Class of October 2013 - Part 12
 

continues from here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-11-a-20.html

D

Well, not sure that it really mattered....lol....Costa Rica lost by one point....and, it was a Saturday anyway, but, then....not a real sports fan either.....:lol: Finishing packing...heading for LA tomorrow....internet has been out for 2 days, so had to make international calls to confirm shuttle and rental car....*sigh*....Just have no idea what I will be "walking into"......Pura Vida!

Hi all! Quick note to say all is well. I'll post details of the camping trip in a couple of days.

I heard from Reflection and she is doing well. That was great to learn!

Hi, guys. I am back from my parents' home. It was a nice weekend. My mom really was on her best behavior _ I wish she would do the same for herself what she does to keep herself "in line" in front of us. I sometimes wish alcoholics weren't so good at "hiding" their problem. It makes me feel like a crazy over-reactor during the times she seems so normal. I really think she does a lot of "sneak drinking" during the day just to keep in a normal state, because when she goes to dinner and has only two glasses of wine, it is amazing how quickly she gets buzzed.

Glad you made it back DD....and WD.....off today to LA...goodness only knows what awaits. Internet here has been screwed up for days.....NO ONE at the internet office will listen to me....even though I DO really know what is going on with computers...ugh! Anyway, as long as it works long enough for me to leave.....lol.....I will catch up with you guys in a few days.....all the best!

Safe travels Trudging!

DD .. happy to hear that the weekend went well!

As I mentioned, I survived the camping weekend. The weather was fabulous. The trip consists of three families. The most awkward moment was the first evening when the adults were having fun doing shots. I wasn't really tempted, but it felt strange to be the oddball who couldn't take part in the game.

I've felt this before when I've had to be strong and resist alcohol. When the "event" is over, I feel a stronger than normal pull to drink. I think my resistance gets worn down and when the storm is over and it's quiet ... that's when I am tempted. I felt this yesterday a couple of times. All is well though as I stood strong.

Quote of the Day ...
Have a great day, Tobers!

Rock on, WD! I had a weird craving, moment of weakness, the other day. My sis bought some Bud Light limes and I used to love those in the summer. They are still in my garage fridge. I need to dump those out as she does not live here and has gone back home. I know I won't drink them but it makes me really homesick for the buzz. I see them at random times and I have been more tempted since she left than the few nights she was here and partaking. Just didn't bother me then!

Good luck on your trip Trudging!

DD - any chance she could be popping pills too? I noticed the quick inebriation when my aunt began her downward spiral. She always drank too much but sh&t got really bad once she landed a prescription for Xanax. She is a totally different person now. Lost everything. Kid, corporate job, home, husband...all of it...gone. She is a mean, hateful woman now too who is stuck in the past. So much anger. It has been really sad to watch the decline over the last decade or so.

JL - the evenings. The witching hours! Do you read? I read a lot of books in the beginning just to get my mind off things. Go on walks? Anything you can do to keep yourself busy will help...my house used to be clean all the time! LOL

Billr - where are you on drinking? Abstaining? It's been a few days since I checked in so forgive me if you already posted on this!! Hope all is well!

Evenings are the hardest, but I make sure to eat. That'll mess up any chance of me hoping to get a buzz from any drink should it occur. Hoping to paddle a river tomorrow but worst case I'll be home on the treadmill. Sticking hard to inspirational apps on my phone and a few sermons that I get a good clear message from. I did maul about 5 chocolate chips ahoy cookies tonight. Weird cause I'm not a sweets eater. Whatever it takes I guess.

Hi all, well it is 2:33am, CA time...a couple of delays, but made it to the hotel with no problem. Rental car tomorrow. Weird thing happened though...trying to dial the shuttle service at LAX and somehow dialed youngest daughter's number! It was like midnight/12:30....I hung up as soon as I realized what had happened. She called back and when she found out I was at the airport, she told me to cancel the shuttle and she would come and get me!!! I said no....I cannot get a refund on the shuttle, and said, "Sorry to bother you so late, it was a mistake." THEN, she asked me to call her when I got to the hotel and that she would come to SEE ME! Well, I didn't ask why, but I called and she is apparently coming over!!! I TRULY have no idea WHY, but the last message I got from her....just a few days ago, basically told me to f**k off.....sooooo, all I can say is DRUGS!!! I am dead, but gotta wait this out.....will keep ya posted in a couple of days.....and the hits just keep on comin'.......

Cynderino ... Get rid of that beer if it's a temptation! That said, I have an odd collection of beer and wine all leftover from having people over at various times. Zero temptation so I let it sit.

P.S. - I think you have the coolest avatar of the group. Although I'm a bit intimidated by that pistol-thingie.

JL ... Early on, for me, changing patterns was key. Often, the need to have a drink was more psychological than physical IMO.

Paddling a river sounds awesome. I wish I could do more of that type of thing.

I too have a huge sugar craving that was not there pre-sobriety. From what I read, that is normal. It's gotten to the point, however, that I need to push the ice cream bowl away!

I hope you're finding support through your church group. Such communities can offer terrific support or they can, sadly, be less than supportive.

