Class Of March 2014 Part 4
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Southern California
Posts: 554
Originally Posted by MrFixit63 
I just got triggered by a delivery truck
The picture of the corona and the pretty girl on the beach on this truck was very tempting
The picture of the corona and the pretty girl on the beach on this truck was very tempting
You are stronger than that
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: London, United Kingdom
Posts: 273
Hi sober SR friends,
So how many of you have a partner/spouse who has a completely normal, uncomplicated relationship with alcohol?
I do, he can take it or leave it - often the latter, two glasses of wine tops and rarely on a weekday.
He has been very supportive about my new sobriety and has infact joined me in not drinking and keeping the home wine free since I stopped.
But he threw me earlier when he asked when it would be okay for him to have a glass or two at weekends again, ie bring wine into the house.
The honest answer - which he got - was "I don't know, not yet."
He isn't being impatient about this at all, and will go along with whatever works for me as he knows how important it is to and for me to get sober.
How do other people navigate this? I feel guilty that for now, my addiction is taking something away from him that he really enjoys very responsibly.
Thoughts and experience would be appreciated. Thanks!
So how many of you have a partner/spouse who has a completely normal, uncomplicated relationship with alcohol?
I do, he can take it or leave it - often the latter, two glasses of wine tops and rarely on a weekday.
He has been very supportive about my new sobriety and has infact joined me in not drinking and keeping the home wine free since I stopped.
But he threw me earlier when he asked when it would be okay for him to have a glass or two at weekends again, ie bring wine into the house.
The honest answer - which he got - was "I don't know, not yet."
He isn't being impatient about this at all, and will go along with whatever works for me as he knows how important it is to and for me to get sober.
How do other people navigate this? I feel guilty that for now, my addiction is taking something away from him that he really enjoys very responsibly.
Thoughts and experience would be appreciated. Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 2,107
Originally Posted by Shoshie8
Hi sober SR friends,
So how many of you have a partner/spouse who has a completely normal, uncomplicated relationship with alcohol?
I do, he can take it or leave it - often the latter, two glasses of wine tops and rarely on a weekday.
He has been very supportive about my new sobriety and has infact joined me in not drinking and keeping the home wine free since I stopped.
But he threw me earlier when he asked when it would be okay for him to have a glass or two at weekends again, ie bring wine into the house.
The honest answer - which he got - was "I don't know, not yet."
He isn't being impatient about this at all, and will go along with whatever works for me as he knows how important it is to and for me to get sober.
How do other people navigate this? I feel guilty that for now, my addiction is taking something away from him that he really enjoys very responsibly.
Thoughts and experience would be appreciated. Thanks!
So how many of you have a partner/spouse who has a completely normal, uncomplicated relationship with alcohol?
I do, he can take it or leave it - often the latter, two glasses of wine tops and rarely on a weekday.
He has been very supportive about my new sobriety and has infact joined me in not drinking and keeping the home wine free since I stopped.
But he threw me earlier when he asked when it would be okay for him to have a glass or two at weekends again, ie bring wine into the house.
The honest answer - which he got - was "I don't know, not yet."
He isn't being impatient about this at all, and will go along with whatever works for me as he knows how important it is to and for me to get sober.
How do other people navigate this? I feel guilty that for now, my addiction is taking something away from him that he really enjoys very responsibly.
Thoughts and experience would be appreciated. Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Originally Posted by MrFixit63
I just got triggered by a delivery truck
The picture of the corona and the pretty girl on the beach on this truck was very tempting
The picture of the corona and the pretty girl on the beach on this truck was very tempting
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: London, United Kingdom
Posts: 273
Originally Posted by MrFixit63
I don't see any reason that he could not hang out in the garage or shop and have a couple beers or wine like they say out of sight out of mind
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Originally Posted by Shoshie8
Hi sober SR friends,
So how many of you have a partner/spouse who has a completely normal, uncomplicated relationship with alcohol?
I do, he can take it or leave it - often the latter, two glasses of wine tops and rarely on a weekday.
