workoholic

Great to hear from you guys, fixfishy and 1step, stay safe!
Rochele I hope you're fine despite the bumps. I had a tough situation at work when a senior was unnecessarily mean to me. Had the situation neutralised/disarmed by the boss. It bothers me that if you show that you are kind and socially peaceful there will be those that think that you're weak and take the opportunity to make you miserable. I had her confronted by our boss but didn't put on pressure, rather Í let her save face. I think it was the best course of action. I'll see if things get better

Going to my friends wedding today. Will reach out if things get difficult, bring phone with me.
Have a great weekend

Kaneda8888

Hang in there Workoholic ! Seems like you made a wise decision with your colleague

BLKDIESEL

~~Food For Thought ~ Weekend Edition~~
~~Be True 2 Yourself~ 21 Reasons~~

We’ve all seen people who are always happy – even amidst agonizing life trials. I’m not saying happy people don’t feel grief, sorrow or sadness; they just don’t let it overtake their life.

~The 21~~

1. Appreciate Life
Be thankful that you woke up alive each morning. Develop a childlike sense of wonder towards life. Focus on the beauty of every living thing. Make the most of each day. Don’t take anything for granted. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

2. Choose Friends Wisely
Surround yourself with happy, positive people who share your values and goals. Friends that have the same ethics as you will encourage you to achieve your dreams. They help you to feel good about yourself. They are there to lend a helping hand when needed.

3. Be Considerate
Accept others for who they are as well as where they are in life. Respect them for who they are. Touch them with a kind and generous spirit. Help when you are able, without trying to change the other person. Try to brighten the day of everyone you come into contact with.

4. Learn Continuously
Keep up to date with the latest news regarding your career and hobbies. Try new and daring things that has sparked your interest – such as dancing, skiing, surfing or sky-diving.

5. Creative Problem Solving
Don’t wallow in self-pity. As soon as you face a challenge get busy finding a solution. Don’t let the set backs affect your mood, instead see each new obstacle you face as an opportunity to make a positive change. Learn to trust your gut instincts – it’s almost always right.

6. Do What You Love
Some statistics show that 80% of people dislike their jobs! No wonder there’s so many unhappy people running around. We spend a great deal of our life working. Choose a career that you enjoy – the extra money of a job you detest isn’t worth it. Make time to enjoy your hobbies and pursue special interests.

7. Enjoy Life
Take the time to see the beauty around you. There’s more to life than work. Take time to smell the roses, watch a sunset or sunrise with a loved one, take a walk along the seashore, hike in the woods etc. Learn to live in the present moment and cherish it. Don’t live in the past or the future.

8. Laugh
Don’t take yourself – or life to seriously. You can find humor in just about any situation. Laugh at yourself – no one’s perfect. When appropriate laugh and make light of the circumstances. (Naturally there are times that you should be serious as it would be improper to laugh.)

9. Forgive
Holding a grudge will hurt no one but you. Forgive others for your own peace of mind. When you make a mistake – own up to it – learn from it – and FORGIVE yourself.

10. Be Grateful
Develop an attitude of gratitude. Count your blessings; All of them – even the things that seem trivial. Be grateful for your home, your work and most importantly your family and friends. Take the time to tell them that you are happy they are in your life.

11. Invest in Relationships
Always make sure your loved ones know you love them even in times of conflict. Nurture and grow your relationships with your family and friends by making the time to spend with them. Don’t break your promises to them. Be supportive.

12. Keep Your Word
Honesty is the best policy. Every action and decision you make should be based on honesty. Be honest with yourself and with your loved ones.

13. Meditate
Meditation gives your very active brain a rest. When it’s rested you will have more energy and function at a higher level. Types of meditation include yoga, hypnosis, relaxation tapes, affirmations, visualization or just sitting in complete silence. Find something you enjoy and make the time to practice daily.

14. Mind Your Own Business
Concentrate on creating your life the way you want it. Take care of you and your family. Don’t get overly concerned with what other people are doing or saying. Don’t get caught up with gossip or name calling. Don’t judge. Everyone has a right to live their own life the way they want to – including you.

15. Be Optimistic
See the glass as half full. Find the positive side of any given situation. It’s there – even though it may be hard to find. Know that everything happens for a reason, even though you may never know what the reason is. Steer clear of negative thoughts. If a negative thought creeps in – replace it with a positive thought.

16. Love Unconditionally
Accept others for who they are. You don’t put limitations on your love. Even though you may not always like the actions of your loved ones – you continue to love them.

