Applekat

I agree with Kitten on the sugar!
ST glad you're logging in at least!

Upward2Enlightenment

Luc you are probably experiencing low blood sugar. The body converts alcohol to sugar.

I don't mean to be harsh but if you could handle having just a little alcohol here and there you wouldn't be here.

Upward2Enlightenment

I agree with kat, ST, glad you checked in.

obosob

You beauty ST, well played!
Morning all Day 25, fitness fools it is then.
Usually weigh in around 85kg, have shot up to 90kg in the last 25 days. I've had a pretty good crack on the fang!
A couple of injuries to consider (use as an excuse)...
A tough day here today. There's a woman with two children living in an illegal dwelling on the house we just bought!
She's a real hippie/tripper, a different vision of life and I agree with half of it too.
Insurance, the mortgage, council and the town planner have all said she must go.
It's tough, I'm not the kind of guy who likes authority and following all the rules.
She's a really good person, her kids now spend one week with her then with their fathers. Her ex-partner has found a new girl, he's moved on and in the conversations I've had with her, she becomes so emotional about leaving, she loves the place.
Today I've got to drive out there and give her notice in writing, with another 4 weeks to get out!
I don't want to do this, but I have to. I'm representing myself and my wife, who could lose everything if something goes wrong!
This is a big test for me...... She reminds me of a past relationship I had with an older woman who really hurt me.
I don't want to represent 'the machine' or "change", but my wife is upset and every authority tells me I have to.
I have to be strong, not be moved by emotional blackmail, and just repeat the reality that I'm facing.
Not ready for this, didn't want to be this person.
But I'm in it!
It's never easy!

Upward2Enlightenment

You have to do what is best for you and your wife. We will be here for you.

obosob

Thanks Up, this is a real heart breaker for some reason. You're right I have to do what's best for us.....

Mrsbee

Chick those flowers are beautiful!!! My husband got me an arrangement of different gerber daisies for my graduation and I put them in little glass milk bottles that I had left from my wedding centerpieces...they look so pretty in my living room!

Kat, sorry you're feeling bummed...but I will tell you (and whoever else has slipped recently) what I was told after I slipped up a couple months ago and had to "start over"....even though you are starting "day 1" again look at it instead that you've only drank/used once in the last month...and compare that to months past...still an enormous improvement!

To all my fellow Downton fans...I found so many hilarious DA memes that I will have I post soon! It's hard to do via iPhone so I will do it next time I'm at a PC but I thought of all you guys as I was laughing at them!

Speaking of, my hubby also bought me a DA boxed set over the weekend...seasons 1-3 plus a bonus documentary disc, on Blu-Ray. So now I can watch episodes over and over lol! And I have a request for season 4 at the library! Oh and we went to a used movie/cd/ game shop yesterday because we have a Nintendo GameCube laying around...my husband always tries to get me into different video games and it's rare that I ever actually do. Well he's been telling me for years that I'd like Animal Crossing, so we bought a copy for our GameCube...yep, I'm hooked!!! I can play for hours and it feels like minutes! Which is good to keep me from craving booze but bad for general productivity lol!

Thanks so much to everyone who wished me congrats on my graduation over the weekend....it was definitely a ton of work and I'm really proud of myself.

Hope everyone is doing good...I have a lot of posts to catch up on reading but I heart you all!!! Xoxo

obosob

For anyone in the gang that likes guitar based music. Alice in Chains/Mad Season singer Layne Staley has a first hand expression of addiction, his lyrics are incredible. He died of an overdose.
Nutshell and River of Deceit are two songs I'd recommend to anyone facing addiction issues.
Ok off now to break the news.............

Upward2Enlightenment

Trust me when I say I agree that it is a heart breaker, I wouldn't want to do it either. Unfortunately life is not fair. Just be strong.

obosob

Congrats on your graduation Mrsbee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

areyoukittenme

River of Deceit is a tremendous song. I about wore out my cd player in high school with that Mad Season album.

Good luck, obo.

Upward2Enlightenment

Mrsbee that is a good way to look at the slip, and that is what it is a slip, not a failure. You guys are still here and still working at it. I am proud of you.

