Will1981

This is another major point that I don't think has been brought up before, how much time and effort we waste in planning our drinking. I can really appreciate you calling it a part time job Mary. I love not having to think how much alcohol I have in the house and scheming about having to go out later. Trying to put on a fake facade by avoiding talkative cashiers in the supermarket was another one.

Today is day 103 for me, I would love to feel like I could count months rather than days but it still feels completely essential to me. This week has been incredibly tough but have come through ok. I'm back to work on Monday but already it seems its throwing up some challenges.

I hope everyone has a sober weekend.

SoberBike

Day 90 for me and I feel the same as you Will. Week was tough and everyone in the neighborhood is in "summer drinking mode". I would have been in this mode a year ago and probably leading the charge. It will be nice when this won't bother me, until then I will keep fighting.

Dee74

Congrats Erik

glad for all those who got through tough weeks - and glad to see everyone here still trying

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adee

Congrats on 90 Erik!

Finnie - I've been meaning to check out that book - thank you!

Will - I'm glad you got through your rough week.

GCG - it's good you are here.

SilentCinemaFan

Hey everyone just checking in for this week. Day 112... Been busy all this past week since returning to work. Very tiring the first week back from a week long break but I'm getting readjusted again. I have enjoyed my weekend so far and hoping that today is pretty fun and relaxing. Hope everyone has been doing okay.

Goldcoastgirl

Hi everyone, been reading some threads this morning that have been very humbling. I am here, that is about it for today. Take care my friends x

Odelle

GCG, you are here, still, which means you haven't given up. And you know what, we haven't given up on you neither. Others may not agree with me, but the first 6 weeks were the most difficult; if you can commit to six weeks and focus on the goal, it makes it doable, a goal that is realistically within reach. I really feel for you honey, I was where you are only four months ago, with continuous fails at half-hearted attempts. I don't know why it seems to have taken this time, maybe determination, which I can tell you have. We all know how hard it is GCG, so don't feel alone, you are not. It's time to push yourself to your limit because you can do it; you need to put everything you have into!

Goldcoastgirl

Thanks Odelle, I really needed to hear that. I need to really take a good hard look at myself. I am distressed that I have been wasting so much time. I started struggling with giving up about a year ago now. Time to take stock. X

Dee74

If you never give up you can never lose the fight GCG

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Goldcoastgirl

Thanks Dee. I am so blessed to have you guys on my side x

adee

We are in your corner, GCG. I really like Odelle's suggestion. What will get you past the point you where you give in each time? For me this time, it started with a goal of 90 days. I said I would go 90 days no matter what. If I wanted to drink after that, I was allowed. That idea staved off a lot of AVs in the beginning because I would just say - "not today", which was easier message than "not ever".

adee

Today I told my 13 year old daughter a little about my drinking, why I had quit and that I was going to AA. I was really nervous because sometimes she gets really uncomfortable with highly personal conversations. It went really well. I'm glad I did it because each person I have this conversation with makes it more real, and gives me a feeling that maybe I really am in this for the long haul this time.

I told her after church. She asked last week if we could start going to church and I found that there is a church down the street from us that is the same denomination as the one I grew up in but haven't attended as an adult. I found the service to be comforting and familiar, the music to be beautiful, and I felt such peace sitting next to my beautiful, inquisitive girl experiencing it all for the first time. Afterwards we walked to lunch together and I simply told her, "I'm grateful for you" to which she said, "oh mom, don't get all sappy on me." So I called her a brat and we split a tuna melt. She thanked me for taking her, several times, but I know I got much more out of it, and it is a gift of sobriety. The gift of becoming open to ideas, faith, belief and the good in people, as well as the ability to get up and get dressed on a Sunday morning with a clear head and conscience. I could not have fathomed doing something like this 4 months ago.

I am so grateful.

Dee74

Sounds like a great day adee

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halfvictory

That's sounds like an awesome day Adee.

I had a rough weekend but held on. Sitting at a neighbors house in a hot tub with all others drinking wasn't easy. I have become a coffee addict at this point and that's ok.

Have a strong and sober day everyone/

pcurley71

Good morning everyone. Been up for hours and just realized i hit the triple digits today. It has been tough. But i know i can do this. Ive been keeping it simple and hitting meeting almost every day. We cant do this alone. We need eachother in order to recover. Got court in two hours, not dwelling on it cus im doing things right. No matter what happens, it will happen for a reason!

Stay strong and sober everyone!

Goldcoastgirl

Morning guys. Well done Pcurley on hitting triple digits! Good luck with court today.

Adee, I love reading your beautifully written posts. You definitely should do something with that talent. Sober night for me, yay! Have a great day everyone x

halfvictory

Good Morning GCG; Good Evening folks in the U.S.

So want a drink..Just the time of the year but I find myself always holding off. Think other parts of life have me frustrated at the moment. I know drinking is not a solution but can't help thinking of just having a few.

I will be fighting tonight. Hope everyone has a good night

Dee74

Think of new and healthier ways to deal with that frustration half
Exercise helps me?

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adee

Hang in there everyone. I agree that finding new ways to cope is good - diversion works for me - anything that gives me a break from my own head which can be such an AV echo chamber if I listen too closely to the craziness inside. And exercise helps. When I look back at the last hard week, I see that I only exercised once. I'm sure that is part of why it was a harder week.

I'm missing Kris and her many positive messages. I hope she is ok.

nissan99

Sorry I've been out of touch lately all, it's been a rough couple of weeks, bought a pint of vodka last week (just wanted to experience it one more time) then I played the tape through. Brought it in the house, and as I poured it down the drain, I gagged at the smell, and doused the smell with pine sol…threw the bottle away and thought "that's just not me anymore." And went and took a long hot shower and felt better. Been good ever since…it's day 100+ for me now.