Class of April 2014 Part 13
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
Apple- you def should, I saw one on my way up to MAss for that concert a few weeks ago and when I saw the deal online I had to do it...the kids would def love it cause I'm a big kid still and can't wait 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
Originally Posted by Lucrezia 
ST - I am so so so glad to hear all this!! Keep it up... I'm really proud. DD - I know you can do it. You can stay clean. It's a tough journey though, isn't it? I think if you find the reasons why you drink, then maybe you can be better able to find other ways to accomplish those things you want... if that makes sense?? That's what I'm trying to do. So at around 4:40am I checked my bank account and I have money. A lot of money, for once. (Well, a lot to ME, haha....and I haven't paid bills yet) but anyway, later when I went to bed (when the sun was coming up - I am vampire, mwuahaha) I was suddenly struck with cravings. With thoughts. It's been 6 days, and the little beast is rearing it's head already! Well, I should say the giant beast is rearing it's head a little bit....that's more like it. You know, "I can drink, you know...there is no one actually stopping me....tomorrow I can have a few ciders and relax like everyone else!! Or, if I get drunk, it won't be as bad as usual...." all of those same thoughts. I try to remind myself of possible heart problems, maybe choking in the middle of the night while passed out and dying, all the damage I am doing to myself, how the cravings will only get worse and worse... but yet, still it sometimes seems worth it. I know it must be a trap. But still. On one level, I do feel a bit different still. I still am trying to stay more in my centre. I think my blood sugar is dipping, though... it has been 3 1/2 days going off sugar and things, and that's usually when the cravings appear. So maybe my brain is translating that into alcohol too. Most likely. Hm, that strangely helps a lot. Because I know it's just my body doing it's thing. And hopefully if I feed it right (and feed my mind right, and my soul right) then I will be ok. Ok anyway. That's all for now.
seriously it means a lot to hear on an up day ya know? Thanks a million
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
Originally Posted by freein14
ST, it's great to hear you pull yourself up. It's hard, but you're moving forward, so I hope you can feel good about that. The skateboarding and trampoline sound like a recipe for adrenaline! Hope you both have a fun time.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
Originally Posted by freein14
ST, it's great to hear you pull yourself up. It's hard, but you're moving forward, so I hope you can feel good about that. The skateboarding and trampoline sound like a recipe for adrenaline! Hope you both have a fun time.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: AZ
Posts: 99
Originally Posted by SolitaryThinker
Well my day is going well, but not cause of any other reason other then I'm making it that way...I'm so so sick of feeling sad and sorry for myself...still no word from the mental health clinic I'm patiently waiting by my cell and land line...I did work out other medical stuff tho, my blood work was shockingly fine but I have high blood pressure, which is crazy cause I'm 152 lbs and 5-10, that means nothing but stress...stress and me going crazy lol...that's something I can control actually which is good, I just have even more of a reason to find some peace in my life...I also needed to see an ear, nose, throat cause of my sinuses, my right ear is perforated and I wanna stop screaming at people haha, so I'm gonna get something to help me hear better, I'm sure the years of live music did not help either....I'm dealing with getting the faxes sent over cause my doctor does everything electronically and the ENT place dosent accept anything but faxes 8/...sorry to say but I think fax machines are on their way out the door...I also have an appointment for a full check up and more blood work at the place I started...so the only piece missing is the one I need the most, but I'm not discouraged...I just wanna live a better life that's all...I vented to my best guy friend earlier about some stuff and we went skateboarding before he had work, I sweated my butt off and it felt good, I'm glad I was finally able to pull myself out of it and just do it...I was browsing groupon online and I bought two passes to one of the adult bounce places, like the gymnastics kinda place, I can do like double back flips and front flips effortlessly, I'm really looking forward to this actually...me and my love are gonna have a light dinner and go over there tonight....I'm not fine, but I'm so so glad I pulled myself out of that dark place and can just live today, like so thankful....i hate that place...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: AZ
Posts: 99
Originally Posted by Adnamaeel
Kitten, I am so glad to see you back here. You've been in my thoughts. Congratulations on 80 days, that's a big accomplishment, and I'm proud of you. I'm sorry things are so hard for you now, it seems like it takes a while for our brain chemicals to level out, but I really think they eventually will.
