Class of September 2013 - Part 21
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Charlotte North Carolina
Posts: 1,195
Originally Posted by Br00ksie 
When I had that speech with my family members individually, they each pretty much said the same thing.
It was not fun learning how obvious it was, especially given how much I tried to conceal it! But on the other hand, they have noticed a big change in my behavior!
I'm excited about Christmas except that whenever both me and one of my cousins are around the whole family, it tends to be a a one-sided battle for the spotlight (I always end up stepping into the shadow to make room for her and avoid conflict).
We are similarly the darlings of the family which isn't a lot of fun when we are together.
She is my biggest cheerleader and we are super close and each other's confidants on an individual basis, but whenever others are thrown into the mix the dynamics change and she gets competitive (often at my expense).
As a result, I tend to avoid her as much as possible at family functions. She wasn't in town for Thanksgiving, so I haven't been in this situation as a sober person yet.
Maybe this year will be different, but I have a feeling that my sobriety and life change may threaten to cast a slight shadow on her newlywed/new addition situation. I hope I'm wrong this year though!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,023
Good morning all, its Christmas Eve here !
Actually, I was feeling a bit annoyed at my HM last night as she is making us attend a drinks function on Eve night. Other things happened as well which also made the night a bit sour at the end. However, I managed to run this morning and felt good. I am in rehab so I can only do run/walk but sneaked in a sprint at the end. It is so nice to run fast and be pain free ! More importantly, it cleared my head and I feel much happier.
Fishy: I am sorry to hear you need a catheter but at least you are addressing any potential issue now !
Kell: I am also a bit nervous about Christmas 'cos of my brother. BUt its only one day and I will strive to only be positive. I trust you will be fine !
Rochele: act like Yoda when it comes to the empties ! Just flush them down the drain and dont think about it !!
I hope everyone has a very serene and enjoyable night/day. Thanks to all !!
Actually, I was feeling a bit annoyed at my HM last night as she is making us attend a drinks function on Eve night. Other things happened as well which also made the night a bit sour at the end. However, I managed to run this morning and felt good. I am in rehab so I can only do run/walk but sneaked in a sprint at the end. It is so nice to run fast and be pain free ! More importantly, it cleared my head and I feel much happier.
Fishy: I am sorry to hear you need a catheter but at least you are addressing any potential issue now !
Kell: I am also a bit nervous about Christmas 'cos of my brother. BUt its only one day and I will strive to only be positive. I trust you will be fine !
Rochele: act like Yoda when it comes to the empties ! Just flush them down the drain and dont think about it !!
I hope everyone has a very serene and enjoyable night/day. Thanks to all !!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,303
Hey guys, caught up with everyone. Sounds like everyone is doing great!
Fish, really sorry to bear about the heart cath. When are you having that done? How great you told your doc that you are a recovering A. That takes guts!
As for me....scheduled my kiddos surgery and I'm a wreck. Trying to cope with waves of panic. It is going to cost $4000 out of pocket. I'm so scared something will happen to my baby. It brings back so much fear. I wish I could drink to self-medicate.
Fish, really sorry to bear about the heart cath. When are you having that done? How great you told your doc that you are a recovering A. That takes guts!
As for me....scheduled my kiddos surgery and I'm a wreck. Trying to cope with waves of panic. It is going to cost $4000 out of pocket. I'm so scared something will happen to my baby. It brings back so much fear. I wish I could drink to self-medicate.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,534
Originally Posted by Renarde
Hey guys, caught up with everyone. Sounds like everyone is doing great!
Fish, really sorry to bear about the heart cath. When are you having that done? How great you told your doc that you are a recovering A. That takes guts!
As for me....scheduled my kiddos surgery and I'm a wreck. Trying to cope with waves of panic. It is going to cost $4000 out of pocket. I'm so scared something will happen to my baby. It brings back so much fear. I wish I could drink to self-medicate.
Fish, really sorry to bear about the heart cath. When are you having that done? How great you told your doc that you are a recovering A. That takes guts!
As for me....scheduled my kiddos surgery and I'm a wreck. Trying to cope with waves of panic. It is going to cost $4000 out of pocket. I'm so scared something will happen to my baby. It brings back so much fear. I wish I could drink to self-medicate.
Let us help you through it. Post here lots. And let us praying types know what we can pray for you and kiddo.
(((Renarde)))
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,742
Good luck and love to Renarde and Fish!
I only caught a glimpse of those two updates as I peer through shark infested waters.
Last night was a famously French three hour meal with beaucoups des vins, and just a lot of talk about children.
I know many of my compatriots here have children, and I mean no offense.
But I cannot relate!! Especially for three hours.
Do ya know how hard it is not to get drunk when you absolutely cannot relate?!?!