Trudging ... You have been so busy. I feel like I need a break after reading your post! Keep fighting the good fight. I hope things go okay with your daughter.

Today's Quote of the Day:
Carry on, Tobers.

I love your quotes, Whodey. Thank you! Trudging, active addicts are masters of the m#ndf#ck. I go through it with my mom all of the time. Detachment and no expectations have become my mantra.

Cyndi, I thought about pills with my mom, but ironically she has always been kind of afraid of any kind of pill. I am thinking her liver isn't as productive or she is sneaking drinks. But again, detachment, right?!?

Trudging, hoping seeing your daughter goes good !
Thanks whodey,

JL
Paddling a river! Now that's not something I've considered much, but I bet it would be mind-cleansing. I may have to think about it . . . but then I'd have to get a boat of some kind. That probably won't happen soon (just had to spend $800 on a radiator job).:c004:
Fishy

Good morning all. I hope everyone is doing well today.

On the way into work today, I was listening to ESPN's "Mike & Mike in the Morning" show and they had an interesting discussion regarding the Cleveland Browns' wide receiver Josh Gordon who was recently arrested for DWI. This follows a long list of previous instances of substance abuse. They had Cris Carter, Michael Irvin, and Tyrann Mathieu on the show ... all football players who had their own history of substance abuse. It was interesting listening to their take on what Josh Gordon needed to get clean.

While they differed on some aspects (should the Browns keep or release him for example) they all agreed that he wouldn't get better until he wanted to get better. No number of well-meaning people talking to him would help. He had to hit his rock bottom. They all said they didn't start the climb out of addiction until they finally accepted that they were addicts. Healing followed acceptance.

As the pace of participation in the October Class has expectedly fallen off, I have to scroll through a relatively long list of other Classes in searching for this one. I usually do this without any thought, but this morning it struck me that each of the Classes that I pass over is full of people like us who are working their recovery. I will never know all of those people and their individual stories, but I'm moved by their numbers and the fact that we share a common bond. Addiction respects no person. Fame, fortune, education, privilige, age, gender ... it knows no bounds. I'm both humbled and strengthened by that realization.

Today's quote:
Carry on, Tobers.

GREAT quote WD....needed that....well, things went GREAT with my daughter....Step mom.....that's another story. I am here, at her house....TALK ABOUT DENIAL??????? She FORBID me from even MENTIONING his OD, hospitalization, NA, residential care, ANYTHING. Just sweep it under the rug. The place is a WRECK. Even with the daily help, ugh! HE IS A PIG. Eats, never moves, leaves dirty dishes, trash where he sits. Mom can't walk, so uses a motorized scooter...so, guess what? HE GOT ONE TOO! So, either he is watching TV, lying on the couch ALL DAY, OR, he uses the scooter to go outside to smoke cigs, and goodness knows what else is going on....I DO NOT BELONG HERE. She initially said, "Come now....I will help you in any way I can". NOW, when I told her, yesterday that I had to turn my rental car in today, here, in the city in which she lives, she got angry and said, 'I TOLD you that there would not be a car for you to drive". SO.....good news. you ask?:hitwithro Lawyer ready to file suit....I think that rather than pay the change fee for the flight, I will keep the car and drive to my sisters, where I can stay in peace and quiet and get some work done; possibly may go to law firm. AND tenant was served on the 3rd....AND, i ALREADY have a forwarding address.....scan, forward, etc. etc....thank goodness I had the foresight to do that BEFORE I drove ALL THE WAY OUT HERE!!!! (Almost a 3 hour drive, one way).:gaah

Trudging, glad seeing your daughter went well !
Having hard day- day 27. Keep having weird bouts of exhaustion. Tired of feeling tired !

JL, I remember being exhausted the first month and a half of sobriety. I think our bodies are healing from the wrath we put them through for years and years. I remember being angry at my body for being so tired when I was finally "doing it right." Just like an alcoholic, right?? I need instant gratification. HA! I am so proud of you! This is a long time of sobriety for you, right? Almost a month!! You rock!!

Trudging, your life is NOT boring. :)

Whodey, ain't it the truth about the addict having to admit that they have a problem?? Sadly, I think it is just in the last month or so that I am truly, truly admitting to myself that I am every bit the alcoholic that my mother is, she is just a little further down that elevator chute and by the grace of God, I have gotten off of the elevator. I hope never to take the trip again.

Did any of you have the foggy, tired, days when stopping drinking after yrs of it?

Thank you DD. Think I'm off the elevator"down" as well. I'm down on myself for being so so fat from taking the depression medication, but hopefully I can get a little energy back to get a regular cardio program going again. I have to get up now at about 330 am for the ambulance job but it's usually just 4 days a week. Gotta start Treadmilling in the evenings I guess. I know I'm doing the right thing fighting, and all of you have already done this. That gives me hope.

I haven't really told a "group" of ppl at my church, that I'm in recovery, but one or 2 trusted friends know. Basically I just don't want to embarrass my wife socially, until I've been sober and comfortable enough with it to help others if they need an ear or an empathetic person who's "been there", to talk to.
I'm very much NOT at that point. I'm still in a haze of everything seeming strange or off somehow. Man alcohol warps EVERYTHING about a person.
Duh, right?