Class of September 2013 - Part 27
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 567
1step so glad you back and posting it's a positive sign take lessons from what your slip taught you drinking will never get us anywhere but further along into the alcoholic disease I am starting to think of it as I am allergic to it best treat it as a nut allergy it can and will kill you. Hope you feeling better today x
Perpetual Optimist
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: LA
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by rochele 
Onestep, hang in there. I am sorry you are hurting so much. Rest and heal and stay with it. How about getting back to AA, since you had help with that before?
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Question:
What do you bring in place of wine when you go to a home for dinner or a party, where you feel you really should bring something. I am inviyed to a home tonight. It is a cooking class type of event, and it is free for me, as a guest of someone who paid for the event, though that person is not the host. I do know the host as well, and it is the first time I am going to her home socially, so I would typically bring a nice bottle of wine.
Sometimes, I have gifted a hostess with a piece of the jewelry I make, but this woman does not wear much jewelry.
I don't really have a problem bringing a bottle of wine, but, as I know it will be served. I will be around it tonight anyway. But, looking for other ideas as well. Flowers, of course. A candle? Bring on your ideas!
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Question:
What do you bring in place of wine when you go to a home for dinner or a party, where you feel you really should bring something. I am inviyed to a home tonight. It is a cooking class type of event, and it is free for me, as a guest of someone who paid for the event, though that person is not the host. I do know the host as well, and it is the first time I am going to her home socially, so I would typically bring a nice bottle of wine.
Sometimes, I have gifted a hostess with a piece of the jewelry I make, but this woman does not wear much jewelry.
I don't really have a problem bringing a bottle of wine, but, as I know it will be served. I will be around it tonight anyway. But, looking for other ideas as well. Flowers, of course. A candle? Bring on your ideas!
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 567
ForumRunner_20140301_193200.jpg
1step why do our parents make us wear this lol I was 3 my doll is called Myfanwy and I still have her up my loft lol
1step why do our parents make us wear this lol I was 3 my doll is called Myfanwy and I still have her up my loft lol
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Thanks for the ideas, ladies! The evening is actually a candy making class, so sweet treats will be made and consumed, I am guessing. The fancy olive/truffle oils are a great idea and this host is very into cooking! I may try to get out to get that! Generally, I do also bring a dessert item somewhere, especially when we go as a family. My daughter has food allergies so I try to bring a fun thing for all, that also allows her to have a safe treat. So, used to do ing that.
I do not have time to shop for this event, and will figure something out, but I wanted a go-to list for the future. I think I may have a few nice candle items around. I could give a bottle of wine, but I feel like I send a mixed message doing that. Th emore I hate alcohol and what is does to people I care so very much about(all of you here!!), the more I want to NOT promote its comsumption.
I do not have time to shop for this event, and will figure something out, but I wanted a go-to list for the future. I think I may have a few nice candle items around. I could give a bottle of wine, but I feel like I send a mixed message doing that. Th emore I hate alcohol and what is does to people I care so very much about(all of you here!!), the more I want to NOT promote its comsumption.
Velveteen Rabbit
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: San Diego, Cali
Posts: 2,661
Originally Posted by 1stepup
Well done on your chip Brooksie,
Still here, getting through the day still not much eaten but drank plenty of water, its weird when my head clears a bit I realise how stupid ive been, more than the physical pain its the mental side that takes me time to get right again- what was I thinking?!!! Was going to go up to my dads farm but i haven't heard from him today and i feel too fragile to call him in case he makes me feel worse.
Spoke to ex earlier and we've agreed for me to see my girls again next saturday so ive got a week to get back to my best. Il look forward and aim for that now.
Need to think long and hard about the best options for me to stay sober in future, where did i go wrong last time? I called the wrong people, I had that first drink on a friday evening instead of going to an AA meeting, after that 4 day slip I went through step one with my sponsor type friend and seeing it written down in black and white, i knew once and for all im alcoholic, and i panicked, i was scared of delving deeper into the bad stuff of the past because of revisiting those feelings. And by then id lost my three and a half month sobriety time.
I went up to my dads and had a good hardworking time up there he was talking about our future and how dissappointing it is for him that ive ended up the way i am- he wasnt being nasty just trying to shake me out of it all, I desperately wanted to be 'normal' and be the son he could be proud of. The father my kids could be proud of.
I had conflicting opinions going around my head, my sponsor said that in a way i had a foot in both camps, the friends that had left AA and those that were still in, my head felt like it was going to explode. Started reading stuff on the internet supporting what the ones that had left had said putting me off AA even more, my brain wanted to drink again and this was the answer it came up with: il leave AA and this site because i had been obsessing too much about it!!
What a mistake that was, im not blaming anyone for my actions and ultimately i chose to drink, im just trying to make sure i dont keep making the same mistakes. Part of me is angry at those that had left AA but things haven't got as bad for them so it would be easier for them to keep trying to control their drinking. Was I in denial? Yeah i knew from going through the step 1 that i was doomed, there is no grey area, its clear cut im an alcoholic.
Still here, getting through the day still not much eaten but drank plenty of water, its weird when my head clears a bit I realise how stupid ive been, more than the physical pain its the mental side that takes me time to get right again- what was I thinking?!!! Was going to go up to my dads farm but i haven't heard from him today and i feel too fragile to call him in case he makes me feel worse.
