One Year & Under Club Part 30
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,171
TL I hope you are feeling better today, Each day we succeed in not drinking is another day of kicking AV butt. it moves you further down the road and AV has a tougher time keeping up I promise.
Carlos, will you introduce me to Normal because I haven't met them yet! Her response to you back then obviously had a big impact on you; you had opened yourself up, apologised and were possibly seeking understanding if not absolution. Your feeling would have been exposed, as a raw nerve. Your daughters response was dictated by the mood she was in at the time. She may have not been in a place emotionally to deal with your depth, and basically 'Whatever'd' you. It may have been that she was embarrassed by your openness. Carlos, it could have been any of 100 things that were more about her than what you wrote, including her chosen interpretation of your words. You need to let that go. She has changed in the intervening years as have you. The past cannot be changed, and sometimes it cant be mended, so focus on the relationship you have now with your girls. Remember how she was with you on her wedding day, she wanted you there, and you did her proud. Be kinder to yourself, it is not your daughters forgiveness you seek, it is your own.
Carlos, will you introduce me to Normal because I haven't met them yet! Her response to you back then obviously had a big impact on you; you had opened yourself up, apologised and were possibly seeking understanding if not absolution. Your feeling would have been exposed, as a raw nerve. Your daughters response was dictated by the mood she was in at the time. She may have not been in a place emotionally to deal with your depth, and basically 'Whatever'd' you. It may have been that she was embarrassed by your openness. Carlos, it could have been any of 100 things that were more about her than what you wrote, including her chosen interpretation of your words. You need to let that go. She has changed in the intervening years as have you. The past cannot be changed, and sometimes it cant be mended, so focus on the relationship you have now with your girls. Remember how she was with you on her wedding day, she wanted you there, and you did her proud. Be kinder to yourself, it is not your daughters forgiveness you seek, it is your own.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
Good Morning Undies,
Gilmer - MANY BELATED CONGRATULATIONS ON 5 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY
I couldn't be happier for you! I am so pleased to hear that the bronchitis is finally getting better. Kudos to you for staying sober through an illness. Feeling unwell can be a huge trigger to drink.
DG - I can relate so well to your feelings of relief that now the boyfriend has moved out you no longer have to be subjected to both alcohol and weed being constantly around you. My husband is getting ready to take a trip to visit his parents in less than two weeks and it will be such a relief to have no booze in the house. I try and open the blinds in the den (where the computer is located) to bring in fresh light and find beer cans lined up on the window sill. I do resent having to pick them up and put them in the recycle bin. I try and reframe my thinking and realize they are inanimate objects that can't hurt me; it is what may potentially go on in my head that is the problem.
TigerLili - Kudos to you on admitting your cravings and coming here for support. If I have learned anything in sobriety it is that they won't last forever and I always feel like I dodged a bullet when I didn't given in to them. As Dee said lean heavily on your support network and perhaps keep busy and try and find healthy ways to pamper yourself this week-end.
ABCowboy - I am so sorry to hear about your helper's Dad. The encouraging news is that the cancer was found early. Sending prayers his way for a speedy recovery.
Carlos - The two column spread sheet sounds like a great idea on deciding to tell or not tell. I know asking for help is often times still difficult for me. I certainly agree that you have experienced a good deal of emotional growth in not only asking for help without trying to influence the outcome and in so many other areas of your sobriety. BTW, the meds did seem to help. Although, I did have a couple few rough days with the insomnia where I wasn't able to do much of anything. I have scheduled a doctor's appointment to get the huge lump on my neck taken care of. I am hoping that this may alleviate some of the daily headaches that I experience. In terms of Tina, she hasn't called me since I gave her my telephone number. I saw her at a meeting on Wednesday and she told me she hasn't called a sponsor in her 7 months of sobriety. Perhaps, that is why her potential sponsor required her to attend meetings with her. She said that due to her depression she finds it difficult to call.
