Class of December 2012 - Part 9
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 232
A quick morning post to say hello.
Courage thanks for thinking of me, I'm feeling off-form for a few days now and just switched off I guess.
Now that drinking isn't an option or desire of mine I have to accept and deal with ongoing, mostly low-level, depression. Usually I can cover it up and pretend its not there but that isn't working at the moment. And I deny it to myself and don't share my troubles at all with anyone. So saying it here is important...
I take anti-depressants which help with sleep and concentration. Now i've decided that I need to do more so I'm going to keep a mood-diary for a few weeks and there's a support group once a week that I could attend. Glad I've said all that now, its a relief, and I will catch up properly later on in the day with you all x
Courage thanks for thinking of me, I'm feeling off-form for a few days now and just switched off I guess.
Now that drinking isn't an option or desire of mine I have to accept and deal with ongoing, mostly low-level, depression. Usually I can cover it up and pretend its not there but that isn't working at the moment. And I deny it to myself and don't share my troubles at all with anyone. So saying it here is important...
I take anti-depressants which help with sleep and concentration. Now i've decided that I need to do more so I'm going to keep a mood-diary for a few weeks and there's a support group once a week that I could attend. Glad I've said all that now, its a relief, and I will catch up properly later on in the day with you all x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 232
Ok so it's later in my day now and I've had a chance to read back over posts.
So Tazzle, that's so great that you volunteer and have met nice people in your area. It's something I used to do but now I keep saying 'I'm too busy' but in reality I could spare an hour or two a week and I would feel much better for doing it.
Tam your post was lovely about your dinner with friends and time spent with your son. It cheered me up!
Alice thanks for letting us know about Dee and I hope he feels better soon after a well-deserved break. How are you doing? I just heard about a neighbor with breast cancer so my thoughts and prayers are with both of you for healing and health.
Courage I know what you mean about the twisted thinking, the new hope, and then the fear of disappointing yourself and others. All I can say is that you bring so much hope to this forum through your honest and encouraging posts. Be easy on yourself with social interactions.....change can be slow and steady.
My self- talk can be very negative so I often have to work hard to be positive, it's all part of the alcohol,depression etc....but it's not who we are really. And we have to love and be gentle with who we are, the real person beneath all those challenges!
RAL I'm delighted you are getting involved in your church group and activities. It sounds so healthy and uplifting. I've started to attend Mass more regularly and it's good being part of the community at least once in my week. I think your anxiety at night is all part of sorting through these new changes in your sobriety. You're doing so well!
Gonzo, Napster and everyone else all the best for the week ahead
So Tazzle, that's so great that you volunteer and have met nice people in your area. It's something I used to do but now I keep saying 'I'm too busy' but in reality I could spare an hour or two a week and I would feel much better for doing it.
Tam your post was lovely about your dinner with friends and time spent with your son. It cheered me up!
Alice thanks for letting us know about Dee and I hope he feels better soon after a well-deserved break. How are you doing? I just heard about a neighbor with breast cancer so my thoughts and prayers are with both of you for healing and health.
Courage I know what you mean about the twisted thinking, the new hope, and then the fear of disappointing yourself and others. All I can say is that you bring so much hope to this forum through your honest and encouraging posts. Be easy on yourself with social interactions.....change can be slow and steady.
My self- talk can be very negative so I often have to work hard to be positive, it's all part of the alcohol,depression etc....but it's not who we are really. And we have to love and be gentle with who we are, the real person beneath all those challenges!
RAL I'm delighted you are getting involved in your church group and activities. It sounds so healthy and uplifting. I've started to attend Mass more regularly and it's good being part of the community at least once in my week. I think your anxiety at night is all part of sorting through these new changes in your sobriety. You're doing so well!
Gonzo, Napster and everyone else all the best for the week ahead
Recovering ostrich
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
Morning all!
Running a little late, the last few weeks I've been running late because in tired and keep hitting snooze. I have some time off at the beginning of November and it is much needed. I think I'm also going to take one of those days to do my 5th step with my sponsor. It is time! Dun dun dun....
