Class of October 2013 - Part 12
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 358
Originally Posted by DoubleDragons 
Cindy, you are not a jerk. You did what you had to do to protect yourself emotionally. Just because he had reached a place where he was ready to start "parenting", doesn't mean you were in a good place to rekindle all of those confusing emotions. It has taken me my whole life to realize that we don't owe other adults anything and they do not owe us anything. Your dad is now in a place where he understands fully the whole picture of life and the only thing he feels and understands is love for you and for everything else.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
We love you, friend Cindy, and I am so sorry for your loss. Also I so am right in line with DD . I used to hurt because I felt cheated out of a dad when he died and I was 12. My mother was a complete lunatic from then on. She's now in a nursing home trapped within a nuerotic aging body that will barely allow her to speak. She comes unglued after 3 minutes of visiting anyone, but begs you to come back and see her. My brother and sister don't even visit anymore, but we do. It's a bitter pill, but under no circumstances would she ever come back to live with us again. She did everything she could to make our lives the living hell hers was. Worst time in my life and OH boy did I pour it down then. Whew.
Please don't be too hard on yourself.
Please don't be too hard on yourself.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 358
Originally Posted by JL2014
We love you, friend Cindy, and I am so sorry for your loss. Also I so am right in line with DD . I used to hurt because I felt cheated out of a dad when he died and I was 12. My mother was a complete lunatic from then on. She's now in a nursing home trapped within a nuerotic aging body that will barely allow her to speak. She comes unglued after 3 minutes of visiting anyone, but begs you to come back and see her. My brother and sister don't even visit anymore, but we do. It's a bitter pill, but under no circumstances would she ever come back to live with us again. She did everything she could to make our lives the living hell hers was. Worst time in my life and OH boy did I pour it down then. Whew.
Please don't be too hard on yourself.
Please don't be too hard on yourself.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,443
Hi Guys! Well, it's been a while, but I am still above water and SOBER 
Skimmed through a lot of the posts.....Jeff....way to go! Hang in there, you are doing great! Cyndi, really very sorry for your loss. I lost both of my parents years ago....it is never easy...whether you said what you had hoped to say or did not have the opportunity. For me, it was one of each....but, I forgive myself and I forgive them.....that is what keeps me sane as of this very minute. On my mother's headstone it reads "Life is an adventure". That is what she wanted it to say....As for me...ALL KINDS OF NEWS.....new lawyer is moving forward against University, Tenant is moving....we will be flying to CA again (together!) on Sunday (I think)...AND WE HAVE THE CAR I BOUGHT THERE.....and....WE BOUGHT A NEW CAR HERE....AND, I BOUGHT A CAR FOR MY (addict) daughter....WHO IS DOING GREAT.....and.....ALL OF THEM ARE PAID IN FULL!!!! Finally, I just upgraded to a PLATINUM American Express today, that I have been avoiding for YEARS, due to the annual fee, but NOW, I will get 50,000 MILES!!!! DD...in terms of housing (and cars and EVERYTHING), I know that as I get older, it is not impt. where I live, what I drive, what I wear, etc. I AM WHO I AM. I no longer WANT big house or need a brand new corvette, or any of that stuff....it is all just "stuff" to me now. I think that moving to Costa Rica had a LOT to do with that. Blessings, my friends! Please know that I am ok and remain sober....BY CHOICE. I LOVE IT! So, even if I am not around, I am thinking of you all....and I AM NOT DRINKING.
Skimmed through a lot of the posts.....Jeff....way to go! Hang in there, you are doing great! Cyndi, really very sorry for your loss. I lost both of my parents years ago....it is never easy...whether you said what you had hoped to say or did not have the opportunity. For me, it was one of each....but, I forgive myself and I forgive them.....that is what keeps me sane as of this very minute. On my mother's headstone it reads "Life is an adventure". That is what she wanted it to say....As for me...ALL KINDS OF NEWS.....new lawyer is moving forward against University, Tenant is moving....we will be flying to CA again (together!) on Sunday (I think)...AND WE HAVE THE CAR I BOUGHT THERE.....and....WE BOUGHT A NEW CAR HERE....AND, I BOUGHT A CAR FOR MY (addict) daughter....WHO IS DOING GREAT.....and.....ALL OF THEM ARE PAID IN FULL!!!! Finally, I just upgraded to a PLATINUM American Express today, that I have been avoiding for YEARS, due to the annual fee, but NOW, I will get 50,000 MILES!!!! DD...in terms of housing (and cars and EVERYTHING), I know that as I get older, it is not impt. where I live, what I drive, what I wear, etc. I AM WHO I AM. I no longer WANT big house or need a brand new corvette, or any of that stuff....it is all just "stuff" to me now. I think that moving to Costa Rica had a LOT to do with that. Blessings, my friends! Please know that I am ok and remain sober....BY CHOICE. I LOVE IT! So, even if I am not around, I am thinking of you all....and I AM NOT DRINKING.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
Took my 5 yr old swimming at the lake after school today. My 1 day off has been a blessing. Next 2 days at work will be 15-16 hrs of h---. I'll be catch my boy jumping off the dock to me, in my mind, the whole next 2 days. Hope y'all have good days tomorrow !
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
Hi, Tobers. Just dropping in. Nothing new to report. Last weekend before school starts on Monday and we take my son to college on Thursday. I felt a little under the weather on Friday and I got to remembering how bad my hangovers had gotten to be ~ the all day flu feeling. I can't believe I imposed that on myself and again and again. Talk about insanity!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
Well, work got cancelled today, so I lost a days pay. On the other hand I got to spend the first Saturday in 12 weekends, with my family. To think I've missed time with them by being drunk. Never again ! Happy weekend Tobers-
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