For the meeting that I am chairing on Sunday, I picked a topic that really resonated with me. It is all about "Doing things Differently" to achieve and maintain sobriety. Being able to read up on potential topics, researching them and thinking about it has helped my own sobriety tremendously. I am very grateful for the opportunity to chair this meeting; although, I still get nervous doing so.
Wishing everyone a wonderful Good Friday!
Gilmer - MANY BELATED CONGRATULATIONS ON 5 MONTHS OF SOBRIETY
I couldn't be happier for you! I am so pleased to hear that the bronchitis is finally getting better. Kudos to you for staying sober through an illness. Feeling unwell can be a huge trigger to drink.DG - I can relate so well to your feelings of relief that now the boyfriend has moved out you no longer have to be subjected to both alcohol and weed being constantly around you. My husband is getting ready to take a trip to visit his parents in less than two weeks and it will be such a relief to have no booze in the house. I try and open the blinds in the den (where the computer is located) to bring in fresh light and find beer cans lined up on the window sill. I do resent having to pick them up and put them in the recycle bin. I try and reframe my thinking and realize they are inanimate objects that can't hurt me; it is what may potentially go on in my head that is the problem.
TigerLili - Kudos to you on admitting your cravings and coming here for support. If I have learned anything in sobriety it is that they won't last forever and I always feel like I dodged a bullet when I didn't given in to them. As Dee said lean heavily on your support network and perhaps keep busy and try and find healthy ways to pamper yourself this week-end.
ABCowboy - I am so sorry to hear about your helper's Dad. The encouraging news is that the cancer was found early. Sending prayers his way for a speedy recovery.
Carlos - The two column spread sheet sounds like a great idea on deciding to tell or not tell. I know asking for help is often times still difficult for me. I certainly agree that you have experienced a good deal of emotional growth in not only asking for help without trying to influence the outcome and in so many other areas of your sobriety. BTW, the meds did seem to help. Although, I did have a couple few rough days with the insomnia where I wasn't able to do much of anything. I have scheduled a doctor's appointment to get the huge lump on my neck taken care of. I am hoping that this may alleviate some of the daily headaches that I experience. In terms of Tina, she hasn't called me since I gave her my telephone number. I saw her at a meeting on Wednesday and she told me she hasn't called a sponsor in her 7 months of sobriety. Perhaps, that is why her potential sponsor required her to attend meetings with her. She said that due to her depression she finds it difficult to call.
For the meeting that I am chairing on Sunday, I picked a topic that really resonated with me. It is all about "Doing things Differently" to achieve and maintain sobriety. Being able to read up on potential topics, researching them and thinking about it has helped my own sobriety tremendously. I am very grateful for the opportunity to chair this meeting; although, I still get nervous doing so.
Wishing everyone a wonderful Good Friday!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
TigerLili - I'm glad you were able to surf through the craving. Keep leaning on that wonderful support network you've built.
Cowboy - I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Cancer is a fickle beast that elicits depth of emotion in friends and family of its patients. Keep us posted.
Toots & Gilmer - Thanks for offering great
perspectives for Carlos, and for any parents, really, who struggle with guilt over the effect of their alcohol use on their children.
Tanja - Great meeting topics. Your group is lucky to have you.
Emotional sobriety is a toughie. At less than two months sober, I'm still thinking about drinking from time to time, but more often than not I'm struggling with sobriety that has nothing to do with picking up. It's sobriety of thought, decisions, and actions.
Have a nice Easter weekend.
Cowboy - I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Cancer is a fickle beast that elicits depth of emotion in friends and family of its patients. Keep us posted.
Toots & Gilmer - Thanks for offering great
perspectives for Carlos, and for any parents, really, who struggle with guilt over the effect of their alcohol use on their children.
Tanja - Great meeting topics. Your group is lucky to have you.