He has been very supportive about my new sobriety and has infact joined me in not drinking and keeping the home wine free since I stopped.
But he threw me earlier when he asked when it would be okay for him to have a glass or two at weekends again, ie bring wine into the house.
The honest answer - which he got - was "I don't know, not yet."
He isn't being impatient about this at all, and will go along with whatever works for me as he knows how important it is to and for me to get sober.
How do other people navigate this? I feel guilty that for now, my addiction is taking something away from him that he really enjoys very responsibly.
Thoughts and experience would be appreciated. Thanks!
So how many of you have a partner/spouse who has a completely normal, uncomplicated relationship with alcohol?
I do, he can take it or leave it - often the latter, two glasses of wine tops and rarely on a weekday.
He has been very supportive about my new sobriety and has infact joined me in not drinking and keeping the home wine free since I stopped.
But he threw me earlier when he asked when it would be okay for him to have a glass or two at weekends again, ie bring wine into the house.
The honest answer - which he got - was "I don't know, not yet."
He isn't being impatient about this at all, and will go along with whatever works for me as he knows how important it is to and for me to get sober.
How do other people navigate this? I feel guilty that for now, my addiction is taking something away from him that he really enjoys very responsibly.
Thoughts and experience would be appreciated. Thanks!
Shoshie, I hate to be blunt but your staying sober trumps any slight inconvenience for your husband to not have a few glasses of wine on the weekends in the house. If he can take it or leave it he should "leave it" for at least the next few weekends. Just my humble opinion.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: London, United Kingdom
Posts: 273
Originally Posted by calichris
Shoshie, I hate to be blunt but your staying sober trumps any slight inconvenience for your husband to not have a few glasses of wine on the weekends in the house. If he can take it or leave it he should "leave it" for at least the next few weekends. Just my humble opinion.
He's fine with this for the next few weekends, i was just curious how other relatively newly sober people managed longer term without insisting on prohibition.
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Happy Friday, my fellow Marchers!
I love coming to this thread and reading what's going on with everyone. I wish I had some exciting stories to share but I live a dull life.
I don't think that drinking made my life more fun or exciting. I think it gave me the illusion of things being better than they are, myself included. I've found my mood had stabilized and I'm upbeat and happy now. I'm finding joy in things that used to make me happy until the poison took over my life. Chris, the image of you and your daughter dancing is spectacular. You're leaving her with a great memory of dancing with daddy. I still have of those myself. Kopfan, your friends are going to get the whole you while playing cards. Enjoying life is what it's about.
Shoshie, I have to agree with Chris. I'd ask him to give you more time sober before he brings anything in the house. Just be open and honest about your concerns. I'm sure he will respect your opinions and want you to continue to be sober.
MrFixit, I had the same thing happen to me on the way to my doctor to fess up about my drinking. It was a Corona truck, no girl (not that I would have noticed that anyways) and it made me start thinking about drinking and I don't even like beer.
This is my third sober weekend. I have a couple of plans. I'm still having issues with insomnia; I think it's been five days now. I'm getting frustrated with myself because I'm sleeping later than I'd like because of it. The brain fog comes and goes as well as the burning mouth thing. The disembodied feeling doesn't last long and comes and goes as well.
I'm so glad to have all of you in my life. It's great to find such acceptance and support from people. I always used to be so lonely.
Anyways, have a great day! Looking forward to hearing from you all!
I love coming to this thread and reading what's going on with everyone. I wish I had some exciting stories to share but I live a dull life.
I don't think that drinking made my life more fun or exciting. I think it gave me the illusion of things being better than they are, myself included. I've found my mood had stabilized and I'm upbeat and happy now. I'm finding joy in things that used to make me happy until the poison took over my life. Chris, the image of you and your daughter dancing is spectacular. You're leaving her with a great memory of dancing with daddy. I still have of those myself. Kopfan, your friends are going to get the whole you while playing cards. Enjoying life is what it's about.