Running a little late, the last few weeks I've been running late because in tired and keep hitting snooze. I have some time off at the beginning of November and it is much needed. I think I'm also going to take one of those days to do my 5th step with my sponsor. It is time! Dun dun dun....
Recovering ostrich
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
BTW, Alice, how are you doing?
Taz, that is cool that you were sought after! That has to feel great.
Courage, keep doing what you're doing. I love meetings, wish I could hit more. I go to about 4 a week and I always get something out of them.
Hi Marria! I don't have a lot of experience with depression, my mom and my sister had depression and they both had a lot of relief with medication. The lack of booze has to help.
Hi Ready! I love reading your posts to the newcomers.
Hi gonzo, Napster and dee (on sabbatical). And anyone else I may have missed.
Taz, that is cool that you were sought after! That has to feel great.
Courage, keep doing what you're doing. I love meetings, wish I could hit more. I go to about 4 a week and I always get something out of them.
Hi Marria! I don't have a lot of experience with depression, my mom and my sister had depression and they both had a lot of relief with medication. The lack of booze has to help.
Hi Ready! I love reading your posts to the newcomers.
Hi gonzo, Napster and dee (on sabbatical). And anyone else I may have missed.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 569
congrats Tam!!
Feeling the need for some "me" time, some project, some "thing" something or somewhere to go for "me" only. Not sure what it is yet though. Hubby sometimes has difficulty understanding this "me" time without taking it personally, so i try to fit this in when he is busy with his own stuff. Which is not easy to do as he has been known to re arrange his schedule if what I am doing sounds more fun to him than what ever he is doing.
What do all my Decemberites do for "me" time? Craft, travel, read?
I used to tie fishing fly's a lot but do not have a place to set up and hate taking it down when Im done, so do not bother with that much.
I like books, US history, old west, memiors, first person, non fiction stuff- any suggestions?
If I won the lottery (have to play to win though,,,) I would be planning a return trip to Alaska. And I would also build a cabin in the mountains, not sure which mountains, many around here to choose from,,, I will work on the design and keep ya'll informed, feel free to contribute!
Good Wednesday to everyone!
How you doing Alice?
Feeling the need for some "me" time, some project, some "thing" something or somewhere to go for "me" only. Not sure what it is yet though. Hubby sometimes has difficulty understanding this "me" time without taking it personally, so i try to fit this in when he is busy with his own stuff. Which is not easy to do as he has been known to re arrange his schedule if what I am doing sounds more fun to him than what ever he is doing.
What do all my Decemberites do for "me" time? Craft, travel, read?
I used to tie fishing fly's a lot but do not have a place to set up and hate taking it down when Im done, so do not bother with that much.
I like books, US history, old west, memiors, first person, non fiction stuff- any suggestions?
If I won the lottery (have to play to win though,,,) I would be planning a return trip to Alaska. And I would also build a cabin in the mountains, not sure which mountains, many around here to choose from,,, I will work on the design and keep ya'll informed, feel free to contribute!
Good Wednesday to everyone!
How you doing Alice?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: BC
Posts: 410
Try James Michener tazzle, he is 'fiction' but only kinda, he goes in to amazing detail of the history of the subject he is writing about, but he writes it around fictional characters living through the actual big events. Hawaii, Texas, Alaska, Carribbean are all great ones to start with.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 569
what movies Tam? True Grit the original and only and The Fifth Element are my 2 favorites. It makes it weird as they are in NO way alike,, almost any John Wayne move actually. I don't seem to have any newer favorites,, oh almost forgot Monty Python, the search for the holy grail,,, HA. love it
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,047
Tazzle, not sure where you live but you might try learning a language either through your local community college or online classes. Then you could travel places where the language was spoken & try out your skills!
I should get some hobbies, but currently when I'm not working, it's SR and AA. I do go to the theater when I can. I'd like to take bridge lessons.
PS the book True Grit by Charles Portis (the basis for the movies) is great!
I should get some hobbies, but currently when I'm not working, it's SR and AA. I do go to the theater when I can. I'd like to take bridge lessons.
PS the book True Grit by Charles Portis (the basis for the movies) is great!
Recovering ostrich
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
I'll watch anything on the On Demand channel. And I'm a sucker for the teen stuff (Twilight and the Hunger Games). The last recent movie that I saw and loved was World War Z.