Diva, today is a new day, and the direction you take is yours to choose. I hope you take that motivation and empowerment and run with it.
Mariah, what you said about going past our fear and uncertainty really struck me this morning. Those are very wise words.
Beautiful photo Applekat, I hope it was a great hike.
Izzy, I love all of the movies you posted,
Solitary, I'm glad you got some good sleep, and are getting yourself moving early today.
Freein, I have a list for today, too, and I'd really like to put it all off, but I'm going to jump right in instead, thanks for your example.
Panacea, you deserved an easier day yesterday, and I'm always impressed about your running.
Present, I hope it's an ok week at work, and that no one goes through your stuff.
Obosob, I hope camping out in your new house has been a good experience for you and your wife so far. It must feel great to be home.
Up, as always, thanks for your inspiring posts.
Lucrezia, it's good to see you doing better, take your magnesium, and keep it up.
Topspin, thank you for always being an inspiration and making me smile. You're pretty cool for an old dude.
ChickChick, Rocks, Kelly, I hope you are all still lurking and that you come back at some point. Once a fool, always a fool, any you are all missed.
As for me, I have a mountain of work in front of me, and am doing my best not to stress about some difficult logistical stuff I have to deal with at the end of the week. Stressing about it now, or at all, won't make one bit of difference in how things play out, I just have to hope for the best, and do what I can. I'm trying to approach my mountain of work one step at a time, instead of trying to figure out how I'll get it all done. I may not get it all done, and that will have to be ok. It's been 90 days for me today, and I'm feeling really good about that. It feels much more significant than completing my work goals right now.
I hope today is the start of a wonderful week for everyone.
Diva, today is a new day, and the direction you take is yours to choose. I hope you take that motivation and empowerment and run with it.
Mariah, what you said about going past our fear and uncertainty really struck me this morning. Those are very wise words.
Beautiful photo Applekat, I hope it was a great hike.
Izzy, I love all of the movies you posted,
Solitary, I'm glad you got some good sleep, and are getting yourself moving early today.
Freein, I have a list for today, too, and I'd really like to put it all off, but I'm going to jump right in instead, thanks for your example.
Panacea, you deserved an easier day yesterday, and I'm always impressed about your running.
Present, I hope it's an ok week at work, and that no one goes through your stuff.
Obosob, I hope camping out in your new house has been a good experience for you and your wife so far. It must feel great to be home.
Up, as always, thanks for your inspiring posts.
Lucrezia, it's good to see you doing better, take your magnesium, and keep it up.
Topspin, thank you for always being an inspiration and making me smile. You're pretty cool for an old dude.
ChickChick, Rocks, Kelly, I hope you are all still lurking and that you come back at some point. Once a fool, always a fool, any you are all missed.
As for me, I have a mountain of work in front of me, and am doing my best not to stress about some difficult logistical stuff I have to deal with at the end of the week. Stressing about it now, or at all, won't make one bit of difference in how things play out, I just have to hope for the best, and do what I can. I'm trying to approach my mountain of work one step at a time, instead of trying to figure out how I'll get it all done. I may not get it all done, and that will have to be ok. It's been 90 days for me today, and I'm feeling really good about that. It feels much more significant than completing my work goals right now.
I hope today is the start of a wonderful week for everyone.
And I want to thank you for always being so thoughtful in your posts. You are a sweetheart
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: SE USA
Posts: 941
ST- glad you are digging your self out of the hole or better yet, skateboarding yourself out of one (much more efficient, I would imagine).
Adna - congratulations on 90 days! Woop-woop!
Luc - my AV has been very quiet until last week when it actually said to me, "You should have a beer for breakfast!" It was 7 AM in the morning and I graciously declined. Crazy stuff.
Kat - I love "Something Gotta Give" - Mostly I love the kitchen in it and Keanu Reaves, of course. Have you seen that one?
Love to all of my other Sober Fools, Wishing you well this evening!
