Moms and Mums Club 2013 Part 9
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,219
Hi Chickster...
Lulu is right, and covered all the highlights in terms of tips going forward. The most important tip being not to bee too hard on yourself.
Spending time beating yourself up over it is wasting valuable time that can be spent working on your strategy for the future!
A journal is a great idea...form two parts: written down negative aspects of your drinking, and the second section written down positives of life sober. Then you can refer back to BOTH during times of struggle!
Head up high hon, we are here with you!
Lulu is right, and covered all the highlights in terms of tips going forward. The most important tip being not to bee too hard on yourself.
Spending time beating yourself up over it is wasting valuable time that can be spent working on your strategy for the future!
A journal is a great idea...form two parts: written down negative aspects of your drinking, and the second section written down positives of life sober. Then you can refer back to BOTH during times of struggle!
Head up high hon, we are here with you!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Nazareth, PA
Posts: 453
Chickster - I'm so glad you came here for support after your slip. You held yourself in check, but I know it's scary to feel like you're at the mercy of your addiction. You are not, you know, and you identified the reason you gave into the urge. That'll help you next time. Do you read? Could you always keep a good book around so you can absorb yourself into the characters and perhaps not feel quite so alone?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Nazareth, PA
Posts: 453
Oops - hit enter...
Sissy - That is so sad about your puppies!!!!! We have a shepherd mix, and white shepherds are such amazing dogs. I'm so sorry their lives ended so abruptly, and can only imagine your relationship with your neighbor is tense.
I'm glad you got through your whole trip sober (and hope you get a vacation from that vacation!).
AFM - VERY packed day today. Woke up feeling sick and it was too cold to take the girls to the zoo, so we went shopping for a couch while hubby and a good neighbor torched the furnace in the basement. Then the girls and I met up with the neighbor's wife and kids at the local elementary school for a science fest, which was lots more fun than I expected! I invited her to drop her kids off at our place afterwards so she could get stuff done, and a friend came over to help the guys and brought his 2 girls, so there were 6 girls under the age of 7 under my watch today. Can I just say I understand why people have loads of kids? Watching 6 girls who are friends is infinitely easier than watching 2 of your own...
I've been having sort of out of the blue cravings lately, and they have gotten a little more bothersome. I'm worried I'm going to sabotage my 1 year anniversary (which is still 2 months away). Like today, while at the science thing, I thought "I would love a beer this afternoon." And my AV was really wily about it, pulling out all sorts of convincing arguments... 'you deserve it, you're a great wife and mother,' 'just today, and then tomorrow you'll go back to being sober,' 'it's a beautiful day.' I could taste that beer in my mouth and really, really wanted it. They've been getting stronger and more frequent over the past week or so. I can't throw this life away....
Sissy - That is so sad about your puppies!!!!! We have a shepherd mix, and white shepherds are such amazing dogs. I'm so sorry their lives ended so abruptly, and can only imagine your relationship with your neighbor is tense.
I'm glad you got through your whole trip sober (and hope you get a vacation from that vacation!).AFM - VERY packed day today. Woke up feeling sick and it was too cold to take the girls to the zoo, so we went shopping for a couch while hubby and a good neighbor torched the furnace in the basement. Then the girls and I met up with the neighbor's wife and kids at the local elementary school for a science fest, which was lots more fun than I expected! I invited her to drop her kids off at our place afterwards so she could get stuff done, and a friend came over to help the guys and brought his 2 girls, so there were 6 girls under the age of 7 under my watch today. Can I just say I understand why people have loads of kids? Watching 6 girls who are friends is infinitely easier than watching 2 of your own...
I've been having sort of out of the blue cravings lately, and they have gotten a little more bothersome. I'm worried I'm going to sabotage my 1 year anniversary (which is still 2 months away). Like today, while at the science thing, I thought "I would love a beer this afternoon." And my AV was really wily about it, pulling out all sorts of convincing arguments... 'you deserve it, you're a great wife and mother,' 'just today, and then tomorrow you'll go back to being sober,' 'it's a beautiful day.' I could taste that beer in my mouth and really, really wanted it. They've been getting stronger and more frequent over the past week or so. I can't throw this life away....
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,219
I hear ya Bebetter...