17. Be Persistent
Never give up. Face each new challenge with the attitude that it will bring you one step closer to your goal. You will never fail, as long as you never give up. Focus on what you want, learn the required skills, make a plan to succeed and take action. We are always happiest while pursuing something of value to us.

18. Be Proactive
Accept what can not be changed. Happy people don’t waste energy on circumstances beyond their control. Accept your limitations as a human being. Determine how you can take control by creating the outcome you desire – rather than waiting to respond.

19. Self Care
Take care of your mind, body and health. Get regular medical check ups. Eat healthy and work out. Get plenty of rest. Drink lots of water. Exercise your mind by continually energizing it with interesting and exciting challenges.

20. Self Confidence
Don’t try to be someone that you’re not. After all no one likes a phony. Determine who you are in the inside – your own personal likes and dislikes. Be confident in who you are. Do the best you can and don’t second guess yourself.

21. Take Responsibility
Happy people know and understand that they are 100% responsible for their life. They take responsibility for their moods, attitude, thoughts, feelings, actions and words. They are the first to admit when they’ve made a mistake.
Begin today by taking responsibility for your happiness. Work on developing these habits as you own. The more you incorporate the above habits into your daily lifestyle – the happier you will be.

~Most of all: BE TRUE TO YOURSELF~

Kaneda8888

Blkdiesel

Today's saying is quite Buddhist like

PeanutButterCup

We just got home from a few days up north. We go there every summer, but this was my first time alcohol-free - and I did it! I didn't have any moments that I'd define as "craving", but the thought of a drink did cross my mind many times. Dh and his dad had beer in a cooler, and it was my first time having alcohol within proximity during the night. But I was fine. I didn't want to mess up all the progress I've made and have to start over ... it's HARD starting over and I NEVER want to do it again. And it wouldn't have made anything any better ... it just would have made me forget it, feel like crap, and probably say something to my father-in-law that I'd regret.

And, tomorrow will be my day 300. That's so cool!

I have an all-day training tomorrow, a bunch of writing to do, and then a tv appearance on Tuesday, along with my regular stuff. Back to reality!

Renarde

I have cared for so many alcoholic patients in withdrawal over this last rotation. I was telling Grace that it's just unbelievable how I keep "randomly" getting end of the line patients in SEVERE alcohol withdrawal assigned to me when my fellow students are not. I really don't have the words to describe what this is like. I am just glad I'm getting out of this alive. Thinking of everyone...keep fighting!

workoholic

It's unsettling to meet alcoholics who are losing the fight. I made it through the wedding without alcohol. Had a glass of non alcoholic wine for the ceremonial toasting and sparkling water. Some ecologic Cola softdrink after dancing. I may not be the one who laughed the most but I remember every occasion

workoholic

And I had av good time and look forward to other weddings of my friends

BLKDIESEL

Yes Kane, there is a hint of Buddhist enlightenment in there, the most important thing is to implement just one thing into our journey. A great man once said, "knowing is not enough...we must be willing to do" (Bruce Lee) Njoy the rest of the wknd Kane.

BLKDIESEL

Very proud of how you are dealing with your challenges PBC, shows the growth and courage you have amassed thus far...and more importantly congratulations early on 300 days

PeanutButterCup

How was everyone's weekend?

Kaneda8888

Hey PBC

I had a fairly normal weekend. Saturday was errands and stuff before heading off to an AA meeting. Its cold here and I had to really motivate myself to go. The meeting is in a big hall and it was still cold inside ! But meetings are usually worthwhile and though it was the 12th step discussion, I still felt some benefit. Then on Sunday I had to attend a drink driving ed class. Not exciting but I need to go to claim back my licence. Some really horrible stories came from that class. Indeed I am grateful that I didn't harm anyone or damage anything when I got my DUI. The driving laws here are really draconian as I am required to have a .00 BAC for the next 3 years and effectively,for the next 10 years, if I am in an accident and have a BAC more than .00, I will be liable for damages which is not insurable irrespective of who is at fault. So, very very tough. But, at least it spurs on my sobriety. Then saw the latest Planet of the Apes movie. Meh...I wish it was warmer !!!

Nightswimming

Hey PBC,

I had a really good weekend thanks. Met my Aunt for coffee and cake on Friday afternoon and then walked up to meet the OH for a drink (beer for him, fresh orange and lemonade for me). It was an almost Mediterranean mid 70s in Glasgow on Friday so enjoyed walking around in the sunshine. Spent the evening at home watching the track and field which was taking place at the newly revamped stadium for the Commonwealth Games. I really should have been there seeing as it was only 5 miles down the road!