Emotional sobriety is a toughie. At less than two months sober, I'm still thinking about drinking from time to time, but more often than not I'm struggling with sobriety that has nothing to do with picking up. It's sobriety of thought, decisions, and actions.
Have a nice Easter weekend.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,049
Tanja, you sound really good and well in that post. I didn't know you lived with someone who drank in the house. I admire you for staying sober with that in your environment!
Carlos, again, I recommend that you stay in the present. You're clinging to this one issue in a very alcoholic way -- almost makes me wonder if you're using it to avoid something else? As for the pros/cons list, I've been a big two-column chart maker in my life, but it doesn't really make the decision any less subjective.
Gilmer, I saw Godspell off-Broadway in about 1971 -- it was amazing!
Tigerlili, keep putting those feelings out here. That's what we're here for. I know how bad days off are -- handling free time is hard! I don't know if you're in AA, but I find that meetings help me pass some sober time and, if I share, I can purge some of the desire to drink.
Dorothy, I hope you have a good weekend.
I'm still fairly impaired with a perfectly ordinary (but disgusting, severe, incredibly irritating, highly contagious, and above all unique because it's my own) eye infection. I'm horrible to look at and completely annoyed that my one week off this semester when my husband is back in town and the weather is almost but not quite springlike is completely ruined by this stupid thing. So feeling very sorry for myself. It would be typical of me to start planning some rebound behavior for when I get better, but the good news is that the two things I want to do more than anything else don't involve drinking or otherwise acting out -- I want to hug my husband close, and read a book.
Carlos, again, I recommend that you stay in the present. You're clinging to this one issue in a very alcoholic way -- almost makes me wonder if you're using it to avoid something else? As for the pros/cons list, I've been a big two-column chart maker in my life, but it doesn't really make the decision any less subjective.
Gilmer, I saw Godspell off-Broadway in about 1971 -- it was amazing!
Tigerlili, keep putting those feelings out here. That's what we're here for. I know how bad days off are -- handling free time is hard! I don't know if you're in AA, but I find that meetings help me pass some sober time and, if I share, I can purge some of the desire to drink.
Dorothy, I hope you have a good weekend.
I'm still fairly impaired with a perfectly ordinary (but disgusting, severe, incredibly irritating, highly contagious, and above all unique because it's my own) eye infection. I'm horrible to look at and completely annoyed that my one week off this semester when my husband is back in town and the weather is almost but not quite springlike is completely ruined by this stupid thing. So feeling very sorry for myself. It would be typical of me to start planning some rebound behavior for when I get better, but the good news is that the two things I want to do more than anything else don't involve drinking or otherwise acting out -- I want to hug my husband close, and read a book.
No quitting on yer quit eh!
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,880
Morning undies! Have a day off today finally! But woke up to a landscape outside covered in snow and more to come today!
Lots off stuff floating around in my head this morning, not sure how many of you guys sign in at the 24 Hour Club, but this morning, Venuscat's post was special to me.... a lifetime ago, I was quite a religious man, raised Roman Catholic, a regular church goer, was even the Chairperson of the Church Council..... things happened in my life, death of 2 brothers, both parents, numerous other relatives, etc, etc, that had me questioning my faith.... turned to the bottle to find the answers... fast forward to today.....
Have found renewed faith in God and the Holy Trinity, but probably will never be involved in the Church again. So, Bubba and I are in our housecoat's having coffee like we do every morning, read the Daily Reflection, then log on to SR to commit to another 24 sober hours. I read VenusCat's post and told Bubba to log on and read it. She has always been way more spiritual than me and her faith remained strong through so many rough times. Anyway, she reads VC's post, and says "isn't it a shame" so, I ask what? She comment's on VC's opening statement in her post, in a place like SR, why does one have to apologize for posting your belief's? That got me to thinking how right she is....
In a family like SR, we are all here for one reason, to overcome whatever addiction(s) we are fighting. We are not here to judge other's on their actions or belief's, but to help and support their decision to become a better person. If we all lived our life on that simple belief, imagine what the world could be like....