I am a few days out from my 1 year anniversary, and had a trying weekend with my daughter behavior wise, leading to a moment of craving this evening. We decided to order take out from a restaurant near us, and this place was a regular spot during my drinking days. Then, instead of calling in the order and picking it up, I would go, sit at the bar and have a glass of wine while I "thought about" what I wanted to order. I would have glass #2 while I waited for the food (and quietly pray they were slow and "force" me to order glass #3)!
Well tonight as I stood there waiting for them to bag our food, I noticed a woman sitting there by herself reading a book while she munched on some bread and oil while sipping wine, and I couldn't help but recall with longing my old escape from it all routine.
I grabbed my food and left.
Then later on Faceboook, I saw a picture of my cousin posing with his two young children. This cousin is also an alcoholic, but still drinking. Although he is younger than me (in his 30's), he looks so very old, and worse...he looks sick. In short, he looks like I used to look...dull complexion, shadowy eyes etc. he looked rail thin too:-(
I guess I don't miss my old "escape", when I am reminded of what that escape could cost me....my health!
So glad to be sober!
I am a few days out from my 1 year anniversary, and had a trying weekend with my daughter behavior wise, leading to a moment of craving this evening. We decided to order take out from a restaurant near us, and this place was a regular spot during my drinking days. Then, instead of calling in the order and picking it up, I would go, sit at the bar and have a glass of wine while I "thought about" what I wanted to order. I would have glass #2 while I waited for the food (and quietly pray they were slow and "force" me to order glass #3)!
Well tonight as I stood there waiting for them to bag our food, I noticed a woman sitting there by herself reading a book while she munched on some bread and oil while sipping wine, and I couldn't help but recall with longing my old escape from it all routine.
I grabbed my food and left.
Then later on Faceboook, I saw a picture of my cousin posing with his two young children. This cousin is also an alcoholic, but still drinking. Although he is younger than me (in his 30's), he looks so very old, and worse...he looks sick. In short, he looks like I used to look...dull complexion, shadowy eyes etc. he looked rail thin too:-(
I guess I don't miss my old "escape", when I am reminded of what that escape could cost me....my health!
So glad to be sober!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 506
Hi girls.
Chick great you came back. Keep trying, don't give up. This is one big learning experience that's for sure.
Awesome tips Lulu. I keep meaning to check out smart recovery.
Wow dolly nearly a year for you!!! Wooo! Well done on resisting too.
Chick great you came back. Keep trying, don't give up. This is one big learning experience that's for sure.
Awesome tips Lulu. I keep meaning to check out smart recovery.
Wow dolly nearly a year for you!!! Wooo! Well done on resisting too.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 60
Hi. Thanks everyone for the kind words. I just feel like such a loser for dipping into it again, when I know how destructive it can be for me.
I was tempted to just not to mention it, but also know a key step in this journey is going to be complete, brutal honesty. And somehow having a witness (you guys) keeps me accountable in a way that nothing else does.
Lulu, AA's not my thing, but I did check out smart and that feels like a better fit for me. Will check out the rational.org site too. Will try starting a journal and keep on the search for a therapist too.
Trying to remind myself of a saying someone told me once - it's not about how high you reach or how far you fall, but it's how well you bounce that matters. Trying to practice my bouncing today.
I was tempted to just not to mention it, but also know a key step in this journey is going to be complete, brutal honesty. And somehow having a witness (you guys) keeps me accountable in a way that nothing else does.
Lulu, AA's not my thing, but I did check out smart and that feels like a better fit for me. Will check out the rational.org site too. Will try starting a journal and keep on the search for a therapist too.
Trying to remind myself of a saying someone told me once - it's not about how high you reach or how far you fall, but it's how well you bounce that matters. Trying to practice my bouncing today.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 167
Chick.... No one here will judge ... We are here to support one another and I am grateful for your honesty... I had a slip as well one night a few weeks ago and had to take a long hard look at myself ..... But that being said I got up and dusted my ass off and started all over again.... I think we are a in agreement with Lulus suggestions ... Really good stuff there... I do my recovery based off AA and have a sponsor who I must call daily and I do most of my recovery work online.... While I appear to be a very social and outgoing person I actually am quite anxious and shy without my former best friend Pinot Grigio by my side and have issues with face to face AA meetings... I did however go to my old homegroup meeting while I was back in my old town and felt so at ease..... Also found out one of my favorite old timers who had 17 yrs sober fell off the wagon and drank for 4 months and was just 5 days sober again when I saw him. If that doesn't go to show u just how powerful this addiction is I don't know what will! I was floored to say the least..... Got the kids back to school today and am going to unpack our bags and so laundry then run to grocery and farm stand to get what I need to make some dinner tonight ..... I am exhausted from travel, emotions, company and feel a bit depressed today so I am goin to take it easy and just take it one step at a time. Hope all the ladies are doing well!!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,074
Hi mommies,
I hear you all about urges around anniversaries. I tend to have urges even when I hit the 3 month mark, which is coming up in a few days for me. I haven't really had any bad urges lately though, so I'm happy about that. In fact, I went to Target today and totally forgot that they even had wine until I walked out the door!
