Dee74

last part here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-20-a-21.html

D

Dee74

good to see you jat - I'm sure you'll be fine

D

Uninvited

Well lookee here. Part 21!

1stepup

Hi all, another new thread eh? We must be the most 'productive' or talkative class on here!

Im doing ok trying to keep as busy as I can, a fellow alcoholic who has many years of sobriety mentioned to me the other day that most slips he has witnessed have happened after the xmas period- its when people let their guards down I guess. Ive got to keep going and ignore that thought that after all the good work I deserve a good drink! Yeah right I deserve to poison myself? No chance- I deserve a life not an existence which was all I had when I drank.

Hope everyones ok. x

Dee74

I have faith in you 1Step

D

Br00ksie

You're doing awesome, 1step!!

Don't think I congratulated you on 2 months.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Br00ksie

I definitely talk a lot!!



I had a great workout! Did mostly arm exercises today (I alternate arms and legs depending on the day).

For cardio I usually do sprints outside but it's obvi too cold for that. I haven't been able to bring myself to get on the treadmill yet. It's sooo boring!!

FishnHippy

My gym has a treadmill and bike hooked up to some sort of computer game totally cool

GotGrace

Awesome job, 1Step. Thanks for posting that. Forewarned is forearmed!

Renarde

Hey guys. Stayed home w kiddo as kiddo is not feeling well. Baby took a 3.5 hr nap! I laid down at 2:30 thinking I would get a half hour but then I woke up at five!

I'm making my first attempt at lamb chops tonight.

Rochele, I'm sorry this is so difficult with your spouse. The first time I really tried to get sober, my husband was so threatened that he openly challenged me and was aggressive to me about my choices. He didn't want to be married to an alcoholic, so we were not allowed to have me in any kind of recovery. I spent like 28 days white knuckling it and crashed miserably. It was completely impossible doing it with him like that. A year and a half later, he had tried to control my drinking even though I wasn't allowed to be an alcoholic, and I think the amount I was drinking was scaring him. So this time, he said good for me and hasn't said much more. He asks once in a while if I've quit for good, sort of shocked bc boy did I love my wine for the last 12 years, but that's about it. I think he finally gets that I am serious now that I have several months under my belt.

What is the most you have ever said to him about it? Have you point blank ever said "I'm an alcoholic and I have quit drinking. I am sober and I cannot drink alcohol anymore." Are you dancing around this with him? Even if he doesn't respond how you want him to, maybe it would be good for you to actually lay it out for him.

Br00ksie

Hope you're feeling better today Kaneda!!

Kaneda8888

Good morning all, just a quick check in. Black moods have subsided in frequency thankfully. I will explain when I have more time but it was triggered by the anniversary of my father's passing away. Christmas tends to be more solemn nowadays. Didnt drink. Anyway, I need to go and finish my Christmas shopping ! And of course its currently 35C (95F) and will hit the 40C mark (104F) later today before a thunderstorm. We get really weird weather here.

Post and catch up later !

Kaneda8888

Br00ksie

That was a spooky coincidence ! Thank you sweetie

phoebe64

I am not sure I have ever said, "I am an alcoholic." I am not all about a label, for anyone, for a lot of things. But I think I may be one. I quit drinking, or keep trying to quit drinking because my health was sufferring greatly from that, and other poor lifestyle choices I was making.

But, i think I have at least once, maybe 2 or three times said to him, in tears, with a horrible hangover, that I think I am an alcoholic, or at least very clearly that I cannot drink and should not drink, as it is terrible for me. I have also at those times said it would be a lot easier if he also did not drink. I have told him that I think he drinks more than is healthy.

Trust me when I say, I am not shy, and I do not dance around issues. I am known by him and his family as being rather forthright and outspoken. they are all very much avoiders of conflict.

The mixed signal I might send would not be my words, but the fact that I have had relpases and slips over the past 3 years, since I initially quit. I imagine he has a hard time taking me very seriously. But with stuff in the house all the time, it does add another layer of challenge. I have said things to him that it is hard trying to be sober when he drinks regulalry around me.

I really think he thinks I should just not do it, like I don't eat a bag of cookies. Like it is the same thing. I do not think he wants to really get into it, because then he has to examine his own drinking. I cannot make him respond.

You asked what I would want him to say? Well, I would like him to say, "Let's do this together and find other fun things to do."

Renarde

It would be interesting to see what would happen if you just flat out told him you're an alcoholic. Do you think you are one? Asking that genuinely.

phoebe64

Renarde, I think I have answered this a few times to you. I do think I have told him I think I am an alcoholic. I am sure I have. I have begged him to help me in not drinking. yet, some months later, he will be buying me wine. He will never step up and challenge it. He is not going to *ever* initiate any conflict. He never has. Not about anything. If I do, I am a complainer. Thankfully, we generally agree on things. Truly. He will acknowledge a need to reduce drinking, or pay attention to it, but never to stop.

His own brother came to live with us for a few weeks, just after *incarceration* for drug related issues. He was working for us, painting and doing odd jobs for that summer. We were helping him out and needed the work done. The time brother did was in a rehab sort of prison program, and he was admittedly an addict and spoke to us openly about it. Hubby drank in front of him nightly. Brother said he did not want anyone ot change for him, and dh embraced that. See, "brother is a crack addict. I am not like that." Get my drift?

I think dh is an alcoholic, too. Therein lies the problem. I just don't assign labels very readily. But expecting him to stop for me is like expecting any drinker who has a problem to stop for another person. It will never happen. It has to be for himself. How esle do I need ot say it. It is not going to happen for me.

My issue is what I do about it. Well, I keep striving for sobriety. For me and for my children.

Plenny

(((Rochele)))

Renarde

I apologize if I am coming across as dumb in my questions. I was just trying to understand your situation and I couldn't get a grasp of what the reality is for you guys through your other posts. Just trying to understand.

I'm sorry this is so hard.

Renarde

Kiddo is pretty sick. Fever almost 104. I called the pediatrician and will be on alert tonight. I'm glad I'm sober and kiddo can rely on me.

phoebe64

??? I do not think I ever suggested you were dumb.