For reading, I like memoirs. Anything Dave Sedaris. Had anyone read Dry by Augusten Burrows? I read that when it came out and I suspected I had a problem but I figured if I wasn't as bad as him then I'm ok. I would love to read it now.
Off to work. We have our system release this weekend, then I fly out to Philly for training next week and then, November 1st, I have 5 days off: so as I sit here, blurry eyed... I'm totally counting down to the 1st. Lol
For reading, I like memoirs. Anything Dave Sedaris. Had anyone read Dry by Augusten Burrows? I read that when it came out and I suspected I had a problem but I figured if I wasn't as bad as him then I'm ok. I would love to read it now.
Off to work. We have our system release this weekend, then I fly out to Philly for training next week and then, November 1st, I have 5 days off: so as I sit here, blurry eyed... I'm totally counting down to the 1st. Lol
Recovering ostrich
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
I saw theeeee funniest truck this morning, a landscaping business and I had to get a pic. I have toiled about posting it, but if it is in the side of the truck with heir phone number then I guess it is ok. They probably would love the publicity. If only we would all take the advice....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Olde England
Posts: 528
Hi All, that’s (another) week 1 in the can, still on the bus and feeling some gritty determination about this, puffy face and dark rings under the eyes are slowly fading and am feeling part of the world again in terms of feeling that things like deadlines apply to me and that letting other people down is a bad thing rather than just “something I do”.
Reading people’s comments about being scared of being sober rings very true to me, especially when you start building up a sober life and it feels like you’re just constructing it based on no solid foundations and that therefore it’s a very fragile thing and only a matter of time before you “get found out” or relapse and start letting people down again. I come across fairly well in initial meetings and I’ve seen the hope in peoples eyes that they feel they’ve met someone with abit of intelligence who could possibly be the one to help them out. I’ve then seen that fade to resignation after a sting of failed promises. It’s like the longer you’ve spend drunk the longer you’ve spent generally being crap and unreliable but you’re more concerned with clocking off and getting pissed again that the repercussions - it’s only once you start getting sober that the years of embarrassment come back to haunt you and you feel all of the pain at once, every couple of hours the recollection of an event hits and I sit here cringing internally and wanting to go blot it all out again.
Last week’s been rough as it’s been like walking around a burgled house, someone’s been in the driving seat for the last couple of months and hasn’t given a crap about anything that’s not related to running to the bottle. I’m now sifting through the wreckage of missed deadlines, lost sales, unpaid parking tickets, tax returns etc wondering how the hell I’ve ended up back here. Worst is the respect of colleagues I’ve lost over the last couple of months, will be a long road to build that back up…
Don’t go there guys (for anyone who’s wobbling)
Thinking of something to do tonight, Mrs N is having a cocktail party at ours tonight (read getting steamed) with some other mums from the m/c club – need to stay out of the house, might go see a film or summat.
- Me time is motorcycle time - sadly the winter's on the way in so have joined a gym and going to make me time gym time
love to all
Reading people’s comments about being scared of being sober rings very true to me, especially when you start building up a sober life and it feels like you’re just constructing it based on no solid foundations and that therefore it’s a very fragile thing and only a matter of time before you “get found out” or relapse and start letting people down again. I come across fairly well in initial meetings and I’ve seen the hope in peoples eyes that they feel they’ve met someone with abit of intelligence who could possibly be the one to help them out. I’ve then seen that fade to resignation after a sting of failed promises. It’s like the longer you’ve spend drunk the longer you’ve spent generally being crap and unreliable but you’re more concerned with clocking off and getting pissed again that the repercussions - it’s only once you start getting sober that the years of embarrassment come back to haunt you and you feel all of the pain at once, every couple of hours the recollection of an event hits and I sit here cringing internally and wanting to go blot it all out again.
Last week’s been rough as it’s been like walking around a burgled house, someone’s been in the driving seat for the last couple of months and hasn’t given a crap about anything that’s not related to running to the bottle. I’m now sifting through the wreckage of missed deadlines, lost sales, unpaid parking tickets, tax returns etc wondering how the hell I’ve ended up back here. Worst is the respect of colleagues I’ve lost over the last couple of months, will be a long road to build that back up…
Don’t go there guys (for anyone who’s wobbling)
Thinking of something to do tonight, Mrs N is having a cocktail party at ours tonight (read getting steamed) with some other mums from the m/c club – need to stay out of the house, might go see a film or summat.
