tootsl1

Cricket! I didn't expect it to come out near life sized!!!

IWLSAST

Dear DG, you are such the BOMB! CONGRATS ON THE 9 months sober!!!

Elseware

DG. I followed your thread far a long time. You have come so far in a lot of ways. You deserve every good thing. Congratulations on 9 months!

walkingwithgod

Day 289, busy day at work and have a meeting tonight. I received a message from another alcoholic looking for a ride to the Men's AA Meeting tonight. I thought no way, I want a little quiet time in the car. But, then realized that is wrong. Helping another person is more important. Doing the right thing is part of recovery, as well as helping others. Glad to be sober and a part of this group.

God Bless,
Matthew

walkingwithgod

DG fantastic on 9 months.

Dee74

Congrats again DG



D

Grace2

Hi again Undies

Sorry about the banana blindness Dee. I found you some goggles. A lady I work with has a phobia about banana's. Can you imagine?

Hello Elsewhere, good to see your posts.

Drake I shall bake you a cake for your 10 banana anniversary. Remind me!

Thanks for your kind wishes B.F, much appreciated. I hope you had a good day in work and have managed to get back into exercise mode.

Gilmer, it sounds like you had a lovely day with your Grandaughter. Oh how I can relate! Hope you're managing to keep warm.

D.G, I didn't know you had a crush!! Wit woo you little temptress, go for it! Seriously the sooner you get things sorted with the b.f, the better. The longer you postpone it the harder it becomes. You'll be okay.

Midnight, congratulations on the job, that's brilliant news and a good start to this new year. I'm really pleased for you. I feel the same way about S.R too, posting here is like my own little therapy session. Just writing things down makes me feel better and I find it put very helpful to read other peoples opinions, it helps me to put things into perspective.

I hope you got some quality rest Feeling Good.

That's a brilliant post from you Toots, very well said. How are things at home my lovely friend?

Hi Babs, I hope you're good and well and I hope that the visit from your step daughter goes smoothly, I'm sure it will.

I hope your feeling better in yourself today Matthew, we all have our off days, but they pass.

Oh dear Jim, keep warm, get those thermals out. As you know I don't cope very well with cold.

Hi Courage, there seems to be a few of us then that look as S.R as our therapy. xx

Hi Carlos, you're sounding good my friend. I hope you're enjoying yourself and I hope your deal went well. Have a good day with your high school sweetie. xxx I look forward to seeing a photo of the ship.

Dorothy, I hope your meeting went well. It's good you have a friend working with you. A problem shared and all that!

D.G many congratulations on 9 months. I think I'd better five the banana's a rest, lol.

Matthew, I think that was very kind of you to offer that person a lift, I should imagine he will be very grateful and glad of the support.

I'm going to bed now, it's been a long day. I'm on a 10 day training course at work and it's haddling my brain. I'm not very good in training room environments, especially when the trainer has a monotonous, droning voice and the room is warm!! I have this vision of me nodding off and doing a big, loud snore. God I'd be mortified!

Back tomorrow hopefully

Good night all

Grace xxxx

Dee74

see you tomorrow Grace

D

stevie88

Hey gang hope you are all well....I'm still working crazy hours and eating crazy amounts of food and I'm still smashing the gym.....Also its 8 days without cigarettes for me so I'm feeling kinda pleased about that...

Take care all.....Steve.

DG0409

Thank you all for the 9 month congrats.

I apologize in advance for the ramble here, but I need to just get some stuff 'out'.

At the moment I'm feeling the magical combination of hungry, angry, lonely and tired all at once. Oh joy!! It seems to have brought on what feels to be a bit of a PAWS episode. On the whole, I get this way a whole heck of a lot less often, but this week I've had this happen twice. I read that times of stress can bring on PAWS episodes and I think that is what is going on.

I'm trying just to take care of myself. Played some drums, but realized I was hungry and really needed a snack, so took a break from that and drinking a glass of milk and eating some nuts.

