Dee74

I lost of a lot of drinking buddies Leshar but I found (or refound) a lot of friends.
Friendships seem stronger to me when the bond is not alcohol.

Thanks for sharing your stores Pamel and Desertsweetpea.

I was a rationaliser too DSP - and I drank for a lot of reasons. It's a real bind because when our response is to drink we never learn the skills necessary to deal with stuff...which makes it more likely we'll drink.

Maybe next time something comes up and you feel that urge you can try fighting it and actually engaging with the problem or issue at hand. I found the more I did that the better I got at solving problems and the less I wanted to drink.

Have you heard of urge surfing?

Pamel - I've also drunk after the hard work is done. crazy.

Do you have a plan for what to do when the urge hits - people to call, mantras to say to yourself, getting on here at SR?

D

forabetterlife

Just want to pop in and say that I'm hanging in there. Winding down yet another day one. Ending this on again off again pattern right here. Tired of it. I am grateful to be sober right now, and realizing that I actually enjoy being sober much more than how I feel drinking. July is just half over, so it's not too late.

trikyriky

That is awesome Johnny ,

Good night July friends , looking forward to Day 6

Ladybug2

Hi Johnny,

I too started out in the April class, but, after a few slips, just didn't feel I belonged there anymore. Sorry to hear you have been struggling, but glad to see you here. We can make July our month

guiltyconfused

I cant believe it , I had two beers tonight . I didn't even last 3 days. To make matters worse I just found out how many people I hurt this past weekend with my binge drinking. I feel like a worthless piece of crap

Dee74

Try not to think in absolutes...you drank...but that doesn't mean this is over or that you can never sober

you just need to work out what else you need to do.

do you need more support? do you need to make more changes in your life?

D

Leshar

Thanks, johny555, Pattylulu, and Dee for your comments and support.

I was able to just feel and tolerate the sad feelings and the intensity subsided, but I still have a heavy heart, although I know I'm doing the right thing.
I know that I used to get bitter and angry in situations like this, and I'd drink to escape.
The dynamics of friendships will change, no doubt; I hope I may be able to forge new friendships in time.
Thanks, all.

SoberMarathon

Glad to be on Day 3 now. Each day seems to look a little brighter. Wife is speaking to me again, I'm getting my energy back, and feeling sharper mentally. No looking back...lets get it right this time people!! Have a good day:-)

ando68

Hi class,,
Another day kicks off here in Dublin, weather just perfect & a days work awaits me. Had a tough evening last night,, I'm trying to deal with my wife's family interfering in my marriage. It really gets under my skin sometimes as they all have huge opinions on right & wrong,, standards, etc. anyway after a brief disagreement with my wife over it all I had a visit from good oul reliable AV,, always seems to appear when I'm at my most vulnerable or when I'm struggling to get traction with emotional discomfort. I said no thanks, not tonight buddy!
So I reap the rewards of that decision this morning, no hangover, in work on time, fighting fit & one more day in the bag. Right decision me thinks.
Have a good day everyone.

claryhen

Good Morning all, here I am entering day 8.... managed a night last night with the girls round at mine, each had brought a bottle of wine but happily although a little part of me thought I'm never going to be able to do this again I genuinely didn't want to. However, I'm aware it's early days and that my AV can be a swine so no room for complacency here. One of my biggest helps was a reply from someone on another thread who really hammered home to me that it genuinely is "one day at a time".

Is anyone else really tired tho? I'm sleeping so it's not insomnia but I really just want to sleep in every morning *yawn*.......

Have a good sober day everybody x

Newatthis34

Day 16!!

Yesterday was the first day I didn't post - I wonder if anyone missed me and thought I was up to my old tricks and too shamefaced to admit it?! Only joking. In fact I had the first of my big functions that I am catering for yesterday and I was super busy all day.
Everything went really well and even better was I didn't drink. After the rush and panic of service was over and we were cleaning up, the guys were talking about having a few beers after work. I just said no but I was a bit envious. Anyone that's worked in the service industry knows how prevalent alcohol is there, it's such a high stress job and the natural thing after work is to go on the beer. I did feel a little bit left out as all the others went to the pub when I went home though but feel so amazingly proud of myself this morning that the sacrifice was worth it. Actually I need to stop looking at it as a sacrifice, is it a sacrifice to refrain from killing yourself with poison?