Kitten - good to hear from you again! I am sorry you have been down!
Wishing you peace tonight!
I had a super frustrating day at work and I am going to try and use that bad energy tonight and turn it into something good.
xoxo Pan
Adna - congratulations on 90 days! Woop-woop!
Luc - my AV has been very quiet until last week when it actually said to me, "You should have a beer for breakfast!" It was 7 AM in the morning and I graciously declined. Crazy stuff.
Kat - I love "Something Gotta Give" - Mostly I love the kitchen in it and Keanu Reaves, of course. Have you seen that one?
Love to all of my other Sober Fools, Wishing you well this evening!
Kitten - good to hear from you again! I am sorry you have been down!
Wishing you peace tonight!I had a super frustrating day at work and I am going to try and use that bad energy tonight and turn it into something good.
xoxo Pan
Blood Countess
Join Date: May 2014
Location: A castle
Posts: 340
Oh oh! I just read a quote I like~
"A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken a new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided.” — Tony Robbins
Makes sense.
Pan - yeah AV can be like a sly, manipulative and abusive person BUT - BUT BUT BUT sometimes it's just like a tiny little immature child. Letting it dictate your life is quite the ridiculous idea. I can just imagine it jumping around on the furniture, "beer for breakfast, wine for lunch... hey hey...let's go get smashed, wooopeeee! let's stay up allllll night! No responsibilities! You know, I really could have a drink if I wanted to!" and then you, the adult, are like "Um....no, actually you couldn't - I make the decisions around here" lol "and it's your bedtime"
kitten and adna - 80 and 90 days?!?!? Awesome!!
"A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken a new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided.” — Tony Robbins
Makes sense.
Pan - yeah AV can be like a sly, manipulative and abusive person BUT - BUT BUT BUT sometimes it's just like a tiny little immature child. Letting it dictate your life is quite the ridiculous idea. I can just imagine it jumping around on the furniture, "beer for breakfast, wine for lunch... hey hey...let's go get smashed, wooopeeee! let's stay up allllll night! No responsibilities! You know, I really could have a drink if I wanted to!" and then you, the adult, are like "Um....no, actually you couldn't - I make the decisions around here" lol "and it's your bedtime"
kitten and adna - 80 and 90 days?!?!? Awesome!!
Blood Countess
Join Date: May 2014
Location: A castle
Posts: 340
I have been worried past couple hours, and wondering if I should just order some gluten free pizza and things, to try and lessen my chances of wanting to just drink.
Although I did eat a banana to try and raise my sugar. But then just now, I gulped down some coffee, and.....I feel better already. Wow. This is messed up. Oh well!! Caffeine is still a friendlier drug than alcohol! And sugar and junk!! I still don't know about the pizza....it is a huge obsession of mine. Past and still kind of present. Though making it gluten free cuts the risk of binging a bit, which is good. I haven't had wheat pizza since 2012. But still... I shouldn't be repeating old patterns. But then, it is like...instead of drinking.
So to lessen my chances of drinking, I eat these foods. But when I eat these foods, it does instill a small craving for drinking in me... and round and round it goes. I have to eventually go off these foods too, but not at the expense of drinking. But eating them keeps the addiction of drinking alive a tiny bit. And it keeps the ED alive a bit. And at risk for it getting worse. But at first cutting out these foods makes me crave drinking even more, and then that could get worse. So................... what. I'll figure it out I guess.
It's kind of like holiday times here. Plus everyone's all into football (me too!) and so it's just really hard not to drink, partly because of the party and relaxation atmosphere in the air I suppose.
Anyway. I watched Leaving Las Vegas last night. I didn't really like it.... except the parts where he's drinking (the whole movie? haha. No but, the interesting parts) captured my attention. The rest bored me. I don't know why....tonight I'm watching When A Man Loves A Woman. Maybe some other movies, like something about a fire (what we lost in the fire?)....and something about permanent midnight.... heh. I also might watch episode two of True Blood. Not too happy with last season or where things had been going (and such lack of lesbianism!! Boo!!) but, I will watch this last season and then it's over anyway.