I had a lie in on Saturday then went to watch some roller derby with friends. There's a big scene taking off in Glasgow right now and some of the girls were over ruffling some feathers in Fort Wayne, IN a couple of months ago. It's always fun to watch and my friend is getting ready to join a team so can't wait until we're cheering her on. I then left them to go to the pub and I went and met another friend for coffee. She is a friend I met through work and had found out i was unwell so wanted to catch up. Had a good catch up with her and she is keen to meet up more often so think I've got a new friend which is always nice!!

Sunday was long run day. I was still feeling like I had energy in my legs at 16k so I crazily went on and ran a half marathon. Still feeling the pain today but was rewarded with a PB by over 7 mins so was really chuffed with that. Me and the OH have signed up for the Edinburgh marathon next May so will just need to keep getting my Forrest Gump on.

So I was sitting here thinking about how I'm not doing anything and feeling rubbish and actually realised that was a big weekend and it was all done without any booze and was the better for it. Who would have thought?! Still struggling to just 'be' on weekdays when I feel like I should be at work but will keep trying.

Nightswimming

Hey Kane, drink driving laws sound even tougher over there than they are here but I guess it's motivation for the sobriety as you say. Out of interest how cold is cold?! Probably still warmer than the average summer's day here it's always hard to get the motivation to do stuff outside of the house in the winter but sounds like you're doing it anyway. Trying to get myself some motivation to do something new this week (maybe yoga or meditation) but keep postponing by doing other things. Time to try and face the avoidance head on I think!

Kaneda8888

Hey NS

You ran a half marathon just for the heck of it ?!? Wow, that's impressive. I did a half marathon race last year but with at least 3 months of prep. It took a few days before I could walk normally after that. For me, running is the best way to clear my mind of any stress or negative emotions. I often describe it as a way of scrubbing my mind. In fact, I had a really good session today where I felt like I had springs in my legs and simply cruised through the sets. I was feeling a bit annoyed before I left the house but all such thoughts vanished within 5 minutes of the run. Do you find that with running (or any high intensity activity) ?

Well, its not really that cold, about 13C. I've lived in cities where it is genuinely freezing (like -15C at night) so I know what cold is. Nevertheless, when all you are wearing is a t-shirt and shorts, 13C is cold enough

Great that you've made a new friend ! Keep going NS, you're doing great !

GotGrace

Hello All,
Just checking in quickly before the day begins in earnest. Hard to believe summer is half gone. Half remains! Yes, optimistic is better!
All is well here. Things have calmed down. Dad hasn't fallen recently and is doing PT again to strengthen his legs. Daughter is figuring out this Type I Diabetes thing. It can be mighty frustrating, but we aren't as shaken up by it and that is a relief. Dog is still alive and seems ok. We have finally told all the kids. It was not fun, especially telling our 11 y.o. who is our animal lover, but it is good to have the truth out there. Now we just need to keep him comfy till he decides to go to that great dog park in the sky.
Temptation has been minor lately. I continue to have the passing thought around 5 pm, but once I eat dinner I am ok. I suppose that will be a lifelong thing and that is ok since I know what it is, it no longer surprises me.
I have been reading, just not posting. I hope all our silent classmates will check in soon. LG, Brooksie, Rochele, how are you ladies doing?
Love to all.

BLKDIESEL

~Food For Thought ~ Thoughtful Tuesday Edition~
~The Thing About Negative Thinking~

I've never had someone come up to me and say, "I'm always negative and it's working out great for me. I can't wait to get up in the morning!" And yet, positive thinking still has its skeptics.

Some people tell me that positive thinking doesn't work or that it's "unrealistic," especially in today's turbulent world.

"Look around you," they say. "How can you be so positive?" Well, let me ask you this: can the world be lifted out of negativity by adding MORE negativity?

The truth is, there are certain things that negative thinking will do for you. It will make you sick. It will make you very unpleasant to be around. And, it will significantly limit what you can achieve.

Let's take a closer look at why negative thinking doesn't serve us. For starters, we all operate under the Law of Dominant Thought. Simply stated, we're always moving in the direction of our dominant thoughts.

Most of us have heard about the "self-fulfilling prophecy"--that we get what we expect in life. Expect negative results and, sure enough, you'll produce negative results.

