Class Of November 2012 - Part 7
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 102
Yes November is almost here. Hard to believe it is 4 years ago that we started on this journey!
2 years without a cigarette upcoming on Monday.
4 years without a drink or a drug coming 1 week from tomorrow!
See you all next week!
2 years without a cigarette upcoming on Monday.
4 years without a drink or a drug coming 1 week from tomorrow!
See you all next week!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 102
This thread is dead! I hope everyone isn't!
4 years came and went, still sober!!!Year 4
Every year I try to take a few moments and reflect on where I am in my sobriety. IT is amazing to see what changes, and what stays the same each year….
It is hard for me to believe that 4 years have elapsed since the last time I picked up a drink or used a drug. It was not long ago that the idea of 24 hours, then 12 hours seemed utterly impossible. For 12 years I had the obsession and compulsion define my life.*I smoked some weed and drank in 7th grade and I was controlled by substances for the next decade plus…It’s hard for me to remember exactly what it was like. First thought in the morning, last thought at night…the same thing every day. “Do I have enough?”, “Where will I get the next bag/bottle/jar…” I may have done things over those years, but the substances were always the controlling factor.
Countless hospitalizations…high school diploma…3 arrests…college degree…3 broken jaws...adopting a dog…love found…love lost….so much fun…too much misery.
It is so important for me to remember the good times. There were many. I had a lot of fun in my addiction. To only remember the bad would be a discount to my experience. There was bad, so much bad…yet it started as fun. More importantly, it started as a solution.
I am an addict through and through…I love drugs, I love booze. When I started getting high, I had no idea what problem they were solving. My mind would calm, the self-loathing would dim…I was finally able to sit with myself. Thinking back to those days, I have no surprise that I started using every day. Comparing the two options, I think it is a choice that nearly all people would make.
However, over the years that would follow, my solution began to backfire. Besides the common issues that come with drug/alcohol use (Injuries, withdrawal, arrests etc.…), I was not longer getting the same relief. No matter how much I would use, the feeling of peace was more and more elusive. And the more I used, the more I needed. It was a vicious cycle that I saw no exit from. I lived that way for about 4 years.
Then 1 day the hustle become too much to handle. Nothing special was happening. Sure, I had been stealing more and the walls were getting tight around me…but I am sure I could have found a way out. Really, I was just tired. And I asked for help…my parents decided they would try to help me out, and off to rehab I went.
I detoxed first. Not a fun experience, but it was one that I had gone through many times. I went to the treatment section of rehab and several things occurred. I was introduced to AA, I found the steps, I came to peace with being an atheist and agnostic, I decided I was going to give the programs a chance and I decided that I was done. I spent the next 3+ weeks trying to convince my treatment team that I was honest with those points. Most of them doubted me, luckily my counselor John did not. Apparently, patients in rehab often lie about not wanting to use anymore, who knew…
I left rehab, went to an AA meeting, put my hand in the area and said “My name is Jeff, I am an alcoholic, this is my first meeting, I need help.” And AA took me by the hand. I went to so many meetings in the early days. 10+/week. I got a sponsor, I got a home group, I got into service and I got into the steps.
I learned so much in my early recovery. Caron had taught me about the disease of addiction…AA taught me about the rest. My disease is patient, permanent, progressive and fatal. My “ism” centers in my mind. Substances were only a symptom. Pride is not always a good thing. Humility is one of the best things there is. Having a lot of sober time only means that you haven’t picked up in a while. Gratitude is the strongest tool I have. The list goes on and on.
I worked the steps and now I try to live them. I have done my 5th step, countless 9th steps and I apologize often, seemingly every day. I try to work with newcomers and I try to be a better person from 1 minute to the next. I often fail and I often succeed.
Throughout my journey, I have had more things happen in my world then I could ever imagine. My mom got sober, my sister got sober (both have stayed sober!), my dad goes to 12 step meetings yet is not an alcoholic. I have married an amazing woman (who also happens to be sober) and have rekindled friendships that I thought were lost. I have celebrated holidays, mourned at funerals and enjoyed so many quiet moments…times where my head was quiet and my heart was pure. It took me a few years to realize it, but eventually I realized that this is what I was searching for all those years when I was using.
For me, recovery is nothing more than another solution. My default setting is restless, irritable and discontented. That is what and who I am. I spent so many years looking at the bottom of bags and bottles for a solution. That is what I have found. Peace, serenity, god-consciousness, calmness, tranquility…there are so many words that people use for what I feel these days. But the truth is, I live in gratitude and I try to enjoy the moment, whatever it may be. There are bad times, there are good times, there are in-between times. The common denominator is I don’t hate myself today. I work to be a better person and the vast majority of my life is spent with a quiet and peaceful mind.
I am grateful to be an alcoholic and an addict. That is something I could not have imagined a few years ago. My disease is addiction. My solution is try to live by a set of principles that require me to try and be a better person. Drugs and alcohol are my motivation. They break me. They send me down a vicious cycle. That is what awaits me if I stop the path I am on. I don’t wake up every day and ask God a question. I don’t thank a deity each night. But I do wake up and live my life in gratitude, for me, today, that seems to do the trick.