I'm feeling really out of sorts at the moment. I want to resort to curling up in a ball and feeling depressed. Not even going to let myself contemplate a drink at the moment as an escape would be so nice. I'd like to just say F-it and drown my pain. But I know I would regret that one tomorrow. That's not even an option. But I am definitely having those pesty feelings that once would have made me turn to drinking.

I'm really feeling ticked. My crush is someone I really trust and generally feel like I can talk to about anything. Anyway, we were texting today and a topic came up and it was a weird conversation. I felt like I was getting blasted rather than the support I would normally expect from this guy. I'm feeling really hurt about it.

On top of that, I am trying to come to terms with accepting that I need to break up with my current bf. I'm really struggling with it. I can feel myself moving from the denial phase to the acceptance phase, but it still seems very surreal. I'm having trouble seeing how it's going to move from an idea in my head into real life. And I'm straight F-ing scared. The little details freak me out. How am I going to handle breaking the news? What am I going to do when/if bf begs to try to work things out? How is it going to be once he packs up and goes and the house is empty? How is it going to be when I have to eat dinner alone? Etc.

I've been thinking a lot and a lot of emotions have come up recently. Anger and resentments about things in my past. Painful memories.

I'm just feeling like a total wreck at the moment. So, the plan for tonight is to try to just keep my sanity, make it through the night and try to do things to make myself feel better: eat well, maybe have a cup of hot chocolate, maybe play some more drums, hang around on SR or watch a show.

Dee74

Glad you're doing ok with your crazy schedule Steve.

I reckon it's ok to slow things down a little on both camps, DG.
I've no wonder you feel a little pulled in two directions right now.

D

Elseware

DG, there's a reason so many songs and poems have been written about breaking up. It's very, very hard. One of the hardest. This is a real challenge and you're still kind of early in your recovery. I think the way you are feeling is normal under the circumstances. The truth? I think it might be time for you to move on from your present situation but it might not be time to move into another relationship right away. I know being alone is really, really scary but it can be done. You can eat and sleep and go to the movies all by yourself. And it opens space for the next chapter of your life to begin. I know you feel pretty bad right now. It comes through your post. I have severe episodes of PAWS, too. I try to just ride it out and so far I've been able to do it. But I know it's hard. This relationship issue is probably going to be the first big test of your sobriety. Try to take really good care of yourself. Things do have a way of working out. This is something I used to tell my son when he was little. And I'm taking my own advice these days. Things will work out for you, too. They will.

DG0409

Thank you Dee. I guess if I'm honest about it, I REALLY like this guy I have a crush on. I'm scared if I wait too long to make a decision that he will find somebody else and I could lose my chance to be with him. I feel pressured because of that.

Elseware- I think that in a lot of ways you're right- I'm not ready for another relationship. I've had no real time single since I was a young teenager and I know it's not healthy to 'bounce' from one relationship to the next. I'm conflicted because I'd actually prefer some time single to get over my current bf and figure out who I am just as sober DG than jump into another relationship and have the pressures of making that work. But I feel like I've never met somebody that I have feelings for like I do for this guy and I really don't want to miss out on the opportunity to see what things would be like with him.

Elseware

DG. You'll know in your heart what's right. Sometimes you have to just go for it. No matter what. Nothing will stop the path of true love if it's the right one.

courage2

DG, have you told this guy you have the crush on anything about what you're feeling -- including that you need some single time? If he's a decent person, and he's really interested in more than a fling, he'll give you space if you ask for it.

As for the actual reality of facing your bf, it will likely be unpleasant, especially if you've lived together long and share any property. But difficult emotions and harsh words can't hurt you if you keep using the tools you've learned in sobriety -- seeking support, giving yourself space to feel and think, taking care of yourself physically and mentally.

Grace, I hope you're not overdoing things. What's the status with the g'son & maternal visits?

WWG, it was good of you to give the fellow a ride. Sometimes doing the right thing is also setting limits tho. I find that balance kind of hard, myself. I hope you're learning to manage it!

DG0409

Courage- I've told this guy a lot about how I'm feeling, but not about thinking I need some time single. I do think he would give me space if I asked him too, but I think there would be no guarantees that he wouldn't get into another relationship. I'm afraid that he would take it to mean that I don't really like him.