Wondering if we are going to need to do a video game intervention in the future.

Upward2Enlightenment

Yea congratulations Mrsbee, I can't remember if I said that last week when you slipped it in.

Upward2Enlightenment

Mrsbee

Haha I MIGHT need an intervention Up! Ps I just saw the pics you posted of the coast...so lovely! My aunt and cousin have lived in Dover DE for years and I always love to visit them and go to Rehoboth Beach.

topspin

Lucrezia ,

I'm just guessing here, but if you're like me , you've already tried drinking "just a little" through the month. That proved impossible , for me.

Hitting rock bottom is not the answer, ..other wise all the folks who did would just go on with their life , and never relapse.

The biggest hurdle for me with the wishy-washy ambivalence of do, don't I is acceptance. Like , what are my future plans about drinking ?

Of course it was scary, just posing the thought !?? My desire to drink ( my addiction) was raising cane at the question. Same as yours is doing.

It was saying things to me like " your drinking's not that bad" ,,.....of course rephrasing it to: " my drinking's not that bad ".... you see , it will try anything to make me think those are truly my thoughts, but they are not. I've proved time and time again that drinking isn't working for me any longer. Those are my thoughts.

Your addiction is pulling the old trick , ..".well if it's this hard to start with , it's going to be even harder next week , or next month ." That's all rubbish , ask anyone here in this class, ....everyone here knows it gets easier and easier as the first week or two goes by . Not that we can't have a reversal of intention. But it does get easier after a week or two ,....my experience anyway.

Your deep desire to drink , your addiction , is trying to convince you to go get your favorite wine , ....."......Better than siphoning off the tops of random bottles of stuff that's not mine and doesn't taste good " ...just your addiction expressing itself, That expression is your Addictive Voice.

Once I got used to recognizing what was my voice, ( my true desire , to be a nondrinker) ..versus my addiction expressing itself , ..that was a big hurdle. They say in AVRT , to just ignore it, ...because it has no motor skills. I challenged my addiction to lift my little finger, ( you can too !?! ) ...it couldn't even do that !.... why would I have to worry about it causing me to ride to the store , pull out money , buy booze , drive all the way home, open the bottle , and start slugging it down , ....it can't even lift my little finger.

Engaging in conversation ,( the internal dialogue ) can prove , not only dangerous but fruitless, because my addiction will express itself , .... disguising itself , to make me think it's ideas are mine. It's all a big scam. All lies.

Deep down I know this , but when confusion ( ambivalence ) sets in , then I have to do something about it. Try to recognize it , first , and then , ....not engage with it . It took some practice, for sure.

It helped me to think only about my decision to "not drink in the present" , ....that way I never have to worry about whether I would be "white knuckling it" in the future, ...because when the future gets here , it will be the present , ...and since I've accepted I don't drink in the present, ...no problem. Eventually, a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.

It helped to set my confidence level at 100%. Knowing any thoughts that chip away at that feeling are pure AV.

Lucrezia, I have confidence you can sort this out , and be free, once and for all, of any white knuckling , because ,imo , that's the hardest place in the world for me to be , with my addiction. Short of just throwing in the towel and eventually drinking myself into oblivion over a number of years , or God forbid , decades.

Again , I have full confidence in your ability to develop a sober life,
....... a life second to none.



sorry this is so long , ....I'm long winded I guess

oh , ( one more thing , of course , right !?! lol ) that was me asking about the paleo , ....I wouldn't hesitate to go get a bucket of cookies , if that's what it takes , .. I put the total focus on the alcohol. The rest of the exercising , the diet , ect , etc became self-evident as I got a little more sober time in.

Lucrezia

Thank you so much topspin!! So much of that made so much sense. I'm going to have to reread it a few times....let it sink in. Also, haha, don't be sorry it's long. I myself have the rambling, overly verbose gene. I don't mind reading longer posts. So yeah. Thank you.

Lucrezia

And obosob - I believe you can do it (talk to that person). I really do. Even though I know it's tough. You can do it.

SolitaryThinker

Mrs bee animal crossing is awesome I wanna get it on my Nintendo 3ds

SolitaryThinker

I donno what to say today..