I was humbled a bit the other day when the oldest daughter emailed to say that she used my story at her Al-Anon meeting and to make sure it was okay with me.... Her Al-Anon meeting??? How could I not see how much pain I was causing the people I love the most! So, on this Easter Weekend, I need to be even more grateful for my renewed faith, to put more trust in my God, knowing He will lead me down the right path if I let him.....
Wow, not sure where that all came from... pretty deep for a guy who only needs to know "s**t runs downhill, payday is Friday, and don't chew your fingernails" lol
I hope all my friends and family here at SR have a truly blessed Easter Weekend and find some time to be thankful for all the good in your life.....
Lots off stuff floating around in my head this morning, not sure how many of you guys sign in at the 24 Hour Club, but this morning, Venuscat's post was special to me.... a lifetime ago, I was quite a religious man, raised Roman Catholic, a regular church goer, was even the Chairperson of the Church Council..... things happened in my life, death of 2 brothers, both parents, numerous other relatives, etc, etc, that had me questioning my faith.... turned to the bottle to find the answers... fast forward to today.....
Have found renewed faith in God and the Holy Trinity, but probably will never be involved in the Church again. So, Bubba and I are in our housecoat's having coffee like we do every morning, read the Daily Reflection, then log on to SR to commit to another 24 sober hours. I read VenusCat's post and told Bubba to log on and read it. She has always been way more spiritual than me and her faith remained strong through so many rough times. Anyway, she reads VC's post, and says "isn't it a shame" so, I ask what? She comment's on VC's opening statement in her post, in a place like SR, why does one have to apologize for posting your belief's? That got me to thinking how right she is....
In a family like SR, we are all here for one reason, to overcome whatever addiction(s) we are fighting. We are not here to judge other's on their actions or belief's, but to help and support their decision to become a better person. If we all lived our life on that simple belief, imagine what the world could be like....
I was humbled a bit the other day when the oldest daughter emailed to say that she used my story at her Al-Anon meeting and to make sure it was okay with me.... Her Al-Anon meeting??? How could I not see how much pain I was causing the people I love the most! So, on this Easter Weekend, I need to be even more grateful for my renewed faith, to put more trust in my God, knowing He will lead me down the right path if I let him.....
Wow, not sure where that all came from... pretty deep for a guy who only needs to know "s**t runs downhill, payday is Friday, and don't chew your fingernails" lol
I hope all my friends and family here at SR have a truly blessed Easter Weekend and find some time to be thankful for all the good in your life.....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
Glee I totally relate regarding the emotional sobriety. That's a lot of why I think I've relapsed in the past.
Tanja great meeting topic. Let us know how it goes!
Courage hope the eye heals soon!
Carlos I'm not threw sorting the list of record store day releases but there's some ACDC coming out, 7inch David Bowie, death can for cutie, kings of Leon, and a split 7inch of circa survive/sunny day real estate to name a few. I got a really cool ozzy Osborne one a few years ago and the vinyl is black and white polka dots!
Glad it's Friday. Today's gonna be my busiest day of the week work wise but that should make it go by fast atleast.
Tanja great meeting topic. Let us know how it goes!
Courage hope the eye heals soon!
Carlos I'm not threw sorting the list of record store day releases but there's some ACDC coming out, 7inch David Bowie, death can for cutie, kings of Leon, and a split 7inch of circa survive/sunny day real estate to name a few. I got a really cool ozzy Osborne one a few years ago and the vinyl is black and white polka dots!
Glad it's Friday. Today's gonna be my busiest day of the week work wise but that should make it go by fast atleast.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Cowboy- I totally agree about how our members should feel open to express their beliefs without fear that they will be attacked. I think a lot of people forget (or never understood) the purpose of this site. Of course, I guess I've decided what I think it's purpose is and assume everybody else should feel the same.