So. I probably should be posting all this in my journal so I'm sorry. I just needed to type out things. You can ignore this is you want.
Although I did eat a banana to try and raise my sugar. But then just now, I gulped down some coffee, and.....I feel better already. Wow. This is messed up. Oh well!! Caffeine is still a friendlier drug than alcohol! And sugar and junk!! I still don't know about the pizza....it is a huge obsession of mine. Past and still kind of present. Though making it gluten free cuts the risk of binging a bit, which is good. I haven't had wheat pizza since 2012. But still... I shouldn't be repeating old patterns. But then, it is like...instead of drinking.
So to lessen my chances of drinking, I eat these foods. But when I eat these foods, it does instill a small craving for drinking in me... and round and round it goes. I have to eventually go off these foods too, but not at the expense of drinking. But eating them keeps the addiction of drinking alive a tiny bit. And it keeps the ED alive a bit. And at risk for it getting worse. But at first cutting out these foods makes me crave drinking even more, and then that could get worse. So................... what. I'll figure it out I guess.
It's kind of like holiday times here. Plus everyone's all into football (me too!) and so it's just really hard not to drink, partly because of the party and relaxation atmosphere in the air I suppose.
Anyway. I watched Leaving Las Vegas last night. I didn't really like it.... except the parts where he's drinking (the whole movie? haha. No but, the interesting parts) captured my attention. The rest bored me. I don't know why....tonight I'm watching When A Man Loves A Woman. Maybe some other movies, like something about a fire (what we lost in the fire?)....and something about permanent midnight.... heh. I also might watch episode two of True Blood. Not too happy with last season or where things had been going (and such lack of lesbianism!! Boo!!) but, I will watch this last season and then it's over anyway.
So. I probably should be posting all this in my journal so I'm sorry. I just needed to type out things. You can ignore this is you want.
Blood Countess
Join Date: May 2014
Location: A castle
Posts: 340
Haha!
Yes flight was amazing.
Especially..... mini fridge. I don't know how to say it without ruining things.
Ok so I ordered pizza.... this gluten free stuff is expensive. Though alcohol is expensive too. However, I think I could get drunk twice instead of eating this (which really is enough for two meals atleast)... but the thing is, sometimes while drinking I would order all this anyway. I still find I am saving money. Aaaahhhh.... I think I made an ok choice. Hopefully I can go back to whole foods after this junk. That's my fear now - that I won't. But.... we shall see.
I shall try to centre myself again. And start watching previously stated movie!
Yes flight was amazing.
Especially..... mini fridge. I don't know how to say it without ruining things.
Ok so I ordered pizza.... this gluten free stuff is expensive. Though alcohol is expensive too. However, I think I could get drunk twice instead of eating this (which really is enough for two meals atleast)... but the thing is, sometimes while drinking I would order all this anyway. I still find I am saving money. Aaaahhhh.... I think I made an ok choice. Hopefully I can go back to whole foods after this junk. That's my fear now - that I won't. But.... we shall see.
I shall try to centre myself again. And start watching previously stated movie!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 556
Hi fools- I am checking in. I haven't been sober Duh- could you guess? I was awol for a week. Not drinking a lot- just enough to keep be from jumping off a bridge.
I am on overload with my work. Basically shut down physically yesterday...I am 52 y/o and cannot keep this pace up anymore. I cracked.
This is day two. I know alcohol strips me off all energy. I know why I drank, now I just have to figure out a way to find it not an option in the future.
God bless you all. I have some catching up to do.
Duh- could you guess? I was awol for a week. Not drinking a lot- just enough to keep be from jumping off a bridge.I am on overload with my work. Basically shut down physically yesterday...I am 52 y/o and cannot keep this pace up anymore. I cracked.
This is day two. I know alcohol strips me off all energy. I know why I drank, now I just have to figure out a way to find it not an option in the future.
God bless you all. I have some catching up to do.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: SE USA
Posts: 941
Welcome back Stormi! I am sorry work is so stressful (and I can sympathize)!
Luc - Can't you find a way to fix the pizza into something good? Top it with lots of veg and other stuff that floats your boat and feeds your body?