We had a great weekend here. It was really busy, but I like it like that. We went on a picnic with friends on Saturday and then my husband joined me on a 4 mile walk on Sunday. Today I met up with several moms from my area that I met on a local moms group on Facebook. I made a few new friends and I'm excited about it. I don't have very many friends here, and I've always been pretty bad at making friends. I'm quite introverted. But one thing that I have really worked on with my sobriety is change. Big changes and little changes. I've forced myself to try new things and do things a little differently. I figure that my old ways were what got me into this whole mess anyway. So, I had a good time and hopefully I can meet up with these girls again soon. As for that other friend, I haven't heard from her since our phone chat. I think I'll just distance myself and let that relationship peter out on its own.
Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well. Take care!
I hear you all about urges around anniversaries. I tend to have urges even when I hit the 3 month mark, which is coming up in a few days for me. I haven't really had any bad urges lately though, so I'm happy about that. In fact, I went to Target today and totally forgot that they even had wine until I walked out the door!
We had a great weekend here. It was really busy, but I like it like that. We went on a picnic with friends on Saturday and then my husband joined me on a 4 mile walk on Sunday. Today I met up with several moms from my area that I met on a local moms group on Facebook. I made a few new friends and I'm excited about it. I don't have very many friends here, and I've always been pretty bad at making friends. I'm quite introverted. But one thing that I have really worked on with my sobriety is change. Big changes and little changes. I've forced myself to try new things and do things a little differently. I figure that my old ways were what got me into this whole mess anyway. So, I had a good time and hopefully I can meet up with these girls again soon. As for that other friend, I haven't heard from her since our phone chat. I think I'll just distance myself and let that relationship peter out on its own.
Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well. Take care!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,313
Hi ladies,
Sorry to hear about your slip chickster, but as everyone pointed out - no judgement here as we have all been there. Especially me. Next time I would recommend coming here when you are really struggling, before you take that trip to the liquor store, etc. We will most likely talk you out of it
I know you are worried about your hubby going away next week so stick close to us and we'll get you through it.
BeBetter, hope you are doing ok. I know what it's like to have cravings come at you all of a sudden and out of the blue. It is very unnerving. You have done so well and I know you can make it to a year and beyond
Just keep talking to us.
Have had a busy few days and I seem to be getting more and more tired. I feel great and full of energy in the mornings, but by the time 3 or 4 rolls around I am just utterly exhausted and moody. I guess that's a good sign? Have my first ultrasound a week from today so getting very anxious.
Anyway, that's about it for now. Hope you are all doing well. Xxxx
Sorry to hear about your slip chickster, but as everyone pointed out - no judgement here as we have all been there. Especially me. Next time I would recommend coming here when you are really struggling, before you take that trip to the liquor store, etc. We will most likely talk you out of it
I know you are worried about your hubby going away next week so stick close to us and we'll get you through it.BeBetter, hope you are doing ok. I know what it's like to have cravings come at you all of a sudden and out of the blue. It is very unnerving. You have done so well and I know you can make it to a year and beyond
Just keep talking to us.Have had a busy few days and I seem to be getting more and more tired. I feel great and full of energy in the mornings, but by the time 3 or 4 rolls around I am just utterly exhausted and moody. I guess that's a good sign? Have my first ultrasound a week from today so getting very anxious.