I haven't always been perfect about this, but I try not to respond to things unless I think it will actually help somebody in some way. I guess it comes back to sharing experience, strength and hope- not advice, opinions and judgement.
And there can be threads around here that seem to me as though they offer no benefit to anybody's recovery, so even if I have an opinion on the topic, I don't post it as I have no need to contribute to threads distracting from the real business of recovery.
OK, that's the end of my rant on this topic.
I hope everybody has a good weekend.
I haven't always been perfect about this, but I try not to respond to things unless I think it will actually help somebody in some way. I guess it comes back to sharing experience, strength and hope- not advice, opinions and judgement.
And there can be threads around here that seem to me as though they offer no benefit to anybody's recovery, so even if I have an opinion on the topic, I don't post it as I have no need to contribute to threads distracting from the real business of recovery.
OK, that's the end of my rant on this topic.
I hope everybody has a good weekend.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
hi.
Okay, intro. I joined the March 2014 thread. It seems everyone in there is beginning to drift away, either into the April 2014 thread, or offsite, or relapse or just not posting. Dee suggested I come here.
I'm having a sad day, don't want to go to a meeting, got invited out by an AA woman who makes me very uncomfortable and I don't know what to say to her that is honest and yet not hurtful, but shuts down the relationship in a way that is cordial enough to see each other in meetings. She is too controlling for me and told me she would be my sponsor, even though I didn't ask for that. I hadn't even mentioned sponsorship to anyone. We got together a couple times and I knew it wasn't a good fit, but like I said, don't know how to sidestep it, either. I just told her about tonight, "Thanks, but I have plans." It's true enough, I plan to clean the kitchen and litter box and watch TV.
Ugh. This is why I suck at friendships. Wait. It wasn't a friendship, it was a highjack. There, I feel better.
Okay, intro. I joined the March 2014 thread. It seems everyone in there is beginning to drift away, either into the April 2014 thread, or offsite, or relapse or just not posting. Dee suggested I come here.
I'm having a sad day, don't want to go to a meeting, got invited out by an AA woman who makes me very uncomfortable and I don't know what to say to her that is honest and yet not hurtful, but shuts down the relationship in a way that is cordial enough to see each other in meetings. She is too controlling for me and told me she would be my sponsor, even though I didn't ask for that. I hadn't even mentioned sponsorship to anyone. We got together a couple times and I knew it wasn't a good fit, but like I said, don't know how to sidestep it, either. I just told her about tonight, "Thanks, but I have plans." It's true enough, I plan to clean the kitchen and litter box and watch TV.
Ugh. This is why I suck at friendships. Wait. It wasn't a friendship, it was a highjack. There, I feel better.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Thanks, Dee. She is the one who set me off last weekend and reminds me of my mother.
You'd think I would have good coping skills with that personality type, but it just triggers me into all sorts of dysfunctional behavior like isolating and extreme sadness.
You'd think I would have good coping skills with that personality type, but it just triggers me into all sorts of dysfunctional behavior like isolating and extreme sadness.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,479
It took me a long time to become assertive without either being awkward, completely OTT, or mortified for days afterwards.
I think you're doing ok - maybe do something to treat yourself tonight?
D
I think you're doing ok - maybe do something to treat yourself tonight?
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Wait. Clean litter box isn't a treat?
Thanks, Dee. Did I mention I'm trying to cut back sugar, too? Not quit, just stop with the four donuts a day or fifteen cookies. Leads to sugar hangover. It's got to stop.
Balance. (where's that little zen emo?) Oh, here:
Thanks, Dee. Did I mention I'm trying to cut back sugar, too? Not quit, just stop with the four donuts a day or fifteen cookies. Leads to sugar hangover. It's got to stop.
Balance. (where's that little zen emo?) Oh, here:
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: North. Where it snows.
Posts: 702
I'm here. And just wanted to wish a Happy Easter to everyone, and Pesach last week.