I am going to go for a run on the treadmill. I had a pretty frustrating day and need to turn it around....so, upon the excellent recommendation of a 5 year old - I am downloaded "Let it go". I am going to put it on repeat and run my rear off while singing....(how it that for a mental image?). Crazy...but, I think that channeling a 5 year might be good for my soul right now.
I will check back in a bit...
xo Pan
Luc - Can't you find a way to fix the pizza into something good? Top it with lots of veg and other stuff that floats your boat and feeds your body?
I am going to go for a run on the treadmill. I had a pretty frustrating day and need to turn it around....so, upon the excellent recommendation of a 5 year old - I am downloaded "Let it go". I am going to put it on repeat and run my rear off while singing....(how it that for a mental image?). Crazy...but, I think that channeling a 5 year might be good for my soul right now.
I will check back in a bit...
xo Pan
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
Run Pan Run!! Hope you feel better after, I'm sure you will
Welcome back Stormi...I've been thinking about you & missed you here. So glad you are jumping back in here to get back on track. Several of us doing the same here.
I think that was a great decision Luce & proud of you for not drinking...enjoy that pizza & movie
So glad you are on the up swing ST & sorry if I missed it, but did you MH get back with you?
Hot here today too Kat & supposed to be 103 tomorrow...yuck...used to just LOVE the heat but just being out in it a bit after work, I am not feeling so good.
Going to get to the gym here in a bit & think indoor cardio will have to do tonight.
SO, SO PROUD OF YOU ADNA - 90 DAYS IS FABULOUS
Welcome back Stormi...I've been thinking about you & missed you here. So glad you are jumping back in here to get back on track. Several of us doing the same here.
I think that was a great decision Luce & proud of you for not drinking...enjoy that pizza & movie
So glad you are on the up swing ST & sorry if I missed it, but did you MH get back with you?
Hot here today too Kat & supposed to be 103 tomorrow...yuck...used to just LOVE the heat but just being out in it a bit after work, I am not feeling so good.
Going to get to the gym here in a bit & think indoor cardio will have to do tonight.
SO, SO PROUD OF YOU ADNA - 90 DAYS IS FABULOUS
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
kittenme,...congrats on 80 days , and staying the course through the rough times !
Glad to see everyone returning, ....
Adna, ..congrats on 90 days , that's huge !?!
Stormi, ...glad you are back too ! I was draining myself of energy earlier in the year, ...doing the "it's only a little buzz, ...certainly it can't be that bad " kind of drinking.
I think your description; * I know alcohol strips me off all energy*.... is so accurate for me also.
Pan , ...great choice to work off some of the days angst on the TM. I feel like I could use a workout about now.
My dad called me from the ER Saturday evening as I'd just finished a 30 mile bike ride, ....slurring his words saying he probably had another small stroke. It's been non-stop trips back and forth to Ga. along with starting this work week yesterday.
The good news is, he seems to be recovering pretty good and his speech pattern is almost back to normal. My daughter drove down from Tenn. last night, so I got to spend some time with her at the hospital in Ga. this afternoon before work.
I'm really glad everyone here is so...ooo tenacious. Obo will still have our great cast of characters for the next installment !?! ( Don't know why I was getting worried for a day or two, there )
Luc, ...thanks for the tips on some supplements, ...I think they're doing some good
Mariah, ...thank you for that inspirational post, yesterday ( or the day before ).....
*old dude* got a really bad memory
Semper Strong Bargaining Fools
Glad to see everyone returning, ....
Adna, ..congrats on 90 days , that's huge !?!
Stormi, ...glad you are back too ! I was draining myself of energy earlier in the year, ...doing the "it's only a little buzz, ...certainly it can't be that bad " kind of drinking.
I think your description; * I know alcohol strips me off all energy*.... is so accurate for me also.
Pan , ...great choice to work off some of the days angst on the TM. I feel like I could use a workout about now.
My dad called me from the ER Saturday evening as I'd just finished a 30 mile bike ride, ....slurring his words saying he probably had another small stroke. It's been non-stop trips back and forth to Ga. along with starting this work week yesterday.