Anyway, that's about it for now. Hope you are all doing well. Xxxx
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 369
Hi Mommies! We've returned from vacation late last night and I'm still playing catch up today at work and at home. Regardless of how wonderful the trip was, its always great to be home. I'm going back and will read the last week of postings from you ladies but wanted to check in. Today is 90 days for me...I cannot believe its 90 days. I made it through our entire vacation - i did want some drinks here and there but I just thought about waking up hungover. It doesn't take much to get back to that blurry eyed, pounding headache, pit in the stomach feeling that is never far from the first glass.
Okay ladies... I'm going to get to reading...
XOXOX
Okay ladies... I'm going to get to reading...
XOXOX
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 316
Sissy- so sorry to hear about your puppies! So sad! They are such lovely dogs and so young! I cannot imagine going through that. I hope you are doing okay.
Newstar-nice job on not drinking with your friend. I've been planning in my head my next move when I see my drinking buddies! Not sure if I will say no.
Chickster- I will try the herbal remedy you talked about. St. John's wort? I need something to relax. I'm sorry about your slip. How did it feel? Was it worth it? I always wonder.
If I weren't with my daughter at the airport yesterday I would have walked straight into the bar in Las Vegas and drank 3 pints of beer but she wasn't allowed. The trailblazers were playing and that's my trigger. When we were driving home I almost stopped at the store then realized oh yeah, I don't drink anymore. Kinda made me sad. But I look so much better! That's keeping me from drinking.
We had an amazing weekend! It was great seeing old friends! They don't drink!!!! We had amazing conversations about all their world travel. I wish my hubby could have joined us but he was in conferences the whole time. I understand his drinking when traveling. If I were alone I would have.
I missed you all while away! I'm sugar addicted right now. I've got to eat better tomorrow. Xox
Newstar-nice job on not drinking with your friend. I've been planning in my head my next move when I see my drinking buddies! Not sure if I will say no.
Chickster- I will try the herbal remedy you talked about. St. John's wort? I need something to relax. I'm sorry about your slip. How did it feel? Was it worth it? I always wonder.
If I weren't with my daughter at the airport yesterday I would have walked straight into the bar in Las Vegas and drank 3 pints of beer but she wasn't allowed. The trailblazers were playing and that's my trigger. When we were driving home I almost stopped at the store then realized oh yeah, I don't drink anymore. Kinda made me sad. But I look so much better! That's keeping me from drinking.
We had an amazing weekend! It was great seeing old friends! They don't drink!!!! We had amazing conversations about all their world travel. I wish my hubby could have joined us but he was in conferences the whole time. I understand his drinking when traveling. If I were alone I would have.
I missed you all while away! I'm sugar addicted right now. I've got to eat better tomorrow. Xox
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 167
My diet has been horrid. I crave sweets 24/7!! I eat tons of ice cream at night and this bakery up the street from my house sees me far too often.... Happy to be settling back in at my home and had an easy and eventful day which is my favorite kind of day. I still have issues with all the wine they have at target as it seems to be everywhere lately and all the fun cutesy labels they have there make it look so innocuous and fun... Can they ease make a label with skull and crossbones on it? Or a pic of me with my head on the toilet seat??... Lmao!!!!
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,219
One year ago tonight after my husband tucked our daughter in bed, he came downstairs and sat next to me on the couch, and said "I have to say something." I of course was holding a glass of Merlot (which was likely my 3rd or 4th of the night), and braced myself for what I had a feeling would be about my drinking.
I was right...although he had never once mentioned my drinking had bothered him in the past....I just KNEW that was going to be the night.
He was very nervous, and told me how concerned he was, and that he knew I sometimes drank in the morning (ah...yep, try every morning), and that he thought I was drinking too much.
I told him he was correct, and that I knew I had a problem, and that I needed to do something. I got up off the couch and dumped my wine in the sink and started to head to bed. He asked if I wanted to talk about it, and I said no. I was too embarrassed! There was not much to talk about anyway...I wasn't arguing with him and agreed fully that I had a problem and needed to fix it.
I then went to bed fully expecting a night of no sleep. You see, when I was drinking I suffered from insomnia on a good day, so figured this new bomb being dropped on me would keep my Ming racing all night.
Shockingly, I laid down next to my daughter (she usually sleeps with me), and a certain calm came over me. I heard my husband going to bed in the other room, and then quickly went downstairs and dumped all the wine and brandy in the house down the drain, and went back to bed.
I quickly fell asleep and had the best nights sleep in a very long time. In a way, I think I was relieved to finally be "forced" to stop.