Hope all my July colleagues are going strong. Special welcome to new classmates too numerous to mention!

sunnyc5

Hi all! Sober Marathon day 3 for me again and feeling better less edgy and husband is warming to me! I was at meeting last night and It was the best speaker I have ever heard ...timing perfect for me ...he explained he spent hiss first 4 years in AA slipping until finally he realised he had to change his attitude...sooooo I am getting off the cross so to speak no more martyrdom for me ...it always leads me to drink ! Anyway also thought to my self.... I believe in me even if noone else does and if I give up on me I will die eventually...because alcohol wants me back to kill me ....well too bad I am living for a long time!!!

Mustdoit

Ladybug2: This is about YOU not him and YOU are doing brilliantly, be proud and do it because YOU are gaining being sober, YOU are worth it. (I got very good at hiding booze & empty bottles, slipping in extra glasses of wine - outsmarting hubby /cheating at solitaire)

Good luck & keep busy, buy yourself a treat to have on Friday.

Thank you SR this site & everyone here really helps- days 37 now

forabetterlife

Newattthis- I often think the same thing…with all the benefits that come with not drinking, it’s actually a REWARD to stay sober and a punishment to drink rather than a sacrifice. We just have to keep that attitude and thought process through the tough times when our AV tries to tell us otherwise.

Claryhen: I think complacency is the key to a relapse. After having far too many slips than I’d like to count, I know that each time it’s because I became complacent, I stopped doing what I needed to do to keep sobriety a priority in my life and do what I need to do to always remember how important it is to me.

I am working on changing my attitude about this whole thing because I know that nothing changes if nothing changes. To keep my brain from going on to automatic pilot when a craving hits I MUST promise myself to do one or more of these things when a craving comes along: 1) take a walk with my dog 2) come on SR to read and/or post 3) journal 4) read something related to sobriety on my NOOK (I have purchased a small library on the subject by now) 5) eat and/or drink something.

I am also trying to prepare myself for a common dangerous thought that I often get after some sober time- “Drinking is no big deal- I’m making too much of a fuss over this not drinking thing and putting too much pressure on myself. If I allow myself to drink every now and then, it won’t be such a struggle”. Obviously, I can’t just drink every now and then. I know better.

Hope everyone has a great sober day. We can do this

debinsky

I am on day 3 being sober....and crabby as hell! I feel good about my recovery and I do see the "big picture" but everyone is irritating the hell out of me

I am scared that I am going to turn into a raging b!tch...not my normal, laid back, goofy, drunk self.

Is this temporary?

I plan to go for a run later today to work some agression out.

Preciousguppy

I hear ya, Debinski. It's day ten for me and in the middle of a week long family reunion. I am so anxious, I just want to hide. I'm definitely not my goofy fun drunk. But, I am NOT going to drink. Good luck to you.

DoloresHaze

Am I allowed here? I made the decision yesterday to taper down for 2 weeks before beginning a trial 30 days of sobriety. July 30 would be the day 1 of sobriety.

But these 2 weeks are going to be hard for me nonetheless. I'm used to getting just completely drunk, usually on Rum, every night. and some scary physical stuff is starting to happen. Then I'd just drink to cover up those things. It's nuts! Going cold turkey is not realistic for me. That's just setting myself up for failure.

So last night I stuck with wine and took it a little slower. I felt a little better this morning and I didn't vomit. Tonight I'll drink even less wine.

Preciousguppy

Delores, I'm used to getting drunk almost every day too. And the reason I'm stopping is because of the physical stuff that's starting. It's very scary. I don't have the courage yet to see the doctor. My anxiety is off the charts. I can't believe I've done this to myself. Good luck to you.

DoloresHaze

I can relate about the doctor thing, but here's what I did. I swallowed my pride and went to the doctor a few months ago. I told him my deal and he gave me a RX for Librium which I've been saving for when i'm really ready to stop. he also gave me paper work to go get bloodwork done. I've been too scared to do that though. if I can get to 30 days, then I'll do it.

but you need to tackle that anxiety. He also gave me a Rx for anxiety medication. it has helped me get through the day many a time. some people don't understand how bad anxiety can get, and then we just drink more.

Preciousguppy

Thanks, Dolores. That's what I'm thinking too. I'm gonna wait 30 days for bloodwork. It's pure he'll in the meantime tho, worrying. I never realized how anxiety triggered my drinking. Being sober gives me so much time to think, makes me so anxious.