But I am thinking that as solid as my sobriety is as long as I'm in my little bubble and everything is routine, when I'm hit with stressful situations it quickly seems a lot less solid. I normally live a boring predictable life and I've figured out how to deal with that and stay sober- but stuff outside of my routine really throws me off.

When I went back home for Thanksgiving, was staying with relatives and was around drinking and what-not I had a slip with the weed. And now all of the current stress has be feeling very PAWSy!!

Perhaps I need to stay very focused on my recovery.

Dee74

I agree with Courage - if he's a decent person, and he's really interested in more than a fling, he'll give you space if you ask for it.

If he goes off with someone else then plainly he's not for you anyway.

And your current bf - I'm not going to tell you what to do or when, but if you don't end one relationship before starting another, it gets very very messy - unrelentingly messy...you'll be heading for soap opera central - not a fun place for anyone to be.

and I say that as a guy who got left behind.

D

DG0409

Thanks Dee.

dorothyparker

hello everyone. I had deleted my thread subscription because I didn,t want it to appear in my email while I was working iwht my friends and it took me ages to find you guys again. SIgh of relief ! People had time to live a whole lifetime it seems while I was gone.

Toots, you made me life your picture was huge. ha ha. And Grace, about the voice and the warmth, lol, I could just picture you snore a little. Ha ha.

DG, congratulations on 9 months, someone mentioned 9 months is a sort of difficult threshold re AV. Having another person in store is a kind of insurance against loneliness but it also veils issues you might have to confront as you rightly point out. New love is always 10 times more interesting to live than the drudgery of daily life. I think a break from the new one would help clarify your next step and your feelings for him. I sense that you're in love with being in love and you're convincing yourself that you feel differently with him when in fact it might just be your need to escape your situation and start a new better one. Also, we sometimes seek all kinds of other highs when we're sober...I hope I'm not offending you by saying this and that I'm not reading too much into your situation, projecting like.

As for me, I was reflecting on my first few days of sobriety and I remembered how super itchy I was. It was so weird. The only withdrawal I had was itchiness. All that poison coming out probably and new blood rejuvenating my skin. I wonder what the medical cause of that was. Mind you, I have eczema and get itchy often but the first 2 days had me seriously itching all over. So glad I'm through with that.

Goodnight undies. Carlos, enjoy the sound of the waves you lucky bas...d.

DP
xxoxox
PS: Oh I forgot to say my friend has been sober 7 days and is on a 1 year course. He plans to drink again after 1 year says he is not a alcoholic and only wants to stop to lose weight and be healthier..Denial ?

tootsl1

DG, you wouldn't expect me not to stick my two penn'orth in; there is no clean painless surgical way of ending a relationship, but how you speak makes a big difference. Own your words ' I feel you don't respect me' is a whole lot less accusatory that ' you don't respect me' ask him how he feels about the relationship and the direction it is heading, what his ambitions are, it is easier to show the differences in your directions once he has said out loud what his are. A lot of men will cling on to a relationship that isn't complete pants, through an unwillingness to make the necessary effort to change things, so he may well not want to end.
As for 'crush' I feel you do need time to grieve over the 'death' of your current relationship before you can seperate your feelings, that said, I was still in the midst of extraction ( the marriage was over and i had moved him out, but he wasn't going quietly) when I met current hubby. I really did not want a serious relationship at all, let alone so soon, but I also recognised that our feelings for each other were special, and decided that although the timing was crap, I had to go for it. Now the bugger expects me to follow him three thousand miles to some godforsaken freezing wilderness!!!!!
As for curling into a ball, another form of escapism, but much healthier than a drink! And a very normal desire, even as you recognise it isn't a possibility. You are having to make adult decisions that will make big changes to your life. You are able to do this sober, I absolutely know that, you are far, far stronger than you allow yourself to believe, you are just relatively untested. Many things will happen through your life that will test you, and tire you, and drag you down. But you will deal sober, and you will stand up straight, and you will survive.