Certainly all of you know. Panic attack at the grand dining hall last night.
Yikes.
Just a warm up for Wednesday.
I only caught a glimpse of those two updates as I peer through shark infested waters.
Last night was a famously French three hour meal with beaucoups des vins, and just a lot of talk about children.
I know many of my compatriots here have children, and I mean no offense.
But I cannot relate!! Especially for three hours.
Do ya know how hard it is not to get drunk when you absolutely cannot relate?!?!
Certainly all of you know. Panic attack at the grand dining hall last night.
Yikes.
Just a warm up for Wednesday.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Taking a breather betwen batches of cookies and shopping.
Renarde, I would also be so worried. Do let us know so we can hold kiddoe in our thoughts and prayers, and you too!
Plenny, I can related. We were late bloomers and many friends had kids long before us. Sometimes it was tough. It can be espeically tough when you are wanting kids and it is not happening for you. That was my situation for a few years.
For me now, it is when hubby's family goes on and on about beer! Seriously!
Renarde, I would also be so worried. Do let us know so we can hold kiddoe in our thoughts and prayers, and you too!
Plenny, I can related. We were late bloomers and many friends had kids long before us. Sometimes it was tough. It can be espeically tough when you are wanting kids and it is not happening for you. That was my situation for a few years.
For me now, it is when hubby's family goes on and on about beer! Seriously!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,023
Renarde, worrying about your child's operation wont change anything. Focus on what is within your control and put the rest out of your mind. I hope and trust that the surgery goes well and there is no need for anymore concern.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,742
Haha rochele yes. I choose not to have kids, although I love them. Just like I try to choose not to drink, although I love it. There were multiple levels of not relating at that dinner last night! At least we all value food in the exact same way. I do love the pleasure their culture seems to take in EVERY indulgence. It is like they appreciate the little things that makes us happy. So that's a consolation big time. And a good lesson.
Perpetual Optimist
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: LA
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by Renarde
As for me....scheduled my kiddos surgery and I'm a wreck. Trying to cope with waves of panic. It is going to cost $4000 out of pocket. I'm so scared something will happen to my baby. It brings back so much fear. I wish I could drink to self-medicate.
I am not sure what your faith is, but sobriety has taught me more so than ever to lean on a power greater than myself in times of difficulty.
I always considered myself a person of faith, but in sobriety I am learning that when I was drinking and smoking and self-medicating, my higher power was often whatever I was using.
I would lean on a substance for a temporary reprieve from my thoughts instead of leaning on my faith. I have FAITH that kiddo is going to be okay!
Acceptance is a big part of recovery. I think a lot of alcoholics lean on the bottle in situations that they cannot control, in a way, at least to be able to control their thoughts.
By accepting what we cannot control, we can take the next right action and do what we can to help ourselves and others in a given situation. There are so many ways we can do that without using alcohol!
If you don't pray, what can you do to ease your mind instead of drink? Can you talk to someone? Can you exercise?
Sometimes, we cannot control our thoughts no matter what, and that is okay too! Feeling uncomfortable feelings is healthy. In this way, acceptance means understanding that feeling things is part of being human.
The outcome of the surgery will not change if you pick up a drink. More importantly, kiddo is going to need his sober mommy before AND after his surgery!
Often fear is:
Forgetting
Everything's
All
Right
Kiddo is all right! He is being cared for by his loving parents and competent doctors.
Life is full of risks and difficulties and the unknown, but even still, everything will be all right. You've made it this far, all you have to do is keep swimming!!
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Soberspace
Posts: 591
Merry Christmas Kaneda!
Fish, I think your cardiologist is being careful, some doctors have their patients examined more than others do.
Renarde, I know how you must be feeling about your childs surgery. My neighbours and friends have little son and he was born with
a minor heart defect but is doing fine. I pray everything will be fine with your child's procedure.
Plenny, I have the same childless situation in relation to my colleagues and to some extent my friends as well. Usually I try to "derail" the conversation
by bringing up something else of interest to my company. When I was still a resident (junior physician) all but two of us (a total of 10) had children and now all my colleagues have, kids some of them old enough to have left their parents home.
Christmas eve late morning here in Europe, still sleepy but have to start getting all my things and drive to my parents.
Yesterday when I was about to go home from work I received a phone call from Gamestop store, they had received an extra shipment of playstation 4's and wondered if I would be interested. (I'm quite the loyal customer...) so I figured, what the heck?! Almost no games for the console yet but I'm one week from 4 months sober, I've earned a next generation video game console, so I bought it as a sober christmas present for myself. I've earned it. Will keep in touch from my parents home over Christmas, will be on call at night during Christmas day but will have my phone with me and follow our sober christmas as it unfolds
Fish, I think your cardiologist is being careful, some doctors have their patients examined more than others do.
