Schizophrenic tendencies, I think it's to do with my imagination having free rein constantly! )
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Good morning Marchers from a grey chilly paradise <<<--------- it doesn't deserve a capital "p". I had planned to go for a bike ride this morning but I refuse to do that in 11C which it is at the moment, I'll take Marcher dog for a second walk instead.
Gilmer where are you? Are you well? How are you doing with coming off your medication?
Have a good day peeps.
Gilmer where are you? Are you well? How are you doing with coming off your medication?
Have a good day peeps.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Ok, Marchers, I've got a list of 7 different AA meetings this week that either look good or were recommended. So I have to pick one for this week plus 3 IOP sessions and 1 pdoc session. Closing on condo Friday, too so no free time for Sassy this week!
Made it to my regular grocery store today where I usually bought my wine. Some cravings but I decided I don't want to do that. I think I stuck my tongue out at the AV though I think ignoring it would be best.
Made it to my regular grocery store today where I usually bought my wine. Some cravings but I decided I don't want to do that. I think I stuck my tongue out at the AV though I think ignoring it would be best.
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
Originally Posted by lifetplant
Sorry, i've rambled but i'm just a bit stunned at what happened tonight. I feel my scepticism is dissipating. I'm feeling so strong. I've to meet with my PDoc tomorrow. Only one day ago I was dreading tomorrows appointment knowing full well he would reiterate that he is very close to writing to the nursing board to withdraw his letter of recommendation. I feel so so ready to make every possible attempt for him to give me this last chance........this last chance i've begged for the past several weeks.......i've then of course fallen off the wagon, just as told me he expected. This time it's different, i'm going into that appointment strong and feeling full of defence.
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