As I'm sure you've found, negative thinking also causes you to feel more stress and to have less energy. Scientific studies have demonstrated that negativity weakens your immune system. How many times have you gotten sick during a stressful period in your life?

If you're still not convinced about the effects of being negative, take out a sheet of paper and write down your list of all the benefits you're getting from negative thinking. I think your list is going to be very short, if you come up with anything at all.

Let me make an important distinction here. It's quite natural for a person to feel sad in response to a tragedy or the death of a loved one. There's a period of loss and grieving that differs for each individual, and we don't expect a grief stricken person to be positive in the short run.

However, even a person in that situation will not be served by holding onto their negative thoughts indefinitely. (By the way, if you've suffered some trauma or have had a difficult time releasing negative thinking, by all means get counseling. That's not a sign of weakness. It's a
constructive step to help you move forward in your life.)

Doing What Comes Naturally

From everything I've observed, babies are naturally positive. They're usually smiling and seem to be enjoying life. I haven't met any negative, frowning babies. That's why I don't buy the argument that negative thinking is just natural.

Those who think negatively do so out of habit. They have conditioned themselves to think that way. In Western societies in particular, we've developed the tendency to focus on minor irritations, even though these annoyances are only a tiny part of our overall lives. We tend to focus on the 5% of our lives that are going "wrong"... instead of the 95% going well.

We'll sigh and tell everyone about the traffic jam or flat tire on the way to work. Yet, we'll never comment about the miracle of our existence--the billions of cells in our body that somehow allow our brain to function, our heart to pump blood or our eyes to see.

We don't appreciate that we have enough food to eat or that we have a roof over our heads, while there are millions of people who don't have these gifts. It's no wonder that so many people think negatively.

The newspaper is filled with negative news. Television and radio reports dwell on tragedies and crimes. How often do you read or hear about people helping each other or doing something positive? Hardly ever. If you do nothing to counteract this bombardment of negativity, you're going to think negatively.

At any time, however, you could take control of this situation. You could stop watching and listening to all of the negative news and read something positive instead. You could limit your contact with "toxic" people and make sure your life is filled with positive inputs.

If you did that, your "natural" inclination would switch and you'd begin to think positively.

Melina

Hi everyone!

I love the updates! It sounds like everyone is doing well with handling life's curveballs and I'm proud of all of you!

I'm happy to say I am on Day 7 today!

I have been going to a meeting everyday for the past three days and it has been WONDERFUL!

One guy at a meeting explained the urge to drink as the Thing. That when the Thing gets set off it's like this Thing upon him that he couldn't get off and made him drink. I guess that's what we refer to around here as the AV. Now, when the Thing makes an appearance, he goes to a meeting and it kills the Thing. I can absolutely relate. My biggest trigger is irritation.

When I get irritated, the Thing raises it heads and roars so thirsty. I believe that I learned to create situations where I would become irritated so me and my 'best friend' the Thing could get hammered at home, showing the stupid people in the world who is boss.

I am learning new coping tools and I think the Thing is really a stupid little creature that I don't want to be friends with anymore. He's not invited into my house or head, he messes up everything.

I'm very excited about what's going on with me and my recent decisions.

I just don't have to drink. There is nothing that can happen that the Thing can't make so much worse. And my life is worth a lot. A lot.

I'm happy to be here, I'm grateful to know and accept that I am a suffering addict. Giving myself over to those words, 'suffering addict' isn't anything defeatist or negative on my part. Finally understanding I am a suffering addict gives me a map out of my patterns. It feels freeing and joyous that I know who I am and I can learn better ways to cope. The suffering in time will go away, and the addict part lets me know there are substances that are harmful to me that I must not ingest.

I'm happy.

xoxo,
Melina

GotGrace

Oh, Melina, this is so great to hear from you! I am thrilled, excited, and just so happy for you that you see that this is not only possible but a really good thing! You are seeing the hope and the positives and not just the quitting, and that is where the battle began to be won for me. I saw that there was much to be gained by quitting.

The tide is turning for you, Melina. Ride those gnarly waves all the way to success, darlin'!

BLKDIESEL

~~Weekend Update~~

Hope all had a great weekend, mine was fantastic. Had dinner with a friend, who was in town on Friday, and had a great time. Saturday was worktime on a project that I'm initiating and Sunday had a ball at a house music festival that happens annually here in NYC. All in all a great time with some great people, music and vibes. Hope you all enjoyed your weekend the same.