I'm not having any cravings. SO that's good I guess.
Enjoy the week-end. I like you all so much. Welcome BiminiBlue. Dee told me the same thing when I was on myJanuary thread a year and almost 4 monts ago and look! I'm still here. It's my SR family.
I hope you will find enough power to express it in some way to that woman.
Have a good evening everyone.
Dottie P.
I'm not having any cravings. SO that's good I guess.
Enjoy the week-end. I like you all so much. Welcome BiminiBlue. Dee told me the same thing when I was on myJanuary thread a year and almost 4 monts ago and look! I'm still here. It's my SR family.
I hope you will find enough power to express it in some way to that woman.
Have a good evening everyone.
Dottie P.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,183
Hi bimin, welcome to the Undies!
I've been here since late July and have developed many strong friendships along the way.
Sorry about your bad experience with that woman. I've been involved in AA since June 3rd and I am currently on my third sponsor. Finding the right fit can take time.
I remember early on someone latched on to me and offered to sponsor me. It kinda took me back and this old timer told me that it should never be offered, it should only be requested by you when you find someone you are comfortable with. Plus, when I did finally ask, I only asked for temporary sponsors at first.
There are a variety of recovery methods that have proven successful among the Undies group. For me and a few other Undies, combining AA and SR was a good fit.
Anyway, glad you have chosen to join in with us.
Hope you are enjoying the evening.
Carlos
PS: Cowboy, loved you post...thanks.
I've been here since late July and have developed many strong friendships along the way.
Sorry about your bad experience with that woman. I've been involved in AA since June 3rd and I am currently on my third sponsor. Finding the right fit can take time.
I remember early on someone latched on to me and offered to sponsor me. It kinda took me back and this old timer told me that it should never be offered, it should only be requested by you when you find someone you are comfortable with. Plus, when I did finally ask, I only asked for temporary sponsors at first.
There are a variety of recovery methods that have proven successful among the Undies group. For me and a few other Undies, combining AA and SR was a good fit.
Anyway, glad you have chosen to join in with us.
Hope you are enjoying the evening.
Carlos
PS: Cowboy, loved you post...thanks.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Originally Posted by Dee74 
It took me a long time to become assertive without either being awkward, completely OTT, or mortified for days afterwards.
Welcome Bimini!!
This is a wonderful group. I look forward to hearing from you. Right off the bat I can tell you that I share your relationship with sweets. I've been feeling 'off' today. I was kinda in a slump this morning, a little tense when out and about today, and in agoraphobic mode during my family fun night.
Hubby was sober tonight but we were at an event where beer was all around us. Periodically, when out and about in overstimulating environments, I'd have a beer or two to settle my nerves. It wasn't my usual pattern of use, though.
My craving was fleeting, and with drinking off the table as a solution, I had to face my anxiety disorder face to face. We were at a hockey game. I could not get comfortable so I excused myself to the bathroom a few times, to get some peace and quiet. I engaged in some "kind" self talk, telling myself that it is ok to feel overwhelmed, and that I'd feel better soon. I wasn't particularly present for my children, but I was there, and I made it through by allowing myself these accommodations.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,479
Assertiveness is definitely a challenge for me. How'd you achieve it?
I found I got a lot more attuned to reading people after the fog lifted from many years of drinking. That helps me deal with things before they get too bad.
I try to stay unemotional and stick to facts.
I still don't like conflict but I can stand my ground now and not feel sick about it.
The more I do it, the easier it gets
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 2,294
Welcome Bimini! The Undies are a great group of folks, I am just past 1 year and I still find the Undies "home" here on SR.
Have a good weekend all. Back from Day two of singing marathon for Easter. Just two more!
Have a good weekend all. Back from Day two of singing marathon for Easter. Just two more!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
I am friendly and sociable with small talk with a stranger, and able to assert my needs with my immediate family, but super awkward at dancing the balance of intimacy on the friendships in between. I'm hypersensitive. OTT (whose meaning I had to google ) is my go-to.
