Class Of February 2014 Part 9
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Gazza - I'm sorry you're stuck living with your alcoholic ex girlfriend, but happy that you aren't drawn into her toxicity and dysfunction.
DiggingIn - I hope your return to shore is going well and you're feeling strong in your sobriety.
Today my father brought over a bottle of red wine for lunch. I had no issue passing it up, nor any cravings for it. In fact, I enjoyed that choosing not to drink made me feel more awake and involved in our lunchtime conversation.
I told him that I haven't drank for 112 days. I could see his face drop, and on Father's Day, my intention wasn't to worry him, simply to share something important - and healthy - going on with me. I assured him that it's fine that they are going to enjoy wine with lunch, but drinking "wasn't working for me." I told him that I have more energy and am sleeping better. He said something along the lines that it's important to know what your body can and cannot handle. It's the third time we've had this conversation. I'm not comfortable sharing more than that, and that's ok.
DiggingIn - I hope your return to shore is going well and you're feeling strong in your sobriety.
Today my father brought over a bottle of red wine for lunch. I had no issue passing it up, nor any cravings for it. In fact, I enjoyed that choosing not to drink made me feel more awake and involved in our lunchtime conversation.
I told him that I haven't drank for 112 days. I could see his face drop, and on Father's Day, my intention wasn't to worry him, simply to share something important - and healthy - going on with me. I assured him that it's fine that they are going to enjoy wine with lunch, but drinking "wasn't working for me." I told him that I have more energy and am sleeping better. He said something along the lines that it's important to know what your body can and cannot handle. It's the third time we've had this conversation. I'm not comfortable sharing more than that, and that's ok.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 134
Hello all! Wishing well to all- Glee Gazza LS and all- seems like you all have had temptations and are working through/around them.
The retreat went well. I wouldn't let my mind completely let go and relax. It was worth it for the fact I talked to about a 80 year old Jesuit and he looked at me and said young lady you have been through a lot of ****. That was amusing.
Still haven't drank. I did EDMR today for first time and realized how scared I am. Of the PTSD, I haven't come to terms with having MS, my future, money, men, I am afraid of being a nothing, a bad car accident, co dependency, narcissistic mother, a son who is depressed and doesn't have a relationship with his dad or stepfather, a life time of bad things (good as well but have to focus on the demons and put them to rest) and bad people. It is overwhelming. I want to drink, but what does that prove really? If I do it It won't solve anything. It is one thing that I can control.
Court last Thursday was a bust. We didn't have time on docket to testify so I go back 6/26. The house will be foreclosed on this Wed.
Thanks to our class for being a bright spot.
The retreat went well. I wouldn't let my mind completely let go and relax. It was worth it for the fact I talked to about a 80 year old Jesuit and he looked at me and said young lady you have been through a lot of ****. That was amusing.
Still haven't drank. I did EDMR today for first time and realized how scared I am. Of the PTSD, I haven't come to terms with having MS, my future, money, men, I am afraid of being a nothing, a bad car accident, co dependency, narcissistic mother, a son who is depressed and doesn't have a relationship with his dad or stepfather, a life time of bad things (good as well but have to focus on the demons and put them to rest) and bad people. It is overwhelming. I want to drink, but what does that prove really? If I do it It won't solve anything. It is one thing that I can control.
Court last Thursday was a bust. We didn't have time on docket to testify so I go back 6/26. The house will be foreclosed on this Wed.
Thanks to our class for being a bright spot.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,460
I'm glad you're back Jenny 
I had a lot of what ifs too - I gradually whittled them down to one - what if all that stuff doesn't happen, or sorts itself out?
That's served me well since
D
I had a lot of what ifs too - I gradually whittled them down to one - what if all that stuff doesn't happen, or sorts itself out?
That's served me well since
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 134
Thanks Dee!!
I guess that is it. I always said I didn't know anything about spirituality. I know a ton about religion- the rules, rubrics and formalities. The inner life- nothing. I got some tips, books, lectures etc. on how to do that. And phone numbers and a temporary sponsor. When my son and his girlfriend dropped me off I panicked- I knew no one, couldn't talk and had to be alone with my thoughts. That is the last place I wanted to be!!