- Me time is motorcycle time - sadly the winter's on the way in so have joined a gym and going to make me time gym time
love to all
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Olde England
Posts: 528
Have been reading the "Dexter" books over the last week, they're quite fun and you can get rid of one in a day - bit formulaic though so stopped last night and downloaded the Mann Booker prize winner 2013 - The Luminaries by Eleanor Catton, highly praised and at 823 odd pages should keep my mind occupied over next week or so. I tend to find a good book and "hide" in it.
If anyone feels like a very absorbing and completely off the wall read then Great Apes by Will Self is one of my favorites.
Hope you're feeling better Tam and that work went ok - I've read World War Z but not seen the film as yet, the trailers look quite impressive.
Good idea on the language front Courage, I did that before we did our Euro tour and the French came in handy.
Movies wise I saved Django Unchained off cable the other week, we saw the first 45 mins then the phone rang, then the next 45 then had to walk the dogs and havn't got to the rest as yet, I liked what I saw but need to find the time to watch the whole thing in one sitting and really get into it.
If anyone feels like a very absorbing and completely off the wall read then Great Apes by Will Self is one of my favorites.
Hope you're feeling better Tam and that work went ok - I've read World War Z but not seen the film as yet, the trailers look quite impressive.
Good idea on the language front Courage, I did that before we did our Euro tour and the French came in handy.
Movies wise I saved Django Unchained off cable the other week, we saw the first 45 mins then the phone rang, then the next 45 then had to walk the dogs and havn't got to the rest as yet, I liked what I saw but need to find the time to watch the whole thing in one sitting and really get into it.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,047
Hi Decembrists -- How's everybody?
I got a bit behind on my posts -- my son had his checking account hacked & I was on the phone w/him a lot the last couple of days, and at the bank figuring out how to get him some cash to tide him over a few days. And I actually went "out on the town"! My husband and I went to a production of Julius Caesar by the British company Donmar -- all female cast, set in a women's prison. It was terrific! Now we're both exhausted -- an intense late night out (late for us sober 50-somethings) on a work night is harder on me than I care to admit.
Napster, love your posts. Keep it up! I'm still trudging through Infinite Jest, which I've been reading basically as long as I've been sober. My husband reads for me -- I get his Reader's Digest versions. I want to re-read Peter Straub's Ghost Story -- that's probably the top of my reading list.
As for movies, we watched 1/2 of David Cronenberg's eXistenZ -- probably will finish it this weekend. I was tuned out of all movie releases for more than a decade -- anything I saw I forgot -- which is handy now, because there's a lot of older stuff I can catch up on.
Hope everyone is still on the right road & going strong!
PS -- Tam, hope you're not ill. Take care, get some rest, ok?
Alice, check in if you can -- thinking of you!
I got a bit behind on my posts -- my son had his checking account hacked & I was on the phone w/him a lot the last couple of days, and at the bank figuring out how to get him some cash to tide him over a few days. And I actually went "out on the town"! My husband and I went to a production of Julius Caesar by the British company Donmar -- all female cast, set in a women's prison. It was terrific! Now we're both exhausted -- an intense late night out (late for us sober 50-somethings) on a work night is harder on me than I care to admit.
Napster, love your posts. Keep it up! I'm still trudging through Infinite Jest, which I've been reading basically as long as I've been sober. My husband reads for me -- I get his Reader's Digest versions. I want to re-read Peter Straub's Ghost Story -- that's probably the top of my reading list.
As for movies, we watched 1/2 of David Cronenberg's eXistenZ -- probably will finish it this weekend. I was tuned out of all movie releases for more than a decade -- anything I saw I forgot -- which is handy now, because there's a lot of older stuff I can catch up on.
Hope everyone is still on the right road & going strong!
PS -- Tam, hope you're not ill. Take care, get some rest, ok?
Alice, check in if you can -- thinking of you!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