4 years came and went, still sober!!!Year 4
Every year I try to take a few moments and reflect on where I am in my sobriety. IT is amazing to see what changes, and what stays the same each year….
It is hard for me to believe that 4 years have elapsed since the last time I picked up a drink or used a drug. It was not long ago that the idea of 24 hours, then 12 hours seemed utterly impossible. For 12 years I had the obsession and compulsion define my life.*I smoked some weed and drank in 7th grade and I was controlled by substances for the next decade plus…It’s hard for me to remember exactly what it was like. First thought in the morning, last thought at night…the same thing every day. “Do I have enough?”, “Where will I get the next bag/bottle/jar…” I may have done things over those years, but the substances were always the controlling factor.
Countless hospitalizations…high school diploma…3 arrests…college degree…3 broken jaws...adopting a dog…love found…love lost….so much fun…too much misery.
It is so important for me to remember the good times. There were many. I had a lot of fun in my addiction. To only remember the bad would be a discount to my experience. There was bad, so much bad…yet it started as fun. More importantly, it started as a solution.
I am an addict through and through…I love drugs, I love booze. When I started getting high, I had no idea what problem they were solving. My mind would calm, the self-loathing would dim…I was finally able to sit with myself. Thinking back to those days, I have no surprise that I started using every day. Comparing the two options, I think it is a choice that nearly all people would make.
However, over the years that would follow, my solution began to backfire. Besides the common issues that come with drug/alcohol use (Injuries, withdrawal, arrests etc.…), I was not longer getting the same relief. No matter how much I would use, the feeling of peace was more and more elusive. And the more I used, the more I needed. It was a vicious cycle that I saw no exit from. I lived that way for about 4 years.
Then 1 day the hustle become too much to handle. Nothing special was happening. Sure, I had been stealing more and the walls were getting tight around me…but I am sure I could have found a way out. Really, I was just tired. And I asked for help…my parents decided they would try to help me out, and off to rehab I went.
I detoxed first. Not a fun experience, but it was one that I had gone through many times. I went to the treatment section of rehab and several things occurred. I was introduced to AA, I found the steps, I came to peace with being an atheist and agnostic, I decided I was going to give the programs a chance and I decided that I was done. I spent the next 3+ weeks trying to convince my treatment team that I was honest with those points. Most of them doubted me, luckily my counselor John did not. Apparently, patients in rehab often lie about not wanting to use anymore, who knew…
I left rehab, went to an AA meeting, put my hand in the area and said “My name is Jeff, I am an alcoholic, this is my first meeting, I need help.” And AA took me by the hand. I went to so many meetings in the early days. 10+/week. I got a sponsor, I got a home group, I got into service and I got into the steps.
I learned so much in my early recovery. Caron had taught me about the disease of addiction…AA taught me about the rest. My disease is patient, permanent, progressive and fatal. My “ism” centers in my mind. Substances were only a symptom. Pride is not always a good thing. Humility is one of the best things there is. Having a lot of sober time only means that you haven’t picked up in a while. Gratitude is the strongest tool I have. The list goes on and on.
I worked the steps and now I try to live them. I have done my 5th step, countless 9th steps and I apologize often, seemingly every day. I try to work with newcomers and I try to be a better person from 1 minute to the next. I often fail and I often succeed.
Throughout my journey, I have had more things happen in my world then I could ever imagine. My mom got sober, my sister got sober (both have stayed sober!), my dad goes to 12 step meetings yet is not an alcoholic. I have married an amazing woman (who also happens to be sober) and have rekindled friendships that I thought were lost. I have celebrated holidays, mourned at funerals and enjoyed so many quiet moments…times where my head was quiet and my heart was pure. It took me a few years to realize it, but eventually I realized that this is what I was searching for all those years when I was using.
For me, recovery is nothing more than another solution. My default setting is restless, irritable and discontented. That is what and who I am. I spent so many years looking at the bottom of bags and bottles for a solution. That is what I have found. Peace, serenity, god-consciousness, calmness, tranquility…there are so many words that people use for what I feel these days. But the truth is, I live in gratitude and I try to enjoy the moment, whatever it may be. There are bad times, there are good times, there are in-between times. The common denominator is I don’t hate myself today. I work to be a better person and the vast majority of my life is spent with a quiet and peaceful mind.
I am grateful to be an alcoholic and an addict. That is something I could not have imagined a few years ago. My disease is addiction. My solution is try to live by a set of principles that require me to try and be a better person. Drugs and alcohol are my motivation. They break me. They send me down a vicious cycle. That is what awaits me if I stop the path I am on. I don’t wake up every day and ask God a question. I don’t thank a deity each night. But I do wake up and live my life in gratitude, for me, today, that seems to do the trick.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,069
I was just searching for this thread, and got to page four and posts two months old--then went back and double checked and the last post was just half an hour ago!
I spend a lot of time at SR, but just don't blog much.
I got my four year chip a couple days ago, and life sober is good!
Best wishes to all!
I spend a lot of time at SR, but just don't blog much.
I got my four year chip a couple days ago, and life sober is good!
Best wishes to all!
grouphug:
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