The next day (April 30th), I began my journey of sobriety, and am so very blessed to be on the eve of my 1 year anniversary, a much happier and healthier woman!
That night seems so long ago, and at the same time...like it was only yesterday.
Hugs to all my mom friends, you are my rock!
Chat later over tea and chocolate:-)
I was right...although he had never once mentioned my drinking had bothered him in the past....I just KNEW that was going to be the night.
He was very nervous, and told me how concerned he was, and that he knew I sometimes drank in the morning (ah...yep, try every morning), and that he thought I was drinking too much.
I told him he was correct, and that I knew I had a problem, and that I needed to do something. I got up off the couch and dumped my wine in the sink and started to head to bed. He asked if I wanted to talk about it, and I said no. I was too embarrassed! There was not much to talk about anyway...I wasn't arguing with him and agreed fully that I had a problem and needed to fix it.
I then went to bed fully expecting a night of no sleep. You see, when I was drinking I suffered from insomnia on a good day, so figured this new bomb being dropped on me would keep my Ming racing all night.
Shockingly, I laid down next to my daughter (she usually sleeps with me), and a certain calm came over me. I heard my husband going to bed in the other room, and then quickly went downstairs and dumped all the wine and brandy in the house down the drain, and went back to bed.
I quickly fell asleep and had the best nights sleep in a very long time. In a way, I think I was relieved to finally be "forced" to stop.
The next day (April 30th), I began my journey of sobriety, and am so very blessed to be on the eve of my 1 year anniversary, a much happier and healthier woman!
That night seems so long ago, and at the same time...like it was only yesterday.
Hugs to all my mom friends, you are my rock!
Chat later over tea and chocolate:-)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 316
Dolly- That's a beautiful story! I'm so proud of you! One year is amazing. I love what you said about being relieved. It is nice when you don't have to worry about your next drink, especially when you are staying with others like I did in Las Vegas. Hiding alcohol feels shameful. No more! Nice job Dolly!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,074
Congratulations on 90 days Babs! That's a huge accomplishment! You should reward yourself with something like a new outfit or a pedicure.
Lucy I'm glad you didn't drink at the airport. I know sometimes it seems a little sad to not drink anymore, but I think that's just your AV talking. Really, is it that sad? What are you missing out on?
Every once in a while I miss drinking, and then I think about all the grief it caused me. Man, I used to go to work with the shakes. Do you know how hard it is to start an IV or even draw up medication with the shakes? It was so shameful. Then I'd come home and get so wasted that I'd black out and the next day forget every conversation I had had. I still can't believe that I was unable to see how bad it had gotten. All for what? So I could relax a little? So I could forget how miserable my life was, when alcohol was the reason I was so miserable in the first place? Thank you, no. That AV can go straight to hell because it's full of ********.
Moving on... nothing really to report here. I inadvertently went for a 4 mile jog this morning. I had intended on going only 3 miles but I missed a turn and got lost. But it's ok, it's a beautiful day and baby loves to go for walks/jogs. He is having a nap now and I'm just waiting for hubby to get home. I hope everyone is well!
Lucy I'm glad you didn't drink at the airport. I know sometimes it seems a little sad to not drink anymore, but I think that's just your AV talking. Really, is it that sad? What are you missing out on?
Every once in a while I miss drinking, and then I think about all the grief it caused me. Man, I used to go to work with the shakes. Do you know how hard it is to start an IV or even draw up medication with the shakes? It was so shameful. Then I'd come home and get so wasted that I'd black out and the next day forget every conversation I had had. I still can't believe that I was unable to see how bad it had gotten. All for what? So I could relax a little? So I could forget how miserable my life was, when alcohol was the reason I was so miserable in the first place? Thank you, no. That AV can go straight to hell because it's full of ********.
Moving on... nothing really to report here. I inadvertently went for a 4 mile jog this morning. I had intended on going only 3 miles but I missed a turn and got lost. But it's ok, it's a beautiful day and baby loves to go for walks/jogs. He is having a nap now and I'm just waiting for hubby to get home. I hope everyone is well!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 316
Lulu- You are so right! It would have been much sadder to randomly drink at the airport. For what? I'd just want more and then I would have had to drive home! Then I would have needed more once I got there!!! Vicious cycle! A walk sounds like a lovely day:-)
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