Renarde, I know how you must be feeling about your childs surgery. My neighbours and friends have little son and he was born with
a minor heart defect but is doing fine. I pray everything will be fine with your child's procedure.
Plenny, I have the same childless situation in relation to my colleagues and to some extent my friends as well. Usually I try to "derail" the conversation
by bringing up something else of interest to my company. When I was still a resident (junior physician) all but two of us (a total of 10) had children and now all my colleagues have, kids some of them old enough to have left their parents home.
Christmas eve late morning here in Europe, still sleepy but have to start getting all my things and drive to my parents.
Yesterday when I was about to go home from work I received a phone call from Gamestop store, they had received an extra shipment of playstation 4's and wondered if I would be interested. (I'm quite the loyal customer...) so I figured, what the heck?! Almost no games for the console yet but I'm one week from 4 months sober, I've earned a next generation video game console, so I bought it as a sober christmas present for myself. I've earned it. Will keep in touch from my parents home over Christmas, will be on call at night during Christmas day but will have my phone with me and follow our sober christmas as it unfolds
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,023
Ok, this is pretty sad behaviour. I am hiding in a bathroom at this stupid Christmas function where everyone is drinking and I only know 2 people. And I don't know then well at alll. I can't leave as my jHM is insisting on staying for another 2 hours. The rest of the family is bored to tears....I need an eject button
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,023
Hey Kell
Yes, she wants me to stop but she doesn't really care how I do it or what addiction means. I am going to exit this place. I just don't know how to do chit chat especially when sober !
Thanks, Kell.
Yes, she wants me to stop but she doesn't really care how I do it or what addiction means. I am going to exit this place. I just don't know how to do chit chat especially when sober !
Thanks, Kell.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 579
Hugs, Kane--I'm sorry you're in that situation. Yes, get outta there asap!
Worko--almost 4 months is huge! You do indeed deserved that game console.
Renarde, we'll all be going thru the journey of kiddo's surgery with you. I have every faith and confidence that all will go well.
Brooksie, that was an awesome reply you made.
Plenny, sorry about the wine and all the kid talk. Glad the food is great, anyway.
Worko--almost 4 months is huge! You do indeed deserved that game console.
Renarde, we'll all be going thru the journey of kiddo's surgery with you. I have every faith and confidence that all will go well.
Brooksie, that was an awesome reply you made.
Plenny, sorry about the wine and all the kid talk. Glad the food is great, anyway.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 776
~~~Food for thought ~ The Xmas Eve Edition~~~
~~~The Evolution of Self~~~
Don’t underestimate yourself. You are capable of more than you can ever imagine. When life presses in on you the hardest, that’s when your breakthrough is near. Press on. Don’t stop to think about the work you have to do; just put yourself on auto-pilot.
Hold yourself to a higher standard daily. Your family, friends and co-workers all look to you for their cues. Be mindful to lift the vibration in every room you enter. Treat yourself to a higher belief system. Trust and let go. Greatness is in your DNA. God don’t make junk. Each day you have a new chance to develop new ideas, reach for new goals and conquer new mountains. Chase down your dream like it’s the last bus of the night. Go get it! You have something special. You have Greatness within you!!
~~~Happy Xmas season to all the Septemberites and your families...spend it cheerful, positive, prayerful, thankful and bountiful and overall "SOBERFUL LOL!!!" ~~~
~~~The Evolution of Self~~~
Don’t underestimate yourself. You are capable of more than you can ever imagine. When life presses in on you the hardest, that’s when your breakthrough is near. Press on. Don’t stop to think about the work you have to do; just put yourself on auto-pilot.
Hold yourself to a higher standard daily. Your family, friends and co-workers all look to you for their cues. Be mindful to lift the vibration in every room you enter. Treat yourself to a higher belief system. Trust and let go. Greatness is in your DNA. God don’t make junk. Each day you have a new chance to develop new ideas, reach for new goals and conquer new mountains. Chase down your dream like it’s the last bus of the night. Go get it! You have something special. You have Greatness within you!!
~~~Happy Xmas season to all the Septemberites and your families...spend it cheerful, positive, prayerful, thankful and bountiful and overall "SOBERFUL LOL!!!" ~~~
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Originally Posted by Kaneda8888
Ok, this is pretty sad behaviour. I am hiding in a bathroom at this stupid Christmas function where everyone is drinking and I only know 2 people. And I don't know then well at alll. I can't leave as my jHM is insisting on staying for another 2 hours. The rest of the family is bored to tears....I need an eject button
I hope you got out.
Merry Christmas, Kaneda!
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