Shoshie, I have to agree with Chris. I'd ask him to give you more time sober before he brings anything in the house. Just be open and honest about your concerns. I'm sure he will respect your opinions and want you to continue to be sober.
MrFixit, I had the same thing happen to me on the way to my doctor to fess up about my drinking. It was a Corona truck, no girl (not that I would have noticed that anyways) and it made me start thinking about drinking and I don't even like beer.
This is my third sober weekend. I have a couple of plans. I'm still having issues with insomnia; I think it's been five days now. I'm getting frustrated with myself because I'm sleeping later than I'd like because of it. The brain fog comes and goes as well as the burning mouth thing. The disembodied feeling doesn't last long and comes and goes as well.
I'm so glad to have all of you in my life. It's great to find such acceptance and support from people. I always used to be so lonely.
Anyways, have a great day! Looking forward to hearing from you all!
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Originally Posted by toddle118
Ah, sweet Aarry, you have a great weekend chick, youre doing so well, hope the sleeping thing sorts itself out soon x
The sun is out but it's kind of chilly. Tomorrow, I'm going to go do some nice stuff for myself. I'm thinking I'm going to get my hair trimmed and my eyebrows done.
Enjoying the company of my kitties right now. The 20 pounder is sitting on my lap keeping me warm.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 385
Originally Posted by Aarryckha
This is my third sober weekend. I have a couple of plans. I'm still having issues with insomnia; I think it's been five days now. I'm getting frustrated with myself because I'm sleeping later than I'd like because of it. The brain fog comes and goes as well as the burning mouth thing. The disembodied feeling doesn't last long and comes and goes as well.
I've also come off the original high of being sober and having sleep issues and also some "out of body" experiences.
If it helps, and I know you are doing this, read everything you can on here about withdrawal and how the symptoms DO go away. It seems to help me anyway.
I guess we can't hide from life and there will be good and bad days generally speaking. I'm just so happy that I can tackle the bad days sober, as doing it drunk was a disaster waiting to happen.
As you say focus on what makes you happy. Creating a new life full of exciting sober things will not happen overnight so moving from dull withdrawn alcoholic life to exciting sober one is gonna take time. I keep reminding myself of this too as mine is also quite dull.
Small steps.... oh and don't forget *ring ring* if things get too hard for you.
Cheers luv
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 1,049
Originally Posted by Shoshie8
Grateful - you sound better! Be kind to yourself, not easy to find time to relax as a working parent which is when I would take a bottle of wine shortcut, but exhaustion is when my mental guard drops. Bath, book, bed. If you can x
Let's all appreciate it sober x
Let's all appreciate it sober x
You hit the nail on the head. I would definitely go to bottle(s) of wine as my "shortcut" relaxation from stress. You are right, exhaustion is my biggest trigger and like you said it is extra dangerous because I can't even think clearly. I really appreciate the advice of bath, book, bed. I need to make that my new "go to" habit. Sometimes I have to wait hours just to get home since I'm not driving but if I can decide beforehand that when I get home I have the bath and book to look forward to then maybe the cravings will lighten during the witching hour after work.
Hope you enjoy your weekend!
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Thanks, Looking. I really appreciate your post. Honestly, my biggest issue is the sleeping. I'm being patient with my body. Goodness knows I've done damage to myself with all the poison I dumped down my throat. I notice small improvements every day.
Has anyone had success with natural sleep aids? Suggestions?
Has anyone had success with natural sleep aids? Suggestions?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 385
Originally Posted by Aarryckha
Has anyone had success with natural sleep aids? Suggestions?
Kava, valerian, melatonin, etc....
What I found is they worked for a day, maybe 2 max, then my body got used to them and I was back to square one.
Probably the most effective thing I found was resistance training. Cardio training tended to leave me feel a bit too buzzed. But even then it isn't a guarantee.
For me I've just come to accept the fact that I'm not "good" at sleeping. At least that way I don't walk around the next morning beating myself up because I couldn't sleep. So I sleep when I'm tired and get up when I can't sleep. Have you thought you may just be one of those people in a million that doesn't need much?
