Viperidae

Checking in. Still sleeping like crazy, but going to go out and see what happens for a while. Just the coffee shop and the guys there. Then probably thrift stores(my thing) and groceries. Got enough taco stuff yesterday for 3 days and ate it all!!

ok later friends.

sunnyc5

Sober Marathon I am with you 5pm on day 2 for me.... I feel my H is giving up on me which makes it all the much harder to keep trying!!! I wrote him a letter explaing how I felt and how hopeless I felt with out his support... I also said I wish he had never married me as I would not wish this illness on any person or their family... I think that struck a chord and he seems to less chilly but you know what we have to do this for us and no-one else then they will benefit. I asked him if we could make a pact to be kinder to one another... by my not drinking and him not hating me for drinking... hate the drink not the person... hope this helps x

trikyriky

Pattylulu : You've already began to help , 6 days is awseome . I'm 5 days off cocaine , then I've had 5 days before. I got a run going and can't let my addict voice control . After all he doesn't drive. Please post often , when ever you feel like you need. I'm rooting for you

Preciousguppy

Here I am, day 9. I'm thanking god for it and also for SR. The mere thoughts of drinking scares the hell out of me. I hope it never goes away. I've convinced myself I have every alcohol related disease there is. Soon, I will have the courage to see the doctor, but not yet. I'm still too anxious and nervous.

sobersovereign

Day 2 for me. Picked up a few recovery books and am really going to work them, which means setting aside time each day to journal and reflect. Today I'm going to pick up some good groceries and really try to clean up my diet this week, too, which has been pretty void of any real nutrients. Just taking it easy and being kind to myself. My birthday is coming up, which will be my first sober birthday in about fifteen years, but I'm determined. Love and strength to you all! Xo

SoberMarathon

AA meeting done and home now. An hour there, hour meeting, and then an hour home...makes for a long day after a full work day. Meeting was positive though, lots of good feedback and advice. I'm pretty sure one guy was actually sleeping on the table though...that was a little weird! One women could really relate to my early struggle with sobriety and her advice on how to handle high-risk situations in the early going was great!! Will try and head to at least one more meeting this week, if not two more. I find they are very useful at the moment and would encourage others in a similar boat to consider giving them a try:-) good night all...

Leshar

Ladybug!!

Please don't go there! Try to keep in the present! Even if your husband wouldn't know, you would know... You're building ground again, you know (like I do) how sad it is to lose that.
Can you plan some fun, or distracting activities for that day?
Pulling for you!

pattylulu

Thanks Triky Riky! Congrats to you on day 5.

Caoi

Day 11 tomorrow and going strong - went to bed early when friends were over drinking - I blamed jet lag.

Hope you are all staying strong!

Pamel

Gutting it out through Day 1 again... I would have bet I would never do this (but that is the way I always feel when I am sober.

Sticking close to home and trying to stay safe.

Ladybug2

Thank you, Leshar You are right and I needed the reminder. I know, deep down, that it would not be worth it and I would be throwing away another 20 days. Thanks for the support

Dee74

Well my wife wouldn't go easy on me safe LOL but thats up to you

D

Dee74

welcome serenityforever and pattylulu

great going leshar ladybug Brian wasgone lessgravity sobermarathon preciousguppy...<breathe>..... sobersovereign johnny riky caoi sicknote sunny and anyone I missed

what happened desertsweetpea? pamel? Do you want to talk about it?

D

Leshar

Found out (through FB) that one of my few girl-friends (and her husband) had a group of people over for a fire and bbq at her place. She is the only one of my 3 friends that I have (casually) told from time to time that I was worried about my drinking. Both she and her husband are heavy drinkers; she and I have talked from time to time about "cutting back". She's a lot of fun, and I miss her, and I'm sad I wasn't invited, for whatever reason. Perhaps I might have made her uncomfortable if I wasn't drinking?
I haven't told her that I'm on this path now, so I dunno... She knows I feel very lonely, I don't know how to feel about this, I just feel excluded, left out.

I should know to stay away from FB, but she told me before that it's the way she communicates with ppl now, she doesn't like email. Haven't seen her for nearly a month.

Just feel sad this evening, it's too hot to do anything outdoors, feel cooped up. Don't feel at risk of drinking though, so that's good.
Don't really know why I'm posting this, I guess perhaps like others have noted here, friendships will change, or be lost in the face of one aiming for sobriety, I suppose I'll have to learn to accept this.

Pamel

Dee, we had guests for a week and I stayed sober for that whole visit, but as they were leaving, I noticed my bf had left his scotch out and I think it was the drama of the thing. Of course what happened is I then poured out a large glass for "later" and got obviously drunk. He has just had it with me and I am lucky I am still in the house (under the now absolute condition that I don't drink). He has a breathalyzer and checks randomly.

I had so many years of being sober but with the occasional relapse, but I always got back to sobriety and AA.

Hoping and praying...

Viperidae

Leshar, maybe she did it out of consideration for you. She didn't want to put you in a situation with a ton of booze. We are all losing friends I think. And it is hard.

desertsweetpea

Dee, I've got a few things I could pin it on. Father in law's latest cancer screen was yesterday. We (hubby and I) are in the process of selling our home. I'm scared to death about all of the changes going on. When I start feeling scared/sad/overwhelmed its just too easy for me to justify having a drink. The truth is I don't feel emotionally equipped to navigate lifes ups and downs. I think years of turning to alcohol for escape have stunted my emotional and spiritual development. I guess I just wanted to make it all go away for a night.

Viperidae

Most of us are not equipped to handle the ups and downs. The ups are even worse for me when it comes to drinking. It comes slowly with time. And I will rationalize in any way I can to get a drink. 'everything is fine now, I'm moving forward, I got these goals completed, now to get blitzed!!!' It never works out.

Made it home in one piece and I'm actually already laying down under the AC and fan in my bed, at 6:45. I actually am becoming very accustomed to this heat and never have disliked high temps. Typically 95 degrees is when I feel my best. But the AC is nice. I've been talking to the other group I am in about going south because in the winters my depression makes me absolutely useless even with my Prozac. It's just as much heat as it is light for some reason. The majority of my depressive symptoms are physical. Pain, exhaustion, etc. Antidepressants fix it up so it must be right.

Anyway, moving...that's for the future. I thought of drinking and I then thought of how horrible I'd feel after 10 minutes. It's like kissing a Black Mamba and hoping the ensuing bite gives you a good buzz.

Day 5 and congrats to all that are here.

For me I need to build up my meds and stabilize, and work-out at the gym, and if I continued to drink every 5 or 7 days that will never happen.

desertsweetpea

Also, I'm a rationalizing Alcoholic who will use any excuse to justify drinking.

pattylulu

awww Leshar, that sucks........itsometimes these things just hit at the wrong time when we are feeling vulnerable