Baby steps. Baby steps.
I guess that is it. I always said I didn't know anything about spirituality. I know a ton about religion- the rules, rubrics and formalities. The inner life- nothing. I got some tips, books, lectures etc. on how to do that. And phone numbers and a temporary sponsor. When my son and his girlfriend dropped me off I panicked- I knew no one, couldn't talk and had to be alone with my thoughts. That is the last place I wanted to be!!
Baby steps. Baby steps.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Jenny - Your pain is palpable, but so is your desire to heal. Look at lengths you're taking to work on your pain. You've identified where you're hurting, which is the hard part. Now you're onto the even harder part - to use the variety of tools at your disposal to follow your inner conscience so that you may heal.
You can do it, Jenny. Baby steps are great! Keep moving forward.
You can do it, Jenny. Baby steps are great! Keep moving forward.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 346
You'll have to forgive the length of this post, and typos as I am posting from my phone. I come from a large family. I have 3 aunts, 3 uncles and even more cousins. One of my aunts had a massive stroke yesterday leaving her paralyzed on the right side of her body, unable to talk and blind. I think the worst part is that she seems to be aware of what is happening. She has 2 daughters. One is an alcoholic, and I suspect is addicted to other drugs as well. Her granddaughter uses heroin. When they finally got to the hospital in the late evening my cousin was very drunk and her daughter had been out shooting up heroin (or however you take heroin). It was a nightmare. I was never that kind of drunk, thankfully, but I was perhaps on the path. I wish that she wanted help, but she has lost her drivers license, her nurses license, her job, her house, she has felony convictions due to DUI's, and none of this has prompted her to seek help. They both need help separately from each other. It's very tragic, and the last thing my aunts and uncles need to deal with as their sister is in such a bad condition. Alcohol is truly poison. Not just to the alcoholic, but to anyone who has to deal with them. We all need to remember this when our AV kicks in.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
DiggingIn - I'm sorry to hear about your aunt. What a blessing in your sobriety that you are able to reach out to help.
I'm sorry your cousins are of making a painful situation more difficult. I was in a number of situations as the result of drinking that might have been a wake up call to someone saner than I, but I wasn't thinking rationally at the time; I was thinking about drinking! It was a rather run of the mill (or what had become run of the mill) set of circumstances that prompted me to stop. It's impossible to predict what the turning point will be for an addict, if any.
Hang in there. Prayers for your aunt!
I'm sorry your cousins are of making a painful situation more difficult. I was in a number of situations as the result of drinking that might have been a wake up call to someone saner than I, but I wasn't thinking rationally at the time; I was thinking about drinking! It was a rather run of the mill (or what had become run of the mill) set of circumstances that prompted me to stop. It's impossible to predict what the turning point will be for an addict, if any.
Hang in there. Prayers for your aunt!
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 226
Sorry to hear about your Aunty DI. Alcohol truly is a posion in every sense.
Im doing fine. Counsellor tonight. My partner has been home with stomach bug fo a couple of days. Funny how the stomach bug made her lips turn red and left dark red wine marks on the tiolet bowl. Not sure where shes hiding the bottles, guess its none of my business.
Shes also hiding her departure from everyone. Im not. Went to a meeting last night just told her straight, "Im going to an AA meeting because I find it helpful."
Take care all.
Im doing fine. Counsellor tonight. My partner has been home with stomach bug fo a couple of days. Funny how the stomach bug made her lips turn red and left dark red wine marks on the tiolet bowl. Not sure where shes hiding the bottles, guess its none of my business.
Shes also hiding her departure from everyone. Im not. Went to a meeting last night just told her straight, "Im going to an AA meeting because I find it helpful."
Take care all.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 346
Originally Posted by SoberLeigh 
Hi Febbies. How is your Aunt doing, DI? Gazza, sorry to hear that your ex is still creating problems. Hope that situation stabilizes for you soon.
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