Spoke to ex earlier and we've agreed for me to see my girls again next saturday so ive got a week to get back to my best. Il look forward and aim for that now.
Need to think long and hard about the best options for me to stay sober in future, where did i go wrong last time? I called the wrong people, I had that first drink on a friday evening instead of going to an AA meeting, after that 4 day slip I went through step one with my sponsor type friend and seeing it written down in black and white, i knew once and for all im alcoholic, and i panicked, i was scared of delving deeper into the bad stuff of the past because of revisiting those feelings. And by then id lost my three and a half month sobriety time.
I went up to my dads and had a good hardworking time up there he was talking about our future and how dissappointing it is for him that ive ended up the way i am- he wasnt being nasty just trying to shake me out of it all, I desperately wanted to be 'normal' and be the son he could be proud of. The father my kids could be proud of.
I had conflicting opinions going around my head, my sponsor said that in a way i had a foot in both camps, the friends that had left AA and those that were still in, my head felt like it was going to explode. Started reading stuff on the internet supporting what the ones that had left had said putting me off AA even more, my brain wanted to drink again and this was the answer it came up with: il leave AA and this site because i had been obsessing too much about it!!
What a mistake that was, im not blaming anyone for my actions and ultimately i chose to drink, im just trying to make sure i dont keep making the same mistakes. Part of me is angry at those that had left AA but things haven't got as bad for them so it would be easier for them to keep trying to control their drinking. Was I in denial? Yeah i knew from going through the step 1 that i was doomed, there is no grey area, its clear cut im an alcoholic.
Have you been able to eat something yet? Soup?
My advice....work on making you proud of you. Everyone else can get in line later.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Thanks Lillian, yes ive managed a small amount to eat, but il eat more regular meals tomorrow, still drinking loads of water though. The craving has gone now im glad the storm has past, never will i allow it near my life again. Love every hour that passes is that much further away from the poison.
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 567
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,397
Originally Posted by 1stepup
...more than the physical pain its the mental side that takes me time to get right again- what was I thinking?!!!
...
I had conflicting opinions going around my head, my sponsor said that in a way i had a foot in both camps...
...
there is no grey area, its clear cut im an alcoholic.
...
I had conflicting opinions going around my head, my sponsor said that in a way i had a foot in both camps...
...
there is no grey area, its clear cut im an alcoholic.
Thanks, 1stepup. So glad you're back with us.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
Originally Posted by NewLeaf
I almost blew 50 days about a half hour ago, but your words and signing up on the 24 hour thread have helped get me through at least tonight.
Thanks, 1stepup. So glad you're back with us.
Thanks, 1stepup. So glad you're back with us.
I tell myself sobriety is a vow. A promise you make yourself for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, when it is easy and when it is hard, when you want to and when you don't.....
And just like with the first year of marriage, the first year of sobriety is a big adjustment!
Fortunately as time goes by you want to be sober almost all the time!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,397
Last night we went out to a pub to celebrate my daughter's being home for an overnight. I verybriefly considered having something but thought about you all and just had a Virgin Mary instead. During the meal, everyone was talking about tailgating before a football game where my daughter had gone to college. We'd just bumped into some HUGE fans of this team and school, and they'd offered my husband and me two tickets 10 rows up from the 50 yard line whenever and as many times as we'd like to go.
I reminded them that I'm not drinking anymore, and they all INSISTED I could just just drink one day. I told them I don't want to. Several times today, though, I found myself thinking about it. My AV voice wondered, "What if? We'll see, maybe it's something to look forward to…." When my daughter and I walked into the liquor store to pick up two bottles of wine for her visit with her boyfriend, I considered buying just one for myself. I stood by the Mcallan, about to buy a bottle for my husband since it's his favorite … all the while thinking it's be nice to enjoy a sip with him. I ended up walking away, but not without feeling sad about it.
And then tonight, there was my husband drinking the first of two (or sometimes three) vodka martinis. My youngest had put on a rather dark movie, and I've been rather out of sorts stressing over money right now (HUGE college debt) and lacking sleep. I WISHED I could just have one drink to chill out a bit. And honestly, I could have had just one martini. BUT I'd be wanting another tomorrow, probably, and I'd feel so disappointed, even MORE tired, and right back to square one.
Anyway, I can be honest in admitting I still have my feet in both camps as 1stepup said below. I haven't completely let go, I suppose.
I reminded them that I'm not drinking anymore, and they all INSISTED I could just just drink one day. I told them I don't want to. Several times today, though, I found myself thinking about it. My AV voice wondered, "What if? We'll see, maybe it's something to look forward to…." When my daughter and I walked into the liquor store to pick up two bottles of wine for her visit with her boyfriend, I considered buying just one for myself. I stood by the Mcallan, about to buy a bottle for my husband since it's his favorite … all the while thinking it's be nice to enjoy a sip with him. I ended up walking away, but not without feeling sad about it.
And then tonight, there was my husband drinking the first of two (or sometimes three) vodka martinis. My youngest had put on a rather dark movie, and I've been rather out of sorts stressing over money right now (HUGE college debt) and lacking sleep. I WISHED I could just have one drink to chill out a bit. And honestly, I could have had just one martini. BUT I'd be wanting another tomorrow, probably, and I'd feel so disappointed, even MORE tired, and right back to square one.
Anyway, I can be honest in admitting I still have my feet in both camps as 1stepup said below. I haven't completely let go, I suppose.
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