Maybe some others have found some long term solution, thanks for the question I look forward to seeing what others have experienced.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: deepest england
Posts: 1,119
Hi everyone, been sooo busy so been away from here for a few days, but am still sober... 2 weeks ago today was the last time I drank, and what a feckin mess that was! Will be sober tomorrow morning, am looking forward to it.. hope I start to get more energy soon....
Happy weekend x
Happy weekend x
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Originally Posted by Looking4Help123
Oh I've tried all sorts,
Kava, valerian, melatonin, etc....
What I found is they worked for a day, maybe 2 max, then my body got used to them and I was back to square one.
Probably the most effective thing I found was resistance training. Cardio training tended to leave me feel a bit too buzzed. But even then it isn't a guarantee.
For me I've just come to accept the fact that I'm not "good" at sleeping. At least that way I don't walk around the next morning beating myself up because I couldn't sleep. So I sleep when I'm tired and get up when I can't sleep. Have you thought you may just be one of those people in a million that doesn't need much?
Maybe some others have found some long term solution, thanks for the question I look forward to seeing what others have experienced.
Kava, valerian, melatonin, etc....
What I found is they worked for a day, maybe 2 max, then my body got used to them and I was back to square one.
Probably the most effective thing I found was resistance training. Cardio training tended to leave me feel a bit too buzzed. But even then it isn't a guarantee.
For me I've just come to accept the fact that I'm not "good" at sleeping. At least that way I don't walk around the next morning beating myself up because I couldn't sleep. So I sleep when I'm tired and get up when I can't sleep. Have you thought you may just be one of those people in a million that doesn't need much?
Maybe some others have found some long term solution, thanks for the question I look forward to seeing what others have experienced.
I very well could be someone that doesn't need much sleep. To be honest, it's been so long since I haven't had liquor or prescription meds in me, I don't remember what it's like to try to sleep without some kind of chemical in my body.
I know Biminiblue has a nightly glass of milk but I'm lactose intolerant so that option is out for me.
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Originally Posted by enfinthechange
Hi everyone, been sooo busy so been away from here for a few days, but am still sober... 2 weeks ago today was the last time I drank, and what a feckin mess that was! Will be sober tomorrow morning, am looking forward to it.. hope I start to get more energy soon....
Happy weekend x
Happy weekend x
Congrats on two weeks! Keep it up!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: London, United Kingdom
Posts: 273
Originally Posted by Aarryckha
Thanks, Looking. I really appreciate your post. Honestly, my biggest issue is the sleeping. I'm being patient with my body. Goodness knows I've done damage to myself with all the poison I dumped down my throat. I notice small improvements every day. Has anyone had success with natural sleep aids? Suggestions?
So sorry you're having to go through insomnia but it will pass. If you want to try herbal remedies, valerian and hops are good for mild insomnia, but I haven't had much luck with them as mine isn't mild.
Nutritional supplements to take with warm milk at night are GABA and 5-HTP. GABA is vital for the brain's sleep function which gets thrown out by alcohol, 5-HTP is a building block for happy hormone seratonin. They occur naturally in the body but with all things, let your doc know. I think GABA works well for me personally.
You can get Melatonin OTC in the US which I hear can be effective. Medical caution does apply here though as it is a powerful neuro-hormone and is banned from OTC sale in the UK. My GP is only allowed to prescribe it for over 55s so can't say i've tried it.
Have you tried guided relaxation/hypnosis? If you are an Apple gal, look up Andrew Johnson in the app store. He has a series of recordings for sleep, relaxation, quitting drinking etc.. which I highly recommend. You can try a free demo version, he has the most relaxing voice I have ever heard!
Getting out for a walk for at least 90 mins makes a huge difference to sleep in the evening. Difficult when you're sleep deprived, but worth it. Finally, try not to nap for more than 45 mins during the day as it will throw out your sleep pattern that night.
I really wish I didn't know all of that stuff. Sweet dreams! x
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