) is my go-to.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,171
Hi Bimini, good to see you here in the Undies, and you are always welcome to come see us in the March 13s again any time! I think you did well to deal with the issue of the woman who triggered you.
Cowboy, I do understand what Buuba said and why. I'm not sure if VC ( or possibly Deeker, I think it may have been her post that VC later refreshed) just wanted to be sure folk realised there was no intention to offend anyone of different or no faith. Whether anyone would have complained if she hadn't written that first, I'm not sure. I would like to think that the fact alcoholics and addicts are frequently judged harshly, we are more understanding and accepting of others differences. Unfortunately it isn't always the case. I no longer have any religion, I was not only not offended, but reminded of happier times in the choir.
As for your daughter, she sounds pretty balanced if she is asking you for permission to use your story and letting you know she attends Al-Anon. I love the new avatar btw, though you know I do love your cowboy! ( like Bubba has any worries! Lol)
Tanja, can't wait to hear how the topic went, I am a big believer that even small changes can make a big difference. I too am always in awe of your tolerance of your husbands drinking. I know it is a matter of attitude, but even so.
Carlos, I too wondered if you weren't focussing so much on this to ignore something else. I also struggle to understand the validity of a pros and cons list for what is ultimately an emotional decision. But that is me, I guess I function on an emotional level better than a practical one. Are you perhaps second guessing your judgement after recent choices/decisions you have made? ( feel free to take a nine iron to me!)
Dottie, you are sounding calmer, , I hope you have a lovely weekend. X
Oh BFree , you take me back. ACDC on vinyl, that was me first time round! My biker chick days. How I loved having something large and throbbing between my thighs! ( go run a cold shower Carlos ) I had big hair and happily headbanged the night away. I think that is what killed most of my brain cells!
Courage, I may be in NYC a week Monday, would be cool to meet up if you are around? Will PM you once I know for sure!
Bimini, how can you possibly cut back sugar just before Easter??
Dee bring on them eggs you big cute bunny you!
Cowboy, I do understand what Buuba said and why. I'm not sure if VC ( or possibly Deeker, I think it may have been her post that VC later refreshed) just wanted to be sure folk realised there was no intention to offend anyone of different or no faith. Whether anyone would have complained if she hadn't written that first, I'm not sure. I would like to think that the fact alcoholics and addicts are frequently judged harshly, we are more understanding and accepting of others differences. Unfortunately it isn't always the case. I no longer have any religion, I was not only not offended, but reminded of happier times in the choir.
As for your daughter, she sounds pretty balanced if she is asking you for permission to use your story and letting you know she attends Al-Anon. I love the new avatar btw, though you know I do love your cowboy! ( like Bubba has any worries! Lol)
Tanja, can't wait to hear how the topic went, I am a big believer that even small changes can make a big difference. I too am always in awe of your tolerance of your husbands drinking. I know it is a matter of attitude, but even so.
Carlos, I too wondered if you weren't focussing so much on this to ignore something else. I also struggle to understand the validity of a pros and cons list for what is ultimately an emotional decision. But that is me, I guess I function on an emotional level better than a practical one. Are you perhaps second guessing your judgement after recent choices/decisions you have made? ( feel free to take a nine iron to me!)
Dottie, you are sounding calmer, , I hope you have a lovely weekend. X
Oh BFree , you take me back. ACDC on vinyl, that was me first time round! My biker chick days. How I loved having something large and throbbing between my thighs! ( go run a cold shower Carlos ) I had big hair and happily headbanged the night away. I think that is what killed most of my brain cells!
Courage, I may be in NYC a week Monday, would be cool to meet up if you are around? Will PM you once I know for sure!
Bimini, how can you possibly cut back sugar just before Easter??
Dee bring on them eggs you big cute bunny you!
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