The good news is, he seems to be recovering pretty good and his speech pattern is almost back to normal. My daughter drove down from Tenn. last night, so I got to spend some time with her at the hospital in Ga. this afternoon before work.
I'm really glad everyone here is so...ooo tenacious. Obo will still have our great cast of characters for the next installment !?! ( Don't know why I was getting worried for a day or two, there
)Luc, ...thanks for the tips on some supplements, ...I think they're doing some good
Mariah, ...thank you for that inspirational post, yesterday ( or the day before ).....
*old dude* got a really bad memory
Semper Strong Bargaining Fools
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 272
Hi everyone-
Thanks so much for all your support. I feel like one of those windup toys that runs into a wall and keeps banging against it. It must be annoying to witness time after time, but I really appreciate your patience with me. I'm so proud of you Adna and Kitten, but I'm jealous too - I could be celebrating with you if I had kept my act together.
Welcome back Stormi- let's dust ourselves off and get to it, shall we?
Top, sorry to hear about your dad, but glad to hear he's improving. And a 30 mile ride? That's awesome!
Pan and Mariah - WTG on the workouts!
Luc, how was the movie? I think I've come to the conclusion that I have to avoid movies/entertainment that include addiction, it just triggers me too much. Even the horrible stuff makes me feel bizarrely nostalgic. I also have to avoid movies and stuff that don't deal with addiction, but that I watched regularly when drinking - the association is too strong.
So, that pretty much wipes out my whole DVD collection and Netflix queue. Lol!
Have a great night, all.
Thanks so much for all your support. I feel like one of those windup toys that runs into a wall and keeps banging against it. It must be annoying to witness time after time, but I really appreciate your patience with me. I'm so proud of you Adna and Kitten, but I'm jealous too - I could be celebrating with you if I had kept my act together.
Welcome back Stormi- let's dust ourselves off and get to it, shall we?
Top, sorry to hear about your dad, but glad to hear he's improving. And a 30 mile ride? That's awesome!
Pan and Mariah - WTG on the workouts!
Luc, how was the movie? I think I've come to the conclusion that I have to avoid movies/entertainment that include addiction, it just triggers me too much. Even the horrible stuff makes me feel bizarrely nostalgic. I also have to avoid movies and stuff that don't deal with addiction, but that I watched regularly when drinking - the association is too strong.
So, that pretty much wipes out my whole DVD collection and Netflix queue. Lol!
Have a great night, all.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
Hey everyone, thanks also....
I full day of physically exerting myself felt amazing, I wanna do more tomorrow but I'm so sore! Who knew bouncing around could be so much fun! I really think it goes back to the days of a child on your parents bed, on a massively larger scale...i need to keep this physically active stuff going...I actually made friends with some of the people that run the place and I'm gonna be there quite regularly in the future...it really was something that was fun...the snack machines are filled with healthy snacks and organic juices and water, no soda and sweets (other then a Starbucks -_-) I really feel like it's a place I fit in better then your run-of-the-mill gym...I needed a day like today...my fiancé had a blast too and she was really getting some cardio in, which makes me feel good cause I know how miserable her fight against her weight can get...awesomeness all around...plus they play adult bounce dodgeball...no head hunting but other then that anything goes! Man that was a cool place...what a day...the best day off I have had in ages
I full day of physically exerting myself felt amazing, I wanna do more tomorrow but I'm so sore! Who knew bouncing around could be so much fun! I really think it goes back to the days of a child on your parents bed, on a massively larger scale...i need to keep this physically active stuff going...I actually made friends with some of the people that run the place and I'm gonna be there quite regularly in the future...it really was something that was fun...the snack machines are filled with healthy snacks and organic juices and water, no soda and sweets (other then a Starbucks -_-) I really feel like it's a place I fit in better then your run-of-the-mill gym...I needed a day like today...my fiancé had a blast too and she was really getting some cardio in, which makes me feel good cause I know how miserable her fight against her weight can get...awesomeness all around...plus they play adult bounce dodgeball...no head hunting but other then that anything goes! Man that was a cool place...what a day...the best day off I have had in ages
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